back to article Trial halted as Kartoon defence attorney arrested after warrant discovery

The trial of a man accused of fraudulently purchasing more than 150 fondleslabs was halted in San Francisco Bay's Redwood City last week when the judge learned that the defence attorney had not only an inactive law licence, but also a warrant for his arrest on drug and theft charges. SFGate reports that the attorney — 48-year …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'When I get my head screwed on'

    S'all Good Man

  2. Harry the Bastard

    better call saul

    (body)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IT angle?

    At all...

    1. Corinne

      Re: IT angle?

      "The trial of a man accused of fraudulently purchasing more than 150 fondleslabs..."

  4. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. James O'Shea Silver badge

      So, to review...

      1 m'man was making 100 MPH in a 55 zone

      2 he was driving on a suspended license

      3 he had no insurance

      4 he had multiple assorted drugs and a meth pipe

      5 he had a counterfeit $100 bill

      6 he posted bail and went home... and didn't think to remove the assorted drugs packaged for sale from his house before the narcs got there (note that the narcs didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to arrive, either...)

      7 he also didn't get rid of the other counterfeit bills

      8 he had drugs actually in his possession when he arrived at the county lockup

      Tell me, does he actually remember to breathe while he walks? How stupid can you be and actually graduate from law school? (Oh. Wait. There's the example of ex-Veep Danforth 'Mr. Potatoehead' Quayle. But even Danny boy wasn't _this_ stupid. Well, probably not, anyway.)

      I'd have thought that if you know that you have drugs and counterfeit money in the car and have no insurance and a suspended license, you drive like a grandma (and not like the little old lady from Pasadena...) so as to avoid getting nicked by the cops. Which, as the reason why the narcs visited was 'cause they had reason to suspect that m'man had interesting stuff on his premises, would have avoided the other problems, too. But methheads don't think...

      1. Tom 13

        Re: Tell me, does he actually remember to breathe while he walks?

        He's a meth head. I have a friend who is dealing with the fact that one of his sisters has become a meth head. That shit rots your brain fast. You think you're invincible and twice as smart as everybody else in the room put together.

        How stupid can you be and actually graduate from law school?

        If he wasn't on meth in law school, he might have been quite bright as is the case with my friend's sister.

        Mr. Potatoehead

        Funny you should pick him instead of the guy who thinks there are 57 states in the US. Lots of people misspell potato since 'potatoes' is the correct plural. I haven't met anyone else who thinks there are 57 states in the US.

        I'd have thought that if you know that you have drugs and counterfeit money in the car and have no insurance and a suspended license, you drive like a grandma

        In the US, the surest sign that you're up to something illegal is driving like a grandma when you're not.

        1. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

          Re: Tell me, does he actually remember to breathe while he walks?

          "57 states in the US."

          Yeah, but there are 57 states + protectorates. At least he isn't stupid enough to believe that Puerto Rico is a foreign country...

  5. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    Joke

    Kartoon

    2D or not 2D?

    That is the question

    1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Kartoon

      With a name like that, I would expect him to have to stand trial in Judge Doom's court. I bet the all the assistant DAs in the district are fighting to take this one to trial.

  6. thomas k.

    hard worker

    Won't be working quite so frenetically once he's off the meth, I'd wager.

  7. jake Silver badge

    Cartoon indeed.

    That is all.

    1. Anonymous Blowhard

      Re: Cartoon indeed.

      Makes Lionel Hutz look like Robert Shapiro...

  8. Jimmy2Cows

    "There’s going to be smarter lawyers out there, but no one’s going to work harder than I will."

    Thought the trick was to work smarter, not harder...

    Ah wait, we're talking lawyers... working hard for the sake of it keeps the billable hours up. Working smart gets the job done in half the time, and that's a problem they don't want.

    1. Jedit

      Re: "There’s going to be smarter lawyers out there, but no one’s going to work harder than I will."

      Well, at least there's one small advantage to having a lawyer on amphetamines...

    2. Evil Graham

      Re: "There’s going to be smarter lawyers out there, but no one’s going to work harder than I will."

      It's not the best advertising slogan, I'll give you that.

      Even worse is the possibility that his perception of time has been warped by all the illicit substances, so that he just *thinks* he's working harder.

  9. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    I think we can also explain why he keeps forgetting to pay his license fees

    All up the pipe.

  10. Turtle

    The very idea...

    "Kartoon defence attorney"? Kind of a caricature of a real defence attorney. then? The very idea is comical!

  11. Graham Marsden
    Thumb Down

    "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you"...

    ... says the Miranda warning.

    Which is all well and good, but if the one appointed to you turns out to be a crook or useless or the town drunk, well, that doesn't matter, because the State has done what it says it will do.

    As always, it's "how much justice can you afford"?

    1. Mike Moyle Silver badge

      Re: "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you"...

      ...And a good way to win on appeal is to show inadequate/incompetent legal representation in your first trial.

      Not an ideal solution, of course, but having a meth-head for a lawyer is not a guarantee of a one-way trip to the big house.

      1. Graham Marsden

        Re: "If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you"...

        Not an ideal solution by any stretch of the imagination...

        An examination of 461 capital cases by The Dallas Morning News found that nearly one in four condemned inmates has been represented at trial or on appeal by court-appointed attorneys who have been disciplined for professional misconduct at some point in their careers. ("Quality Of Justice" Dallas Morning News, September 10, 2000).

        An investigation by the Texas Defender Service found that, "Death row inmates today face a one-in-three chance of being executed without having the case properly investigated by a competent attorney and without having any claims of innocence or unfairness presented or heard." (Lethal Indifference: The Fatal Combination of Incompetent Attorneys and Unaccountable Courts Texas Defender Service, 2002).

        In Washington state, one-fifth of the 84 people who have faced execution in the past 20 years were represented by lawyers who had been, or were later, disbarred, suspended or arrested. (Overall, the state’s disbarment rate for attorneys is less than 1%.) (Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Aug. 6-8, 2001).

  12. andy k O'Croydon

    Works on contingency?

    No, money down!

  13. SoloSK71

    $15,000 bail for drugs

    $500,000 bail for fraud (of a big corporation at that I am guessing)

    say what?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Bail is based in part on the likelihood that the accused will try to skip town, the likelihood of repeat crime as well as the severity of the crime. It's normally set by the judge after lawyers from both sides have been able to argue what fair bail is for this case. This guy clearly didn't have a good lawyer on his side.

      Admittedly, he must've been a really bad lawyer for his client to get stuck with $500k bail on less than $150k of fraud.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019