back to article Mysterious BEAM outside London Googleplex ZAPPED

Workmen are digging up the spot outside Google's London headquarters where a mysterious "beam" once made pedestrians' hair stand on end. Dotted around two freshly dug holes were small signs which said "beware: fibre optic cables" and the remnants of a police cordon. The holes were on the same spot where the odd force was …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can I be first?

    It's GCHQ tapping into Google's worldwide data!

    And the mysterious beam- obviously the feed up to the Goggleplex's Elysium mothership! Or the souls of a billion artists, slurped by Google with no recompense.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Can I be first?

      So that would explain the recent large disturbance in the Force.

      1. Martin-73 Silver badge

        Re: Can I be first?

        It's as if a million voices suddenly called out, and then were intercepted

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: Can I be first?

          Thanks, now I need a new poncy, choccy, floppy whoppy latte.

  2. Camilla Smythe

    Wuh...!?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q2OodKbztc

    Assuming the 'video' is a screenshot of the bloke who is having his hair go all 'spikey' due to static charge why is the commentator flicking his arrow thing about background objects such as the roof of a car parked to the rear left and what might be the porch above a door entrance behind the bloke?

    1. VinceH

      Re: Wuh...!?

      This might help.

    2. Pookietoo

      Re: why is the commentator

      All we need now is Alex Zane to comment on the commentator whose video about a video is just a sad attempt to get views/clicks and thence fame on the interwebs.

  3. Filippo Silver badge

    Mysterious force in London

    Doesn't roughly one Doctor Who episode out of three begin pretty much like this?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mysterious force in London

      Right, usually with Captain Jack Harkness rising up to street level out of a hidden opening.

      Of course a force field could just be a safety precaution in case one of the latest SHAFT models goes crazy. Kind of like what happened with the old ED-109:

      http://youtu.be/_mqDjcGgE5I

      A force field would have come in real handy there.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's the two Enlightened portals

    They have been level 8 for a while, the XM generated must be crazy.

    1. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

      Thetans

      Thetans everywhere

  5. Rufus McDufus

    Proof that Google are planning on charging the man in the street.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Coat...NOW!

  6. frank ly

    "beware: fibre optic cables"

    Is that because the broken ends can stab into you then snap off and cause all sorts of problems?

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Re: "beware: fibre optic cables"

      It's really because they come with gold-plated plugs and Google doesn't want you stealing them.

    2. Christian Berger

      No it's because

      ...when you break them, you'll have mobs of angry nerds trying to get you.

    3. Richard 12 Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: "beware: fibre optic cables"

      Nope it's just a "DO NOT DIG HERE" sign laid in the ground a couple of inches above the fibre, in the vain hope that it'll reduce the chances of some muppet cutting the cable.

      The better sign is "HIGH VOLTAGE CABLE", as JCB drivers tend to pay more attention to those due to the really loud bang that happens when they dig through those.

  7. Christian Berger

    Most likely a hoax or misunderstanding

    A static electric field is hard to maintain under real life conditions. If it's to strong it'll build an arc and even if it's weak objects will gradually discharge themselves, particularly in moist situations, also large metal plates in public spaces are usually grounded for lightning protection.

    Cables in the ground cannot be the cause as even if they are not explicitly shielded, they are shielded by the ground.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Most likely a hoax or misunderstanding

      Yes, I can believe that. Many's the time I've discharged myself during a moist situation.*

      * I really am very, very, very sorry, but I felt compelled to post, especially with the recent run of racy headlines in el Reg.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The cause

    I blame those Reddit users. For most things.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pfft, obvious innit...

    Somebody entered Higgs boson into Google, the search algorithms found it but created a black hole in the process.

  10. Daggerchild Silver badge

    Astral eddy. Known issue with current mystechnology.

    Properly insulating the mystic altars is an absolute sod. Especially in a city the size of London with all this astral noise. You're bound to bleed energies if you inkjet print the blood runes like Google do - the heads can clog and quality control is important!

