back to article Oi, Aussie sports fans! Take that selfie stick and stick it

If you think selfie sticks are a sign of society's descent into a slough of narcissism, get thee to Australia where organisers of sporting events are making it known that telescoping terrors aren't entirely welcome. Officials at cycling event the Tour Down Under on Friday felt it necessary to emit the Tweet below: Be #selfie …

  1. Test Man

    They were banned at the Emirates and White Hart Lane by Arse-enal and Spurs weeks ago, too. Thank God, because if you're too stupid to bring one in, instead of concentrating on the flaming match you paid for, then you deserve it confiscated.

    1. e^iπ+1=0

      by Arse-enal and

      Surely if you're going to misspell the team it should at least be something a bit more forceful - try Arse-Anal for size instead!

  2. Bleu

    I don't watch much TV.

    Even less sports on TV. What is a 'selfie stick'?

    I think I may have seen one when checking if there is anything useful to attach to the GoPro connector on my not-GoPro camera, but am not sure.

    1. John H Woods

      Re: I don't watch much TV.

      "What is a 'selfie stick'?" -- Bleu

      A selfie- or narcis-stick is a (usually telescopic) handheld monopod to increase the field of view available when taking a selfie. As for whether you need one, you may find this flowchart helpful

      1. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        I think I don't need one, although one or two of the other GoPro mount attachments look like they might be useful.

        Narciss-stick! Love it, Mr. Woods!

      2. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        I look forward to viewing the flowchart (too tired now), pretty sure I neither need nor want the stick.

        Thx.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I don't watch much TV.

      Twenty seconds with Google would have told you what they are.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfie_stick

      The problem is that Jobsworth's are now anything that could possibly be used as one including (As evidenced yesterday) a pair of Crutches despite the use having a huge plaster cast on one leg.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        > a pair of Crutches despite the use having a huge plaster cast on one leg.

        I assume anyone with a crutch would be immediately targeted by an airstrike - haven't you seen "Day of the Jackal"?

      2. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        I avoid Google 'search' as I would the Ebola virus.

        This site has a 'reply' function for two reasons: to argue with people or to converse with people on the topic.

        I prefer to ask people who know for a direct reply much of the time.

        You have displayed great ignorance with your reply.

    3. Van

      Re: I don't watch much TV.

      The selfie-stick is a wonder of modern science that allows the center of the universe to be filmed in real-time

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I don't watch much TV. @Van

        >allows the center of the universe to be filmed in real-time

        I think you'll find that's called a SnorriCam

      2. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        Well said.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I don't watch much TV.

      I don't watch much TV.

      Even less sports on TV. What is a 'selfie stick'?

      And you apparently have no access to google, bing or a host of other search engines which would have answered this for you.

      Unless you were trying to show how you are too above the plebs to keep up with this sort of terminology. (although you seem up to date with the GoPro..)

      1. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        No, I just have a camera that has sockets for attachment to accessories for the GoPro. I have never seen a GoPro camera, except in a photo, I suspect that the Sony cameras for similar purposes do a better job.

        The one I have is largely made here, but not Sony, and not claimed to be rugged, so I need an umbrella if it rains (as now) or snows (as it will be at times where I am going from Wednesday).

        Results so far are good to great.

      2. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        Well, aren't we the charmer?

        As I pointed out to a similarly retarded commentard to you, I prefer at times to ask directly when I know there are people about who know.

        That is the point of reg. comment threads, to respond to the article, to argue about things related to the article, and to ask questions and converse on things related to the article.

        Maybe you will catch on some day.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I don't watch much TV.

          Just to check - are you boasting about your ignorance and lack of any drive to find things for yourself, so you'd rather just go with whatever someone replies to you in a comment?

          Super Cool.

    5. Alan Edwards

      Re: I don't watch much TV.

      > What is a 'selfie stick'?

      When combined with the wifi viewfinder function on a Go Pro, a handy way of getting your head 3 feet above everyone else at the sporting event of your choice.

      The next evolution should have a motorised pan/tilt head that integrates with the motion sensors on an Oculus Rift.

      1. Bleu

        Re: I don't watch much TV.

        Thank you, I guessed that may have been the case from checking the accessories for the GoPro mount on my non-Gopro camera.

        Nice comment in general.

        That camera does not have live wifi AFAIR, so I may as well put it on a tripod to gain height at music events where it may be useful.

        Don't have a great interest in the selfish and vain 'selfie' phenom.

        Again, thx.

  3. DougS Silver badge

    Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

    Maybe I have incorrect assumptions of what Aussies are like, having never been there and learned most of what I know from Paul Hogan, but wouldn't they just let you have it verbally (if you're female) or physically (if you're male) the minute you pulled a selfie stick out, before you even got a chance to use it?

    Hate to think the descendants of convicts have returned to their roots and are now as polite and passive as the English.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

      Alternatively, how about a selfie with that nice croc over there?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

        Forgive my ignorance (I always rely on the paparazzi to take my photograph) but wouldn't the point of a selfie in such circumstances be to project your own head out into the path of high speed cyclists and have the stick pointing back toward the crowd ?

        In which case the resulting decapitation would seem to be an automatic self solving problem .

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

          >having never been there

          Earl's Court used to be a reasonable alternative. It also used to be full of gays which lead me to believe that all Australians where homosexuals. And who said correlation doesn't prove anything?

