back to article Milking cow shot dead by police 'while trying to escape'

Firearms officers from Northumbria Police have shot dead a fugitive cow following an escape attempt by some cattle. Reports came in to the seemingly excessively-equipped police force on Sunday afternoon that three cows – which witnesses thought had escaped from a nearby farm – were moving towards the A1058 Coast Road, a busy …

  1. Mark 85 Silver badge
    WTF?

    So they needed to go up high instead of walking close? If someone got a picture of it, and the cops wanted to shoot, why not from where the photo was taken. Not like the cow was wearing camouflage and hiding in the woods.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      A clean shot, otherwise the animal right lot would be all over the story.

      1. Matt Bryant Silver badge

        Re: Lost all faith...

        "A clean shot...." Exactly. As the French found out when their cops tried to stop this panicked cow - https://www.yummypets.com/mag/news/miscfatcs/34007/a-cow-killed-by-70-gun-shots-by-french-police - probably with 9mm service pistols. Note the hysterical tone of the yummypets post - "how dare they kill an animal endangering human beings!" - the insistence that an "anesthetic gun" could be miraculously available to the police involved, that a vet could have attended and somehow sedated the animal without the animal endangering anybody during the wait, etc., etc.

    2. Charles Manning

      A distressed cow just runs.... fences mean nothing.

      About three years back my neighbouring farmer went away for the week end and two of his cows decided to go walkabout (leaving me to try sort it out). The cows were distressed having just been taken away from their calves and moved to a different farm. They broke through 7-wire fences like you would walk through cobwebs, smashed up about 15 fences and ended up many farms and about 7km away.

      Once they were settled down though it was easy to drive them home, just walked along behind them giving them a nudge now and then.

      Hence the need to get up high.... this wasn't just daisy munching buttercups in the field.

      1. Steve Crook

        Leaping Cow

        Had one in the garden a few years back. It had done a bunk from a herd moving along the road. I was working from home at the time, and looked up to see cow legging it down the garden pursued by three blokes. Took a few seconds to wonder if there was something in the water and decided the sight was real so kept watching.

        The blokes thought they'd got the bovine cornered, but it made a dash for it and hurdled a 3 foot fence+ditch to make it into the field next door. Very impressive.

      2. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge
        Black Helicopters

        Always shoot downwards

        The need to get high stems from the use of a rifle; bullets can travel for quite some way, and it was an inhabited area (with a busy road close by). In order to avoid any accident, the cops wanted a downward shot. Good on them (the need to dispatch the animal in the first place notwithstanding).

      3. vagabondo

        Daisy

        Methinks a "Daisy" should be a Dairy Shorthorn, or at a push a British Friesian. The pictured bovine looks like a Swiss Brown; so should be a "Gretchen", or maybe "Paquerette".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Daisy

          I would not get near a distressed cow if I were you. Ran a D&D campaign once where a drunken dwarf decided to go cow tipping. The cow killed him with a single critical hit kick. His friend then ran over to see what was wrong, they were also dispatched in a single kick.

          Do not mess with cows.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Daisy

            I've always (well sometimes)wondered how D&Ders calibrate all their numbers. Are you saying this was an effective simulation of a real life cow vs dwarf confrontation? did the cow have armour on? :)

            1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

              Re: Daisy

              I've always (well sometimes)wondered how D&Ders calibrate all their numbers.

              Clearly you did not waste time enlighten yourself reading back issues of Dragon magazine, back in the day. Many were the debates over the mad rigors of calculating damage and other figures.

              Unfortunately the OP left out much critical information. What was the cow's THAC0? Was it wearing the +1 Cowbell of Accuracy? Did the dwarf fail his Saving Throw against Alerting Livestock? Was he on a stool? (Because, y'know, it's hard to tip a cow from the bottom.)

          2. Anonymous Blowhard

            Re: Daisy

            "Ran a D&D campaign once where a drunken dwarf decided to go cow tipping"

            A drunk and disorderly campaign? No wonder it didn't end well...

            1. Irongut

              Re: Daisy

              Wow you ran a D&D campaign once, you must be an expert in cows then.

    3. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      So they needed to go up high instead of walking close?

      When a cow has beef (sorry) with you, best keep out of its way - there is a lot of kinetic energy in a cow that decides to start moving.

      They had to shoot it, the steaks* were too high.

      (* actually by the late Tommy Cooper who could do that sort of material really well)

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Desidero

        It's a shame to kill a Mockingcow.

    4. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Mark 85

      "So they needed to go up high instead of walking close?....." Ever seen a car that has collided with a cow? I have. I've seen a Ford Sierra that hit a cow at 30mph and it looked like the Sierra had hit a wall. The driver ended up in intensive care. The police had a responsibility to protect the public first, the property (the cow) second. Especially considering that, on the nearbye A road, a car is probably going to be doing more than 30mph (indeed, having driven in the Newcastle area, I'd be surprised if they were doing less than 60mph). And that the sudden deceleration of the first accident with the cow could cause further accidents and a pile-up. So the last thing the officers (who probably had zero farming knowledge but a lot of traffic knowledge) would want to do would be to risk approaching the animal and scaring it into running into the road. So, if they have taken the decision to kill the cow rather than risk waiting for the farmer, the next logical step is how to kill it without spooking it into traffic, which means from a distance and from a good vantage point. Good tactical appreciation, lousy farming knowledge. But then I don't expect city cops to be trained on herding cattle and I do expect them to take whatever steps are necessary to protect the public.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Mark 85

        Whilst I understand the need and the problem (yes, I've seen cow vs. car and deer vs. car.. it's never pretty) I was puzzled by the need for elevation. Around where I live, they get within 30 yards or so and using hunting (unjacketed) rounds, dispatch said beast pretty quick.

      2. hplasm Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Mark 85

        "how to kill it without spooking it into traffic."

        Don't want the highways haunted, that's for sure...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mark 85

          The report says the cow was in a field an not moving so there wasn't really any need to just shoot it. They really should have either waited and only shot if it made a break for it or better still used a tranquilizer gun.

          While it's not really a big deal it does worry me how eager the police are to shoot things these days and make a minor incident into something bigger. It used to be that one of the key skills of the police was to take diffuse situations.

          1. Matt Bryant Silver badge

            Re: AC Re: Mark 85

            "The report says the cow was in a field an not moving...." Lost cows will often pause, even stop to graze, that doesn't mean they will not then carry on somewhere else like the local highway. There was an incident not too long ago in Darlington that even had a vid on the Beeb News site, where a cow escaped a market and went on a two hour rampage, including numerous stops to graze in front gardens and a park. The cops eventually shot it when it started charging and damaging cars near a school.

            "......They really should have either waited and only shot if it made a break for it...." So, pass up the option for a standing target for the chance they could get a killing shot on a moving target? You've obviously never hunted before or you'd be laughing as hard as I am at that farcical statement. Ever try a spine shot on a fast-moving herbivore going away from you because that is the only shot guaranteed to instantly drop a large animal? Deer, which are smaller than cattle, will often run hundreds of yards even after taking fatal lung or heart shots from purpose-built hunting rifles. A wounded cow would be even more likely to panic into traffic.