    Besides, they aren't hard to avoid. Has nobody checked Google's ley-line maps or Google Unearth? Just restrict search results to those for the next 24 hours.

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Astral eddy. Known issue with current mystechnology.

      You can't inkjet print blood runes, everybody knows that - the nozzles are too small, so you end up with a hemolytic mess.

      Plotters are much better, but interns are cheaper and come with free ink.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        Re: Astral eddy. Known issue with current mystechnology.

        Yes you can using the right print head (HP do a nice 'Lovecraft range) but it only works on vellum (intern derived preferred)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In all seriousness....

    ...shouldn't this be a job for the Health & Safety Executive? If the public are being affected by this unknown static discharge, then surely someone should be investigating this as a matter of urgency?

    1. Killing Time

      Re: In all seriousness....

      So who would be conducting this investigation, the HSE police?

      Has anyone been injured, has anyone been killed? No, from what has been reported some bloke has been saved a bit of hair gel.

      Despite popular belief the HSE get directly involved after the event to establish potential negligence, prior to it they issue advice and guidance.

      I am not a fan of theirs particularly but I would prefer their brief as it is thanks.....

      PS. the cables aren't shielded, but they are probably armoured and the armouring connected to earth, if the earth connection is dodgy then magnetic induction can take place locally.

      1. David Pollard

        Re: In all seriousness....

        "So who would be conducting this investigation, the HSE police?"

        Clearly it needs a call to Professor Quatermass.

        Details here for those who missed it back in the day:

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quatermass_and_the_Pit

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

          Re: In all seriousness....

          Suitably updated for 21st century mindsets:

          An invisible charge

          Building in your hair

          Who you gonna call?

          ELF SAFETY!

          If there's something weird

          Happening in your street.

          Who you gonna call?

          ELF SAFETY!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Go

            Re: In all seriousness....

            Wait, we have invisible forcefields and unsafe elfs??

            I'm thinking passageway into Narnia!!

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: In all seriousness....

      then surely someone should be investigating this as a matter of urgency?

      They'll be on it as soon as they get back from Loch Ness.

  12. Conundrum1885

    Re. force field

    Anecdotal reports of "force field" like effects have been noticed by Bill Beaty of amasci.com fame, typically in plastics factories handling large amounts of glossy sheets of PET/PEEK/etc.

    Usually it goes away if the humidity changes so it is possible that this was indeed the fix.

    I actually had a similar effect manifest itself once (only!) when messing with miniature Tesla Coil, in my case a piece of equipment across the room levitated for a split second and for only a moment as I reached across to turn it off felt something grab my shoulder (seriously!) despite being well away from the charged parts.

    This was running from a bodged setup involving CCFL inverters wired in parallel, homemade Veroboard spark gap, internal 9 turn primary and a clock wire 4" secondary which after said event got sent to a fellow TC'er as a freebie.

    Come to think of it, haven't heard from the guy since...

  13. Chris G

    Assimilation Ray

    How many people have disappeared this week from London?

    They've been Borged into the Hive Mind.

  14. ma1010
    Alien

    The Answer is Out There

    Aliens must be involved here somewhere. Quite possibly in conjunction with Google. Or is Google merely a front for THEM???

    Excuse me, got to go and get my tinfoil hat.

  15. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Wind

    Glacier Point in Yosemite often has electrically charged wind from a mix of glaciers, sun-baked rocks, and a few thousand feet of elevation to generate turbulence. Your hair messes up, your clothes stick to your body like they're wet, and you can feel a slight tingling when you move. The wind will blow your hair up and it will stay up. (I don't recommend stopping for selfies on the edge of the rock when this happens.)

    This being far from glaciers and baking sunshine, I'd suspect it's just an updraft.

  16. Tezfair
    Pirate

    I know what it is..

    Wireless charging spot for Android tablets

    1. Ben Bonsall

      Re: I know what it is..

