"Effect" or "affect"?
Other than that, I'd recommend Absinthe, and lots of it, to try and wash out the horror you're about to face.
May the Green faerie protect your sanity this weekend!
We recently and somewhat recklessly announced that we'd be eyeballing Gigli, Pearl Harbor and Battlefield Earth back-to-back, in an epic "unwatchablathon" designed to determine just how much cinematic drivel the human mind can handle in one sitting. Our beloved readers are to blame for prompting this audacious experiment, …
No discussion of Adam Sandler and his particular brand of Hollywood machine is complete without linking to one of the greatest critical analyses of the man, his empire, and his films.
Would the guys who made the Plinkett Star Wars reviews steer you wrong?
...we refer you to its clean sweep of the 32nd Razzies, where Sandler deservedly picked up both Worst Actor and Worst Actress awards, and the "twaddle-fest" was furthered honoured with Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actor (Al Pacino), Worst Supporting Actress (David Spade as "Monica"), Worst Screen Ensemble (The Entire Cast of Jack and Jill), Worst Director (Dennis Dugan), Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (for its debt to Glen or Glenda), Worst Screen Couple (Adam Sandler and EITHER Katie Holmes, Al Pacino OR Adam Sandler) and Worst Screenplay (Steve Koren and Adam Sandler)
I have to say, I'm kinda intrigued. It's a bit like looking a bit too hard at a road accident - you know you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.
There can be no mitigation of the unwatchableness.
No drugs, no alcohol DURING the screenings.
I only say this because enough alcohol can make even severe limb trauma amusing. You must be wide awake, cogent, and coherent if this is to be a true test.
And may God have mercy on your souls...
in defense of Jack and Jill:
1. it has a clever blink-and-you'll-miss-it dig at Tom Cruise
Notice when Katie Holmes denies that she changed her religion when she married Jack how defensive she is? That HAS to be a dig at her ex-husband Cruise and the CoS.
2. the special effect of the cockatoo bathing in the chocolate fountain lead to awards for the VFX company involved and a hilarious tumblr meme.
Google "listen here cumslut" and all will be revealed.
in defense of Jack and Jill
Stop right there! There can be no defence of the indefensible! It was obvious from the trailer that the film would be utter garbage. Mind you I can't remember finding anything with Adam Sandler in it good.
As you can remember trivia about this film I suggest you seek professional help!
Mind you I can't remember finding anything with Adam Sandler in it good.
Wait! There was... no, it was... hold on... ahhhh... No, you are right. Rotten Tomatoes has 7 of his movies rated above 50%, one less than the total that achieved single digits and including three that managed to score an incredible 0%. The only way he could get worse would be to star in a sequel to the Lost in Space movie.
> Uh..... no, I'm at work.
> God, I dread to think about the "suggested images" on that one.
Understandable. If its any consolation, the images related aren't controversial. It mostly leads to search results with lots of copypastas and thread drama where someone inexplicably seems to be getting tumblr-sanctimonious about the suffering of a virtual (???) animal?
about this "unwatchablathon" thing... (by the way my compliments on that portmanteau 'unwatchablathon' (it's a veritable 'hapax legomenon' for El Reg as per Google!)) has anyone here watched The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle starring Robert DeNiro (?????) yet? May I suggest it as fodder for any future unwatchablathons?
Nativity 3 - Dude Where's My Donkey. A film designed to immolate the Christmas Spirit and urinate on the charred and defiled corpse. Honestly, probably the second worst movie I've ever seen. Not even "so bad it's enjoyable", just excruciatingly, painfully, woefully ill-judged. Kill with fire.
So, did that improve it or make it worse?
Or did you insist on o.v. so you could appreciate Adam's acting abilities to the fullest without worrying about if you were losing the subtle nuance that he brings to his role in translation.
There was no wine in the house. I fired up Kodi.
Put on Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
If the room isn't cleared out within 10-15mins, tell people you've realised the mistake and they just won't get it unless they watch Baby Geniuses first. It's sooo cute!
I'm working on whether keeping my Rotten Tomatoes 0% movies together or not. Sometimes just reaching for that section makes people leave.
Aside from that, I manged to track it down some time after release and we sat down to watch it.
Remember when I said "rabid"? If Adam Sandler is on, he'll shout anyone down for making noise during the movie. However, after the "film", he didn't say so, but you could see it in his eyes. His brain died a little bit.
It's that bad. Do not be tempted to watch this citing "anything this bad has to be funny", it isn't, you're not watching a 50's SciFi that was once thrown out, watching this will cause brain damage.
After suffering through Sandler, you're Still going through with the unwatchablathon?
There's brave, but this's suicidally foolish!
Oh well, if an ordinary joe can become the Flaming Carrot after reading 5000 random comics in a sitting, maybe you'll become "Not the heroes the world wants or needs, but the ones it gets" after this fiasco.
Then there is that classic example of Oz film adored by all the cognoscenti, "Picnic at Hanging Rock"
That tripe is so boring, I have never managed to get past the first 20 minutes.
Other time wasters are Caligula, The Postman always rings twice, and that rubbish where Julie Andrews gets naked.
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