back to article Star Wars: Episode VII trailer lands. You call that a lightsaber? THIS is a lightsaber

Star Wars' fans have been treated to their first glimpse of episode seven of the movie franchise, after a trailer for The Force Awakens, directed by J.J. Abrams, was released on Friday. Youtube Video Opinions about the film's teaser have been mixed, with the latest lightsaber design being poorly received by some netizens. …

  1. Def Silver badge
    Joke

    That lightsabre...

    ...will be perfect in the upcoming Jedi Vampire Hunters spin off show.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That lightsabre...

      Don't give Disney any bright ideas!

      1. Anthony Shortland

        Re: That lightsabre...

        Disney wouldn't care

        They're far too busy trying to figure out how to get some Frozen references in there!

        1. Adam Foxton

          Re: That lightsabre...

          "Your anger mays you strong. Let the hate flow through you, don't hold back. Let it goooooo, let it goooooo! Can't hold it back anymoooooore!"

          "We're sending you to Hoth." "The cold never bothered me anyway."

          "Do you wanna be a Sith Lord? Come on lets go and train. The Light Side it can be a bore, but the Sith is more, powerful everydaaaay"

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: That lightsabre...sponsored by Wilkinson Sword!

            "The first blade cuts close, the second even closer, the third closer still."

    2. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      Re: That lightsabre...

      Someone has already come out with a parody of that shot where Jesus is standing opposite with a similar lightsabre that's oriented in the other direction so that it's a cross.

  2. Jimbo in Thailand

    OMG... A little restraint please...

    FFS, this is a teaser for a movie that's still in production and won't be released for another year!!! I've read so much anti-this and anti-that about this title already and it's not even finished. FFS please stop this BS speculation. When the flick is finally released then everyone can express their opinions. Until then, naysayers please SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

      You live in Thailand but are still stressed? You need to get out more.

      1. Alain

        Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

        Thailand is a stressful country when you WORK there, believe me.

        Especially when you try to do a proper job in the IT industry and you hit the walls of "cultural differences" constantly.

        Been there, got the stress, the exhausting climate, the killer pollution, the unescapable noise, the lack of any social security net (e.g. you can end up on the streets easily if you get sick) etc.

        Of course, this doesn't applies to retirees or people wealthy enough to be there in a permanent vacation on the beach. It's still a wonderful country with a wonderful people, but without stress? nope.

        Sorry for the off-topic rant. Just wanted to fight the usual cliché.

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

          Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

          "Sorry for the off-topic rant. Just wanted to fight the usual cliché."

          It was a tongue in cheek comment, I'm sure there is stress everywhere you go on this planet, Thailand being no exception. I have been there so I'm not completely ignorant, but I take your point :)

          However, my point was that if you were feeling a bit stressed you could always find a little 'relief' for not very much outlay.

    2. Camilla Smythe

      Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

      "FFS, this is a teaser for a movie that's still in production and won't be released for another year!!! I've read so much anti-this and anti-that about this title already and it's not even finished. FFS please stop this BS speculation. When the flick is finally released then everyone can express their opinions. Until then, naysayers please SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

      Ah. I see your point.

      What you are saying is they have run out of ideas so they are floating rubbish in the hope of crowd sourcing criticism in order to make things better.

      Presumably this works if everyone chooses to STFU and let them get on with it.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

      The force is weak in you Jimbo, you potty mouth.

    4. P. Lee Silver badge
      Linux

      Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

      Think shouting down trolls in an internet forum, you can? Fail you will. Hmmm.

      1. zen1

        Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

        "Think shouting down trolls in an internet forum, you can? Fail you will. Hmmm."

        There is no try, only failure.

    5. dan1980

      Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

      @Jimbo

      Star Wars is big property. It was bought by Disney because they believed there was a big enough market to make money off.

      They are right on this count because Star Wars has a huge and very devoted following. Star Wars fans read the books and play the games and debate with each other over what is and is not (and should and should not be) canon. They argue about the relative power levels of characters and make up their own stories where authentic information doesn't exist.

      They care about it.

