back to article Steve Jobs makes world a better place FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Apple chief Tim Cook sent an email to staffers on Friday, in which he reminded them all of the greatness of Steve Jobs – who has been dead three years today. It comes after Google's executive chairman Eric Schmidt took a swipe at the Apple boss on Thursday for supposedly getting it wrong about the ad and search giant's …

  1. Bob Vistakin
    Facepalm

    Yeah, right.

    Let's reflect on how Mr Cook has handled the great legacy passed onto him then, shall we? First we had the Apple Maps fiasco, then the Apple apologizing fiasco, quickly followed by the Apple apologizing wrong fiasco, then the Apple U2 fiasco, the Apple iOS update fiasco to be finally topped off by the Apple bendy iPhone fiasco. And it's not over yet - is there an Apple bluetooth fiasco on the way?

    Still, you can see why such a premier experience commands such a premier price, and as your typical fanboi would still say after all that: "But its prettier - and mine has the bigger gee bees".

    1. Christian Berger Silver badge

      Re: Yeah, right.

      I'm not sure if there are now more fiascos than there were back when evil Steve was at the helm. Just think of the iBook Logic Board fiasco, or the fiasco when bits of plastic were left in during manufacturing and obstructed the airflow. There even were times when OSX had remote code execution bugs exploitable via Bluetooth.

      It just seems like evil Steve had a hand for lowering expectations so people tended to accept that more easily. It's something also known as the "reality distortion field".

  2. chivo243 Silver badge
    Trollface

    And I thought

    The article would be about Pixar? Love the movies, who sat on that board again?

    I stand down voted

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And I thought

      Did you love CARS and CARS2? What about PLANES and PLANES2? Did you love them too?

      You might be interested to know that they have a new film coming out next summer, its called 'DRONES'. Its about a lovable Drone called Dave and his friends Donny the Doodlebug and Victor the V2 and their exciting adventures in the Middle East.

      1. returnmyjedi

        Re: And I thought

        Neither Planes or Planes 2 were Pixar films, instead produced and animated by Disney. Cars 2 was a soggy slice of toss on toast though.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Three Years!!

    Doesn't time fly? It only seems like yesterday when he kicked the iBucket......three years!!!, god the hours, days, weeks, months, years, are dissolving away at a fair o'l lick.

    Not trying to be disrespectful of the dead here, its just after seeing that number (three) its just kinda thrown me a bit...sheesh.......i better get a move on with that '50 things to do before you die' list i wrote out a while back. Now.......where am i going to find a dolphin and swim with the bugger on a Sunday?

    1. Not Terry Wogan

      Re: Three Years!!

      I don't know, mate. Finding a dolphin who'll let you swim with and bugger him by Sunday is a pretty tall order, and I don't think Grindr caters to aquatic mammals.

      1. Arctic fox
        Happy

        @Not Terry Wogan Re:"Finding a dolphin who'll let you swim with and bugger him...."

        If he managed the act whilst holding his breath and not drowning it would be even more impressive!

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: @Not Terry Wogan Finding a dolphin who'll let you swim with and bugger him...."

          Flippr?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    humpf

    i wonder, was he a happy man?

    1. Breen Whitman

      Re: humpf

      I think he was happy in life. He would have derived a joy from not being a philanthropist, treating employees like scum, and having tantrums at his audience.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: humpf

        You are right, not all evil people are unhappy. I think he genuinely relished in it.

        The kind of guy who can just sit there and smell his own farts for 20 minutes.

        1. Bob Vistakin
          Gimp

          Re: humpf

          And for those who thinks he's joking, here's the evidence.

  5. Guillermo Lo Coco

    On the same month died a truly canvas maker.

    I take a moment to honor Dennis Ritchie.

  6. Breen Whitman

    When I hear "canvas", all I think of now it that artist that gave himself paint enemas and blew it out onto a canvas then sold them like they were high art.

    Actually, the parallels to how Steve Jobs gave us the iPhone is nearly 1:1

  7. William Donelson

    Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

    Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

    Get a life.

    1. Smitty Werben Jueger Man Jenson

      Re: Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

      You would hate him too if you were denied access to special events and got the cold shoulder at every request for comments from the glorious Trendy Fanboi's Corporation of Cupertino because you wouldn't openly speak at every opportunity of the great achievements of the eternal CEO.

