back to article Apple Watch is like an invasive weed says Gartner

Analyst outfit Gartner has likened the Apple Watch to the invasive Kudzu vine, an Asian plant that has become a pest around the world. Kudzu's survival strategy, says analyst Robert Hetu, relies on its ability to find deep water with carbohydrate-rich roots and a habit of growing vines and leaves in triplicate to give it …

  1. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    I don't know if Hetu is being insulting or complimentary but the analogy gave me a laugh. The way and the method that they're growing is a wonderful comparison but the choice of Kudzu.....

  2. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    WTF?

    ...tapping consumers' precious music collections?

    I buy music from iTunes because AAC sounds good and the files work on non-Apple devices. I'd buy even more if I didn't need to run that steaming pile of iTunes.

    I'd say Apple is attempting lock-in by holding your data hostage to the platform: proprietary file sharing, proprietary filesystem, proprietary RPC, hidden user data, iCloud, patent trolling, and integration of Apple apps into the OS. It's the 1990s all over again. Analysts will predict never-ending growth due to lock-in and then one day customers will stop putting up with it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: ...tapping consumers' precious music collections?

      "I buy music from iTunes because AAC sounds good and the files work on non-Apple devices"

      No they don't. Most devices play MP3s. Not so many play AAC. Particularly, say car radios, TVs, etc.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: ...tapping consumers' precious music collections?

        AAC has been commonplace for quite some time. Even my old Sony portable music player will happily play AAC. Cars these days generally link to your phone via bluetooth and hence will play anything your phone can.

      2. gnasher729 Silver badge

        Re: ...tapping consumers' precious music collections?

        "No they don't. Most devices play MP3s. Not so many play AAC. Particularly, say car radios, TVs, etc."

        Ten years ago I tried with my cheap DVD player. Burnt about 90 CDs worth of music in AAC format on a DVD, put it into the DVD player, it displayed all the albums on my TV and just played them.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gartner goes poetic

    Why do we care about Gartner these days? Maybe they should publish poems rather than portents.

  4. Anomalous Cowshed

    Did you see that picture?

    That plant is really ugly and scary.

    Exterminate!

    1. Stuart Halliday

      Re: Did you see that picture?

      Looks like a Toad. So not a plant at all.

      1. Little Mouse

        Re: Did you see that picture?

        Well duh - what's all that green stuff in the background?

        The lovely toad is just a bonus.

  5. Bloodbeastterror

    "Indispensable"...?

    *I*'ve lived without any Apple products so far and I don't believe my life is any the poorer for it. My wallet isn't either.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Indispensable"...?

      The belief is strong in this one Obi. He also has a sentient wallet.

      1. Alien8n Silver badge

        Re: "Indispensable"...?

        You can get sapient pear wood wallets? Does it come with little legs to follow you around when you leave it in the taxi?

        1. MrDamage

          Enquiring minds want to know....

          Is your money crisp, fresh, and smell faintly of lavender when you remove it from a sapient pearwood wallet?

          And more to the point, does it eat wannabee muggers like Luggage would?

  6. James 51 Silver badge

    There are ways of stripping the DRM out of itunes purchases so you just get that nasty taste when you buy your stuff and you can use it as you please later.

    Apple products are just too expensive for them to completely dominate the industry but that won't stop them from spooking a lot of players.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      crApple

      Right - so I have multiple PCs, I want to sync my music collection between them and all my mobile devices. Never a problem with say a Zune. With a crApple device once you connect to another PC it wants to wipe the device!

      1. gnasher729 Silver badge

        Re: crApple

        What is a crApple? Never heard of it. Is it a new Samsung product trying to imitate Apple but failing?

    2. Frank Bough

      Re:

      2007 called, it wants its anti-Apple FUD back.

    3. gnasher729 Silver badge

      "There are ways of stripping the DRM out of itunes purchases so you just get that nasty taste when you buy your stuff and you can use it as you please later."

      There is no DRM in any music purchases from iTunes. Hasn't been for many years. Would never have been in there if the music industry had listened to Steve Jobs.

  7. werdsmith Silver badge

    Apple Watch

    The Pebble folks tweeted to say that orders for the new Pebble Time watch doubled following the Apple iWatch announcement. Partly due to people disappointed with the Apple watch, and had been holding off whilst waiting to see what Apple came up with.

    1. Gordon 10 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Apple Watch

      Pebble have got the power/functionality balance right imo.

      Unless/until other manufacturers start shipping the higher powered smart watches with induction charging built in Im not really interested in a watch that lasts a tiny fraction of a week.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Apple Watch

        >Pebble have got the power/functionality balance right imo.