      So yes, when they see something they don't like, they will point it out and complain. By your own argument, this is not a finished product. There are bits that will change and bits that will get left out entirely and other bits added. Surely THIS is the right time to make feelings known - while they can be heard and, if the director so chooses, taken on board.

      On the specific note, the crossguard is naff. It just is. Through the movies and cartoons and games and comics there have been depictions of many forms beyond the standard lightsaber - from staffs to daggers to spears to whips. All these have the 'light' part substituting for the part you hit people with, which makes sense. A guard is an odd choice here.

      Whatever the case may be, people think it's naff and they are making their opinions known while there is time for those opinions to actually make a difference.

      1. Raumkraut

        Re: OMG... A little restraint please...

        On the specific note, the crossguard is naff. ... have the 'light' part substituting for the part you hit people with, which makes sense. A guard is an odd choice here.

        Not really. AIUI, the point of a crossguard is to protect the wielder from the opposition's blade "sliding" down their own, and lopping their hand or arm off. Since pretty much the only thing which can stop a lightsaber is another lightsaber, then you couldn't really make a functional crossguard out of anything else.

        That said, the plain crossguard seen in the clip I would more expect from a Jedi, since its role is going to be mostly defensive. I would expect a Sith to have a more upturned guard, which would be more suited to an aggressive role of trapping the opponent's lightsaber, and wrenching it from their grip - disarming the opponent for an easier kill.

        But yes, it does feel a bit naff.

      2. proud2bgrumpy

        Cross Guard Important?, Really?

        Honestly who cares about the cross guard - from a practical perspective, it makes sense - otherwise what else would stop an opponents lightsabre simply sliding down your light sabre to your wrist.

        More importantly, it seems that the new films have returned to the look of the originals (ep.IV/V/VI) and abandoned the overly clinical CGI look of the more recent Lucas movies (ep.I/II/III). Looks very promising.

        1. KroSha

          Re: Cross Guard Important?, Really?

          The cross guard, as shown, is indeed pointless. The emitters for the cross blades are exposed and thus vulnerable to a light blade. They'd just be chopped through. Given that the light sabre is based on the katana, a cross guard seems superfluous, as the fighting style evolved to consider the exposed nature of the hands in the fighting. As an inexperienced Luke could tell you.

          1. Mike Ozanne
            Coat

            Re: Cross Guard Important?, Really?

            More to the point the fighting style evolved in conjunction with armoured gauntlets and sleeves (Tetsu -gai, Kote) .

            An example of late sengoku period battle armour (Tosei Gosoku) allegedly worn by Ieyasu Tokugawa is here :

            https://www.flickr.com/photos/127763581@N04/15043925748/.

            Note the hybrid plate/mail arm and hand protection.

        2. ravenviz
          Terminator

          Re: Cross Guard Important?, Really?

          I quite liked those 'light whips' in Johnny Mnemonic. Shame about everything else in the film, especially Keanu's soliloquy about room service and pressed shirts!

        3. Jedit
          Headmaster

          "what would stop an opponents lightsabre sliding down your light sabre to your wrist"

          Lightsabres are modelled on Japanese swords, which also lack crossguards, but the samurai never had much problem with opponents sliding their blade down because when blades clash they become entangled by friction. If you know what you're doing, you can even prevent an opponent withdrawing their blade after a parry.

  3. Banksy
    Paris Hilton

    Lego?

    You've posted the Lucas version link three times but not the Lego one!

    1. Dave Bell

      Re: Lego?

      The Lego version is the future of movie special effects.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lightsabre

    Well, if you believe (in the movie reality) that Jedis/Siths/whatever can deflect shots from laser weapons with their lightsabres, even if they don't see the shooter, then it doesn't require too much additional imagination to accept that they are sufficiently capable of not cutting themselves and their clothes with the weapon. Might be even interesting to watch.

    1. ACx

      Re: Lightsabre

      Could be that that cross lightsabre separates in to two. One traditional one, and a smaller double ended dagger.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lightsabre: MYSTERY SOLVED!

      3 Beam Lightsabre;

      Beam #1: Main Beam, for fighting!

      Beam 2&3: One for lighting a slim panatella after a good rumble and one for lighting the Gas oven for a celabratory fry up!