      1. SuccessCase

        Re: Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

        "You would hate him too if you were denied access to special events and got the cold shoulder at every request"

        By all means be a feeding hand biter. Just don't fucking whine or act surprised or act as though it is at all unreasonable when someone then declines to feed you.

    2. Sanctimonious Prick
      Thumb Down

      Re: Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

      Hmm... that was a silly comment. You should delete it.

    3. returnmyjedi

      Re: Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

      "Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

      Get a life."

      The reason why quite a lot of folks find the hoisting of Jobs to good like status bemusing is because in the grand scheme of things he didn't really change the world for the better, merely giving already trundling bandwagons a bit of a push. Using your epidemiology analogy it's as if the Apple luvvies think Stevo discovered a cure for hiv whereas in reality he found a cure for ear hair.

      1. Fluffy Bunny
        Facepalm

        Re: Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

        "as if the Apple luvvies think Stevo discovered a cure for hiv whereas in reality he found a cure for ear hair."

        A better analogy is if Stevo took somebody eles's cure for HIV and put it into really pretty packaging at twice the price and then convinced everybody to catch HIV so they can buy his special cure.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Of course, if Jobs had invented a cure for H.I.V., the Register would still hate him

      Nice, Mr Donelson, very nice indeed. You certainly knew how to push the buttons there, didn't you? Your reward for prevoking an emotional response from the readers of this thread is a brand new, shiney upvote.

      Remember Mr Donelson, use your power sparingly.

      Your sincerely,

      Tim Cook.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Canvas?

    Total cattle excrement. I have no time whatsoever for Apple's ruthless attitude and their incredibly expensive trinkets, the likes of which can be obtained considerably cheaper elsewhere to do much the same job. How so many people have fallen for their rhetoric and hype over the years (and especially from that Jobs fella) is completely beyond me.

  9. Truth4u

    Steve Jobs made the world a worse place

    By beating his wife and fucking up his kids.

    What ever happened to Jobs Junior anyway? Nobody knows. Probably crouched in an ally somewhere selling blowjobs for pennies while the theme tune from this is your life plays in the background.

    He has four kids and only one has a wikipedia page? Did he drown the others in the bath or something?

  10. Sanctimonious Prick
    Terminator

    Shocking!

    I find some of the above comments rather troubling, shocking, even.

    I'm not a big fan of their products. I've owned a couple of iMacs, and although they were fun for a little while, they just didn't match the usefulness and productivity one can get from a dual booting Windows/Linux machine.

    My current phone is an iPhone 4. Yeah, the lock button doesn't work at all, and the home button has to be pressed several times to get a response, and bluetooth gets turned on every time an update is performed. At any rate, it was a hand-me-down.

    Remember, Apple nearly sunk some years ago, and then Jobs came back and turned things around on a massive scale.

    That man had a certain amount of brilliance about him.

    It'll be interesting to see how many down-votes this post gets :D

    Love you ALL!

    1. returnmyjedi

      Re: Shocking!

      I thought Bill Gates saved Apple? Our am I remembering things wrong?

  11. G R Goslin

    Blilliance

    You have to admire the brilliance of a man that while dead can contribute to the design of a phone that adjusts itself to the shape of your pocket. Well worth a patent application, I'd say. Mind you, I have a handkerchief that does that. Prior art, perhaps.

    1. Lars Silver badge

      Re: Blilliance

      "You have to admire the brilliance of a man that while dead can contribute to the design of a phone"

      Let me help you with that a bit:

      You have to admire the brilliance of a man that while JOBS IS STILL dead can contribute to the HYPE ABOUT THE design of a phone.

      Please Mr Cook I know the Soviet Union loved Stalin but are you not going a bit too far for a bit too long or are you keeping him in a freezer or already stuffed up for a mausoleum in the Apple doughnut.

      Time to stand on your own legs perhaps. Not since Elvis and Jesus have we in the western world seen anything like this.

    2. bdam
      Happy

      Re: Blilliance

      It makes this adjustment without using any power - even when switched off - making it eco-friendly too. And its users get an extra special surprise when its done this and they first see it.

      And all because of the superior Apple user experience.

  12. synaesthesia

    Three?

    Three years?

    Half Life Three confirmed!

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