back to article How much for a wrist job? A tenner normally, but for this one, over $30k

The wait is almost over for footballers, Arab oil magnates, the fanbois elite, Croydon-based lottery winners, or anyone else with a money to burn: a diamond-encrusted Apple Watch will hit the shops next year with an eye-popping price tag. The gaunche-wear, a ‘pimped up’ version of the Watch, comes plastered with eight rounds …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Croydon's Calling


    For the real croydon chav look you can get the same bracelet on Ali-Gaga with 100% natural virgin polymer stones from china (with a name like that must be better than die-mounds innit?) for less than £30! Now that's real !

  2. Rampant Spaniel

    Finally something that could replace the speed boat as Bully's star prize!

    1. AbelSoul

      Re: Bully's star prize!

      Keep out of the black and in the red,

      There's nothing in this game for two in a bed

  3. mrjohn

    Did Apple jump the shark already?

    1. VinceH Silver badge

      And if so, why the hell didn't the shark have a frikin' laser attached?

  4. DougS Silver badge

    Isn't that just a blingy band for the Gold watch?

    I guess it has the benefit that it can be reused when you trade in the 2015 Gold for the 2016 Gold, and presumably used on a regular watch if the whole smart watch phenomena turns out to be a fad.

    1. sandman

      Re: Isn't that just a blingy band for the Gold watch?

      Ah, you're missing the point of conspicuous consumption. The idea should be that it only fits one specific model of blingy thingy. When a new model comes out you order a new wristband - just because you can. There used to be a shop in Burlington Gardens (still there possibly) that sold this sort of stuff. You could buy black diamond encrusted phone cases that would only fit a single model of phone and much more besides.

  5. Wombling_Free

    We aren't going to make it, are we?

    We are doomed as a species. The universe belongs to nematode worms.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: We aren't going to make it, are we?

      Oh I don't know. There's hope. Maybe in twenty years Harrods will sell you the very latest Dragon XX Weekender - for his 'n' hers special weekend spacejaunts. But if that's too common for you, you'll be able to have a special version (for 50 times the price) in all black with black buttons and a black light to light up black and tell you when you've pressed them.

      Plus diamond-encrusted flying cars and solid gold personal robots to do your cooking and washing up.

  6. Anonymous Coward


    ...looks classy and tasteful.Must get one to compliment my lime green Range Rover with it's leopard skin seat covers and white leather dashboard.

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: Hmmmm...

      Don't forget your white stilettos because you must be from Essex!

      1. AbelSoul

        Re: Don't forget your white stilettos ...

        With clear heels, natch.

        1. Lamont Cranston

          Re: With clear heels

          I hope they've got goldfish in them.

    2. g e

      Re: Hmmmm...

      And Snow Tigerskin carpeting

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Hmmmm...

        And Snow Tigerskin carpeting

        How common! All my furniture is uphostered in only the finest pandaskin.

  7. Frankee Llonnygog

    That's nothing

    I once had an IBM keyboard encrusted with toast crumbs.

  8. Shady

    Is the Charlie Runkle ass crack tattoo obligatory?

    Just askin'....

  9. Triggerfish

    Gaunche? wear

    Free dictionary had an interesting definition

  10. Ed_UK

    Ed's #1 Rule of Marketing

    For every vaguely useful invention, there's a marketer who asks "Great, now how can we make this more expensive?"

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