            ".....or better still used a tranquilizer gun....." Which cop cars do not carry, neither do UK armed response teams. While we're wishing for imaginary police equipment, why didn't you insist they pull out their instantly-inflatable corral?

            "....While it's not really a big deal it does worry me how eager the police are to shoot things these days....." Which shows you also did as little research as Roo. Please go look at the Beeb articles I linked to in my reply to his ignorance.

      3. martinusher Silver badge

        Re: Mark 85

        I see that England has gone all American -- you 'protect' the public by shooting things (often the very public that you're supposed to be protecting). An armed response should be a last resort, not the first response.

        Cows can be dangerous if you're not used to them but they are like other farm animals, they're used to being moved around by humans. You just have to be aware that they're large, heavy and not very bright.

  2. Charles Manning

    A cow is actually quite dangerous

    Last year 2262 cattle-caused injuries were reported in NZ. Even sheep caused 1500 or so injuries.You just can't stop a cow that wants to go in a specific direction. Even a sheep is hard enough.

    But still, 20 cops to kill a cow? C'mon one shot with a rifle or shotgun will do it. Even Pom cops should be able to do that!

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

      2262 cattle-caused injuries were reported in NZ. Even sheep caused 1500 or so injuries

      Statistics don't mean anything if no context is given though.

      1. Anonymous Blowhard

        Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

        "Even sheep caused 1500 or so injuries"

        Is an STI really an injury?

      2. Tom Wood

        Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

        Indeed. NZ has about 10 million cattle (beef + dairy) and 38 million sheep, but just 4.5 million people.

        Though I'm not sure if you should calculate injury rates per animal or per farmer...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

      A week ago when I commented that the UK firearms units (the ones allowed to carry weapons) are as trigger happy as their USA bretheren. I guess it did not take a while for them to provide evidence towards that.

      While a distressed cow can be quite dangerous most farmers can and do handle them on a daily basis. Using a firearms unit for the same purposes is a stupid idea (unless you _WANT_ the incident to end up with a BBQ). What's next? Predator drones. Oh, I forgot, the Mancunian police dept nearly bought one a while back (the only thing that prevented it was someone whistleblowing to the press).

      1. dogged

        Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

        > While a distressed cow can be quite dangerous most farmers can and do handle them on a daily basis.

        That's because farmers try to avoid terrifying the poor bloody animal with a fucking helicopter.

        The stupid in these police is way, way too strong.

        .

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

        "A week ago when I commented that the UK firearms units (the ones allowed to carry weapons) are as trigger happy as their USA bretheren."

        But luckily we have few firearms equipped units, generally kept on a short leash, and the result is that UK police have shot 23 people dead in 10 years, compared to somewhere between 300 to 600 people US authorities shoot dead every year.

        I think many people would agree that outfits like SO19 should have been replaced with Army personnel on permanent deployment to assist the police, but to suggest that our armed police are as bad as the cowboys apparently operating with impunity across the US is simply libellous.

        You might want to read this, for a summary of what the Land of the Free enjoy:

        http://davidstockmanscontracorner.com/rising-police-aggression-a-telling-indicator-of-our-societal-decline/

        And a search on "militarization of us police" will bring up some juicy detail. My particular favourite was the headline "Obama calls for turret mounted cameras on all police tanks".

        1. AndyS

          Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

          "Obama calls for turret mounted cameras on all police tanks"

          Brought to you by the Onion:

          http://www.theonion.com/article/obama-calls-for-turret-mounted-video-cameras-on-al-37586

          Although the rest of your post is on-point and valid, so you can keep your upvote.

        2. GrumpenKraut Silver badge

          Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

          Thanks, the (Martenson) article makes for a very interesting (though somewhat depressing) read.

    3. druck Silver badge

      Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

      Charles Manning wrote:

      But still, 20 cops to kill a cow? C'mon one shot with a rifle or shotgun will do it.

      Rifle yes, but a shotgun isn't going fell a cow.

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

        Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

        but a shotgun isn't going fell a cow.

        Do you not have shotgun slugs? If Foster or Brenneke slugs aren't available it's easy enough to melt some wax to bind the shot together. Sure the wax route is a bit crude as it has poorer range and accuracy than a proper slug but it works in a pinch even if it does quickly foul the bore.

        1. ElectricRook

          Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

          You won't need a gun . . . If you shoot Mongo. You'll only make him mad.

          Having been a cowboy, and having had to once put a few down, I can tell you that you want to do it execution style and put it in the back of the neck where the spine enters the skull. This will break the atlas vertebrae (the highest one) and cause instant death. They cow will drop like a sack of potatoes and not make so much as a twitch. Only a high power rifle will go through the front of the skull on a bull, while a .22LR will take out the spine.

          I had a bull jump the fence and get hit, turned out the people who hit him were on their way to commit a murder. Yes the new pickup looked like it had hit a wall. The bull other than not breathing only had a few ribs looking out of place.

          Unless you are chasing a cow, she only wants to be reunited with her baby and her herd.

      2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge
        Joke

        But still, 20 cops to kill a cow?

        Maybe they were using milk rounds...

    4. regadpellagru

      Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

      "Last year 2262 cattle-caused injuries were reported in NZ. Even sheep caused 1500 or so injuries."

      No, a cow is not dangerous, unless you're stupid enough to hand over some grass plus your fingers to it , as it's not really clever at making the distinction.

      No-one should ever have the need to shoot a cow.

      Want it no to walk on your toes ? move away from its path. Want to force it back to the barn ? Use a stick.

      End of the problem.

      I have wandering cows every single week on my roads, and fortunately, there's no lunatic copper here stupid enough to shoot them, with or without an helicopter.

      1. Roo
        Windows

        Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

        "Want it no to walk on your toes ? move away from its path. Want to force it back to the barn ? Use a stick."

        You don't have to hit them or shout at them. Cows, contrary to popular opinion, are rarely stupid or deaf. Shaking a bag of feed will usually get a Cow's attention, and it'll usually head towards the bag of feed at a rate of knots. Hope they tried that before flying in helicopters and armed policemen because it would have been a lot easier & cheaper.

        1. ElectricRook

          Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

          When the only tool you have looks like a gun, every problem starts to look like a target.

        2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: Roo Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

          ".....Hope they tried that before flying in helicopters and armed policemen....." Yeah, because a bag of cow feed is standard issue in all city-based cop cars, right? Helicopters and armed police are available when the commanding officer on the ground asks for them, but animal feed is not. Do you want to suggest the coppers should have risked public safety by waiting to find a local pet store that stocked cow feed? Fail!

          1. Roo
            Windows

            Re: Roo A cow is actually quite dangerous

            "Yeah, because a bag of cow feed is standard issue in all city-based cop cars, right"

            Firearms aren't standard issue for the Northumbrian plods either, despite your best efforts Matt.