      Wireless charging spot for Androids tablets

      Fixed it for you :)

  17. TheRealRoland

    Something that's been in the news lately over here in Chicago - lamp posts are leaking electricity into the ground, which then causes other metal objects close by to conduct that electricity.

    Haven't been able to find the actual article, but it has been used on TV as a 'magnet' to draw viewers to the 9pm news.

    1. TheRealRoland

      Ah, here it is:

      http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/11/25/2-investigators-stray-electricity-poses-hidden-danger/

  18. A Known Coward

    Damaged high voltage cable?

    It's the obvious answer, surely?

    The electrician helpfully noted that those cables are normally shielded, but if they've been damaged then that shielding is compromised. London is experiencing a lot of problems with underground power cables lately, with multiple explosions as water gets into damage connections. This would then explain why they are now digging up the street and why they turned off power to the street while doing the work.

  19. Ivan Headache

    Hair? What about arms?

    If you look at Streetview outside of the Googleplex just where the reported incidents have been taking place, you'll see lost of people standing around - and it's making the arms of many of them rise up above their heads.

    There is something there, I'm positive!

  20. Winkypop Silver badge
    Holmes

    How far away is the nearest Apple store?

    Maybe the Apple Reality Distortion Field [TM] has been connected to Google HQ.

    Don't cross the streams!

  21. getHandle

    With that concentration of slightly demonic programmers nearby...

    I'd say it's a job for The Laundry!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Terminator

      Re: With that concentration of slightly demonic programmers nearby...

      or the Midnight Mayor & his sinister Aldermen

  22. Lamont Cranston

    A system that delivers electrical shocks to anyone filming with their phone held in portrait?

    We need more of these things.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    OMG!

    The umpa lumpas are rebuilding Tesla's Wardenclyffe Tower, I knew it!

    Wahoo! free electricity!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I found the belief that a building site electrician would know....

    ....anything at all about physics, unbelievable, they are only required to be competent not knowlegible.

    1. trance gemini
      Headmaster

      ... and probably illiterate and syntactically challenged also?

      it's common knowledge that refuse collection operatives and site sparks hold the keys to reality

      E just for the cerebral effort it must have taken you to click the AC checkbox

  25. tony2heads
    Trollface

    field

    They are trying to recreate the Apple Reality Distortion field

  26. tiger99

    There are more credible explanations, with daft and unnecessary causes

    Are they using ultrasound sensors on the driverless cars, and are they doing any experimentation on that therein? The SPL of a simple ultrasound burglar alarm (you see very few of these nowadays) used to be about 140dB, and an expert from NPL told me that he strongly suspected that ultrasound was as dangerous as audible sound, both to the ears and other body parts. Sustained 110dB is dangerous to ears and causes headaches, 140dB is 30 times worse! But, as with lasers, people were ignoring the safety aspects of what they can't see or hear. Testing these pesky burglar alarms in the lab was making people ill.

    As to electromagnetic effects, quite possibly, broken armouring and screening (there is a screen on high voltage underground cables) could be causing a dangerous voltage gradient across the ground surface, but I don't think that would account for the symptoms. It is likely that there was a faulty cable, probably unrelated.

    There could be a dangerous medium to high frequency electric and/or magnetic field if anyone was using "contactless" charging technology at more than a very minimal power level. Again, suspect electric cars and other high tech ideas, where people with much enthusiasm and no common sense have ignored the major drawbacks. Never mind the health risk, there is an efficiency loss and needless energy waste, which is not in keeping with the fine idea of things like electric propulsion.

    Let's get real, people, and make all our fine ideas work, without the daft and pointless features. Use a clever plug and socket for energy transfer, for instance, or low power microwave and optical (eye-safe diffused laser beam, for instance) for obstacle sensors, etc. No daft things like high power sub- or super-sonics, eye-dangerous lasers, high EM filelds, etc. You can do everything that you need, and do it well, without any of those.

  27. Nick Pettefar

    Is Anyone

    thinking of the children?!

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