back to article Surface Pro 3 update has so much new stuff for sysadmins, we can't fit it all in one headline

Microsoft has released a significant new firmware update for Surface Pro 3 fondleslabs, the second to arrive this month. As explained in a blog post by Redmond's JC Hornbeck, the latest update to the Surface Pro 3's Unified Extensible Firmware Interface (UEFI) adds new features for enterprise customers but only minor …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    I read the strap line of the Microsoft ad above this article as 'this cloud turns data into excrement', and I was amazed that Microsoft was finally being 100% honest in an advert about Azure. But instead it was 'this cloud turns data into excitement.'

    I didn't get it, I didn't click. Congratulations to the marketing bozo who came up with that one.

    Now that's off my chest, I'll try and find some time to read the actual article.

    1. JonP
      Pint

      Annoyingly this article appears to have been filed under Verity Stob, and yet there wasn't a single mention of Delphi in the entire piece. There was a touch of surrealism, but not really enough.

      I demand a refund etc.

    2. Bob Vistakin
      Facepalm

      I did exactly the same too!

      But back to this tablet firmware update. It seems Microsoft are all lovey-dovey these days in their desperation to get others to run their software, so does this tablet hardware support a proper firmware upgrade, i.e. to Android, and more to the point are they as lovey-dovey when it's done this way round?

    3. tony2heads
      Trollface

      @Skydweller

      I am sure that 'excitement' was a typo for the correct 'excrement'

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Microsoft turns everything it touches into excrement - look at whats it doing to the perfectly fine hardware in this tablet.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        It's uncanny how many times the word "excrement" appears in the comments of an article about microsoft.

        1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

          "It's uncanny how many times the word "excrement" appears in the comments of an article about microsoft."

          Well, shit...

    5. Disko
      Mushroom

      thanks for the chuckle, the association between airflow, rotation and manure is always an evocative one.

  2. Nick L

    Plus an install progress bar...

    Must admit I've been a little nervous updating firmware on my SP3, but this time around the boot time installer now shows a progress bar under the Surface logo. This is good for my nerves.

  3. Woza
    FAIL

    Where's the Stob?

    I was promised the Stob, damnit.

  4. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Trollface

    All under-the-hood improvements too numerous to mention

    NSA lights out backdoor finally included in the EFI.

    1. GitMeMyShootinIrons
      Pint

      Re: All under-the-hood improvements too numerous to mention

      Microsoft playing catchup with <insert_vendor> then. Now where did I put my tin foil hat....

      Beer, because it's Friday.

  5. Peter Galbavy
    Trollface

    "adds an interface that will allow admins to configure UEFI settings remotely"

    I can see no possible way in which this will end badly. At all.

    1. Afernie
      Meh

      So..

      Would the way in which it would end badly be *because* of it's addition to the existing and extremely widespread technology allowing people to do this already on other devices (such as Intel AMT), in *spite* of of it's addition to said technology, or is this the usual 'because, Microsoft' crap?

      Just wondering.

  6. big_D Silver badge

    2 of ours

    wouldn't restart this morning.

    My SP3 was fine, but two other users claimed the SP3 wouldn't restart (hard reset worked).

  7. VooDooMonkey

    Keep going MS, you've almost got it ready for the enterprise! A few more tweaks and a rethink on the price and we can start pushing our users away from there stupid iOS infatuation.

    1. big_D Silver badge

      Our users have been swapping from iPads + laptops to Surface Pro 3s...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Push down.

    Do I detect that Microsoft have given up trying to sell this to users, and now just targeting decision makers on what turds to force upon people...

    That's not going to end well.

  9. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "Along with these new enterprise features..."

    Which will delight the evil scum who will rush to take them over and screw basic users out of their hardware with the promise to stop the malware or give a decrypt code in exchange for money.

    The "enterprise features" have already been hijacked by malware to block a user from accessing his desktop and doing anything but restarting his machine.

    I'm glad to know that Microsoft is giving yet more tools for evil hackers to push more misery on unsuspecting users. When the hardware is locked down without any means of loading an anti-virus from USB or digital media - not to mention the Internet itself, what is Microsoft going to do ? Refund ?

    Don't think so.

    And don't try to explain that this is "Pro" stuff and will not be sold to end users. I know plenty of people with Win 7 Professional on their home PCs.

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