            "Do you want to suggest the coppers should have risked public safety by waiting to find a local pet store that stocked cow feed"

            That's your lame brain stawman Matt, so no, I wouldn't make such a suggestion. Besides in this instance the Police took the time to summon some firearms officers and try to set up in someone's bedroom before they shot the cow, I reckon they could have collected a farmer from a local farm/called a vet in the same time or quicker.

            As for preventing a traffic accident, policemen slow/stop traffic around obstacles all the time... It's not rocket science.

          2. Eddy Ito Silver badge

            Re: Roo A cow is actually quite dangerous

            Who needs cow feed? Any market that sells veg will do. I'd start with carrots with the greens on or if it's got a sweet tooth a bag of pears or apples will do fine. I'd wager a few bucks on the fresh veg actually being a better lure than the standard feed they get every single day.

    5. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: A cow is actually quite dangerous

      "You just can't stop a cow that wants to go in a specific direction."

      Back when I were a 98lb. weakling we had a steer ready for the butcher. Damn thing broke through the chute dragging my dad an me through the snow. The snow was deep, dad weighed about 300lbs, I figured the steer would stop after a few feet. Then dad let go of his rope...

      ...got 10 feet of snow up my nose before I realized what was happening.

  3. hplasm Silver badge
    FAIL

    They had to shoot it-

    before it outwitted them.

    1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Where's My Cow?

      The manager of the Rising Sun Farm, which witnesses thought was the source of the hoofed escapologists, contacted the Chronicle to say that the farm did not own any cows.

      Does your cow bite?

      No.

      OK. HRUUUGH! OW!!! I thought you said your cow does not bite!

      That's not my cow.

  4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Holmes

    Wikus van der Merwe: Cow Morph!

    So.... how many of the bluejackets are recycled veterans of the "Mission Accomplished" wars?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wikus van der Merwe: Cow Morph!

      "how many of the bluejackets are recycled veterans"

      Very few. That's part of the problem IMHO, that the military have discipline and a healthy respect for weapons, along with a general reluctance to use necessary force. The civil police don't all appear to have that same respect for the power of the weapons they carry.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Just for you townies...

    ...this is what happens to a car that hits a cow:

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s---GPR4gcN--/17ivyzmgnuz5kjpg.jpg

    http://img.bulawayo24.com/articles/993054_553605598020083_317880294_n.jpg

    It no joke, someone doing 60 mph and hitting a stationary 1 tonne lump of meat is not going to come off well.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just for you townies...

      "It no joke,"

      Certainly not to the '1 tonne lump of meat' called Daisy.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just for you townies...

      It no joke, someone doing 60 mph and hitting a stationary 1 tonne lump of meat is not going to come off well.

      That doesn't explain the 2nd car - that is a sideways impact, not a frontal one. Either the car was going sideways at speed, or the cow was doing 60 mph :)

      1. Natalie Gritpants

        Re: Just for you townies...

        2nd car picture is a classic T-bone accident.

        Also in the 1st it looks like the occupants of the car would have survived.

        1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: Natalie Twitpants Re: Just for you townies...

          ".....Also in the 1st it looks like the occupants of the car would have survived." Wow, so determined to hate you really did miss a lot from the first pic! Firstly, it's not your average UK hatchback, it's a great big truck! The second is what is called "roll-up" damage, where the cow has been hit in the legs (by the standard height bumpers) and has then collapsed onto the bonnet of the truck, rolling up it and squashing the cab. No, the driver and any front-seat passengers are highly likely not to have survived. Which brings us to the third point, related to the first - if a cow rolls up a truck bonnet which is probably more than a metre high, it will actually directly hit the windscreen of a lower family hatchback or saloon rather than losing momentum rolling up the bonnet - which means more force impacting the passenger cell and probably killing all the vehicle occupants. The second accident could have been caused by the vehicle trying to swerve to avoid the animal, skidding and hitting it side on.

          So, try not to hate for a moment and think about the choice the coppers had - wait for the farmer when they have no idea how long he will be (indeed, if he had even been identified); risk scaring the cow into traffic seeing as city cops are not trained on herding distressed cattle; or ensure public safety by killing the cow. Only the latter course guaranteed the desired result, although it also seems to guarantee that clueless haters would immediately seie the opportunity to rant about "trigger-happy filth". How sadly predictable you lot are.

          1. Roo
            Windows

            Re: Natalie Twitpants Just for you townies...

            "How sadly predictable you lot are" - same goes for you MB.

            The police could have had a hunt around for a farmer (any one will do) to give them a hand, in about 99.99% cases that would have been cheaper, easier & quicker than calling in the hit squad, and funnily enough that is exactly what *used* to happen if some cattle was found to be roaming her majesty's highways.

            I suspect that they panicked the cow first by beeping their car horns/sirens, shouting and hitting the thing without bothering to seek advice and then decided to shoot it rather than lose face by inviting the local vet to witness their incompetence and abuse of livestock.

            In this case I hope I am wrong, but sadly my experiences of how ignorant and frightened people deal with cattle indicates the abuse of panicking animals scenario is far more likely.

            1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
              FAIL

              Re: Roo Re: Natalie Twitpants Just for you townies...

              ".....The police could have had a hunt around for a farmer (any one will do) to give them a hand,...." Really? So it would have taken only seconds if the cow had decided to charge into traffic, risking a fatal accident or an even worse pile-up, yet you think they should stand around and do nothing on the off-chance they could find a farmer in suburban Newcastle?

              "....and funnily enough that is exactly what *used* to happen if some cattle was found to be roaming her majesty's highways....." And you have some proof that (a) no farm animal potentially endangering the public has ever been shot before, and (b) that it is a conscious change of policy to kill any such farm animal out-of-hand? Pity you didn't take the time to do even the slightest bit of research, otherwise you might have stumbled on these previous cases on the Beeb alone - http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-norfolk-29587571, http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-tees-15919216, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/2710179.stm.

              "......I suspect that they panicked the cow first by beeping their car horns/sirens, shouting and hitting the thing without bothering to seek advice and then decided to shoot it rather than lose face by inviting the local vet to witness their incompetence and abuse of livestock....." Well, given your general lack of insight and obvious failure to do even the most basic of research, do you really think anyone is going to put your suspicions down to anything other than ignorance and anti-plod bias?

              1. Roo
                Windows

                Re: Roo Natalie Twitpants Just for you townies...

                "".....The police could have had a hunt around for a farmer (any one will do) to give them a hand,...." Really?"

                Yes, really.

                "So it would have taken only seconds if the cow had decided to charge into traffic, risking a fatal accident or an even worse pile-up,"

                It's something they could have done while they were waiting 20+ mins for the hit squad to arrive.

                "yet you think they should stand around and do nothing on the off-chance they could find a farmer in suburban Newcastle?"

                No, I don't think that the Police should stand around doing nothing. That should be clear from the posts that you are responding to. It appears that are have nothing useful to contribute to the debate, so you are falling back to your usual practice of making shit up and putting words in other people's mouths.

