back to article Oh BOY! The MICKEY MOUSE Apple Watch is no heart-throb

Apple has reached an agreement with Disney that will see Mickey Mouse telling the time on its new Watch device. Anyone who buys the new device will be able to select a number of watch faces, with one featuring the rodent star of 20th century kiddie culture. To satisfy fanbois' furious desire for information on the watch, …

  1. ZSn

    Anglerfish?

    Anglerfish are also notable for extreme sexual dimorphism and sexual parasitism of male anglerfish. In these species, males may be several orders of magnitude smaller than females. Or does this describing iphone users?

  2. Tim Roberts 1

    the fanbois will be upset

    Nice article ...... I had a good giggle but unfortunately you will no doubt upset the fanbois

  3. Chris G Silver badge

    Tat?

    To a Londoner if something is Mickey Mouse it's rubbish, the iWatch doesn't look that rubbishy just not sufficiently more useful than the iThing you already have to warrant buying it!

    Sending your heartbeat to someone?

    Sounds as though they are desperately looking for selling points, if they had a smellophone app maybe you could fart in the general direction of someone you dislike?

    1. Soap Distant
      Go

      Re: Tat?

      I've often wondered if anyone will invent or develop SoIP (Smell over IP) and what uses it could be put to.

      So maybe those fast food ordering pages could smell of pizza? You could make your FB page smell of BO when you've been for a run?

      Maybe Anonymous could all simultaneously fart at an unpopular target in teh interwebs? DoS (denial of Smell) attacks...

      That's probably enough. Especially given my handle...

      SD

      1. fandom

        Re: Tat?

        It was tried during the dot com bubble, they are still working on it

  4. NoneSuch Silver badge

    "A third range will be called Watch Edition and will be highly sought after by people with more money than sense (although some cynics would say that description could apply to all Apple fans)."

    Love it.

    1. Darryl

      And seriously? The 'watch edition' watch? What are the other ones? Socks and blenders?

    2. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
      Boffin

      ? More Money Than Sense ?

      First I agree that the selling point of sending someone your heart beat is silly.

      The point is that they are trying to say is that your watch is no longer just a watch.

      If you're old enough to remember when the first electronic LCD watches were introduced.. there were some high end models. Meaning those who bought gold cased plastic battery operated watches as jewelry. Does the author think those people as foolish also? (Most likely before Jasper's time).

      Now I can understand that... but then again, I'd want to add a Patek to my collection.

      The cool thing and selling point of the watch is that you can change the face at any time, depending on your mood.

      In terms of accuracy.... its a joke. Sure 50ms is good enough. Most likely they link to your phone and get the time from the closest cell tower.

      If you wanted better accuracy... you would take the radio signal from a known clock and known X,Y,Z coordinate. You know your approximate GPS location to within 100 meters. Now you can calculate the time fairly accurately. The other issue to consider is how often you do this and how accurate is the electric clock in the device?

      Now I would pay $$$ for a really accurate watch tied to GPS that did just that. One that could fit in to your pocket. For ~5K you could buy a base station clock for your network that does this.... but it won't fit in to your pocket... ;-)

      But I digress. Its an interesting toy... as a collectible... the higher end models may be worth the price.

      1. Salts

        Re: ? More Money Than Sense ?

        I always said for me to buy a smart watch it would have to look well smart, my other watches I like for the engineering and looks, the fact they tell the time is a bonus :-) I like the look of the watch edition, though honestly don't all watches have sapphire crystal glass, all mine do :-)

        Satnav hmmm I like that, perhaps in navigate mode you get one tap for turning left and two for turning right, that could work for me.

        Though it is apple, therefore best to wait for the watch second edition, therefore 2016 for me, if I decide to go for one.

  5. Slap

    What if you're mad like me

    "It uses multiple technologies in conjunction with your iPhone to keep time within 50 milliseconds of the definitive global time standard."

    What if you're a bit mad, like me, and keep your watch running a couple of minutes fast so you don't miss the bus, tram, train, boat or whatever?

    Anyway it still remains to be seen if the Apple marketing bulldozer can convince Joe Bloggs on the street to part with his hard earned on a device where several "competent" alternative products have failed to do so.

    Still a solution looking for a problem in my extremely worthy, and slightly mad, opinion.

    1. J 3
      Meh

      Re: What if you're mad like me

      "What if you're a bit mad, like me, and keep your watch running a couple of minutes fast so you don't miss the bus, tram, train, boat or whatever?"

