back to article Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook

Apple CEO Tim Cook has written to his employees to tell them that the past few quarters have been the most successful in the company's history. To the faithful, only the golden age of Steve Jobs can be described in such terms. But even though he's failed to release an exciting new product range since the first fruity fuhrer …

  1. pyite

    That should probably be "führer"

    Though I really prefer the u with the angry eyes: ǚ

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: That should probably be "führer"

      I don't mind how the Reg spells slang that can be construed as 'gay Nazi'. I just wish they'd stop it referring to Tim Cook as that.

      1. Darryl

        Re: That should probably be "führer"

        'gay Nazi'? It's German for 'Leader' or 'Guide'

        1. Ted 3

          Re: That should probably be "führer"

          Darryl: "'gay Nazi'? It's German for 'Leader' or 'Guide'"

          Note: I am not agreeing with Frankee. But I will point out that words do take on a different connotation across time and translation.

          For example, 'douche' simply means 'shower' in French, but it has taken on a rather different connotation now in English.

          Thus, 'fuhrer' does make people think of a certain time in German history, regardless of the literal meaning in German.

        2. Frankee Llonnygog

          Re: That should probably be "führer"

          And when we hear the word, our first thought is of a cheery troop of cub scouts...

          Fruit is jock-ular US homophobic slang, as I'm sure I don't need to point out.

          I think the Reg writers know exactly what they are doing with this needlessly provocative epithet.

          Godwin's law is an indicator that a debate has reached rock-bottom. If the Reg's articles are already there, what chance for enlightened debate in the comments?

    2. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: That should probably be "führer"

      "ǚ"

      I don't know about angry eyes, but when I see it I think of Beaker from the Muppet Show, peering over the top of something.

  2. Jared Hunt
    Joke

    Wait!

    Are you saying the iWatch is not going to alter civilisation as we know it? Damn I was getting all excited too....

    1. David Lawton

      Re: Wait!

      iWatch? Whats that, or do you mean the Apple Watch?

      1. Jared Hunt
        Facepalm

        Re: Wait!

        Why yes, I did mean the Apple Watch. I guess the product is so forgettable I forgot its name.

      2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: Wait!

        "I like to watch."

        - Chance the Gardener

  3. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

    All this might be true, but once upon a time Apple was famous for designing and building innovative stuff which created whole new industries and redefined and reinvigorated old ones.

    This is no dig at Apple*, but they have never designed and built entirely new and innovative stuff. They have made a success out of better versions of things which already exist, making them easier to use and/or marketing them better. They did so incredibly well, and used this talent to bring new technology to the masses, but it has always existed before they got in on the act. A non-tech person probably sees them as innovative, because they never saw the tech before Apple released it, but it still existed, in a form not too dissimilar from what Apple released.

    * I don't like Apple or Apple's products, but I cannot deny their skills in making things easier to use and "cooler". As a tech junkie I have been using "smartphones" since long before Apple came on the scene, but I was always ridiculed for the choice before the iPhone came along. Their impact has been to package and market new technology in such a way that everyone wants it, even if they don't want Apple's version.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "This is no dig at Apple*, but they have never designed and built entirely new and innovative stuff"

      ... I guess you weren't around in the '70s when the fledgling Apple company (3 guys) were literally building new stuff, hardware and software, in their garage (http://cicorp.com/apple/garage/)

      In the post-Microsoft era, its easy to forget this stuff.

      1. Martin Gregorie Silver badge

        Apple wasn't even the first to sell a microcomputer

        I guess you weren't around in the '70s when the fledgling Apple company (3 guys) were literally building new stuff, hardware and software, in their garage

        Well I was and I remember seeing commercially built microcomputers (home computers if you prefer) on sale in the Computer Store on Broadway in NYC in the summer of 1976. These were machines made by IMSAI, MITS and SWTPc. All used add-on cards to extend the basic machine, all could be programmed in assembler or BASIC and some were fitted with 8" or 5 1/4" floppy drives, though they mostly used green-screen serial terminals or ASR-33 teletypes for their user interface and were based on MC6800 or Intel 8080 chips rather than the Mostek 6502 that the Apple 1 used.

        All of them were on sale in 1975, so they all preceeded the Apple 1 (April 1976) by at least 4 months. All were on sale a good two years before the Apple ][ was announced.