      Thanks to Mr Abrams, Hollywood, California, US.

  5. Camilla Smythe

    All Videos Appear to be The Same

    Is the glimpsed species good at sucking knob? Perhaps it evolved from the fleshlight.

    As an aside I have to agree the new light sabre appears to be a bit of rubbish. Not being up to steam on Samurai stuff but it does seem waving it about will end up with severed wrists and trying to chop someone's head off will lose you your legs, at the torso if your opponent is short.

    Perhaps it comes with sensors that switch off the useless bits when they are about to chop you up. Perhaps all will become clear in the fight choreography.

    In respect of the robot.. Segway.

    1. Havin_it
      Childcatcher

      Re: All Videos Appear to be The Same

      >Is the glimpsed species good at sucking knob? Perhaps it evolved from the fleshlight.

      I take it, then, that you haven't seen the "Special Edition" (read: wanked all over with CGI) versions of the originals then?

      I would not in good conscience advise you to remedy that, but yeah, she's not new. I think she was the centerpiece of Jabba's floor show, duetting with some kind of half-Ewok, half-Brian Blessed dude. Or was the whole thing a fever dream...?

      As for where her skills lie (apart from singing, of course), you're probably wise to keep it "upstairs" as her camel toe looked about a foot wide.

    2. The Man in Black
      Megaphone

      Re: All Videos Appear to be The Same

      To be fair, medieval folks (and those of us that re-enact it) have used swords with crossguards for years, but don't hit ourselves with them. If you hit yourself with the handle of your own sword (tantamount to punching yourself in the face), you deserve everything you get!

  6. Will 28

    I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

    It was my initial reaction as well, but I've been thinking it through, and it would actually be pretty hard to chop your own hand off with the guard of your sword. The angle you'd need to get your wrist to would be an incredibly weak position, and nobody would consciously (or even accidentally) do it.

    Perhaps those more experienced in fighting with broadswords could correct me, but as someone that has practiced martial arts, and does know the basic shape of such techniques, I just can't see how you'd do it (or for that matter, why if it were the case, broadswords had any kind of guard in the first place).

    1. Mark Wilson

      Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

      At best the sabre would have to be vertical to do any real damage to the user. Look at the size of the guards on some historical broadswords, whilst not sharp, you wouldn't want to be hitting yourself mid swing as it would destroy your chances of hitting the opponent with any degree of force, alonside that it would probably hurt.

    2. Peter2 Silver badge

      Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

      I play with sabers, including against martial arts clubs.

      You could potentially take yourself out while spinning a saber as they do in star wars episode 1-3. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuRYp3l1UhQ)

      The reason this wouldn't have been a problem with a broadsword is that it wouldn't have been a cutting edge, and nobody would ever attempt to spin a broadsword like that in the first place. The reason every sword (other than a lightsaber) has a guard is because getting hit on the fingers is exceedingly painful even when only with a blunt bit of wood/polycarbonate. The consequences of being hit with a sharp bit of metal is likely to lead to the loss of important bits of your anatomy.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

      The issue is more likely to be stabbing yourself in the leg or body with an over-enthusiastic follow through.

      Either way, the real problem is that it looks stupid.

    4. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

      Err, try disarming an opponent with a short (or long for that matter) sword with the standard twisting + "take the blade" (easiest starting from 6th). If the sword would have had a "magic cut through everything" guard that would have been "your wrist just went missing" moment. Granted, the technique is useful only against a much weaker opponent, but... none the less...

      1. Will 28

        Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

        But that would take the attacker's hand off making the guard "useful".

        1. Eddy Ito Silver badge
          Meh

          Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

          We can only hope they will do something interesting with it in the movie. Perhaps some novel spinning along the axis of the saber with a thrust move to slice some extra thin pastrami or perhaps one of those fancy double helix spiral cut hams.

    5. breakfast

      Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

      People joke, but look at the number of surviving Jedi in the original trilogy with prosthetic hands. The risks are clearly very high!

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        WTF?

        Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

        As far as I remember there were only two surviving Jedi, and neither of them had a prosthetic hand.