                "do you really think anyone is going to put your suspicions down to anything other than ignorance and anti-plod bias?"

                I am biased against people behaving stupidly and/or dangerously (whether they are plods or otherwise). As it happens I did grow up on a dairy & sheep farm so I have some experience of dealing with livestock (on and off the road), and I don't like seeing livestock being mistreated whether it be through ignorance, malice or stupidity. I'm not out to have plods hanged for shooting Cows, but I do believe that they *should* be capable of finding a safer, simpler, cheaper and quicker solution than calling out a hit-squad.

                1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
                  FAIL

                  Re: Roo Re: Roo Natalie Twitpants Just for you townies...

                  "....It's something they could have done while they were waiting 20+ mins for the hit squad to arrive....." Again, you really should try and do a little research before plugging both feet into your gob. As revealed in the Beeb report, the armed response unit was included from the start - "....A helicopter and six police marksmen tracked the trio - two were recaptured but Bessie was shot "in the interests of public safety"...." (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-tyne-32800365).

                  ".....No, I don't think that the Police should stand around doing nothing. That should be clear from the posts that you are responding to. It appears that are have nothing useful to contribute to the debate, so you are falling back to your usual practice of making shit up and putting words in other people's mouths....." Nope, I'm pointing out that your (laughable) suggestions would both require considerable amounts of time and therefore risk endangering the public, a point you seem dead set on denying at any cost. Your desire to find any excuse to slate the cops for carrying out what probably wasn't a pleasant but definitely neccessary task makes me wonder if you're one of those militant veggies or animal rights types? If that's the case I'm happy to say I'll be having a big steak for dinner.

                  ".....I am biased against people behaving stupidly and/or dangerously...." Yet you slate the cops for taking the course of stopping an imminent danger to the public? Personally I'm all for not harming animals, but that is balanced against the potential risk to human beings. Would you be shrieking so if it had been a dog attacking children? Please do bear in mind the cars the cow might have caused an accident with could have been carrying children as well as adults.

                  ".....a safer, simpler, cheaper and quicker solution than calling out a hit-squad." Your use of the phrase "hit-squad" talks more of your bias than your knowledge. I suggest you go Google for the large number of times cows have been shot worldwide before you try insisting this was either an unplanned response or an impetuous decision. The helicopter was the quickest way to find the cows, the armed response unit was included in the original call (not called out later), and there solution was both efficient, cheap, and ensured public safety. Unfortunately it also seems to have ensured the usual knee-jerk hating from the uninformed.

        2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

          Re: Just for you townies...

          a classic T-bone accident

          Yup, spotted. Nice one :)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just for you townies...

        And I'm not convinced the first one is the result of hitting a heavy animal with relatively long thin legs - deer, horses and cows usually have little effect on the front of the vehicle, rather they crash straight through the windscreen.

    3. AndyS

      Re: Just for you townies...

      You're right, even if you are just posting pictures of random accidents.

      So to be consistent, we need to shoot every cow in a field beside a road in the whole country.

      Also, have you seen the damage a tree can do to a car? It's no joke, someone doing 60 mph and hitting a stationary 1 tonne lump of wood is not going to come off well.

      Now, where's my chainsaw?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just for you townies...

        The first is a Ford F-150 and the occupants survived. The second vehicle went on to strike another vehicle after hitting the cow.

    4. launcap Silver badge

      Re: Just for you townies...

      > someone doing 60 mph and hitting a stationary 1 tonne lump

      I've seen the results of a Ducatti cutting a lamb in half in Scotland (Ducatti mostly survived - was still just about ridable). Lamb slightly less so.

      Picking scorched wool and bits of lamb out of the front of the fairing and engine not so amusing.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: Just for you townies... @lost all faith

      The Department of Transport's Driving manual states that a driver should always drive within the stopping distance for their vehicle.

      It does not matter if you are driving on a dual carriageway, a motorway or a single track country road, the onus is always for the driver to be able to stop if an unexpected hazard appears.

      This means that the police's instance on killing the cow because it was a danger to traffic is really bogus.

      If there was really an issue with this, then they should be out culling all of the deer, wild ponies and badgers that are very, very frequently seen on the roads I drive on in Somerset, including A roads and dual carriageways. The number of times I have to take avoiding action, especially at twilight, is almost uncountable.

      This was clearly a gross over-reaction by police in a rural area who should really have known better!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just for you townies... @lost all faith

        What are you on about?

        You should always _follow_ at a safe distance - greater than your stopping distance. But if the distance between you and the thing in front of you is suddenly only 10 feet because it's run unseen into your path there's bugger all you can do about it. We could of course drive at no more than 5mph in order to allow for all possible scenarios, but then we might as well walk.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just for you townies... @lost all faith

        The trigger-happy under-trained (reported opinion of Army trainers) armed cops have to justify their existence somehow.

      3. Cynic_999 Silver badge

        Re: Just for you townies... @lost all faith

        "

        The Department of Transport's Driving manual states that a driver should always drive within the stopping distance for their vehicle.

        "

        Something that you have obviously misinterpreted. It refers to driving at a speed that allows you to stop within the distance you can see *of the road ahead*. It applies only to what is happening in the road ahead, it does not apply to something moving into the road from the side, or an oncoming car that moves onto the wrong side of the road. It is pretty obvious that you could not drive everywhere slow enough to avoid a vehicle, cow or pedestrian that unexpectedly moves into your path from the verge or a side-road a few meters in front of your bonnet. We slow down only in areas where such occurrences are *likely* to happen, and then usually only enough to limit the damage, not enough to avoid an accident altogether.

        In addition, most people will leave a gap from the vehicle ahead that allows them to stop if the car in front brakes hard, but that will be insufficient if the vehicle ahead stops abnormally abruptly by hitting a large stationary object, or will allow you to stop if something falls from the vehicle ahead. That would entail leaving a gap large enough to take your reaction time plus stopping distance, which at 70MPH will be around 100 meters or 4 seconds *if* the driver is on the ball. But we are usually taught the "two second rule" - and 2 seconds is insufficient to allow for a "dead stop" at 70 MPH.

        The fact is that a single cow emerging unexpectedly onto a crowded fast-moving dual carriageway is highly likely to result in a multiple vehicle pile-up and several fatalities. Our actions must reflect behaviour that occurs in real-life, not some idealised behaviour that we should theoretically be following.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just for you townies... @lost all faith

        "It does not matter if you are driving on a dual carriageway, a motorway or a single track country road, the onus is always for the driver to be able to stop if an unexpected hazard appears."

        I don't expect an elephant to come running onto the road at 60 mph ["unexpected hazard"], so I suppose I should only be driving about 1 mph then.

    6. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Just for you townies...

      "...this is what happens to a car that hits a cow:"

      That first shot looks like the occupants got lucky. A friend of mine wasn't.

      He hit a black cow on a dark road at 60mph at 2am. The impact flipped the cow over and it went through the windscreen legs first.

      It didn't end well for the cow, my friend or his passengers.