      2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

        Re: Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

        Nice croc

        Why just the croc? Insert your choice of [ trapdoor spider | jellyfish | snake | shark ].

        In any case, I like the idea of the selfie zone. Can we have it right next to sharp bends (especially at car races) so nature can take its course.

    2. Adam 1 Silver badge

      Re: Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

      You have to keep an eye on the drop bear with a selfie stick. That never ends well.

    3. Bleu

      Re: Wouldn't this problem take care of itself?

      I have visited there, they are a strange nation of conformists pretending to be brave individualists, and relying in all of the cities on a London-style property boom for their futures.

      They have no productive industry. The economy is built on, in rough order, real-estate and construction bubble, minor stock markets by regional standards, mining, bureaucracy, and agriculture.

      Of course, all of those except agriculture are a net loss for most in the medium-to-long term.

      Interesting place.

  4. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

    Every time I see a "Selfie Stick" being used

    I always feel a strong desire to use it to give them an impromptu colonoscopy.

    That is where their head is firmly planted after all, so perhaps they'd be able to see how idiotic they look.

  5. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    So does this mean...

    ...my monopod with a proper camera attached which I've been using for years without problems is also banned at these events? Just as well I have no interest in sport and won't be going to them.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So does this mean...

      Good for you, thanks for letting us know.

    2. John Tserkezis

      Re: So does this mean...

      "my monopod with a proper camera attached which I've been using for years"

      The difference between a photographer and twat are pretty easy to tell apart.

      If you rest one end of your monopod on the ground for stability, you're a photographer.

      If you hold your monopod by the end (the foot), and face the camera towards yourself, you're a twat.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: So does this mean...

        "If you hold your monopod by the end (the foot), and face the camera towards yourself, you're a twat."

        True. But it's also handy for taking photos over the tops of the bars/fences in zoos or just getting another perspective when there's no other way of reaching that extra height.

        1. Bleu

          Re: So does this mean...

          Maa,you can do the same thing with a small tripod without the podes being spread.

          ... but you will have a more stable platform if you hold the camera as far above your head as you can, pick the best position, and stand on tip-toes.

  6. jake Silver badge

    Here in Sonoma, we're a trifle more polite ...

    ... "Would you like me to take that picture for you, so it's framed properly?" is a (fairly) common question around the Plaza.

    You'd be surprised how many people get pissed off when they immediately assume that their photography skills are being dissed.

  7. a well wisher

    Just maybe they meant,

    A selfie stick can be used in two modes, one as the name implies, but also in 'periscope' mode to get a better shot or view of the action which it looks like the original Aussie tweet was addressing

    But never let the (possible) truth get in the way of a good rant against iPhone wielding narcissists

    1. Jonathan Richards 1
      Thumb Down

      Re: Just maybe they meant,

      > a better shot or view of the action

      Thus, there should also be a ban on the worst format ever for a camera, viz. a tablet computer. My sister has a wonderful photograph of Usain Bolt crossing an Olympic finishing line... at least she has a photograph of a tablet which is showing Usain Bolt crossing an Olympic finishing line, hoisted up into her line of vision by some tablet-toting-twassock at the crucial moment.

      1. Bleu

        Re: Just maybe they meant,

        Beautiful comment Jonathon!

        Why do people make ostentatious displays of taking photos on tablet computers? The photos are always crap.

        The point always seems to be 'look at me,look at my Apple corpse tablet' (sorry, I have only ever seen Apple tablet owners pull that shitty attempt at showing off).

  8. Phil Parker

    Danger

    The problem isn't with the sticks and users per se - It's that when someone gets poked in the back of the head by a twat using one, they are likely to grab the thing and throw it, possibly with the user still attached, into the area/road/court.

    I await the day the first iPad is frisbeed on to a football pitch by a fan fed up of having someone holding it above their head and blocking everyone elses view.

  9. ukgnome
    Facepalm

    Humans are dumb.

    Oh I wish I could post photo's.

    While visiting Stonehenge in December I noticed a German gentleman taking a picture of himself with such a device. His wife \ partner stood by and watched. Humans are dumb.

    1. Bleu

      Re: Humans are dumb.

      I think you are either missing the point or do not explain enough.

      So what if this German gent wanted to take a pic. of himself with Stonehenge in the background?

      Likely had some artistic reason for doing so, sounds like a time there weren't too many people about.

      1. David Nash Silver badge

        Re: Humans are dumb.

        "So what if this German gent wanted to take a pic. of himself with Stonehenge in the background?"

        OP said "his wife/partner stood by and watched". Perhaps she could have taken the picture instead?

        1. Bleu

          Re: Humans are dumb.

          My assumption: he was going for an angle she wouldn't be able to reach.

          You may be right, maybe he was just an idiot.

  10. Tikimon Silver badge

    World's most expensive club - ouch

    "Just why selfie sticks are a menace at the tennis hasn't been explained..."

    A smartphone on a stick is an expensive club. I don't think I want people waving them over my head, thanks. Sporting venues have limited possible blunt weapons for a long time, witness the popularity of foam hands and such. Hard to brain someone with foam!

  11. AlicePattinson

    I'd love using my Selfie Stick Pro in a sports event like this. But make sure to turn your flash off. :)

  12. Bleu

    I finally saw a 'selfie-stick' in captivity

    ... being used by a couple of girls to take shots of both of them.

    The one with the stick was clearly delighted to be carrying it, no offer to her friend to try it, I was able to see how they become a pestilence.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019