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

          Re: I'm pretty sure it won't cut your hand off

          I don't suppose the down-voters could enlighten me as to why I am wrong?

          Surviving Jedi from first set of films=Yoda and Obi-Wan

          Luke 'became' a Jedi, and Anikin/Vader was a Sith Lord so was no longer a Jedi

          Have I missed anyone?

  7. TheFinn

    Excellent lightsaber

    ...not only for dispatching enemies, but for whipping up an impromptu creme brulee!

  8. Peter2 Silver badge

    Anybody who thinks a guard on a hilt is a stupid idea clearly hasn't taken a high speed impact on their fingers when duelling with a saber.

    And yes, you can buy sabers meant for duelling these days. Google "The Custom Saber Shop" if you have reasonable wiring skills and want to make your own, or Google "Ultrasabers" if you haven't and therefore need something working out of the box.

    1. Will 28

      Guards are good

      Yes, Guards on swords are useful.

      The silly thing is that the guard on that sword is strong on the edges, and fundamentally vulnerable on the bit you refer to (getting your fingers rapped). This part is of course mechanical and as we saw in the Phantom Menace with Darth Maul, it can be chopped (conveniently) in two, so this one I assume breaks up into three. So a useless guard against the thing it's guarding against.

      1. Peter2 Silver badge

        Re: Guards are good

        Most of the time a hit to the fingers is received by deflecting an incoming blow with your blade at an angle. The other blade then slides down yours and hits your fingers because there is no intervening guard.

        1. Rogue Jedi

          Re: bashed fingers

          After having this happen a few times I would love to add a guard to my favorate Lightsaber, I just cannot figure out a way to do it that would withstand a few hits and not look stupid.

          in the meantime gloves work for protecting fingers

      2. P. Lee Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Guards are good

        >So a useless guard against the thing it's guarding against.

        So... this is not the guard we are looking for?

        Icon: me and the chap who last used that light-saber.

    2. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      The devil's in the details.

      The problem with this guard is that it's a double sided razor facing down towards your own fingers. It's nothing like a conventional hilt. That sword would make much more sense with a conventional hilt beneath the lasery bits.

  9. RISC OS

    Lightsabres can cut through anything

    unless you need them to actually not cut through anything, like in RotJ or maybe the TEsB when one of them spins upside down and uses his lightsabre to stop himself hitting the floor... so I guess it won't cut their hands either.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lightsabres can cut through anything

      According to Mr Brick Vader, lightsabres go through bone like butter!

      I'm not arguing with him!

      1. AbelSoul
        Trollface

        Re: According to Mr Brick Vader....

        Any relation to Jeff?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    People are griping about the practicality of a "light sabre"?

    Seriously? That's the only aspect of Star Wars that striles you as being a tad unrealistic?

    This isn't real, people, it's fantasy and entertainment! Get a grip, FFS!

    1. Camilla Smythe

      Re: People are griping about the practicality of a "light sabre"?

      Apparently, sometime in the past, the BA got equipped with shit rifles.

      http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/oct/10/military.jamesmeek

      Presumably they have similar issues in fantasy land and this time 'The Dark Side' engineered 'The Light Sabre of Imposed Choice'.

    2. Deltics

      Re: People are griping about the practicality of a "light sabre"?

      I think you'll find that most of the serious gripes are with the consistency within the fantasy. Or the aesthetics of this new facet of that fantasy.

      i.e. a) a guard that can be sliced through with ease isn't a guard at all (the base of the guards are mechanical/metal). That's a practical objection not with reference to external practicalities but based on the established "physics" *within* the fantasy.

      or b) it looks stupid (an objective opinion which by definition is neither valid nor invalid)

      1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: People are griping about the practicality of a "light sabre"?

        yeah, but consistency is a weird thing. Lots of fans have been expressing their disappointment that Episode VII doesn't follow the "canon" laid down in the extended universe books.

        One of the main characters in those novels is called "Lumiya" and she, I believe, uses a "Force Whip". Yep, that's a whip version of the lightsabre. Now, if you want silly I would say there it is.