      Problem is, besides being a bit mad, I'm also an adaptive bastard. So I got used to my watch being fast -- oh, that's OK, the watch is a few minutes fast, I've got time... Famous last words.

      1. DougS Silver badge

        Re: What if you're mad like me

        It would be interesting if they recognized that foible some have and had a setting for # minutes offset...

        Not sure what the point is since you'll still have highly accurate time on your phone, computer, TV, and so forth. Might have worked for some people 20 years ago, but I can't believe it fools anyone now.

      2. VinceH

        Re: What if you're mad like me

        "Problem is, besides being a bit mad, I'm also an adaptive bastard."

        Yup! My watch is always a couple of minutes fast because I habitually wait until the last minute... and now I ignore my watch because it's always a couple of minutes fast.

        I'M DOOMED! DOOMED, I TELL YOU!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What if you're mad like me

          Problem with setting your watch to the wrong time is other people may do the same or just have inaccurate watches - so you could set yours early - theirs may be running late - surely the sensible option is that they are all set correctly.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What if you're mad like me

      I guess you've never been walking dogs or cycling and can't easily get to your phone to see who has messaged or called. If you can see who is calling or who has messaged you might no need to bother getting your phone out (which might be in your backpack if cycling or you risk dropping it if you're trying to control dogs).

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Re: What if you're mad like me

      Or like me.

      "Oh that clock is wrong." And corrected the time.

      Then the person who used it was late as they were used to it having the wrong time

  6. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    In ten of fifteen years' time,

    We're going to look back and say "We shared *what*? Heartbeats? Medical data? What were we thinking?"

    1. Argh

      Re: In ten of fifteen years' time,

      I suspect that it may be more like "We only shared heartbeats and medical data?", as loved ones will share the composition of their excrement with each other, analysed by their iLoo.

  7. Shane Sturrock

    Satnav

    I was on the fence about it - I thought there might be some cool stuff and I liked the fitness features but I could just as easily get one of the many other fitness trackers for that. However, since I ride a motorcycle I had been hoping Google Glass would give me a working satnav solution for the road rather than a bulky phone case on my handlebars (which frankly don't have room for one, sport bike and all that) but then I found out the Apple Watch will allow you to navigate by tapping your wrist. OK, that's cool. Sold. Oh, and fishing my phone out to switch music tracks or struggling with the remote on the headphones (which I don't use because they're crap and I've got ATH-M50Xs instead), well the watch does that too.

    Like the iPad I suspect this is one of those 'I don't get it so it must be crap' situations, and once we've got the gadget we'll find all sorts of uses for it. Except the Edition version. That's going to be bonkers expensive so I'll likely get the cheap one to test the waters like I did with my first Mac, iPhone, iPad and so on.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Satnav

      "I'll likely get the cheap one to test the waters like I did with my first Mac,"

      Let us know how well it works as a satnav and media controller through those thick biker gloves ;-)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old joke.

    Does Mickey Mouse have a Tim Cook watch?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Old joke.

      No, he has an iPad Minnie.

      I thank you all.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The question is...

    ...are these things 'objects of desire' in the same way that an iPhone is?

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: The question is...

      That depends on why you think iPhones are "objects of desire". Apple can't make 150 million people a year buy something they don't need through clever marketing, but they can make people choose Apple over alternatives the meet the same/similar needs. If people see the Watch fulfilling a need they have - maybe that they didn't know they have until they saw there was something that could do it - it'll be an "object of desire"

      Still seems very unlikely it could ever get to sales figures like the iPhone, unless a killer app is found for smart watches that so far no one else has met or at least not nearly so well. It also will not have the short replacement cycle of phones which will hold it back from ever approaching iPhone sales figures (imagine how many fewer iPhones, Galaxy S / Note, and so on would be sold if people only bought a phone when the one they had before was broken)

  10. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    WTF?

    spontaneous

    "Wearers will receive a "gentle tap" on the wrist when a message arrives on their mobe and can connect with "favourite people in some new, spontaneous ways not possible with any other device".

    Reading that, I just spewed!

    1. VinceH

      Re: spontaneous

      " >"Wearers will receive a "gentle tap" on the wrist when a message arrives on their mobe and can connect with "favourite people in some new, spontaneous ways not possible with any other device".

      Reading that, I just spewed!"

      Reading that, I just imagined throwing the watch at someone's head. Although you can do that with other devices, so perhaps I misunderstood the point.