        Exactly. There are few different sweet spots on that power Vs function graph (Casio and Citizen at one end, Apple at the other, and Pebble sitting in the middle), and people will have their own preferences. (Mine would be a conventional looking analogue watch with a monochrome dot matrix display behind the hands, invisible when not in use... much like Martian Smartwatches*)

        With regards to the article, the 'ecosystem' that the Apple Watch is a part of is contactless payment. It's up against banks, Google, retailers and mobile operators, depending upon the territory. Apple's system looks to be the best for the consumer (doesn't collect purchase history as the retailers, banks and Google would so dearly like to), its only significant downside is that one must own an iPhone to use it.

        *I just learnt about them today. Price point of just over £100, two day battery life, vibration notifications, unobtrusive dot matrix display behind analogue hands, iOS and Android, mic and speaker for Siri / Google Now integration. They have partnered with an existing fashion watch brand - 'Guess' - which strikes me as a sensible enough move; make an unobtrusive module and let let experienced watch brands take care of the industrial design and marketing. http://www.martianwatches.com

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do people actually get paid to come up with this shit?

    How can I sign up to ride this gravy train??

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Do people actually get paid to come up with this shit?

      You need a stomach strong enough to write that kind of buzzword laden nonsense without vomiting up your last vestiges of self respect. It also helps if you have no soul, but they can help you remove that pointless frippery if necessary.

    2. kmac499

      Re: Do people actually get paid to come up with this shit?

      Follow obvious trends; Add a touch of management bullshit terms, Give the basic version away free and sell the 'inciteful' full version to people with more of other peoples money than sense.

      But they screwed up with this one. I suspect they got too close to the fabled reality distortion screen.

      Apple did not add touch screens to phones, I had a Sony Ericsson p800 with touch screen, email and handwriting recognition five years before the iPhone.

      harumph....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Do people actually get paid to come up with this shit?

        Yeah yeah yeah, and I wanted a Sony Clie (again, Palm-based) with colour screen and multimedia playback, QWERTY keyboard in a clamshell design with pivoting camera. Shame Sony were still faffing around with proprietary memory cards and music formats.

        No one said Apple did invent touchscreen phones, merely that their implementation gave them an edge in the market. LG were first to market with a capacitive touchscreen phone, but it had buggy software, patchy Java and MP3 support, a proprietary OS and headphone socket and no virtual QWERTY keyboard. Remember that Palm and Symbian - for which 3rd party applications were available - were designed for hardware without much grunt, and the iPhone had to sacrifice features (3G) to get a battery life even approaching adequate).

  9. Truth4u

    Apple Pay

    Apple Pay is where you Pay Apple to keep your own mouth shut.

    Nice.

  10. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Meh

    Am I missing out?

    I don't have a smart anything, but somehow seem to survive.

    P.S.

    I've even got a bit of money in the bank.

  11. Tikimon Silver badge
    Devil

    Apple adoption in our workplace - Manager Bling Effect, not features

    Apple products did not invade my workplace because of their game-changing features. They did so because our non-technical managers saw other companies' managers using shiny Apple tablets and phones. Their desire to have one too was purely visceral, based on bling and shiny, not features.

    It backfired for Apple in the long run. Itunes bugs and lock-in drove them all insane, and were a large part of the decision to select Galaxy S4s for company-issue. Having had Apple devices themselves, the managers didn't want to inflict them on our staff. Price was not a factor, our IT shop is well funded.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apple adoption in our workplace - Manager Bling Effect, not features

      Samsung s4! We just got handed MS lumias. But as phones and email devices they work great.

  12. NotTellinYou

    Apple is doomed!

  13. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  14. PAT MCCLUNG

    Before it kills again

    We need to stop this monster Apple, before it kills again. Enormous harm done to the free Internet and the common infrastructure of human freedom, open software, configurable, maintainable hardware. If you can't open it, look at it, fix it, you don't own it, it owns you. At a minimum, boycott Apple products. For instance, the Apple Retina Macbook. $1299. Pure junk. The Apple watch? Similar to the Red Porsche buyers. Three inch penis.

    1. Joe Gurman

      Re: Before it kills again

      My, we do have issues, don't we? No one's forcing you to buy or use their kit, are they?

      People with money burning holes in their pockets will determine whether the Watch, or the MacBook, or whatever the next piece of  bling will sell, not the tech- and business-savvy readers of this site. While it may cause heartburn to the readers, I'm going to take a wild guess, based on not on southern US nuisance plant analogies, but past performance of both sales and stock price, that Apple will continue doing quite well for a while. People buy the stuff because (for whatever reason) they like the stuff. A company that sells stuff people like will usually do well. Nothing to see here, move along.

  15. Aedile

    Toad

    I assume the toad in the picture is a cane toad. According to the Australians, with whom I was deployed, they are a major nuisance. Actually Australians generally hate them so much I was told stories about how some people get golf clubs and use the toads as balls. Originally imported to Australia to eat pests that eat sugar cane they ended up being so invasive they are severely impacting the native animals/plants.

  16. Paw Bokenfohr
    Holmes

    Analysis frim analyses Apple.

    Finds that they are doing well, and should continue to do well, because they release and have released products and services which people like, and will buy.

    News at 11.

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