        Further, there is precedent in the movies for customised lightsabres. Dookus' custom hilt is the obvious one, shaped into a traditional cavalry sabre grip for fencing, but Yoda's is little more than dagger sized to just about everyone else.

        Still further, if you extend the canon into the supporting games you will see lots of references to various combat styles employed by force wielders, often depending on the type of hilt/sabre in use and the physical abilities of the Jedi/Sith in question. Compare and contrast Yoda, Obi Wan and Vader for example.

        So yeah, don't knock the crossguard too much, it might just be a sign that the wielder has an alternative style which could be quite fun to watch.

        Anyway. Falcon. 'nuff said.

        I'm going now....

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Seems they're re-using stuff again...

    Solely judging from the trailer I do think that it gives away the impression that some people have a hard time coming up with new ideas, which would be my only gripe with all this.

    I mean; when looking at SW1 the double bladed lightsaber was a pretty nifty spinoff from the classic design. But this new design looks to me as if they desperately wanted something new (why?) and thus came up with this. Which leaves me wondering; what's wrong with the classic lightsaber design in the first place? Some things are good enough as it is and don't need constant evaluation.

    And well; when looking at the Falcon getting chased by tie fighters... Could be an interesting angle, but also makes one wonder; wasn't the empire overthrown? But most of all; wouldn't it be more interesting to add something new into the mix instead of re-using aspects from the past?

    Still, one way or the other: the trailer sure did its job well. After all; it got people to talk about Star Wars again, and sometimes pretty passionate too. Mission accomplished!

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Seems they're re-using stuff again...

      Assuming the Empire was overthrown you are still looking at at least Tie Advanced or Tie Defender there. As far as nearly any interpretation of the Star Wars universe in games, etc is concerned the Fighter was obsolete shortly after the beginning of the Rebellion when the Rebels deployed X-Wings instead of the ancient Z95 Headhunters.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: Seems they're re-using stuff again...

        Sod a new Elite (although I'm interested in that too), I want a modern version of Tie Fighter!

  12. Simon Davidson
    Childcatcher

    Merchandise

    Isn't it obvious, its about the merchandise. How many years have they been selling lightsabers, and then they started selling double ended lightsabers with E1. Now with E7 all the kiddies are going to chuck out their old ones and want a new one!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "The Force is strong in you, treacle."

    Will this be the film where 'Brick Vader' finally makes his appearance?

    I DO HOPE SO...

    1. ravenviz

      Re: "The Force is strong in you, treacle."

      Goody gumdrops!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WALT DISNEY Presents....STAR WARS

    It's got a robot in it like VINCENT out of the Black Hole and EVA out of WALL-E. With a little tweaking Jar Jar could look like Donald Duck........if LUCAS couldn't get it right then Hollywood's #1 fucknut Abrams has got no chance......someone should reboot him up the arse!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Han Solo, ex captain of the Millenium Falcon"

    STORMTROOPER: "ex captain?"

    HAN SOLO: "Yup, sold it on a couple of years ago, i've got an Oyster card now."

  16. Chris G Silver badge

    Even Fantasy Has to'Work'

    Fantasy it may be but it has to work or it lessens the enjoyment, while it may be possible to suspend disbelief for say things like faster than light travel with a lack of time dilation, when you accept a fantasy universe, there are still some things that just have to make common sense.

    Most European swords have been chopping or stabbing weapons, the style in Star Wars is more akin to oriental sword work, a samurai sword for example which is a single edged sword that cuts, when striking the blade doesn't just chop, it is drawn so that the edge effectively has a motion like carving meat, you use the back edge if you can to block an opponents' cut and if the blade slides down towards you the Tsuba should stop it. I use Chinese Shuang Jian which have two cutting edges so I can cut in both directions and use the flat of the blade to block. With a light sabre it can cut in any direction and seems to be able to block at any point where the beams touch, so, given the propensity of those beams to cut through almost anything, although they may be good for blocking cuts to the wrist or hands ( which are valid attacks in most sword forms) they are also a liability at any time that they come into contact with your own body unless they have properties that are not explained in the trailer.