    7. martinusher Silver badge

      Re: Just for you townies...

      There are places like the New Forest where you are going to meet cows, sheep and so on while driving around. Its not a good idea to hit them but they're easy enough to avoid if you're aware they're about and you are not driving too fast.

      Having livestock loose on a main road is just a traffic hazard. You slow traffic until the hazard is cleared.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Megaphone

    OK I'll bite...

    Why twenty cops?

    Well here is the reason, pretty bleeding obvious when you actually read the linked article:

    "...closing roads in a bid to keep the animals off the busy A1058 Coast Road."

    Next I'll be reading the Daily Star for less sensationalist headlines.

    1. Sureo

      Re: OK I'll bite...

      Why twenty cops? Very simple, it's a training exercise for the other 18 or so who wouldn't otherwise get to see this kind of thing.

  7. TheFinn

    "...are still subject to recovery by the owners."

    Please, will you moooove your vehicle.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Now you have done it. Every commentard will be milking this story for dairy related jokes.

      Butter make the most of it, I suppose.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Hope not as most jokes will be udder rubbish

        1. AbelSoul
          Trollface

          Re: most jokes will be udder rubbish

          Yoghurt away with it though.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Adolph Clickbait

        you certainly mooidered that one

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          These jokes make my stomach churn.

          1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

            More senseless police violence

            Black and white lives matter!

            1. Sarah Balfour

              Re: More senseless police violence

              Oh burger off!

  8. jake Silver badge

    Gawd/ess.

    My cows wander off, occasionally, when some idiot (read: "tourist") leaves a gate open. They all get lead home by the neighbors. Cops & guns? For a domestic cow or cows? Especially one that needs milking at 6AM and 6PM? Really?

    And I thought us Yanks were gun-happy.

    The Northumbrian coppers should be ashamed of themselves. They obviously have absolutely zero concept of the jurisdiction they are employed to keep an eye on.

    (Funny thing: Mozilla wants to translate "Northumbrian" to "Humanitarian". ::heh::)

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Holmes

      Gawd/ess.

      But consider that they didn't call in an air strike.

      "Diary strike on my position!"

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Gawd/ess.

        ""Diary strike on my position!""

        I can schedule you in for next week.

    2. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Gawd/ess.

      And I thought us Yanks were gun-happy.

      Not exclusively. There are many gun-happy people all over the world. The difference is, in the UK they have to grab the chance when there's a "rampant" cow around - they can't just shoot people.

      1. PNGuinn
        Mushroom

        Re: Gawd/ess. "And I thought us Yanks were gun-happy"

        Tell that to the Met.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Gawd/ess.

        > in the UK they have to grab the chance when there's a "rampant" cow around - they can't just shoot people.

        What about Brazilian electricians?

    3. Kubla Cant Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Gawd/ess.

      They all get lead home

      I think you mean "led". The Northumbrian cow in the story got lead, but it didn't get home.

      1. P. Lee

        Re: Gawd/ess.

        > They all get lead home

        I wonder who got the magic beans...

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. dc_m

      Re: Gawd/ess.

      That is actually a very good point. If she was a milker surely they just wait.

  9. YetAnotherLocksmith Bronze badge

    Can't think why the cow was stressed

    You'd be stressed with 20 cops pointing guns at you and a helicopter over head.

    1. Antonymous Coward
      Holmes

      Re: Can't think why the cow was stressed

      Exactly what I came (clipboard loaded) to say!..

      "...was in a highly distressed state..."

      Well no shit plod! Was that before of after the marauding mob of armed coppers, up to twenty cars and a helicopter started chasing her about? Under the same circumstances I imagine I'd be "in a highly distressed state" too! Would you shot me? Don't answer that.

      This isn't bloody Los Angeles you know.

  10. adam payne Silver badge

    20 police officers seems a little bit over the top but if the cow had caused a massive pile up on the A1058 then the media would have lined up to criticise them.

    1. Whit.I.Are

      Cows often cause a pile up. I put it on my roses...

  11. Shane8
    Alien

    Guess they were big south park fans

    It was coming right for them!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt6kKhlX8vU

  12. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    The question is...

    Where can we collect the beef, once it's been hung for three weeks?

    1. Flywheel Silver badge

      Re: The question is...

      Ah, we don't do hanging in the UK any more - we just move the perp to better social housing, increase their benefits and buy them a better gaming console.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The question is...

      If they had hung it immediately they would not have had to shoot it.

      Err, wait ..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The question is...

        "If they had hung it immediately they would not have had to shoot it.

        Err, wait .."

        I think you mean "hanged"...

        Convict: Mr. Holmes. Everyone says you're the best. Without you, I'll get hung for this.

        Sherlock: No, no, no, Mr. Bewick. Not at all. "Hanged," yes.

  13. Extra spicey vindaloo
    Joke

    Bovine Freedom

    He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy

    No one suspected he was packing an Uzi

    Cows with guns

    http://www.cowswithguns.com/

  14. M7S
    Joke

    "....but there was not enough room for them to do so"

    Just how big a gun did they have?

    1. DropBear Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: "....but there was not enough room for them to do so"

      Hey, don't knock the poor fuzz! Have you tried to carry THIS up the stairs?!?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: "....but there was not enough room for them to do so"

      A BFG.

      1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

        Re: "....but there was not enough room for them to do so"

        "A BFG"

        A barbecue firing gun?

    3. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: "....but there was not enough room for them to do so"

      Just how big a gun did they have?

      Perhaps they were taking a leaf out of the Norks' book. They needed an anti-aircraft gun to kill a Defence Minister.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Armed response required : code black (and white)

    "Just ask this scientician. He'll tell you that in nature one creature invariably eats another to survive. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about."

  16. Bunbury

    We thought it was going for a gun

    When it was actually just throwing away a stick

  17. codejunky Silver badge

    So

    Do I expect the coppers to tell the gov they are doing a good job at fast response so please no cuts? Or that they were short staffed at other crime scenes and need more money?

    20 cars + copter sounds excessive. As for shooting it I will have to trust they had no other good options available. Although I am sure the cow was scared of the many officers turning up with a beef

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So

      I think they were planning more cuts. I can't see that poor cow stay in one piece for long.

  18. Warm Braw Silver badge

    I'm sure...

    ... the good burgers of North Tyneside were well served by their local police force.

    Just as well it didn't happen in Durham.

    Sounds like time to revamp the old "truncheon meat" gag, though maybe the opportunity has already been lost.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: I'm sure...

      the good burgers of North Tyneside were well served by their local police force

      I saw what you did there..

  19. Valeyard

    coming from ireland,

    here's how we solved it when it would inevitably happen every few weeks:

    open nearest gate, wave arms, close gate

    farmers will check surrounding fields and all know each other, cows are tagged too

    how many thousands of pounds did this cost? i'd have done it for a pint and the cow'd be fine after

    1. David_H

      Re: coming from ireland,

      And in most of the rest of the sane world!

      I expect most of the coppers had only ever seen a cow on the television before.

