back to article Ploppr: The #VultureTRENDING App of the Now

We here at #VultureTRENDING are quite literally shitting in our pants with excitement over the latest app startup to take the internet by storm - Ploppr! The idea is incredibly simple: like all brilliant sharing economy ideas it seeks to put people who have something together with people who need that something. All over …

  1. Soap Distant

    Brilliant!

    "You swipe right, offering a delivery of fertiliser."

    Would that be an R-Swipe then? :D

    SD

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Please no...

    "FULL DISCLOSURE: #VultureTRENDING is an incredibly exciting new initiative from Vulture Publishing intended to harvest the #zeitgeistgasm and #crowdwisdom for dazzling new insights into the digital revolution. We are proud to admit that it was inspired by similar BBC initiatives."

    I get it. I have seen #BBCtrending and it fills me with horror.

    However, even the fact what you are doing is parody* reminds me that this kind of drivel exists. Please, please don't. Have a deal with the Daily Mashup, or something, to write this column for them or something similar but oh dear me, no.

    * Even though I *know* this is a parody laced with truth, some part of me still can't shake the feeling that someone, somewhere, at Vulture Central may be even more sadistic than we give them credit for.

    1. Matt 21

      Re: Please no...

      I'm in two minds: Part of me wants this to be picked up by, for example, the Daily Mail or the BBC and published as fact and part of me wants to point out that human excrement doesn't actually help with growing veggies.

      Wasn't there a project in the 19th century to pump poo out of London for fertilizing the fields of Essex which showed how much it doesn't help?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Joking aside ...

    There is a real need for a database on similar lines. The RADAR National Key Scheme means that disabled people can access public toilets at all times. However, the location guide (the one published a year or so ago) only listed addresses, so it wasn't always easy to find the facilities. Had postcodes and grid references been listed as well as the address, making it easy to find their exact location on a map, the guide would have been considerably more useful.

    The format appears to have been changed from a book covering the whole if the UK to a set of no less than 21 smaller regional guides. These aren't sold but are each available "in return for a donation of £3.50". This looks like a nice little earner to me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Joking aside ...

      Annoyingly the data for all of this with postcodes and co-ordinates (missile address) is all available already. So this seems eminently doable, but I can't help but feel it's a bureaucracy holding things up.

  4. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Depressingly plausible

    Does the iOS version automatically post 30% of the deposit to Apple via iTunes? I'm tempted to start coding now...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You're right full of S**T, then

    I would just like to say that I'm completely onboard with this fantastic product "launch."

    To be one of the first "providers", I stopped by El Reg and left it on the front stoop. Honestly I couldn't hold it any longer.

    Do you expect that some locations may have people lining up to make their poop trades?

    1. Random Coolzip

      Re: You're right full of S**T, then

      "Do you expect that some locations may have people lining up to make their poop trades?"

      And the logical extension of this will be the new fast-growing field of Poop Futures. I can see it now, a burgeoning commodity market (secretly controlled by the Curry Cabal), spreading across the country.

  6. jake Silver badge

    ::shakes head::

    Farmers have been trading fertilizer for thousands of years.

    Farmers also know bullshit when they see it.

  7. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Coat

    You asked for it

    No Shit man!

    Oh Crap

    Nice Shit Man

    Piss all use to man nor beast

    etc

    etc

    etc

    Coat? Yep. The one with Bob Flowerdew's book in the pocket.

  8. Smilin' Stan

    No app yet, but...

    A Poop Bank in Massachusetts Will Pay You $40 Every Day - Are you under 50 years old, willing to make daily trips to Medford [Massachusetts], and have regular bowel movements? You, my friend, could be earning $40 a day—just for pooping. All you have to do is visit OpenBiome, launched in 2012 as the only independent nonprofit stool bank in the country. The brainchild of MIT postdoctoral associate Mark Smith, OpenBiome collects, tests, and provides fecal samples to 122 hospitals in 33 states for one of the most interesting medical treatment innovations today: fecal microbiota transplantation...

    full article: http://www.boston.com/health/2014/10/15/poop-bank-massachusetts-will-pay-you-per-dump/FMMhBXMKyFNTRXKoThmnpM/story.html?p1=Must_Reads_hp

  9. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    "bump to dump"

    See icon -------------->

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      Re: "bump to dump"

      Sincery hope the icon shows some kind of beverage...

  10. Kevin Johnston

    I am amazed that no-one has so far suggested an added feature with Press 1 for #1 and 2 for #2

    It's the weekend, I can't leave as I'm at home

  11. Jan 0

    We are so grateful for the chance to infect you all!

    Your neighbourhood roundworms. Thank you, thank you.

  12. enerider
    Thumb Up

    The sentence starting with "Rather, we understand..."...

    ...was read with gritted teeth.

    The rest of it was met with chuckles.

    Nicely done.

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