    Personally making a light sabre look like an old European Grosse Messer

    ( http://www.armorymarek.com/two-handed-sword ) looks daft to me.

    1. Shugyosha
      Pirate

      Re: Even Fantasy Has to'Work'

      Pedant alert - when blocking with a samurai sword you would also use the flat of the blade rather than the back. Well, speaking as a Nidan in Muso Jikiden Eishin Ryu. Perhaps other styles block with the back edge, but I find it unlikely as you'd have to change grip to block then change grip again to counter, or contort your body into a position that would leave you unstable and open.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Problem with Lightsabres, is...

    They were invented before 'Glow Sticks'. Now, everytime i watch a lightsabre fight it just reminds me of two blokes, at a rave, trying to twat each other with Glow Sticks...it just looks silly now...

    1. BinkyTheHorse
      Happy

      Re: The Problem with Lightsabres, is...

      Either that was a Freudian slip from "thwack", or where you live glow sticks have a vastly different structure than what the rest of us are used to.

      1. Martin-73 Silver badge

        Re: The Problem with Lightsabres, is...

        Twat meaning 'to hit' is a dialectical usage in parts of the UK

        It's also an amusing word

      2. Alister Silver badge

        Re: The Problem with Lightsabres, is...

        @Binky

        to "twat" someone, in British slang, is to hit them, very hard. It's also used to convey a lack of sobriety, vis "I got totally twatted last night"... It's a useful word, in all sorts of ways.

        1. BinkyTheHorse
          Facepalm

          Re: The Problem with Lightsabres, is...

          Well, you learn something new everyday - thanks to both of you for that piece of info :).

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    EASTER EGG

    Wonder if they'll put the footage, in the Blu Ray, of Harrison Ford trapping his big toe in the door of the Millenium Falcon as a little treat for us all?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lets face it, STAR WARS has been on a downward Trajectory since...

    ...and including Return of the Jedi.....Ewoks.....a planet of 'Teddy Bears'....thats when Lucas turned to the Dark Side.......although at least there's no Yoda now, so...every cloud, etc.

    1. Keiron

      Re: Lets face it, STAR WARS has been on a downward Trajectory since...

      you say that but... they could have yoda back as a force spirit lol

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I KNOW HOW TO MAKE LIGHTSABRE FIGHTS MORE SCARY>>>

    >>>Are you ready?

    >>>Dub on the sound of a CHAINSAW!

    >>>Well, wot u fink?

  21. DougS Silver badge

    Why aren't light sabers longer?

    If we're going to complain about light saber technology, why aren't they 20 feet long, so you can fight someone with a shorter one at a safe distance? The "blade" is just light (that's somehow magically only going out so far) so it should be just as easy to wield.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why aren't light sabers longer?

      The PINOCCHIOSABRE or the HOLMESSABRE?

    2. Aqua Marina

      Re: Why aren't light sabers longer?

      Several of the extended universe books, have had that very same idea.

      http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dual-phase_lightsaber

    3. P. Lee Silver badge

      Re: Why aren't light sabers longer?

      See here: http://xkcd.com/1433/

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why aren't light sabers longer?

      An arbitrarily long light sabre?

      Maybe change the grip to make it easier to aim this long beam

      aaand add a sight so you can aim the beam reeeealllyy far away

      yeah, the infinite-length lightsabre is a blaster :)

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bloody Hell!!!

    SABER or SABRE....which is it???

  23. I Like Heckling
    Joke

    If only there was an Exibit icon

    YO!... I heard you like lightsabres, so we added lightsabres to your lightsabre, so you can lightsabre whilst lightsabering.

  24. ecofeco Silver badge

    A seriously underwhelming teaser

    Maybe it's just me, but that teaser was full of "meh."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A seriously underwhelming teaser

      Although, when the Falcon did the barrel roll and blitzed pass the tie fighters with John Williams score blazing away, i did feel the thrills & chills that i did as a kid when i first saw Star Wars in 77.

      1. ecofeco Silver badge

        Re: A seriously underwhelming teaser

        The ONLY good part of the teaser.

        They really need to get back to the "war" part and less of the personal drama crap.

  25. Mussie (Ed)

    Look its a kids flick get over it...