      Disclaimer: 40 years ago the kids in my village always got 10p for helping move the Bull Beef cattle through the village - it was a fairly common occurrence. Mind you we also did the stubble burning as well, and burning our own firebreaks as none of us were old enough to drive on the road and use a plough for it!

      1. Whit.I.Are

        Re: coming from ireland,

        At my mum's primary school they used the adjacent field to play rounders - the field with the bull in it. At my dad's school they learned how to drive a rotavator, keep bees and grow tobacco.

      2. theblackhand Silver badge

        Re: coming from ireland, Re:David_H

        You were lucky - we were allowed to plough the fire breaks (quiet roads....) but were never allowed to carry out an unsupervised burn off.

        There's something about a burn off that is very satisfying... Or it could be the barely suppressed arsonist in me....

        1. earl grey Silver badge
          Flame

          Re: coming from ireland, Re:David_H

          That's why the sprog gave me a shirt that said:

          Not Flammable?

          Challenge Accepted

  20. BobRocket

    Shot from on high

    Given that the paramilitary force (formerly known as the Police) only have teflon coated armour piercing full metal jacket ammunition these days (for use in future protest control) they need to shoot from a high vantage point so that when they miss (how many shots were fired ?) the bullet doesn't accidentaly kill someone two miles away (thereby starting a major terrorist incident unbeknownst to the cow killing mob).

    The cow wasn't shot because it was mad, This is the penalty for upsetting the bureaucracy (DEFRA), it had moved fields without having its passport stamped.

  21. Jon Massey
    Headmaster

    Milking?

    I think you'll find that's a beef breed

    1. P. Lee

      Re: Milking?

      (Whoosh!)

      You can kill all the beef breeds you want, but its a sin to kill a milking cow.

  22. Trollslayer Silver badge

    Traffic

    The A1058 is known as the Coast Road and carries a lot of traffic including double decker buses.

    Impact with a cow at 50mph could send a double decker into a ditch at pretty near full speed.

    Add the comments from those who know farming that fences are there to persuade cows to stay in place.

    Not a joke.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Traffic

      Impact with a cow at 50mph could send a double decker into a ditch at pretty near full speed.

      Show me a cow that can do 50 and I'll be impressed.

      Make no misteak you would have to be pretty ribeyed to spot that, I do wonder how long this is going to get milked for.

      1. Bunbury

        Re: Traffic

        @AC "I do wonder how long this is going to get milked for"

        For as long as we're in the MOOOOOOOOOOOd

    2. Agincourt and Crecy!
      Facepalm

      Re: Traffic

      But to get from O'Hanlon Crescent onto the Coast Road, said bovine would had to cross the parkland, a further road and then jump the barriers. However having jumped the barriers, the drop on the other side onto the Coast Road would have left the said bovine on a hatched area rather than the carriageway and given the height of the drop in a non too mobile state. I wouldn't expect to be walking if I jumped the barriers there.

      What was wrong with the 20 squad cars positioning themselves on Malton Gardens between the field and the Coast Road, seems like they could have headed the cow off if they had done that. There is no on ramp to the Coast Road at Chicken Road/Malton Gardens/Station Road, only a very large drop.

  23. R69

    Try getting that sort of response if you report an actual crime being committed

    No bloody chance!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Try getting that sort of response if you report an actual crime being committed

      No bloody chance!

      Just ring back a couple of minutes later saying that it's OK and that you shot the criminal yourself. They'll be there in minutes.

      "You said you shot someone, Sir"

      "You said you had nobody available, constable"

      (yes, old gag but perfectly valid)

      1. codejunky Silver badge

        @AC

        "Just ring back a couple of minutes later saying that it's OK and that you shot the criminal yourself. They'll be there in minutes."

        One of the shops I used to frequent selling firearms and ammunition was broken into one morning but the owner was in the back. After capturing the guy and calling the police for the third time (in 45 minutes) the owner mentioned the contents of the shop he owned. Apparently 2 coppers turned up quickly, on foot, out of breath and in ill fitting uniforms. Most of the officers were on training so these two had been excused, they grabbed the first uniforms they could and had to await a car to pick them up. According to the owner.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @AC

          > Apparently 2 coppers turned up quickly, on foot, out of breath and in ill fitting uniforms.

          Associates of the enterprising early visitor?

  24. pro-logic

    Were the steaks really so high that they needed to shoot the cow?

    Or were the cops milking this situation just to shoot something?

    If I was the owner of the cow I'd be udderly disgusted and cheesed off at the fuzz.

    I swear on a dairy basis you hear about cops using excessive force.

  25. Phuq Witt

    Institutionally Racist Coppers

    How typical that they decided to shoot the Brown Cow!

    [Thanks. The one with a copy of The Guardian in the pocket]

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: Institutionally Racist Coppers

      How Now.....

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Was justified

    They found a handgun just over the fence about fifteen feet from the cow, it must have dropped it while fleeing.

  27. This post has been deleted by its author

  28. Daz555

    They should have recruited a goat to tackle the situation:

    https://www.google.co.uk/?gws_rd=ssl#q=goat+v+cow

  29. hardboiledphil

    Shirley...

    20 police could have managed to stop traffic on a busy road should the cow have gone anywhere near. I suspect they already did slow the traffic down with all the cars/vans parked up with lights on only adding to the rubber necking.

    1. Dr Scrum Master
      IT Angle

      Re: Shirley...

      1 police car per lane will stop traffic on a road.

      1. Pedigree-Pete

        Re: Shirley...

        Rolling Road blocks are routinely done on 3 lane UK motorways with 1 Highways Agency car. No need to wake the Police.

  30. Chris G Silver badge

    Armed response in Northumbria?

    Why do they have really wild ducks up there?

    Oh wait, the cow must have been a mooslim extremist!

    I have helped on horseback to round up semi wild range cattle in Utah, the only guns needed were for rattlesnakes.

    I bet that cow was the first chance the plod had ever had to shoot anything that wasn't paper.

    My mate's 5 year old daughter used to lead his bull (named Bruno) and sit talking to him, perhaps she could do some training courses for them. Bunch o' townies!

    1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Chris G Re: Armed response in Northumbria?

      "Why do they have really wild ducks up there?...." Ah, you must be one of those that swallowed the bullshine that banning handguns somehow made England gun-crime-free. Not at all sorry to mock your ignorance - http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2012/12/11/gun-crime-soars-in-england-where-guns-are-banned-n1464528.

      "......a mooslim extremist....." Oh, that's just so funny! You managed to not only make a joke but portray the local coppers as Islamaphobes, all in one! Why, how clever of you - not. Unfortunately, the area not only has a large number of armed criminals, they also have plenty of loons from all colours and denominations - http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/newcastle-teenager-charged-with-possessing-five-pipe-bombs-and-a-gun-9843034.html.

      "....I have helped on horseback to round up semi wild range cattle in Utah...." Well here's a slight clue for you - cows are not common in Newcastle, almost as uncommon it seems as an ability to comprehend the different circumstances is in Utah.

