back to article SECRET PROTOTYPE iPAD 'stolen from RANDY Apple employee'

A "test model" iPad was stolen this month from a lonely-heart in his 20s, who is thought to be an Apple worker. The unnamed man had responded to a sex ad online – and got more than he bargained for. The poor bloke answered an advert from Katherine Stump, 20, and later met up with her and her pal Alexander Nejat, 24, two blocks …

  1. ratfox Silver badge
    Joke

    Apple's stratagems to "leak" prototypes of their upcoming devices are getting more and more complex.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    good enough

    I'd leak for her

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: good enough

      Eh?

      I reckon she's a six pinter and a brown bag affair. The 'brows are those of a witch, admittedly, a witch with badly asymmetric tendencies. And a lower lip piercing - won't that interfere with the wireless charging?

      Still, if helps lumberjackie nerds get jiggy, so be it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: good enough

        Piercing? Or cold sore? One's about as attractive as the other in my book...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'd leak for her

      What about him though?

      Seems like they come as a package and he sounds a right charmer:

      prior convictions for child abuse and assault with a deadly weapon.

      Aherm.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    5 days ?!?!??!

    "Police interviewed the victim, who reported the theft five days later..."

    Only called the cops 5 days later? Me thinks the victim must have also been robbed of something else he didn't want the cops (& Apple) to know about.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

      > also been robbed of something else he didn't want the cops (& Apple) to know about

      ...like his pride? It's quite common for people not to report crimes when they feel ashamed due to the circumstances around them. Don't blame the victim, even by snide implication.

    2. DougS Silver badge

      Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

      The "something he didn't want Apple to know" is probably the prototype. He may be worried that he no longer participates in testing prototypes in the future given how this theft was pretty much his own fault.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

        He deserves it...I think he's lying.

        So you take multiple electronic devices and $7,500 in cash to meet 1 hooker? I'm guessing he was going to make a porn with her, things went side ways, then he panicked because he was committing an illegal activity or didn't want his identity associated with pornography. So for 5 days he hunts around town trying to get a wireless connection to the devices so he can log in and get his work back but also to delete some questionable content. However, he fails in that attempt and eventually his company has asked 1 too many times "Where is your BYOD's?" and he spills the most plausible truth. He has painted the couple as thieves, but he had to paint himself into a corner to do it The happy ending is that in the end, they will all be as thick as thieves.

        Also, a "test" model does not mean a prototype, it could be a test model of a generation 1. Test models are generally a retail model with debug and a slightly different firmware.

        1. Mark 85 Silver badge

          Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

          I can definitely go along with theory. There's way too many "it is claimed" and "alleges" in this story. Plus there's 5 day wait. Given that the laptop hasn't turned up yet it also bit on the suspicious side.

        2. MrDamage
          Headmaster

          Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

          @MyBackDoor;

          Try re-reading the actual article.

          "The poor bloke answered an advert from Katherine Stump, 20, and later met up with her and a male friend Alexander Nejat, 24, two blocks from his house in Apple's hometown of Cupertino, California, police say.

          They drove to his home, and once inside, Stump allegedly pulled a knife on the man. Nejat also pepper-sprayed him in the face, it is claimed."

          It was after they got to his house, that the iPad, cash and prescription drugs were stolen. Not before, not from his car/wallet/backpack.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

            "It was after they got to his house, that the iPad, cash and prescription drugs were stolen. Not before, not from his car/wallet/backpack."

            I know that. Try reading the article again and put the pieces together. Maybe if you're picking up a hooker and her pimp, then $7,500 might mean more than a blow. Who said he didn't have the money on him and it wasn't the reason he was targeted?

        3. James O'Shea Silver badge

          Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

          "I'm guessing he was going to make a porn with her, things went side ways, then he panicked because he was committing an illegal activity or didn't want his identity associated with pornography."

          1 They took him back to his house (that's why they're charged with kidnapping) and stole stuff from there. The odds are good that he didn't take $7500 or the various pieces of electronics with him.

          2 it's not illegal to 'make a porn'. They're in Kalifonicatia. Cupertino ain't that far from Porn Valley. (Look it up.)

          3 Do you _really_ think that someone who's 'making a porn' deserves to be robbed and pepper-sprayed? Really?

          1. Vic

            Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

            Do you _really_ think that someone who's 'making a porn' deserves to be robbed and pepper-sprayed?

            Some of them do. The production values can be *awful*...

            Vic.

        4. rciafardone

          Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

          Reading Skills FAIL.

          They went to his apartment to sack it.

    3. rototype

      Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

      Possibly a couple of reasons - 1) allegedly they dropped him 'over a mile from his home' - if he's an average Merkin geek it could have taken a while for him to i-wheeze his way back home (if he remembered the i-route at all, after all he wouldn't have his i-sat nav any more). 2) if all his i-gadgets were stolen that'd mean (horror of horrors) he'd have to use an ANALOGUE telephone - where's the instruction manual? - Maybe he waited until he got a replacement i-device to phone them on?

    4. John Bailey

      Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

      "Only called the cops 5 days later? Me thinks the victim must have also been robbed of something else he didn't want the cops (& Apple) to know about."