    Empire was the best of the lot anyway :P

  26. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

    A Light-Basket-Hilt

    would look Really cool. Also great for punching you opponent in the face when you go corp-a-corps, but you have to be very careful picking it up, if you like having fingers.

  27. M Gale
  28. SoaG

    Yes, yes, there's a hilt...

    ...but is it just me or does the blade (and mini-blades) look to be somewhere between jagged and flaming vs the all the movies/cartoons/book covers we've seen up to this point?

    1. stucs201

      Re: Yes, yes, there's a hilt...

      I though it was just me. The shape is one thing, but the blades themselves just don't quite look right, to flame/electric-arc like. Seems to appear rather quickly too. I'm wondering (hoping) if this isn't actually a lightsaber at all, but some other variant of energy sword.

      1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

        Re: Yes, yes, there's a hilt...

        It's a steampunk version. It works on kerosene and there is a small pump in the handle which you use to pressurise the fuel before lighting it up.

  29. Neoc

    Cross-guard makes *some* sense.

    If, according to mythos, the only thing that effectively stops a LS blade is another LS blade this is the only sort of cross-guard that is useful in LS combat. (note, I am not a SW fanatic, so I may be hopelessly outdated in my mythos)

    What it *does* tell me, though, is that in this trilogy we are likely to see LS combat move away from kendo-like moves and more towards medieval combat.

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Nah. Rubbish engineering

      Should have crossed the side-(burns? -lights? -sabres?) forward, over the main blade.

      Still stupid, though - you can never draw it quickly enough as it will snag in the folds of the Jedi robe/Sith cape/whatever...

  30. Captain DaFt

    Everybody's bent out of shape over that Lightsabre

    But there's worse to fear.

    This is Disney.

    They have another blockbusting franchise right now.

    Think... crossovers.

    They're probably planning to have Wolverine in it... With lightsabre claws!

    (Nobody knows his true origin or how old he really is... )

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: Everybody's bent out of shape over that Lightsabre

      Yes, this is for taking the Mickey out... If you try to stab him in the head and he ducks (he, he), at least you chop both of his ears off.

  31. OzBob

    Apparently the big meme so far

    is that there is a second black person in the Star Wars universe. And he's a storm-trooper.

    PS. What the special meaning of the droids and the rocks in the supercalifragalistic edition?

    1. NP-HARD
      Coat

      Re: Apparently the big meme so far

      GOATSE rocks.

      That is all.

    2. Adam Foxton

      Re: Apparently the big meme so far

      For EpIV special edition, Lucas had a bunch of rocks added to cover R2 when he's hiding. It looks ridiculous when you think about how he got into.this space in the first place...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apparently the big meme so far

      WRONG....there are THREE black dudes in the STAR WARS universe:

      Black Dude 1: Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams)

      Black Dude 2: Mace Windu (Samuel L Jackson)

      Black Dude 3: Er...New Black Dude (Er...don't know his name but he looks like a young Denzel Washington)

      QED.

  32. Chizo Ejindu

    If i may suggest a different hypothesis...

    Everyone seems to think the is just a badly designed crosspiece. Personally this makes no sense as we've not seen one up to now at lightsabres don't seem to slide up and down when they are clashed.

    If you look at the actual blade of the sabre, it looks really quite unstable - it looks thinner than every other blade we've seen and there's red ligtning coursing up and down. Perhaps this is a cobbled together lightsabre from old salvaged bits or a young sith's first build attempt without guidance that needs exhaust ports to prevent the thing from blowing up in the wielder's hand. If it was never designed as a handguard then the bits that stick out make more sense.

  33. TRT Silver badge

    The Falcon in atmospheric flight...

    Reminded me a bit of that StarTrek film that Jar Jar Abrams did. You know, the bit with the Enterprise coming out of the water, and the bit where space ships were doing atmospheric dives...

  34. IsJustabloke Silver badge

    Those sabres are an Abrahms wet dream...

    Imagine the lens flare he'll get off of those suckers.

    I found myself seriously underwhelmed by that trailer. I'm telling myself that its because I'm keeping my expectations low.

