back to article Tragedy strikes Vulture News Central but details remain scrambled

A sad day as Vulture News Central loses its lead anchor, Regina Eggbert, in a horrific misunderstanding ... no, I can't go on. I simply can't describe it. You'll have to see for yourself! ® Youtube Video Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

  1. DJV Silver badge
    Facepalm

    If that's supposed to be funny...

    ...I didn't get the yolk.

    1. poopypants

      Re: If that's supposed to be funny...

      That was eggscrutiating.

    2. Kurt 5

      Re: If that's supposed to be funny...

      Proof she wasn't up to hard boiled journalism.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: If that's supposed to be funny...

        After 6 months, if she wasn't hardboiled she was already well past her best-by date. Will she be moving to one of those pay-to-view scrambled channels now?

  2. chivo243 Silver badge

    My best Vincent Price

    Eggcellent ending! Muhwahaahhaa

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You will need to...

    ...poach a new news reader from somewhere. Shame really, Regina was cracking.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Not a very good egg - in fact a bit of an oeuf - to have done that. I take it you'll be scrambling to find a new one?

  5. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    One eggy newsreader may be un oeuf

    but surely we deux oeufs two?

  6. thomas k.

    Sorry ...

    Doesn't make up for the awful redesign. Nice try, though.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sorry ...

      Unless, of course, she was behind it.

    2. Cipher
      FAIL

      Re: Sorry ...

      0 for 2 from where I sit.

  7. Hero Protagonist

    Finally, definitive proof

    The fridge light DOES stay on when you close the door.

  8. WalterAlter
    Holmes

    You'd have a winner, if...

    You did a Clutch Cargo on her mouth.

  9. chivo243 Silver badge

    @WalterAlter

    Classic, Clutch Cargo with his pals Spinner and Paddlefoot, nice reference, have an upvote!

  10. Captain DaFt

    Sad ending, she was a good egg, but the whole concept wasn't what it was cracked up to be.

  11. Flippy

    Shell shocked?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ...This is your brain on El Reg

    Any questions?

    1. MrT

      Re: ...This is your brain on El Reg

      Does anybody else feel like a fried egg?!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A failure to communicate

    Reeling from the loss of advertising revenue due to the poorly-received site re-design, ElReg management met to decide how to cut costs.

    It was decided that Regina was really rather egspensive and was only re-hatching news that had already been published. So it was decided to let her go.

    Unfortunately, one of the less bright Reg staff took that literally, and 'let her go' from 4ft.

  14. Yes Me Silver badge

    Paradise reggained

    Egged on by this story, I looked around a bit, and discovered that if you really liked the old Reggister look, you can get something similar but even simpler by using the current day's archive link, like http://www.theregister.co.uk/Archive/2014/12/20/

    Not perfect but better than the continuing disaster of the front page.

    1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Re: Paradise reggained

      Or if you prefer a simplistic, more RSS like look, then try the mobile version of the site:-

      http://m.theregister.co.uk/

  15. Camilla Smythe
    Mushroom

    It would seem Regina has become rather like the site redesign.

    Something which has been newly introduced only to become stale and tossed on the floor.... Note the watery white and the burst yolk. You would not wish to break that one into your frying pan along with a couple of rashers.. let alone try for a meringue or soufflé.

    Perhaps, having got bored with her, the animator/voice over person might have resorted to a, arguments descend, 3 minute soft boil followed by a precise Dremel, I do not work for the company, trepanation of the brain cavity prior to excavation with toasted and buttered soldiers.

    I will not mention the possible distribution of a smearing of Marmite on such scalpels for fear of.. OS Wrath.

    Having removed, or eaten out, all of Regina's bodily fluids you can fill her back up again with some of Earth's own earth and a bit of Grass Seed, a Carrot Top or something else a bit more suited to your Vegan needs then leave Her in the Airing Cupboard for a while.

    Naturally you will wish to wire up a Raspberry Pi to a couple of low light infra-red cameras and hook them up to the IOT and your NAS box so everyone can become a voyeur but I bet you will still open the door to check.

    Then, when she has her new head of grass, you might proudly display her on your windowsill and let her green up....

    BUT

    You forgot about the other 5 you left in the fridge, along with the left over curry and MOULD and your tin of Coors Light. Oh No.... I am not fooled by your pristine presentation of how you would like us to think the internals of your fridge look like.

    I know your Rumba is clagged up with pubic hair and is sentient enough to avoid cleaning under the bed.

    The Men In Black are a film. Do not go into the kitchen and open doors because what will escape will not make them, or Ghostbusters, a reality. Burn IT Burn IT NOW!!

    This educational message brought to you by 'Duck and Cover'.

  16. swampdog

    @camile

    Not sure what you're on there but it is the weekend. "Tossed & *then* stale", surely? However, it does bring to mind Samantha wrt punctuation, or more precisely capitalization..

    Tom helped his uncle Jack off a horse.

  17. swampdog

    The ad on my screen said..

    Detach and Conquer [blah blah blah], sleek 2-in-1 PC.

    Bender would be proud.

  18. The Vociferous Time Waster

    New site design

    I work with new technology and I fear change

  19. OzBob

    So

    the intern with the fetish for stop-frame animation has moved on to greener pastures? Meh

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rookie

    You can tell she was a rookie reporter. A true news veteran would have been hard-boiled.

  21. BuckPyland

    Well played, sirs.

    I am so embarrassed that I fell for this sort of low-brow comedy. I have major egg on my face right now.

  22. FrogInABlender

    Dous this skit meet with Mr Dobbs's eggspectations ?!

  23. b0llchit
    Thumb Up

    Missing link

    You have missed a link: http://reggister.co.uk

    It says it cannot find the server. However, it was served and (slomo) replays are all the rage of old times.

  24. Trollslayer Silver badge

    Shell be OK

    Oops, no she won't.

  25. Florida1920
    Childcatcher

    A fowl deed

    At least she didn't chicken out at the end.

  26. btrower

    eggsecrable

    Master Bait

  27. Fink-Nottle

    Parts of it were excellent!

  28. Ged T
    Meh

    So, how much did VC have to...

    ...shell out to her family in compensation?

    p.s. Used the 'Meh' icon, as it seemed the only thing close n' ouef...

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