      Nah.. He was using the GPS on his iPhone, and it took him 5 days to get back to civilisation. After being dumped a mile from his home.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: 5 days ?!?!??!

        Who said he didn't have the money on him and it wasn't the reason he was targeted?

        I dunno.

        Back to MumsNet with you.

  4. Spaceman Spiff

    Not the first time.

    This isn't the first time that an Apple employee has "let the dog out of the house"... It isn't the end of the world!

  5. Nigel The Pigeon

    Legalise Prostitution

    Then it will be less of a taboo and everyone involved can be a little bit safer on both sides.

    1. Cliff

      Re: Legalise Prostitution

      I was about to comment similarly - if you take the seedy out of sex work, you reduce this kind of parasitic crime.

      But also $7500 CASH?

      1. mrvco

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        "Only criminals keep $7500 in cash" -The War on Cash

      2. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        "But also $7500 CASH?"

        I'm assuming that a lot of that was intended for "Services to be Rendered", but that's an awful lot for a prostitute off of a self-produced ad rather than from an agency... If you're planning on spending that kind of cash, there are more than a few agencies that will cater to pretty much any desire and properly vet both client and 'service provider'

      3. e_is_real_i_isnt

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        He made a purchase earlier in the day and had only a $10,000 bill. So they broke it and the $7,500 was the change. Happens all the time, usually on a smaller scale.

      4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        But also $7500 CASH?

        He was ready for QE4!

    2. P. Lee Silver badge

      Re: Legalise Prostitution

      >Then it will be less of a taboo and everyone involved can be a little bit safer on both sides.

      Buying sex involves paying someone to pretend to like you. Did the customer expect honesty and integrity?

      Its safer not use prostitutes. Also, in case anyone is unsure, it is safer not to use drugs (and I use the term loosely) recreationally, than to use drugs (legalised or otherwise). Its also safer not to play with guns and indeed not to have a gun if you are in the presence of someone how has a gun and is hostile, since the largest threats get neutralised first.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Fazal Majid

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        I have far more faith in the integrity of the average prostitute than that of the average banker, and I am probably not the only one. Yet people use the banking system every day.

        1. Swarthy Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: Legalise Prostitution

          I have far more faith in the integrity of the average prostitute than that of the average banker, and I am probably not the only one. Yet people use the banking system every day.
          What's the difference between a prostitute and a banker?

          A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.

      3. Nigel The Pigeon

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        "Buying sex involves paying someone to pretend to like you."

        No it doesnt. It involves paying someone having sex with you. Many people would pay extra for someone to pretend *not* to like you.

        "Its safer not use prostitutes."

        At the moment, Yes... because it is illegal and unregulated...

      4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Legalise Prostitution

        Buying sex involves paying someone to pretend to like you.

        Woah there grasshopper.

        1. x 7

          Re: Legalise Prostitution

          The local Thai massage parlour claims that the girls aren't selling sex - they're selling companionship.

          Whatever else happens is freely given between consenting adults and isn't part of the transaction.

          So get out of your head any idea of paying for sex. It never happens

  6. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obligatory

    iRobbed

    iPoke (LOL!)

  8. adam payne Silver badge

    That's certainly embarrassing for him and I bet his boss had some choice words for him.

  9. TonyJ Silver badge

    Apart from the bit where the prototype was nicked why should Apple care what their employees do in their own time if it isn't bringing their company into disrepute? Indeed, nowhere in the article does it suggest that they do care.

    Seeing a very daily-mail'esque pattern on here the last few days. So far we appear to need protecting from sex and tattoos. What's next?

    By the way - where does it say he was paying her? I know the linked article says they set up such adverts but the reg article just says he responded to a sex advert.

    I'm actually in favour of legalising prostitution - that way the women involved can be adequalty protected, as can the customers. And the government can tax them on their 'hole earnings' <sorry>

    1. Britt

      It would also go some way to preventing these honeytrap situations.

    2. The First Dave Silver badge

      The way I read it, there was actually a hint that the advert had been of the request type, possibly "Couple looking for threesome"

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ruined erection means iPad defection!

    Pepper spray all over leads to aborted leg-over!

    Apple twat's love life goes crap after flashing sack in hooker's flat!

    I'm spent. Goodbye.

    1. ravenviz
      Coat

      Re: Ruined erection means iPad defection!

      Affray spray delays Apple chap's ipad mishap slap.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rich Guy

    7500 cash at home... oh yes, rich apple chap, just a little spending money kept around.

    Rx drugs? Adderal, to help concentrate with the high paying Silicon Valley job. Everyone does it, tell the shrink you can't concentrate, pay the 150 office visit bill for the 10 minutes you are there, next stop the pharmacy to pick up the prescription. Bonus points if one schedules a same day visit to a physician and scores Oxycodone Rx to help recover from those all night iThing testing sessions. (what exactly do you think the thieves are going to steal anyway? And what Rx do you think a 20 something Silicon Valley guy is going to have around? Adderal, Ambien, Oxycodone, cannabis, Viagra, ...)

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019