  11. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Nice.

    It looks good. Will work as a stand-alone unit or does it need the iPhone? If it needs an iPhone than it's just a pricey accessory.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nice.

      Same lock-in bullshiiiiit as Samsung, it's tied to the iPhone.

      .

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Nice.

        At least you are more likely to buy another iPhone next time and it's likely to still be worth something second hand. I'd be surprised if anyone would pay for one of those Samsung monstrosities new or used. Apple will probably ship more in the first week than they have shipped in 6 month?

  12. werdsmith Silver badge

    There are Mickey Mouse watchfaces available for the Pebble, have been for a long time. Probably not endorsed by Disney though. Their lawyers haven't got round to it yet.

  13. ratfox Silver badge

    Still not convinced by the crown

    This is the company that got out a smartphone with a single button, and everybody called them crazy, and it was incredibly successful. What the heck are they doing adding a crown?? How about just using the touch screen?

    Oh, and keeping the time within 50 milliseconds: I consider myself a freak because I want my wristwatch to be within 5 seconds of the exact time… But I don't really see why I would need a hundredfold increase in precision.

    So far, it feels like the best use case is a remote control for the phone.

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Still not convinced by the crown

      Not much room to accurately touch on a screen that's less than 10% the area of a typical phone screen with big fat fingers. Apple does a pretty good job of thinking through the UI, so I think the digital crown will turn out to be useful, and competing smart watches that are touch only will end up adding something similar.

      As for the 50 ms, that is beyond most needs but over the years many watches have used accuracy as a defining feature to indicate quality. Not all certainly, but it is not uncommon. By claiming accuracy better than any watch that doesn't get the radio time signal can claim, they figure it'll appeal to people have heard claims about accuracy before and connote "quality" in their mind.

      The mention of accuracy and calling it a "digital crown" (look at the Rolex logo) are both subtle attempts to appeal to people who have owned high end watches for fashion. Not the ones who are all the way up in Rolex territory, but certainly those who have moved well beyond the Timex category and maybe dream of someday owning a Rolex. This is all part of trying to appeal to people as a fashion item even if they don't really need a smartwatch (because, let's be honest here, other than for fitness tracking smart watches have no reason for existing until someone finds that killer app)

      1. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge

        Re: Still not convinced by the crown

        "The mention of accuracy and calling it a "digital crown" (look at the Rolex logo) are both subtle attempts to appeal to people who have owned high end watches for fashion. Not the ones who are all the way up in Rolex territory, but certainly those who have moved well beyond the Timex category and maybe dream of someday owning a Rolex. This is all part of trying to appeal to people as a fashion item even if they don't really need a smartwatch (because, let's be honest here, other than for fitness tracking smart watches have no reason for existing until someone finds that killer app)"

        If you think of Rolex as 'high end'... then you don't know watches. ;-)

        There is something about owning a mechanical watch that will keep good enough time, but never as good as a cheap timex electric. You have to admire the craftsman. And then the artistry of the watch. That's why you pay $$$$. Would you rather own a Porche or a Ford?

        1. Zack Mollusc

          Re: Still not convinced by the crown

          Depends which porche and which ford. Also depends if you are going to use it or just be seen to own it (or own it to be seen in it ).

        2. NumptyScrub

          Re: Still not convinced by the crown

          Would you rather own a Porche or a Ford?

          I'd take a GT40 over a Porsche Boxster any day of any week, although I'd struggle to choose between a Mustang GT500 and a 911 GT3 RS (you can keep the Cayenne and the Boxster thanks).

          I also can't see the point of paying the premium for a Breitling or Patek Philippe when a top of the range Casio G-Shock can do much the same job for 10% of the cost. I see the appeal, but it is in brand only; you wear it because it is a Breitling, not because it is chronographically superior to cheaper watches.

          I know a few people who like chronographs, and unless I am mistaken, the yearly servicing cost for a Breitling will get you a brand new mid-range Casio that you can then discard 12 months later for a new one.

          I am the polar opposite of the target market for the Apple Watch ^^;

          1. MJI Silver badge

            Re: Still not convinced by the crown

            Boxster - they are OK, but after driving one I did not feel bothered by getting into what was then (RIP) a 10 year old Vauxhall.

            GT40 nice, 911 over the Mustang I think and Cayenne well I don't like them, I prefer 4x4 from Solihul.