        The microcomputer an Apple invention? I don't think so!

      2. DougS Silver badge

        Newton?

        They had a PDA back in the 80s! It may have not been long term successful, but it is the grandfather of today's smartphones and tablets.

        1. simon_brooke

          Re: Newton?

          They did have a PDA back in the 80s. Guess what? So did Psion (and others). The difference was that Psion's worked well and were commercially successful.

        2. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

          Re: Newton?

          Actually, while there were PDAs around then, that did seem innovative to me (at the time). I don't have the time (or inclinations) to check if there was anything similar around then, but I had never seen anything like it: Touch screen, with "handwriting recognition". It looked awesome!

          So I will change my opinion, they have produced one innovation.

      3. Fungus Bob Silver badge
        Coat

        "In the post-Microsoft era..."

        Post Microsoft? I haven't even got used to the Post Toasties era.

        Mine's the one with Grape Nuts in the pocket.

      4. simon_brooke

        Uhhmmm.... no they weren't

        I was around in the '70s, and you've been drinking Kool Ade.

        The Apple 1, while a fine machine for its day, was not spectacularly innovative - there were several other similar microcomputers around before it. There wasn't anything special about its software, either. Nor was there anything specially interesting about Apple II. Lisa, and Macintosh after it, popularised concepts developed by Xerox PARC.

      5. MOV r0,r0

        Here's a representative example from Apple history: the un-upgradable Mac 128. Insufficient RAM out of the box and locked you in to an Apple Lisa for serious software development, one of the slowest, most expensive dev systems ever and entirely a Jobs job (the Mac being employees work he elbowed his way into).

        It was Microsoft separating hardware from software that got us a 'machine on every desk', there would never have been an 'era' if we'd waited on Apple and their pricing.

        Now Mac is a side note in history: sales have been flat for years. Apple are company who made their money from phones, who still can't believe their luck and have no idea how to replicate it.

    2. bri

      Define innovative

      Frankly, with some definitions you can argue that there never was any innovative stuff right through to the discovery of fire - others have burned themselves with friction, so this was derivative and no real innovation, yet alone breakthrough :)

      For consumer device, the whole mix of packaging, usability, capability and content is achievement in itself. Whether it is innovation by your definition, I don't know, but in my book, it really was.

  4. NellyD

    You really don't want...

    "will anyone really remember the big bucks Tim Cook era? We doubt it."

    ...that invite to the next Apple gig.

  5. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

    Steve wouldn't have allowed that kind of nonsense.

    1. Don Dumb
      Coat

      Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

      "Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch "

      The Apple Watch is getting Yosemite? That is impressive!

    2. cheveron

      Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

      Indeed. Steve would have picked a name non-Americans would know how to pronounce.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

        "Steve would have picked a name non-Americans would know how to pronounce."

        Really? I thought most non-Americans would be familiar with it via Warner Brothers' Yosemite Sam, and probably wondering why Apple named their OS after a cantankerous, dimwitted cowboy.

        1. J 3

          Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

          "I thought most non-Americans would be familiar with it via Warner Brothers' Yosemite Sam"

          There are many people in the world who do not speak English as first language. And at least in mine the cartoon/movie characters usually do not have their original names, or even close. For example, if you do a literal translation of Bugs Bunny's name from my country's version of the cartoon back to English, you'd have "Long leg".

          Before living in the US, I used to think that Yosemite rimed with mite...

        2. Quentin North

          Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

          Eve in the UK, most people would pronounce Yosemite to rhyme with might.

          1. Fink-Nottle

            Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

            I thought the name was chosen to boost sales to Israeli hipsters ... Yo, Semite!.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

              ...and Aussie hipsters who thought it was a new type of Vegemite?

          2. Gartal

            Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

            Yo, Semite.....

      2. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

        I would be surprised to learn that more than 50% of Americans could actually pronounce it correctly.

      3. Fungus Bob Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: a name non-Americans would know how to pronounce

        Its pronounced like Vegemite: Ve-jem-it-ee

      4. KroSha
        Facepalm

        Re: Tim will be remembered for allowing Yosemite on his watch

        "Indeed. Steve would have picked a name non-Americans would know how to pronounce."

        What, like Jag-wire?

