back to article VOTERS! This Election: Vote #Smart, Vote #Digital

Millions of Britons will go to the polls tomorrow for (we hope) the last ever analogue General Election. Several million more, many of whom share the same names and live at a surprisingly small number of addresses in inner-city constituencies, have already voted. I hope you will choose wisely tomorrow. As a successful venture …

  1. adnim Silver badge
    Stop

    People who do not want

    to be politicians and/or MP's are the only true personalties suitable for the task.

    1. edge_e
      Thumb Up

      Re: People who do not want

      Douglas Adams had a lot to say about politics, My favourite is this

      https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/162557-it-comes-from-a-very-ancient-democracy-you-see-you

  2. DanDanDan

    How do we stop the loons...

    ... who think banning encryption has even a morsel of sense?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Why encrypt?

      Who are you trying to prevent from snooping your email, if not the government?

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Rich 11 Silver badge

      HMRC also do not have a public email address for correspondence and currently have an 8 week backlog of post, confirmed by their call centre manager last week.

      That's because they've sacked almost all of their mailroom staff to meet efficiency savings targets, having heard that post is on the way out because we're all using this new-fangled email thingy now...

    3. DocJames

      www.theyworkforyou.com

      Make your MP your mailman (or mailwoman). They don't have anything on at the moment.

    4. TheOtherHobbes

      >what I want are working email addresses for government departments

      Er - why do you think they want to get email from you?

  4. lawndart

    says

    Only 24 hours to save the Gov Digital Service and here's me without Flash installed.

  5. The First Dave

    Would have been funny if it wasn't true...

  6. xpz393

    "Property empires like The Trampery and Second Home were unimaginable five years ago. Lulu is now a verb" -

    Are these London things?

    1. Alister Silver badge

      Lulu is now a verb...

      Please give an example sentence, utilising "Lulu" as a verb...

      "Oops, I just Lulu'd myself"

      "I'm going to Lulu you in a minute"

      1. wolfetone Silver badge
        Coat

        "Lulu is looking good for an old bird. I wonder could I make her sing 'Shout' if I could give her one up her Lulu"

        English GCSE FTW!!!!

      2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Please give an example sentence, utilising "Lulu" as a verb...

        Is it OK if I merely use "Lulu" as a verb? Utilizing makes me dizzy.

        Typical usage: "I just Lulu'd my Holmes/Moriarty slashfic. CC-BY-SA'd the cover from DeviantArt."

  7. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge

    "Bong! Millions of Britons will go to the polls tomorrow for (we hope) the last ever analogue General Election. Several million more, many of whom share the same names and live at a surprisingly small number of addresses in inner-city constituencies, have already voted."

    While I appreciate your comment about the almost certain electoral fraud, show me an e system that can't at least be validated (btw - we know about much of the fraud because it is traceable, it's just that police/government are not prepared to slam down on these people. Reminds me of labour and conservative politicians conveniently ignoring threats to Rushdie amongst other people).

  8. the spectacularly refined chap

    Lottie Dexter

    How can you sum up the government's acheivements without mentioning her? Getting an expert of such world renown to head up a stunning success like the Year of Code was a stroke of genius.

    1. Fink-Nottle

      Re: Lottie Dexter

      While Ms. Dexter's commitment to learn code in a year was couragous, I'm sure she would be the first person to acknowledge the inspirational example of the Honourable Member for Devizes.

  9. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Trollface

    Or our favourite MiLF

    Martha...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Or our favourite MiLF

      I.. feel.. a.. little.. sick..

      ...baaarf....

      Self-publicists make me feel ill

  10. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Baffled!

    I understood very little of that article, could somebody please post the cipher.

    I did remind me of Aleister Crowleys works though...

  11. tfewster Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Yes, I remember those days...

    "Just think back to the dark days of the Noughties when you could find government publications easily by using Google, and sites were designed by elitists – civil servants who knew what people actually wanted to find and do."

    But apparently my fond memories of those days are just because I don't "get" the importance of UX, form over function and a fabulous infrastructure. Content? Wazzat den?

    Full disclosure: As a Unix guy, I frequently get sent job ads for UX roles. From what it's seen, my treacherous subconscious keeps muttering "How hard can it be?". theonion.com is the latest casualty in the UX offensive, and I'm losing the will to keep using the internet.

    1. edge_e
      Gimp

      Re: Yes, I remember those days...

      According to Wikipedia

      User experience design (UXD or UED) is the process of enhancing user satisfaction by improving the usability, accessibility, and pleasure provided in the interaction between the user and the product

      I therefore postulate that the people in UX roles are sadomasochists.

  12. HildyJ
    Happy

    The British election in seven panels

    https://xkcd.com/1521/

  13. Captain DaFt

    OK, read the article

    Am now awaiting amanfromMars input so I can figure out what the Hell it was about.

    1. ChrisBedford

      Re: OK, read the article

      Yeah, same here

      I at least have the excuse that I live in South Africa and the column was (apparently) deeply rooted in Brit pop culture. But I normally can at least understand the gist of El Reg articles, whereas this is just... complete gobbledegook.

      Except for that reference to Russell Brand being the shadow Chancellor, I thought that was mildly amusing.

  14. James Wheeler

    Priapic half-man / half-goat Russell Brand!

    That earned an actual laugh out loud. Thanks, Lord Bong.

  15. D Moss Esq

    More ¡Bong! for our $buck$

    A public service consultant writes:

    The inescapable DNA of a digitally-enabled public service model is a set of clean, agreed, and common capabilities, distilled and evolved from the currently duplicated and siloed functions, processes, roles and even organisations that exist across government.

    Why can't we have more like that in ¿ElReg?

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