            1. Chris G Silver badge

              Re: Still not convinced by the crown

              Last year I did some driving for a very wealthy client, he had both a Cayenne and a Disco TD4 V6. He preferred the Disco in general and I rated the Disco as better than the Cayenne on a schlepp down the same country lane. I was surprised at how poor the Porsche was as a drivers car, basically an up market 4WD shopping trolley.

              The Landy had a better Satnav and UI as well.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Still not convinced by the crown

      It's a zoom dial for zooming in (which you probably won't do that much). It's still a touchscreen phone.

  14. Frankee Llonnygog

    Hamill time

    Jasper's started using the royal we. His descent into full clockwork orange status can't be far off.

    Daft as a mahogany frying pan

    1. ashdav
      Joke

      Re: Hamill time

      Well my mahogany frying pan works just fine.

      As does my toaster...... Wibble

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: Hamill time

        I'm curious, what does fried mahogany taste like?

        1. ashdav

          Re: Hamill time

          Fried mahogany of course (as any fule kno)

        2. VinceH

          Re: Hamill time

          Chicken.

          1. Frankee Llonnygog

            Re: Hamill time

            Oh, go wind your oranges!

  15. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Fitness monitoring?

    "The device has several fitness apps which will nag you if you haven't done your 30 minutes of exercise a day"

    Does wanking count?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Fitness monitoring?

      @John Brown: Oh yes... yes! YES!

  16. skeptical i
    Meh

    Not for southpaws, alas.

    My amigo is left-handed. Extremely left-handed. Many lefties simply make due with using their right hand for most tasks, however suboptimally, but my amigo does not. So imagine my surprise to hear that the iWatch is not designed to be ambidextrously used: the crown and magic button are both on one side (instead of the crown centered on one side, the button centered on the other opposite, and the display able to be flipped 180 degrees). Granted, extreme southpaws are likely only a small fraction of the potential market, but for a company known for its attention to the UI experience and whose trademark is "it just works" this seems an odd oversight.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Not for southpaws, alas.

      It's a sinister plot!

      1. Swarthy Silver badge

        Re: Not for southpaws, alas.

        It's a sinister plot!
        No, It's a Dexterous one.

  17. A Dawson

    I'm sure this has been said before but those are some hideous looking watches.

  18. Confuciousmobil

    Who?

    Who are the target market? Most of my family own iPhones and iPads but I have a watch I like and wouldn't swap it for something cheap and tacky like this. My children don't wear watches or see the point in them. I can't see who would actually buy such a thing.

    Which means they are likely to be ubiquitous next year.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who?

      Hipsters?

    2. D@v3

      Re: Who?

      tacky? maybe. Cheap? Unlikely.

  19. darklordsid
    Joke

    Pebble...

    Capt. Obvious says: "unless they get closer to Pebble in terms of battery life, it will be an hassle to use such watches. Oh, and btw Pebble integration with iOS is quite satisfactory."

    Apple uses "Marketing" against Capt. Obvious

    Marketing is super effective...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Pebble...

      Problem with Pebble is the battery life is good for a few months and then gets really shitty, the case is glued shut (in the original, not sure about the Steel) and so there's sod all you can do about it.

      Even though Pebble and some Fitbit fitness trackers are waterproof, it's completely pointless for them to be waterproof if wearing them in hot water destroys the battery life (lithium ion batteries don't like heat).

      1. darklordsid

        Re: Pebble...

        Even best battery degrades with time/use, of course some months it is not a satisfactory lifespan if the darn thing is glued (or, in other devices, fixed with arcane proprietary screws).

        About problem in hot water, IMHO fitness smartwatches are meant for dealing with some water drops (or swimming in cold water in best cases) without electrocuting the user, rather than taking long hot baths or sauna, and in any case the watch is subject to be constantly heated from 37°C body contact so it should resist to less-than-burning water.

      2. killban1971
        FAIL

        Re: Pebble...

        Nice attempt at a troll, but, my Pebble battery still gives around 6-7 days of charge.

        Kickstarter edition, and worn daily since receiving it.