  35. NogginTheNog
    Thumb Up

    Hunk o' junk

    The X-Wings were quite cool, the droid worryingly cute, but when the Falcon burst in at 1:01 the adrenaline rushed and I was 10 years old again!

    BIIIIIIIIIGG grin!

  36. Stryker007

    needs more lense-flares

    Come on JJ!

  37. Keiron

    I love the lightsaber, its fricking awesome, i want to see a katana styled lightsaber!!!!! ninja jedi assassins ftw!!! (or sith even, ive always prefered the sith they have much better powers and who needs the goody goody restraints)

  38. Test Man

    Here's a thought. The Crossguard lightsabre is wielded by Luke Skywalker and the crossguard is there to stop his hand from being sliced again.

  39. deconstructionist

    reality bites

    actually as an Iiado junkie of many years lightsabers where always poorly designed as pusdeo swords, most sword fighting between two individuals ends up in sword dancing with both swords locked reverse or side on (kendo,kenjitsu,Iiado) one should always block with the reverse of blade, the cross guard(TUSBA) is vital as is the without this you will loose one on one in close quarters.

    the scenes in star wars with clash of sabers close would be extremely simple to lob of the fingers of your opponent or wedge your blade deep in a shoulder.

    So really this is the first proper light saber .

    1. Snapper
      Unhappy

      Re: reality bites

      It always worried me with the original swords, what happen if the blade slides do........ow! That's the five-fingered widow gone!

      A cross-piece/hand-guard is a standard item on nearly every sword ever made, designed to stop the opponents sword sliding down YOUR blade and hacking off the wanking equipment, so why should light-sabres be any different?

    2. Jagged
      Unhappy

      Re: reality bites

      Except, as others have already pointed out, with this one the opponents sabre slides down the light blade and meets exposed metal. Which, presumably, it slices right through :(

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gothic Looking Lightsabre.

    Looks nasty too, seems to be a beam of fire than a beam of light. Not sure if this aesthetic was in the original Ralph McQuarry artwork?

  41. Daz555

    Sword rocks according to 7yr old Star Wars nut.

    As for the cross-lightsword-whatsit - my 7 yr old son (massive Star Wars fan) jumped off the sofa when he saw it and shouted AWESOME!

    Looking at it as an adult fan it seems a bit daft but then again perhaps not. Ignoring some books for a while, in the films a lightsaber can cut through just about anything so surely a cross-guard would have to be made of light-sword-magic in order to be effective, no?

    Either way, my son's assessment is the only one which should matter here. This is Star Wars - it belonged to me when I was 7 in '77 and it should belong to my son today - not me. I hope to enjoy it, but if I enjoy it more than my son I'll regard the film as a failure.

    1. Jagged

      Re: Sword rocks according to 7yr old Star Wars nut.

      I applaud your sentiment.

      I introduced by son to Star Wars post prequels (ugh, what a horrid phrase), so he watched them all in story order. The only one he ever returns to is Empire Strikes Back. I honestly did my best not to cloud his experience with my opinion (he is often quite anti "Dad stuff") but he can't stand Jar Jar Binks and Annie either. So I don't buy the "for the kids" argument. They have similarly exacting standards.

      Either way, here's hoping your son's Star Wars is better than my son's, and lives up to ours ;)

  42. Astrohead

    A better XKCD

    I think this XKCD has a better take on the subject:

    http://xkcd.com/1397/

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well this teaser has been a triumph for Disney marketing.

    "Let's put a slightly different lightsabre in, that'll get us most commented on every tech news site known to man"

    A little amazed how such a tiny detail is the #1 item for discussion everywhere, but hey, I'm not a marketing genius!

  44. Spleen

    The crossguard things

    People have asked whether the crossguards wouldn't just be severed by the light blades. Isn't there a metal in the Star Wars universe that can block lightsabres? In the "Knights of the Old Republic" games, some non-Jedi characters carry swords which I'm sure were able (or seemed to be able) to block lightsabres. Your own character has to use them before they find out they're a Jedi. They were called "vibroblades" or something like that. Perhaps the crossguards are made from the same material.

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