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Chris G Armed response in Northumbria?

        Matt! next time they loosen the buckles and you go out, you really must think about getting a sense of humour.

        Gun crime is actually worse since the pointless knee jerk reaction/excuse to ban handguns in the UK, now only criminals and trigger happy cowphobic cops have them.

        The circumstances in Utah (in 2000) were after a series of brush and forest fires when a lot of cattle had gone astray, a cow with a calf in the brush IS a very different circumstance from a dairy cow ( used to being handled) in the UK or any other UK cow, but because humans are predators and cows are herbivores it is not too difficult to assert authority over them. Of course shouting with a loudhailer

        " PUT DOWN THE HORNS AND COME QUIETLY AND IT WILL GO EASY FOR YOU" doesn't really cut the mustard with a cow, you have to use it's personal space and control it's direction or just put a headstall and rope on it.

        Sorry for the late reply been busy. By the way I am a Brit kept horses and a couple of cows here but lived in the states for a bit so I do know about British cows as well as the wild and woolly yank beef .

  31. (AMPC) Anonymous and mostly paranoid coward
    IT Angle

    Our neighbors used to keep livestock.

    Our friendly neighborhood farmer (next door) used to keep dairy cattle. The cattle would sometimes escape and frighten passing motorists.

    But I've never seen armed police (with chopper) used to bring them back to pasture (permanently, in this case). Usually it just required some loud shouting and perhaps a stick

    So that must of been one bad-ass Bessie. Or is Northumbria the center of an agricultural war zone within the UK?

  32. Spaceman Spiff

    Truth be told, the cops just wanted to get some target practice on a live target. I hope the Northumbria Police have to pay for the value of the cow!

  33. armyknife

    Modern Britain?

    Keystone Cops .... with guns.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bullocks

    Now they can put the flops up you! I reckon farmers who put male cows in fields with public footpaths through them are trying to get the footpaths disused. I had a herd of bullocks follow me making increasingly brave mock charges about 10 years ago. Eventually I gave up on the footpath and headed for the nearest boundary and climbed over the wall. While more recently I went through a field of full-grown bulls; they didn't charge, just followed me. Ended up debating whether to run when they were so close the sheer size was intimidating. Interesting exercise in not giving off subliminal fear signals.

    About 14 years ago I was riding my motorbike around Dartmoor. Just leaving Manaton I came round a curve to find a full-grown black bull in the middle of the road. Luckily there was enough time and distance to kill the engine (750 Bonneville - loud, frightens large animals!). Reported it then turned the bike round and looked for another way back to the moor.

    I imagine this cow would have bolted before an intramuscular tranquilliser would have slowed it. If it had run onto the road it'd make hitting a deer mild by comparison. And it's not like they took away her prospects...

  35. Gavagai

    Call in the air force - drop a "Daisy Cutter"

  36. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Moderation

    Judging by the picture, they had to chase it to the Alps. It's a wonder they didn't call in the RAF.

  37. Angus Cooke

    Common sense is a declining commodity...

    So some cows have escaped near a busy road - at most, police marksmen in two cars armed with tranquiliser guns. Job done.

    God knows how many armed police, 20 cars, a helicopter and a terrified - soon to be dead - cow. Nice work Mr Plod. I only pray the Northumbria police never have to deal with a madman wielding a machine gun. The exam board marking the papers for some police applicants really need to tighten up QA on the finer colouring-in questions.

  38. stringyfloppy

    On a sidenote, members of the band Pink Floyd were later spotted in the area, looking for something and shouting "Lulubelle! Lulubelle!"

  39. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Joke

    The police had no choice but to shoot...

    They couldn't risk that ol' Bessie was an Al Cowda operative! (/rimshot)

  40. Nash

    Typical

    The Moo Gooders are having a Beef at this.

    They should really stop Milking it.

    it's udderly pathetic

    1. Marketing Hack Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Typical

      Yeah, this thread has quickly degenerated into just another bull session...

  41. The Dude

    Been there, done that

    I hit a cow with my car, in Mexico. Damn thing was sleeping on the road, same colour as asphalt, and stood up right about the same time my headlights reached it. I'm told that cows like sleeping on the highway because asphalt is cosy and warm in the evening. Anyhow, the ABS brakes almost stopped the car in time, but the car bumped the cow, sending it rolling legs-up across the hood (bonnet, for you Brits) and bounced off the windshield.

    My wife was screaming in terror, my daughter was weeping, and my son was reaching for his knife to slice some steaks from the presumed-dead animal. Damn hood (bonnet, for you Brits) still does not open properly and has two good-sized dents from the cow's knees.

    However, the cow slid off the hood (bonnet, for you Brits) onto the ground, stood up, mooed at me and wandered away.

    Cows are tough. Subarus are awesome. Families are odd.

    1. Fink-Nottle

      Re: Been there, done that

      > I hit a cow with my car, in Mexico.

      I had a nearly identical encounter with a cow on a misty morning just outside Qunu (Nelson Mandella's birthplace) in a Hilux with bush bars.

    2. Marketing Hack Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: Been there, done that

      You've got to be careful driving past your headlights on Central American country roads. I've seen mules, dogs and once a herd of goats basking in the residual post-sundown road-top heat.

      The goats were so numerous that we couldn't get past them, and felt obliged to go door-to-door on the few local huts to find out who owned the herd and ask them to help/approve moving them. I gave the guy a couple bucks for getting his herd out of the road, and we went on our way.

      1. Pedigree-Pete
        Happy

        Re: Been there, done that

        Now there's a creative Mexican farming scam.

  42. Howard Hanek
    Terminator

    The Dark Ages

    The enlightened police force didn't have a bovine psychologist available? Or was this just a coverup for some dark, nefarious satanic ritual in which our bovine victim was to be a sacrifice?

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > Milking cow...

    How do they manage that with hooves? Don't you really need thumbs to achieve this feat?

  44. 080

    Dangerous Animal

    "armed police asked to enter his house to shoot the cow from an upstairs window but there was not enough room for them to do so"

    How much room do 20 cow-ering police need?

  45. Anonymous C0ward

    At least it wasn't a Brazilian electrician.

  46. E 2

    If shooting it was bad, perhaps they could have strangled it instead?

  47. sisk Silver badge

    If this had been published on April 1 there's no way I'd ever believe it. As is....I'm still not sure I believe it. 20 cars and a helicopter seems an excessive response to what is, after all, one of the more docile animals you can encounter on a farm. Frankly a big turkey is more dangerous than a cow under most circumstances.

  48. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    How times have changed

    Some 20 years ago I saw a herd of cows slowly, but detirminedly ambling along a grass verge towards a motorway sliproad. I ran to a phone box and dialed 999. A very cross woman on the other end said it wasn't an emergency!

  49. phil dude
    WTF?

    obviously....

    It was a Brazilian cow, that jumped a gate and was wearing a backpack...

    P.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lots of stupid in this thread

    Cows are dangerous animals once angered or scared. That's a lot of weight running at you / running into the path of an oncoming vehicle.

