This just in...
"It may be that seals see other animals attacking penguins and then decide to copy them."
"T'was the researches what done it first", said a penguin speaking to reporters under condition of anonymity.
Boffins have shot shocking footage of seals trying to rape penguins, which are normally one of their food sources. A team of scientists has captured frank images of fur seals mounting king penguins, who are powerless to resist the sea-borne sex pests. Animal experts working on the Marion Island, near the Antarctic, found the …
Not anything about OSS I hope, but on a more "serious" note, I believe we have all had dogs fucking up our legs, and I have known guys who in the morning did not believe what they had managed to fuck up. All about us "men", I would think. My old mother once told me she liked wild life programs on the telly but that she was a bit fucked up with all the fucking in each program. I think there was a program showing two fucking whales, first ever on TV and I think they got the Pulitzer Prize or something. I think some boffins are too obsessed with animal sex, high time of course seen from a Victorian perspective. And I am sure there must have been a shepherd who fucked a sheep and then ate it. Sometimes I think that happened to the Neanderthals too. I miss a shut up icon badly.
>I think some boffins are too obsessed with animal sex
"Honestly I did not expect that follow up sightings of a similar nature to that 2006 one would ever be made again, and certainly not on multiple occasions," said Nico de Bruyn, who was wearing a Tuxedo, and had a mackrel in his back pocket.
I have a stain on my car seat right between my legs as a result of some mayonnaise type crud spurting forth from a big mac, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it and not being the worlds most elgeant eater it is believable. I've tried everything to get rid of it including various chemical products and steam cleaning. It goes away for a while then comes back again like the ghost of some unhappy cow/horse/other that transferred it's spirit to the sauce. Hopefully when you eat the stuff it passes straight through your gut. Any tips on removing McDonald's mayonnaise stains will be greatly appreciated.
Disclaimer: This was an unfortunate incident due to inexperience with McDonlads cuisine, I must have eaten their products no more than a handful of times.
Ah, someone doubts my tale. There are two facts which cannot be denied, mainly I am a sloppy eater and secondly that McDonalds grunge leaves an indelible stain on car seats.
May I add that to get through university I worked with a contract cleaner and know a thing or two about removing stains. I've cleaned offices top to bottom, restaurants that have been closed down by health inspectors, urinals that needed protective suits because of the rather nasty chemicals being sprayed around and had nose bleeds from the fumes of ammonia being heated in a tea urn. warm ammonia cuts through crap a lot quicker than cold. There is not a stain I have not been able to remove until this one.
If hybrids were named consistently like Tigons and Ligers then the offspring would be a Sealguin. A Pengseal would have a penguin father. At a brief glance, the names are not consistent for example the offspring of a male sheep and female goat is a geep. That could be an exception because shoat is another word for piglet.
I am not expecting sealguins to hatch any time soon because seals and penguins are not in the same class, let alone species. Despite a certain Elephant's best efforts, an Elerhino is not likely either.
"Most of the time, the penguin is let go, but on one occasion the sadistic seal killed and ate its target."
That would explain my lack of sucess with birds. I have been eating the target prior to mounting it and not the other way around.
The SEALs killed Bin Laden doncha <sic> know, so they can be awkward buggers.
Warning: the following torture of the English language may cause as much pain as being squashed under a fur seal.
Maybe penguinistas should start a special interest group called:
I didn’t see a mention of it, but what do we know about these penguins that were allegedly attacked? Were they of previously chaste character? Swimming in a way that could be seen as a provocation to the seals? Did anybody hear the penguin say no? I think these poor researchers have become unwitting pawns in these tawdry shenanigans to entrap a husband.
They must be doing something because if the seals have learned the behaviour from others then it's not only the seals who are having a go. Maybe it's the way they wiggle their cute little butts when they walk, that always works for me, with females you understand, human ones.
Many, many years ago I was doing a PhD on the sex pheromones of some plant parasitic nematodes. The easiest way to tell if a male nematode thinks is chemical is sexy is to make a very thin layer of plain agar gel on a petri dish, put some of the chemical in the middle, wait a bit for a chemical gradient to form and then see if the male nematode moves towards it.
Now, there are several problems here. You have to know how long to wait for the pheromone chemical to form a gradient, and you also want to know how long it takes for the gradient to completely smooth out so that all it does is makes the nematode move about a bit faster, but completely aimlessly. The way to resolve this is by filming the responses of these nematodes.
This isn't easy. You're talking about a one millimeter long animal, which is almost transparent, moving in the film of water on a thin layer of gel, which you also do not want to dry out at all during filming. So, you build a box and put the petri dish on a small platform (with a dark background) and surround it with water, put a thin glass sheet over this (waterproofed with anti-mist spray or it'll mist up) and illuminate from the side with a cooled light source.
I did all this, and am proud to say that I solved the problem of how to set up a working sex pheromone test system. I also filmed the world's most boring sex-related videos in the history of the world which didn't actually feature any sex at all, but which had to be watched on fast-forward to see any movement at all.
You will be glad to know that these are now lost to posterity.
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