  20. Brettdrum

    Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

    We're all crying onto our Macbooks that start up faster and never break , we all suffer with our iphones that we love and use all day long . We wish we were not under Apple's evil charm and could own Samsungs with green coloured screens and apps that don't work ... or perhaps were still using Blackberries where all we could see was keyboards .. Yes its a sad life being tricked into buying the best quality inventions ever made , we wish we could buy cheap rip off crap like everyone else and save a few pounds. How did we get into this mess ? Take away our ecosystem that allows us to use all our devices seamlessly , never crashing , no DLL's or automatic startups , or control panels or tweaking our home screen to look just like we want it to look but makes no sense ... Dude ... if you want to drive a Toyota, feel free but stop staring out the windows and cursing the Mercedes owners. Oh and by the way .. when the watch flies off the shelves and you end up with your cheap one made by whoever that looks identical ... dont thank Apple for getting that right too.

    1. fandom
      Thumb Up

      Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

      That was a great fanboy parody

    2. VinceH

      Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

      Nurse! Get the emergency room ready, stat - we have a Kool-Aid overdose coming in!

      1. Handy Plough

        Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

        Vince, you just drink a different flavour.

        1. VinceH

          Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

          I don't know what you could possibly mean.

          *hic*

    3. cambsukguy

      Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

      Good one. The only time I can recall someone showing off a MacBook to me was a guy with a MacBook Air showing how cool it was.

      It looked exactly like all other macs on screen though, what appears cool seems to be the hardware.

      Anyhoo, within 10 seconds of showing me the coolness (it had menus or a bash console or something clever), it crashed, the whole machine, black, useless, then rebooted.

      Plaintively followed by "Oh! That never happened before", which may have been true in his case since he only had it a short time (it was new after all).

      Having not had a BSOD myself for a very long time, it was interesting to say the least. The NT desktop I had there managed to run 14 months (i.e. continuously for all the time I was working there - because the IT dept. neglected to remotely update it).

      Turns out that MacBook Airs had dodgy processors that kept shutting down one of the two cores because of overheating and sometimes this also crashed the machine.

      So much for just works, you can keep it.

      1. VinceH

        Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

        "So much for just works, you can keep it."

        They're also so easy to use that I can see emails from clients that use them in which their sigs are b0rked - just glancing at three in my inbox now:

        • One can't get a company logo to appear.
        • Another has his own company logo, but the link is to a different company's website (which the alt text also references).
        • And in another I can see one person's email address in the sig, with the mailto: being to someone else at the same company.

        Yup. Keep 'em.

        1. Handy Plough

          Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

          And your first impression is that it's the computer, and not the fuckwit setting it up? Vince, what ever you are charging, it's far too much.

          As for the muppet from Cambridge, you see reboot and that's it? I have a MacBook Air which came with OS X 10.7 and is now running 10.10. I have never once seen a kernel panic. I haven't seen one on Mrs. Plough's or one on my iMac either. So my anecdata of three beats your made-up-on-the-spot anecdata of one. You are welcome to your Windows PC's, on which of which I have seen many BSOD's including one on a brand-new, out-of-the-box HP zBook 14 just last Tuesday. £1500 PoS.

          1. VinceH

            Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

            "And your first impression is that it's the computer, and not the fuckwit setting it up? "

            Well, I try not to call my clients fuckwits - even when I think they are. It's bad for business.

            What I see is three people and their three faulty sigs - all with one thing in common; their preferred computer platform. That commonality is why I think I'm justified in my criticism.

            But, just to clarify, that criticism isn't that Apple's computers are crap; I've not used one anywhere near enough to form a proper opinion - my dislike of Apple means a dislike of their computers, but doesn't somehow magic up experience of them that I don't have.

            The criticism is that the 'proper' fanbois (sadly including the three I mentioned) praise them, saying how wonderful they are, how easy they are to set up and use, how they just work, etc, etc, yada-yada-bloody-yada - to the extent that they seem to believe they are somehow idiot proof, and nothing can possibly go wrong...

            And yet these three, by not having been able to achieve something as simple as set up a sig properly, are demonstrating quite the opposite. Hence my comment that they're "so easy to use that I can see emails from clients that use them in which their sigs are b0rked" - a straight on perfectly accurate summary of what I hear (these computers are so easy to set up and use) juxtaposed with what I see (three duff sigs).

            Yes, the problem might very well be a PEBKAC one - and, indeed, probably is - but it's demonstrating that the computers can't be that easy to use and set up, and aren't that foolproof. If they were, their sigs wouldn't be b0rked. It's that simple.

            1. Handy Plough

              Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

              Downvote all you like Vince, the fact remains that 'three duff sigs' isn't an indication that a system is hard to use or inherently flawed. It's and indication that the individual that set them up is at best sloppy, but more likely an idiot. The real idiot of this piece though is the idiot claiming the platform is flawed as a result of this.

