back to article Google Glassholes are undateable – HP exec

Hoping to woo the ladies with your shiny new Google Glass? Don't bother, because no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre, an HP bigwig has claimed. Ray Edwards, managing director for HP’s New Ventures division at Network Portfolio and Architecture, reportedly slammed the sex appeal of …

  1. Semtex451 Silver badge
    Coat

    "products which are as pretty as the M25* in wintertime"

    What, you don't think DL380s are sexy?

    But then I think the wider parts of the M25 are sexy.

    *For Leftpondians the M25 is a big road encircling London, Englandland

    1. PleebSmash
      Paris Hilton

      Now an HP scanner - that can be sexy.

      1. psychonaut

        an excuse to write the word dick (phillip k)

        maybe if hp did a scanner darkly we would be getting there

    2. Swarthy Silver badge

      *For Leftpondians the M25 is a big road encircling London, Englandland

      And it is also in the shape of the dread sigil odegra .

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "*For Leftpondians the M25 is a big road encircling London, Englandland"

      Unfortunately it doesn't work well enough and the ba**ards can still get out !

      1. VinceH

        "Unfortunately it doesn't work well enough and the ba**ards can still get out !"

        The mistake was filling it with tarmac, instead of water and shark's with frikin' lasers.

    4. Yugguy

      Old people regularly spend days driving round it looking for the end.

  2. JDX Gold badge

    Pretty arrogant

    If you're the type of person who would wear Glass on a date, the chances are the type of person who would date you would also be a big nerd. They might be interested or even turn up wearing Glass themselves! Maybe Glass is how you got talking to each other in the first place, I imagine if two wearers see each other they often say hello.

    It rather suggests only men would wear Glass, and no women are nerds, or want to date nerds, which is hardly the case and is actually kind of sexist. Some of the biggest nerds I know are women.

    1. ratfox Silver badge

      Re: Pretty arrogant

      Indeed, the person I most recently saw wearing the Google Goggles was a woman… But in the first place, I wouldn't go to an HP exec for fashion advice.

      1. Semtex451 Silver badge

        Re: Pretty arrogant

        I think I'm with the HP exec on this, you know you're date is supposed to have undivided attention.

        Wearing those sitting opposite you're date is shurly impolite.

        1. Semtex451 Silver badge

          Re: Pretty arrogant

          Jeez down votes, I guess romance is dead.

          Must be getting sentimental in my old age

          1. alwarming
            Trollface

            "Jeez down votes, I guess romance is dead."

            Well, you were unwittingly pooping the party when nerds collective were giving themselves hi-fives on a well constructed argument for wearing GG on dates. Now who's lacking in the emotional depth here, eh ?

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Downvotes

            The downvote was, assuredly, given by the same person who stopped their lovemaking to answer the Facebook ping on their cell phone.

            1. JDX Gold badge

              Re: Downvotes

              Rather than being distracted by Glass, you could use it to record the date for hours/days/weeks of introspection "what he mean when he said that" "is she giving me signals when she touches her hair" etc

            2. BongoJoe

              Re: Downvotes

              I would have thought that they still would have had one hand free?

        2. PleebSmash
          Trollface

          Re: Pretty arrogant

          This would all be fixed with a covert smartglasses device, with the lens as the screen, rather than a corner screen that causes eye strain and gets you attacked.

          As for romance, allow the distracted to fail. Let the few who can deliver cheesy lines dictated by their smartglasses succeed.

          1. Longtemps, je me suis couche de bonne heure

            Re: Pretty arrogant

            They are working on a contact lens equivalent, but the engineering difficulties are such that it is likely to be 5 years out from now before it works.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Pretty arrogant

          "Wearing those sitting opposite you're date is shurly impolite."

          ...and don't call her Shurly! Unless that's her name, of course.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Pretty arrogant

          I expect HP are acting as a Microsoft glove-puppet in Scroogling the Google Glasses idea.

          (Perhaps in the US they call them sock-puppets.)

          It is the same with any technology Microsoft sees as a potential threat to the Windows PC, they use their "partners" or apparently independent industry groups such as FAST as their agents.

          So it is in fact quite a compliment to the future of GG that Microsoft fears them so much.

  3. Frankee Llonnygog

    Date too sedate?

    Ditch the nosh bit for the mosh pit. Even a nerd's nerd won't crowd surf in their precious nerdwankspecs

  4. frank ly

    Maybe ...

    If the male nerd was on a dinner date, he could have a cool and sophisticated friend sitting at the next table, listening in and typing advice and things for him to say to his date, which would appear on his Google Glass. If his date was a female nerd, she might be wearing Google Glass and have her friend at a nearby table, listening in and typing advice and stuff to appear on her GoogleGlass. Imagine the things that could go wrong and the misunderstandings ....

    Hey, I've just had an idea for a romantic comedy that will resonate with the modern 'connected' generation. (I know, it's been done before, involving love letters and poems, but this is modern.)

    1. Alistair Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Maybe ...

      Frank, I forsee an episode of BBT wandering astray down this path.