  6. Don Dumb
    Facepalm

    Every year the NHS gets record breaking increases to investment -

    - but not neccessarily in *real terms*

    "Today we reported Apple’s highest September quarter revenue ever and our strongest revenue growth rate in seven quarters. These very strong results were made possible by your hard work and dedication."
    Strange he forgot to say "And inflation." I would expect that even a company treading water would make their highest September revenue ever every year in cash terms, it would be more impressive if it was the highest ever after taking into account inflation.

    For those not getting the subject line, this refers to the claims made by many UK politicians that they are going to break the record on investment into the NHS, when in fact in most years they are simply putting in more cash to cover inflation (i.e. the same value). Because inflation almost always goes up, they can claim every year that they are breaking the record, anything else would be a massive cut.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Yeah, Apple is making a hell of a lot more money now than it ever did before."

    "But, again, will anyone really remember the big bucks Tim Cook era?"

    Isn't making money the whole point of a corporation? Memories is a secondary objective.

  8. Lars Silver badge
    Coat

    A bit unfair

    I haven't seen much anything new "gadgets" by anybody else either, perhaps there is a limit to it. Or just tell us what new you where thinking about. Perhaps Apple should do a Google and expand beyond hand held gadgets, cars and stuff like that. All I can think of right now for Apple to "improve" would be glasses and binoculars.

  9. Tim Almond

    The Future

    I think the key point isn't about whether Apple is still making exciting products, but how much longer it can keep treading water.

    What was new in the £539 iPhone 6? Barometer, bit thinner, slo-mo recording. Meanwhile, a sub-£150 Android phone covers what most people want a smartphone to do, or isn't very far away from it. OK, an iPhone has eleventy million cores or twenty gazillion megapixel screens, but when you're using it for Angry Birds and posting drunken low-light photos on Facebook, who cares?

  10. jnemesh

    But you also got...

    iOS updates that brick phones, a bendable iPhone 6 Plus, a pastel themed UI, and icons developed by the MARKETING department.

    Yes, profits are good now...but you can see the decline happening right before your eyes. Will be fun to watch.

    1. Dan Paul

      Re: But you also got...

      The pastel themed UI and Icons were developed by their marketing department working with junior high school cheerleaders as the only statistical sample used.

      "Rome" is smouldering while Tim Cook fiddles.... SJ is already spinning in his grave.

  11. Mark 85 Silver badge

    He boosted and...

    Talked about all the money they raked in. So... will the lads and lasses in the trenches partake of the profit? Or just him and the board?

    My bet is that the troops get the pat on the back. The board and senior management get the dosh.

  12. Mikel

    Let us reflect

    It is a great time to be a nerd, and Apple has a lot to do with that.

    1. P. Lee Silver badge

      Re: Let us reflect

      Nerds are nerds The 80's were a good time to be a geek, and Apple played a good part in that.

      Linux leads gui features (if not innovation) now. Macs are just PCs and osx is NotWindows which still runs Word with a nice strong laptop case.

      There is too much benefit in being compatible to allow too much innovation. I'm hoping ARM might pull something out of the hat, but I suspect the high cost of battery, screen and marketing will dwarf savings on a CPU.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Customers are "loving" the new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus, Cook continued, neatly skipping over all mention of any infamous bendgate incidents.

    It's the reality distortion field, seems to come with the job.

  14. DougS Silver badge

    Me me me?

    Of course like always Jesper puts his own negative spin on it, as if Cook is attributing the successes to himself or his own leadership. He isn't, of course, he specifically says "These very strong results were made possible by your hard work and dedication."

    But hey, don't let facts get in the way of your Apple bashing, Jesper!

  15. ThomH Silver badge

    Which CEO was it that delivered all the record quarters at Microsoft?

    ... and how has he been judged?

    Golden ages are subjective.

  16. Terryih

    Hi,

    The gas bill. Mr. Cook may have made a rotten Apple. With regulators caching up on apples tax evasion and the loop hole being closed Apple will be hit hard.

  17. Sealand
    FAIL

    "The user experience across all our products keeps getting better ..."

    Seriously?

    I've worked with or owned Apple products since 1993, and the user experience has never been worse than with iOS7 and 8 - the latter setting a new standard for lack of QC at Apple.

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