    1 - Farmer could have dealt with it.

    What farmer? No owner identified during the incident.

    2 - Vehicle stopping distance.

    Doesn't matter shit if a cow jumps out ten feet in front of you whilst you're doing 50mph.

    3 - Shooting from height

    Because bullets travel, and keep travelling depending on calibre after passing through the target. "Cop kills cow, bullet keeps going and kills child." - wonderful.

    4 - Oh the horror of a cow being shot

    That'd be a domestic cow bred for milk and eventual slaughter aye? You're right. Much better it gets an often ineffective bolt through the head.

    5 - 20 police on site

    Ever tried herding cattle? It's called a noose and subsequently closing the noose if that's the tactic you're going for.

    Get some facts those of you kicking off.

    1. Valeyard

      Re: Lots of stupid in this thread

      Ever tried herding cattle?

      yes. it'd take 2 of us to herd all our cattle down the road to a field 1/4 mile away and we were 10 years old and waving a stick

    2. sisk Silver badge

      Re: Lots of stupid in this thread

      Ever tried herding cattle?

      Personally? No, but as a kid I watched my grandfather herd dozens of cattle by himself or occasionally with one of my aunts helping him all the time. It doesn't take 20 people to herd three cows. If it did ranches would go out of business trying to pay for all the cowboys.

    3. Dave 15
      Mushroom

      Re: Lots of stupid in this thread

      1... does it matter if the farmer (or perhaps a vet) owned the animal, I am quite sure they could have dealt with it until the real owner was found

      2.... yeah, same applies to a broken down car, children crossing, people on pushbikes, trees... I suppose it would stop the population crisis in the world if we shot everyone who might possibly cause a problem...oh yes, forgot the police are trying this

      3... Yes bullets do go through things but if you are shooting from a height it would go through the cow and into the earth (well, possibly, most likely it would deform on impact with the bone mass of the skull and stay somewhere in the dead cows head). If you shoot parallel to the ground then there really is a chance of it going through and hitting an innocent bystander... however I doubt there were a massive number of school children in the field watching the police shoot the cow... the police don't normally like an audience for this sort of behaviour.

      4... The fact that the bolt is poor as a method of killing is another (important I admit) subject and doesn't mean we want the police wandering around farms all over the country randomly shooting any animal they find in order to save it distress in the slaughter house.

      5... Amazingly I see SINGLE farmers herding large collections of cows (herds :) ) every day... Part of the reason this is successful is they don't use nooses and try hanging on to several tons of running cow. But maybe this is because while farmers have an extraordinary collection of blindspots and blame badgers, foxes and other wildlife for every ill imaginable they actually do know how to handle a cow.

      Personally I like thinking before kicking off, although I admit things like facts are also useful before a really good rant can hit home :)

  51. JustNiz

    Stupid city folk

    Clueles Morons. I'm surprised they didn't call in the TSG to blow it up and protect us poor civilians from it.

    Unless this cow is radically different from every other cow in the world, it was almost certainly just petrified by being alone and surrounded by 20 militaristic wankers with high-vis jackets and a bunch of cars with flashing lights.

    I'm sure it would have been easy to herd away by someone with an actual clue (ideally the cow's farmer) if they'd have just stopped all their activity and given it time and space to calm down.

  52. DLM198

    A friend in the UK sent me this story. As I live near FERGUSON,Missouri this story is satisfying that Police in UK go to excessive force in apprehending a peaceful domestic animal. Maybe they should send some officers to Texas in the USA to learn how to humanely capture a domestic animal. Does the Police supervisors still have their jobs???

  53. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Vigil

    If you're feeling particularly sad... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-32800365

  54. Richard Cranium

    Time to cut police budgets...

    Hourly cost of manpower & 15+ police vehicles plus a 'copter?

    On the other hand I read that one escapee cow jumped over the moon, they'll need a bigger budget to tackle that one.

    Other responses seem split - broadly speaking those with agricultural experience think the cops were grossly over-reacting while the townies seem happy with a bigger show of force than for a mad-axeman on the loose. I'm guessing it was a nice sunny day, the cops were getting bored sat at their desks or, heaven forbid, dealing with crime and fancied an excuse to get out and wave their guns around.

  55. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Robocop

    I'd hate to see what this lot would manage to do if let loose in India. It'd be a massacre.

    Obviously common sense and patience are becoming scarce commodities, especially in law enforcement.

    1. Matt Bryant Silver badge

      Re: Dan 55 Re: Robocop

      "I'd hate to see what this lot would manage to do if let loose in India....." Big difference - cows are considered holy symbols of life by Hindus and therefore often allowed to wander just about freely. This does not stop Indian traffic from often having accidents with cows. It also does not stop the cows eating rubbish from the gutters or bins, something a farmer would be prosecuted for as neglect in the UK.

      "....Obviously common sense and patience are becoming scarce commodities, especially in law enforcement." So in your rush to post you missed the bit in the article that said two of the three cows were recovered by the police without a problem? It was just that the third was in such close proximity to the A-road that there was a considerable risk that even just approaching the cow could drive it into traffic.

      The following is a report of a very lucky guy that experienced a cow rolling up the bonnet of a smaller car at only 45mph - http://www.car-accidents.com/pages/accident_story/10-15-03.html

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: Dan 55 Robocop

        Since when have the police or highway agency been reticent in closing an A road? And suddenly now they need to bring out 20 armed police and a helicopter to gun down a cow. I hope the farmer's been reimbursed market value.

        1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          FAIL

          Re: Dan 55 Robocop

          "Since when have the police or highway agency been reticent in closing an A road?...." Yeah, and that happens in seconds....? Oh, no, it doesn't, which would have given the cow plenty of time to cause an accident. FAIL!

          1. Dave 15

            Re: Dan 55 Robocop

            The police close roads because someone broke a light bulb, they do it pretty quickly, far quicker than tramping from local house to local house looking for a suitable bedroom to tramp their muddy boots through before they litter the floor with tons of discarded cartridge cases.

            You can't defend the police here, it was a stupid thing they did... in keeping with their general behaviour

  56. Dave 15
    Flame

    Precisely why

    This is precisely why we should remove all firearms from the police, they have neither the intelligence nor the ability to ask those who do have the brains what to do in any circumstance. I really give up on the country where we have police of this low a standard able to tot guns and take life because they don't have the brains to find a farmer or vet to cope with a cow who is chewing the cud.

    Personally I would actually go further and disband the British police services altogether - probably just lock the lot of them up... what with shooting people on tube trains, kettling pregnant mothers who dare to protest and killing newspaper salesmen I think the country would be safer without them. It would also rid the motorist of one form of parasitic growth and free us of worry about speed cameras and spying all over our road network (except of course the areas around our schools which obviously need no speed control or similar)

  57. hatti

    El Reg cow specialist division

    They shouldn't have bothered with the police, just let a load of el Reg commentards have a go at Daisy, they'll milk it to death.

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