back to article Hawking hologram comforts One Direction fans with Zayny parallel universe claim

It turns out there's more than one direction One Direction could be heading in, after megaboffin Stephen Hawking comforted fans with the claim that Zayn Malik may still be in the band in a parallel universe. The theoretical physics professor was beamed via hologram from Cambridge, England to the Sydney Opera House in Oz to …

  1. Paul Dx
    Thumb Up

    And on the flip side

    ... there are millions of parallel universes were One Direction have never existed.

    How do I get there ?

    1. MrXavia

      Re: And on the flip side

      Even better, there will be universes where no one has heard of Justine Bieber!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: And on the flip side

        Justin Who?

        1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: And on the flip side

          Justing Who?

          That would be a regeneration too far...

        2. Graham Marsden
          Headmaster

          @AC - Re: And on the flip side

          > Justin Who?

          The fact that you corrected the typo of "Justine" unfortunately proves that you *have* (regrettably) heard of him!

          1. Simon Harris Silver badge

            Re: @AC - And on the flip side

            ... corrected the typo of "Justine"...

            Maybe there are parallel universes where he turned out to be a girl.

  2. smartypants

    Criminal Hawking Multiverse?

    What if some evil people have commandeered our beloved megaboffin for their own financial gain? This one-direction thing shirley could be evidence.

    Perhaps his image and synthetic voice being are being sold for a fee to this or that stunt or conference? Perhaps he's appearing right this moment to different groups of people, saying different things, whilst the real Steven Hawking is sitting at home totally oblivious to it all, sucking a cup of tea and watching Only Connect.

    In short, is there perhaps a multiverse of criminally-directed Steven Hawking appearances?

    1. Little Mouse

      Re: Criminal Hawking Multiverse?

      You can always tell the evil ones apart because the eyes glow red.

      (Or they sport a really dodgy 'tash - <cough!> Evil Michael Knight <cough!>)

  3. John G Imrie Silver badge

    Steven Hawkins greatest hit

    is still running over Dr. Brian Cox whilst sinning the Galaxy Song

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTpBWhmamWo

    1. DropBear Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Steven Hawkins greatest hit

      "running over Dr. Brian Cox whilst sinning"

      ...need mind bleach, stat! I SAID STAT!

      1. John G Imrie Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Steven Hawkins greatest hit

        OOPS. Stupid auto correct + dyslexia = unintentional comedy.

  4. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    It is of course possible to create your own custom universe in your office, so you can research stories in the daytime, and still go to parties in the evening.

    Where I read that? Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy of course

    OK, so I would like one universe to go, with extra Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox, but hold the One Direction, Justin Bieber, and the entire Kardashian clan

  5. Jedit
    Coat

    1D is "One Direction"?

    Good grief, I thought it was a self-referential joke and the band was called One Dimension.

  6. hi_robb

    Hmm

    The last time the wife asked me to buy her a One Direction ticket I promptly did...

    To Australia.

  7. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Euler angles.

    If the direction of 1 Direction in this universe is defined by a different set of Euler angles to the direction of 1 Direction in another universe, can those two universes truly be described as Parallel Universes?

    Which direction is the 1 Direction anyway? Does anybody know? Does anybody care?

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Re: Euler angles.

      Which direction is the 1 Direction anyway? Does anybody know? Does anybody care?

      With that lot and music, definitely backwards...

  8. 2+2=5 Silver badge
    Boffin

    Conundrum

    Is there a parallel universe that has no parallel universes?

    1. John G Imrie Silver badge

      Re: Conundrum

      If there is a Universe in which parallel lines meet, is it then parallel to all other universes?

      1. TitterYeNot

        Re: Conundrum

        "Is there a parallel universe that has no parallel universes?"

        Yes. And No.

        "If there is a Universe in which parallel lines meet, is it then parallel to all other universes?"

        Yes. It's called the Total Perspective Vortex. But it's still smaller than Justin Bieber's ego.

  9. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Not the only way, but certainly one way, you negative person you.

  10. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Our universe...

    We get the one where Stephen Hawking has a sense of humor (humour). In a different one, he ripped the questioner a new one about wasting his time on inconsequential crap. But if it encourages one person to go into physics that's good. Yeah... stupid motivation but whatever motivates your boat and all that.

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