back to article Hey Google, what’s trending? Oh, just the death of journalism

Mountain View has announced "the biggest expansion of Google Trends since 2012" in a move set to thicken the already impenetrable walls of its media-baiting echo chamber. "Every journey we take on the web is unique" began the traffic consolidator's announcement. Offering churnalists the opportunity to find real-time data on …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Every journey we take on the web is unique"

    Yep. That will be the session ID you use to track that journey, eh Google?

  2. Indolent Wretch

    "the use of Google search data for stories seems primarily to be of interest to Google"

    And to all the journalists here who seem to struggle to find anybody else to write about.

    1. SuccessCase

      The Register have been leading this trend since 1994, so are way ahead of Google.

  3. elDog Silver badge

    Churnalists? Really...

    Someone once said "There is nothing new under the sun." And Mark Twain (I believe) said that he had a book that contained every word in every speech that his debate opponent had ever said - I think it was a dictionary conveniently handy to the loo.

    With more blogs than people on the planet it's not too surprising that stuff gets regurgitated every now and then. Perhaps a more useful function would be one that found brand new uses of words, phrases, sentences, ideas rather than examples of the same old tired ones.

    Google: Whoa, that's a totally new one on me!

    1. Tom 13

      Re: found brand new uses of words, phrases, sentences

      I'd rather they retained their meaning. If they're changing all the time, how will we ever communicate.

      ...

      On second thought, never mind.

  4. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Screening process...

    "a faster, deeper and more comprehensive view of our world" through what they describe as "the lens" of Google Search

    ... which will, no doubt, screen out anything Google doesn't want you to see...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Screening process...

      A link to F'em as an example of someone wronged by Google? Seriously.

      F'em were a parasite on the back of search engines and now, backed by Microsoft, are trying to claim they were a victim rather than a meta search who wanted free advertising and questionable SEO to try to propel a myth they were a serious business rather than just an affiliate hunting link farm.

  5. zerowaitstate

    So instead of settling for simple rumors we can now base our journalism on metarumors, i.e., rumors about rumors.

    1. David Pollard

      ...

      Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em,

      And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.

  6. Morrie Wyatt
    Coat

    What a straight line!

    <Fireproof Suit>

    You know you set yourself up for this.

    "The Register can confirm that it was not contacted."

    Because Google only contacted Journalists.

    </Fireproof Suit>

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a straight line!

      > Because Google only contacted Journalists.

      This does not by itself prove that Reg writers are not Journalists, since Google didn't contact ALL Journalists. And I'm not sure (if I were a Journalist) that I'd WANT Google to be contacting me in that capacity, given the current article's content.

  7. Alistair Silver badge
    Coat

    google appears to consider

    Buzzfeed "Journalists"

    I think the OED needs to modify an entry somewhere.

    *cough* Buzzfeed? an occasionally grin worthy, ad overloaded waste of time as far as I can tell. If this will be considered Journalism 2.0, then we as a species are outright doomed.

    1. Yag

      Re: google appears to consider

      we as a species are outright doomed.

      You seems to still have doubts about it.

    2. Tom 13
      Devil

      Re: google appears to consider

      Buzzfeed isn't Journalism 2.0, it's AI Journalism.

  8. Phuq Witt

    In my other comments...

    * 20 Amazing uses for Creosote

    * 10 Animals you won't believe are real

    * The most important youtube comments of 2015

    * Why scientists think tomatoes may help us live forever

    * This man wants to wallpaper Mars

    * 15 children who are really baby adults

    * 10 ways to spot clickbait

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Journalism on the internet

    Sorry, just spat my tea all over the place...

    I can't remember the last time I saw journalism online, its just clickbaiting and viral marketing.

  10. Shannon Jacobs
    Holmes

    Limits of negativity?

    Actually, part of the reason I like the Reg is the skepticism. However, this is a case where you could actually DO something. My oft-repeated always-ignored suggestion is that you start selling SOLUTIONS to the problems you are so delighted to tell us about. Wasting keystrokes, but here's a slightly different version:

    You hold the subscription money in a "charity share account" that we can donate towards projects that solve the problems. Perhaps 90% is for internal projects, which basically means you take the money from one pocket to another. For example, an internal project to pay for an article you'd already published might not raise the funding, but that would give you valuable feedback about your bad choices. In contrast, a topic we're actually interested in would fund the project for the original article, a project for more research, and maybe one or more specific follow-on article projects.

    The external projects would be special gravy, especially for the authors who sincerely want to solve the problems. In addition, one would hope that their research into and resulting clarity in describing the problem earns them some say in the projects that might help solve the problem.

    *sigh* More details available upon request, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for requests. It seems like the only way to make it happen is quit my current fairly satisfactory job and do this one myself.

  11. Schlimnitz

    What shocks me is 'respectable' sites like the BBC stooping to essentially constructing 'news' out of a list of tweets.

    1. Tom 13

      @Schlimnitz

      You were lost as soon as you tried to put "respectable" in the same sentence as the "BBC" without inserting a negation between the two.

    2. smartypants

      Not always tweets

      In the early morning, Radio 3's news consists almost entirely of unedited excerpts of press releases lying on the mat when the staff arrive to wind up the gramophone and put Catriona Young out with the milk bottles.

      Charity for dying children discovers more dying children than ever!

      Mr Politician is expected to claim later today in a speech to people who aren't listening that....

      The campaign for more poo walked into the house claimed today that a worrying increase in continental shoes-off-at-the-door behaviour has led to an alarming rise in allergies related to clean living.

      So nice that the old fashioned ways still have relevance in today's crazy social-media world.

  12. Sampler

    Death of the Journalist?

    Scroobius Pip: https://youtu.be/CGPf1HXX7nw

    Seems appropriate..

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have friggin idea what it is you are blathering on about Register boyos.

    1 Drink Tea

    2 Calm down

    3 Try again

    No more Coffee! NO!!!!

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