      / and as a result will spend the rest of the afternoon giggling quietly to myself /

    2. Sealand

      Re: Maybe ...

      "You've got mail" ... on steroids, maybe?

    3. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Maybe ...

      Roxanne, you don't have to wear the specs tonight.

  5. Khaptain Silver badge

    There are advantages

    Let's say you are a nerd, if, and I mean if you manage to get out on a date, the chances are it won't be with a Monica Belluci lookalike.

    Here comes the advantages, a little bit of a Google Glass overlay and hey presto, your date suddenly looks fantastic. Depending on time, location etc your date could "virtually mutate" into the rabbit, fembot, sexlet of your dreams...as often as you please.

    1. VinceH

      Re: There are advantages

      "Here comes the advantages,"

      So I'd have to make my date wear it while looking at me?

      A more likely scenario:

      Some twats will develop an app that allows the date to be streamed, allowing other people to make comments, which the wearer will see. They'll claim it'll be to help those who are less confident on dates, and who struggle to think of things to say - the people watching, they'll claim, will be able to offer advice. ("Tell her how lovely she looks in that dress..." etc).

      It'll then be abused by scumbags who stream the date to other scumbags, who will do things like rate the date, and make lewd comments about her, and so on.

      (This scenario could also play out in other gender combinations.)

  6. David Austin

    Impressivly non sexist

    The quote as he (reportedly) said it:

    “When you look at the appeal of Google Glass... would you wear it on a date?" he asked. "Probably not. And, if you did, you probably wouldn’t get a second date.”

    Doesn't make any claims over which gender is which, or indeed, if they're the same gender - that part's totally out of the question, boiling it down to a logical yet complex argument of weather you should be using augmentation when trying to make someone your significant other.

    Could have been very easy to turn this from a bit of business sniping, with a hint of deep thinking into the same old men/woman stereotypes. I'm fine with him saying that, as is.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's not difficult....

    ...to spot an ass clown, the have Google Glass.

  8. Oldskater

    the world is a big place. and there's someone for everyone.

    does anyone remember the days when using a mobile phone in public was an embarrassing thing to do?

    times change

    1. Nuke
      Meh

      @ Oldskater

      Wrote : "does anyone remember the days when using a mobile phone in public was an embarrassing thing to do? times change"

      So being on your mobile all through a date is OK nowadays?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @ Oldskater

        Sometimes I think that is how many members of the younger (and in some weird cases, older) generation communicate with the person they are on the date with.

      2. stanimir

        Re: @ Oldskater (using mobile phone on a date)

        Yes, esp. given the date actually is... 'texting'.

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: @ Oldskater (using mobile phone on a date)

          Shouldn't that be "sexting"

          1. stanimir

            Re: @ Oldskater (using mobile phone on a date)

            on idea, I am not so versed. However, I'd presume the sexting happens after the date or perhaps on a 2nd one.

            1. Khaptain Silver badge

              Re: @ Oldskater (using mobile phone on a date)

              From what I have understood lately it can even happen "before" the date.

  9. toadwarrior

    Who wouldn't want to be recorded on a date for the other person's pre-bed wank?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Or have the video posted to assorted sites?

  10. Nuke
    WTF?

    "no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre"

    Now I've heard it called everything.

    1. alwarming
      Paris Hilton

      "her data centre"

      Ya.. I would've gone with the rack mountable option.

    2. BongoJoe

      "no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre"

      Now I've heard it called everything.

      --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

      The classic being the serial i/o port.

  11. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Touchy Feely?

    So we talking Google Silicon not Silica then.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Touchy Feely?

      "So we talking Google Silicon not Silica then."

      Do you mean silicone ? One is soft & pliable, one is an insulator and one can be used to make semiconductors - your choice.

  12. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    I'd agree

    I wouldn't expect to be able to go along checking my phone while I'm out on a date. I would think wearing Google Glasses would be effectively the same thing. I'm sure some people don't mind but there's no way to know ahead of time.

  13. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Coat

    Oooh, opportunity!

    Anyone here remember Short Circuit 2? Yeah, I know, nothing to write home about really, but the bit where the guy is getting fed lines to say to his date on a screen he can see over her shoulder?

    Well, Google Glass + voice recognition + a decent Eliza algorithm = "there's an app for that!"

    Now even nerds can sound confident! ... as long as you don't mind it being all "her and me, and Google makes three"...

  14. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Alert

    He's right though in one way...

    Are any of the modern tech items something that you would want to pass down to your kids, even if they were still relevant? In fact, in these days of cheap, disposable, made in China everything, from tech to tools, is there any item that would be considered an heirloom? I still have some of my grandfather's and father's tools, and a couple of old watches, and a couple of pieces of my mother's jewellery, But is there anything made today that is worth passing down, except maybe a few pieces of better jewellery? I can't see passing down an assortment of "Harbor Freight" tools to anyone...

    Maybe if I had one of the Apple I motherboards...

  15. Old Yank

    I would like to know how HP plans to make their wearable gadgets any less prone to functional obsolescence than any other techbling maker? Isn't the business model of the consumer electronic industry founded on this?

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