back to article UNDER A VEST: Man cuffed for smuggling 94 iPhones strapped to his body

Chinese authorities have captured a man trying to smuggle 94 iPhones strapped to his body into the Middle Kingdom. Photos shared by the state's People's Daily newspaper show the man stripped of his outerwear to expose an elaborate layer of Apple handsets fastened with plastic wrap and duct tape to his torso, abdomen, groin and …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Embaressing moment....

    Errrr... which one is ringing?

    1. Bob Vistakin
      Facepalm

      Re: Embaressing moment....

      Clearly, since this guy was walking like C3P0 he could have just said he's testing their bendability.

  2. Smitty Werben Jueger Man Jenson
    Joke

    Mobe suit

    iGundam?

  3. frank ly
    Coat

    He was wearing them wrong

    Coat: The one with no iPhones in the pockets.

  4. imanidiot Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Metaldetector

    I just wonder what this idiot was thinking would happen when he walked through a metal detector and was then frisked...

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Metaldetector

      I'll bet he was set up to go through a line with a particular guy who would wave him through, but the plan fell through somehow. No way you'd do that without some reason to believe you wouldn't get caught. Even if he was dumb, who is going to try 94 phones the first time they attempt smuggling?

      Someone didn't get their bribe on time, or was out sick on the wrong day.

    2. veti Silver badge

      Re: Metaldetector

      Do you have to go through a metal detector to get from HK to mainland China? Serious question, I've never tried.

      The thought that strikes me is, he just got greedy. 94 iPhones net $49k profit? Then 30 of the things - which he could easily have carried much less obtrusively - would have made over $15k, plenty to cover expenses with a nice little profit to spare - then he could have gone back next month to do it again.

      1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

        Re: Metaldetector

        @veti - No metal detector last time I crossed.

        Why wait a month - some people, including school kids, commute even day. Take one a day, and claim it's your personal phone - who can say different? Recruit a class-full of kids, and you have a cushy business model.

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Metaldetector

          You think they're not already doing it?

          1. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip

            Re: Metaldetector

            With regard to the metal detector, It will depend on which border crossing is used, though its usually farcical lunacy at best in any case. Some crossings you can just drive through with the boot open, others crossings for foot passengers may have checks similar to air port security. I recall my suitcase was x-rayed once, on that occasion I had around 20Kg of pipe flanges hidden in it (they were needed on site in a hurry), I passed through without any issue, though I expect treatment of westerners and locals is quite different.

            Oh and $49k is the total value of the haul not profit, unless he stole the phones on the HK side. A profit of only a few dollars a phone would be incentive enough for the smugglers and still be considered highly lucrative.

    3. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Metaldetector

      He should've carried 5C models then it would've been OK.

  5. Alistair Silver badge
    Coat

    iSamuri

    *nuff said.

  6. Phil Endecott Silver badge

    Maybe it was this guy?

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/11/11/chinese_programmer_fails_to_woo_sweetheart_with_99_new_iphones/

  7. DNTP

    According to my calculations, 94 newish iPhones would weigh somewhere between 9.1 and 14 kg (23-36 lbs), which distributed over your body isn't really all that heavy or cumbersome.

    So obviously this story didn't really happen, its a false flag op by Chinese customs to intimidate and ridicule Hong Kong's smugglers in the media.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Must have been walking odd though. I know iPhones bend, but not that much.

  8. paulej72
    Facepalm

    Smuggle them INTO China

    Why don't the just get them fresh off the production lines? Silly Chinese.

  9. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Coat

    Maybe he could...

    ...win a prize in the UK for inventing a new wearable?

    Coat. The one with all the extra pockets.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Maybe he could...

      Well, wearable tech IS the new hot thing these days.... I'll leave also.

  10. Tromos

    If they hampered his walking style, they can't have been the new bendy ones.

  11. adrian727

    ironman

    He's got the name here in Hong Kong because of his armor like iPhone formation

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a fool

    They should make him wear the phones for six months.

    1. rapidwiz

      Re: What a fool

      Better yet, they should make him use the iPhone for 6 months as punishment :)

      1. Breen Whitman

        Re: What a fool

        That's classed as torture by the UN so is forbidden under the Geneva convention.

        Yes, the US used this technique, but they moved to waterboarding instead. Even they had compassion.

  13. Amorous Cowherder
    Facepalm

    They probably first noticed the bulge from the big set over his nethers!

  14. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    I've told your before...

    Never ring me at the orifice!

  15. Number6

    Underwear

    I always thought the iPhone was pants.

  16. JoshOvki
    Meh

    But where...

    did he put the chargers?! :|

  17. Chris G Silver badge

    Ultimate Fanboi

    No!No! Really, they're all mine.I like iPhones.

    1. shaolin cookie

      Re: Ultimate Fanboi

      With no replaceable batteries, this is the way to have iPhones that run through the whole 3 month trip. And that explains the lack of chargers as well.

    2. Patrick R

      Re: Ultimate Fanboy

      Is there an estimation of how much iThingies the average fanboy owns for "personal usage"? Probably a bit less than that. But with so many Jesus phones, he must have been awaited by his accomplices as the messiah.

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: Ultimate Fanboy

        "Is there an estimation of how much iThingies the average fanboy owns for "personal usage"? "

        A friend of mine has 2 macbooks, an all in one desktop an iPad and three or four iPhones and he insists it's because its' the first tech shop you come to as you go into town.

        To be fair on the phones he travels a lot and has local sims already in a couple of the phones.

        He's a musician and one of the macbooks has a huge amount of music on it which connects up to everything on stage.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Luckily it was the UK or USA

    He would of been shot first. Seriously, if you want to look like a suicide bomber as you pass through a body scanner, this is the way to go.

  19. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    FAIL

    Just when I think humans can't get any more dumb...

    Someone goes and raises (or in this case, lowers) the bar.

    1. Lord Raa

      Re: Just when I think humans can't get any more dumb...

      I'm sure that Florida Man will no doubt endeavor to create a more ridiculous headline in the coming weeks.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yeah, the HK/SZ border is not some clinical efficient passport control like you see in Western airports. It's a dirty bridge rammed with thousands of people dragging huge piles of wheelie luggage full of Luis Vuitton bags and baby milk powder and contraband.

    I've never had a bag X-rayed going through there....easiest way to smuggle phones is probably to pay a gweilo to carry them through in a shoulder bag.

  21. Major Ebaneezer Wanktrollop

    AirMail

    Why not just buy the iPhones on the internet and have them delivered to China by post?

    Just have them scrawl 'gift' on the customs label and should sail through security without a hitch as that is exactly what the Chinese do when they deliver to the UK and I, I mean my friend always gets his goods.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shall we charge him sarge?

    Only if you can get the USB leads cheap lad.

  23. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

    Why would the Chinese even want Apple products?

    Don't they get enough totalitarianism and personality cultism from their government already?

  24. Tikimon Silver badge
    Joke

    Invisibility cloak prototype?

    Think about it. Each phone broadcasts the live camera view to its counterpart on the other side of the guy. You always see what's behind him, so Voila! Invisibility cloak.

    Granted, not a very GOOD one...

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