back to article 'If someone in Australia says lick my toad, it's not a euphemism'

The application of one's tongue to an Australian amphibian is no laughing matter. Neither, for that matter, are conspiracy theories around the launch of the Raspberry Pi 2 or love/hate reactions to Phil Zimmerman. Yes, it's Comment of the Week time. Opening this week's snorkworthy commentardery was Simple Si, who pitched up …

  1. Denarius Silver badge
    Happy

    of course

    lovers of lousy alliterative headlines are legion on ElReg

  2. Herby Silver badge

    Marmite?

    Please explain further. While I suspect it is something similar to Nutella, we here in the USA don't have much experience with it.

    Me? I like peanut butter, Skippy chunk style if you ask.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Marmite?

      "Please explain further. While I suspect it is something similar to Nutella,"

      Marmite is nothing to do with either nuts or chocolate. It's the sludge left in the bottom of the vat after brewing beer. Someone had the bright idea of putting it in jars and selling it instead of washing it down the drain where it belongs.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Marmite?

        Marmite is nothing to do with either nuts or chocolate.

        Someone always had to go and spoil it. There was I looking forward to seeing the reaction of our American cousins when sampling a nice big teaspoon of "chocolatey" Marmite, and somebody had to go and tip them off. Mind you, it resembles chocolate about as much as Hershey's does, so perhaps they'd have been happy with it.

        1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

          Re: Marmite?

          Marmite was discovered after Justus von Liebig dropped a cheese sandwich in a beer vat he was cleaning, and luckily for generations of Brits decided 'that tastes quite nice'. If he'd binned the sandwich, the beer industry would have to dispose of the yeast sludge in an environmentally sound way. This would obviously increase the price of beer, and affect the brewing industry's sustainability and recycling targets.

          Marmite is therefore a public good.

          However, some disagree with the flavour, notably Vegemite fans and the Danish. Having experienced what the Danes can do to innocent herrings, I'm suprised they objected to recycled beer products. Marmite is still under attack by it's detractors though. The latest tactic by the 'Hate It' brigade is to try and 'ban this filth' via the EU Salt Reduction Framework. If you love it, protect your Marmite!

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Marmite?

            "the EU Salt Reduction Framework"

            I hoped you'd made this up. But no, there's no beating the EU at that game.

          2. Chris G Silver badge

            Re: Marmite?

            Actually Marmite can be prescribed medically for those in need of a salty boost to their diet.

            As for not knowing what Marmite is almost made me down vote the poster regardless of the fact he is a johnny foreigner.

            I would not contemplate cheese on toast without a layer of Marmitey goodness under the cheese.

            It is also considered to be a superfood ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/9504293/Marmite-the-latest-superfood.html )

          3. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

            Re: Marmite?

            "Having experienced what the Danes can do to innocent herrings, I'm suprised they objected to recycled beer products."

            Danes are fond of pickled stuff, which isn't quite the same thing. Vinegar kills most of the fermenting processes. But Swedish surströmming fits the description nicely. Fermented herring from hell.

            1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

              Re: surströmming

              "But Swedish surströmming fits the description nicely. Fermented herring from hell."

              I quite like that, and potential nosh challenge? Not sure if my idea of surströmming/tunnbröd wraps would sell well outside Sweden though. My Swedish colleagues defeated me with lutfisk. Cod soaked in drain cleaner is just wrong. For a fish supper from hell, could try this with hákarl as a third course? Best eaten outdoors, tables set downwind and large buckets available.

              1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

                Re: surströmming

                Yep, it's quite plausible that some people will actually like surströmming and those other niceties. While my claim about the Danes preferring pickled fish was a generalization, thus nowhere near perfect, it's mostly true. Swedes are often bullying them (and anybody else) with surströmming.

                Anyhow, let's agree that Marmite isn't the most controversial treat out there.

            2. Martin Budden

              Re: Marmite?

              Vinegar kills most of the fermenting processes.

              Vinegar is the end product of fermentation by Acetobacter ;-)

              1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

                Re: Marmite?

                End product of fermentation, and end of fermentation. Well, mostly. Only a select few of the fermenting bacteria can live amidst acids.

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: Marmite?

          "about as much as Hershey's does"

          You DO know that Hershey is the happy owner of Cadbury, right? Not that I ever eat either, mind. I respect my taste buds.

          1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

            Re: Marmite?

            "You DO know that Hershey is the happy owner of Cadbury, right?"

            And they make Cadbury's chocolate that tastes nothing like the real Cadbury's chocolate. How they managed to take a bar that was parallel to, and practically touching, the ground and lower it considerably to create 'Hershey' I have no idea. Human ingenuity knows no bounds apparently.

            1. Eponymous Cowherd

              Re: Marmite?

              There was an article on the PM programme the other day about the burgeoning black market for "real" Cadbury chocolate from the UK or Ireland since Hershey have been granted an embargo on retailers selling the real thing.

              I recently was offered some "cadbury" chocolate while in the US. I have eaten Hershey chocolate before and found it fairly unpleasant, but when you take a mouthful expecting the creamy smooth taste of a chunk of Cadbury's and instead get the sickly sweet taste and plasticky texture of Hershey it honestly tastes like you have popped a lump of solidified puke into your mouth.

      2. Ben Tasker Silver badge

        Re: Marmite?

        instead of washing it down the drain where it belongs

        You can't do that with Marmite! Subjecting anyone working in the sewers to something so unimaginably gross is inhumane.

        Probably better to burn it, or maybe throw big globs of it at politicians.

      3. jake Silver badge

        @(John Brown (no body)) was: Re: Marmite?

        "washing it down the drain where it belongs."

        Uh ... no. The brewing by-products that we don't use as human food get fed to the hogs ... which in turn become human food. Circle of life & all that.

      4. jgarbo
        Facepalm

        Re: Marmite?

        Marmite for Brits, Vegemite for Ockeroons. They, too, demand their vat sludge.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Marmite?

      Marmite is about as close to Nutella as 'Skippy chunk' peanut butter is to Kopi Luwak.

    3. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Re: Marmite?

      Forget the toad. Lick my Marmite!

      That could be a ephemism. It just depends on your stance about being 20 something, gorgeous and with a penchant for filthy old men.

    4. jake Silver badge

      @Herby (was: Marmite?)

      Skippy? That's not peanut butter, it's a confection, infected with sugar.

      Stop demonstrating that Yanks are clueless about food. You're letting down the side.

  3. Kanhef

    re Golden Dropping

    Nice to see an eloquent counter to the "if you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear" argument. When it's been brought up, many people dismiss it out of hand, but few have been able to explain why it's a bad argument.

  4. poopypants

    Correction

    That's not how you spell Vegemite!

  5. earl grey Silver badge
    Trollface

    Marmite?

    And here i thought it was marmots, flattened to use as road bed.

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