              1. VinceH

                Re: Us poor Apple fans, can't help ourselves being tricked.

                "Downvote all you like Vince,

                Hello, pot.

                "the fact remains that 'three duff sigs' isn't an indication that a system is hard to use or inherently flawed."

                I didn't say it was either of those things. I said that three different people all have a clear and obvious problem using the same system is indicative that that system is not as easy to use and foolproof as many people claim.

                "It's and indication that the individual that set them up is at best sloppy, but more likely an idiot. The real idiot of this piece though is the idiot claiming the platform is flawed as a result of this."

                I'd suggest the real idiot is the one who can't understand simple English - and seems to be taking personally any form of criticism of what must be his favourite platform.

                Hint: Saying something is not as easy to use as many claim is NOT the same as saying it is hard to use, and nor is it the same as saying it is flawed.

  21. James-K

    Still using the term "Fanbois"..... really?

    It's getting really annoying that every single article you write that contains a reference to an Apple product, leads to you referring to Apple users as 'fanbois'. It was mildly amusing the first few times you used it, but now it's just plain annoying and actually detracts from what you are writing. I'm not even an Apple user and it annoys me, so I can't imagine how the 'fanbois' must feel (see it sounds stupid doesn't it).

    Please start writing grown-up articles again, like you do with every other tech manufacturer and drop the 'fanboi' nonsense.

    1. Magnus Ramage

      Re: Still using the term "Fanbois"..... really?

      Standard Reg style - mildly snarky, full of in-jokes. I've never seen the term 'fanboi' applied to all Apple users, just to those who are a bit over the top about it - queueing for three days to be the first to get a product they could have delivered online the same day, that kind of thing. Mildly insulting but basically knowing names are available for fans of other technologies.

      1. Handy Plough

        Re: Still using the term "Fanbois"..... really?

        It's not anymore though. It used be like that, but Jasper is a self parodying hack. He couldn't be balanced if his life depended on it. Literally the worst "writer" that has ever been on the staff at el reg. He should go back to music churnalism, where he belongs.

    2. DiViDeD Silver badge

      Re: Still using the term "Fanbois"..... really?

      The day el Reg starts writing grown up articles is the day I regretfully take my ball and look for another playground.

      I tried grown up once. Didn't really take to it.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interestingly the Microsoft Band is not tied to a specific platform, and has apps for Android and IOS, as well as Windows Phone.

    Although Cortana is still only available to Winpho users.

    1. cambsukguy

      Well it would be wouldn't it?

      Is Siri going to be available for iPhone users?

      And Google Now for Android users?

      It seems reasonable and possible since having a fitness app for all is harder than simply calling up existing functionality.

      I, for one, would like Cortana to actually be available now without shenanigans, I want to find out if it really does say "You are at Tesco and you asked me to remind you to get %uncommon_item"

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Michael Habel Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Far out in the uncharted Backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded Yellow Sun.

    Orbiting this at a distance of roughly Ninety-eight million Miles is an utterly insignificant little Blue-green Planet whose Ape-descended Life-forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think Digital (Smart), Watches are a pretty neat idea!

    This Planet has a problem, which is this: most of the people on it are unhappy for pretty much of the Time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of Small Green pieces of Paper, (Needed to buy the aforementioned Smart Watches.), which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the Small Green pieces of Paper that were unhappy.

    And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with Digital (Smart), Watches. That probably didn't even last a full Day on its last charge!

    *The Thumb is a small Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic... 'Cause its now high time to leave this place!

    1. Jes.e

      Far out in the uncharted Backwaters

      Thank you Douglas (and Michael).

      Puts things in perspective seeing it's Black Friday here in 'Murica and now over with you in the UK and elsewhere..

      Happy holidays!

  25. Simon Harris Silver badge
    Coat

    Nag nag nag

    "The device has several fitness apps which will nag you if you haven't done your 30 minutes of exercise a day"

    unlike the Microsoft offering which will nag you if you haven't done your 30 minutes of Windows updates a day.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What we need is a fatness app that nags you to eat more lard, burgers and cream cakes. "Dude! You can still see your feet. Put the frickin coffee down, and hit Mac Ds right now!" ...buurrrrp! "Thanks Siri!"

  27. Joe Gurman

    "More money than sense"

    Odd, I always thought that applied to anyone who voluntarily coughed up their own cash to use Windows. Value for money and price are rarely correlated one to one.

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