back to article Special iPhone trousers will ease Apple into the fashion world

Fashion labels are considering fitting extra large pockets into their jeans to allow on-trend fanbois and gurlz to trouser the supersized Apple iPhone 6 Plus. Apple has been pushing one clear message recently: bigger is better. Whether it be rumours of an upcoming 12.9-inch iPad Air 2 or the larger iPhone, Tim Cook seems …

  1. NoneSuch Silver badge

    Coming soon. Levis with a one inch hole in the pocket to show off the Apple logo.

    1. NellyD

      Otherwise known as the "aHole".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        ahole - proof you've been screwed

        Where's the $8 B tax back?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If people didn't try squeezing into clothes two sizes smaller than they are just so the can crow that they fit in a size xxx there wouldn't be a problem with bendy phones.

      Instead we have to witness love handles and belly bulges squeezed out of the tops of trousers and crop tops. Wear the correct size and the pocket will be sufficient.

      Alternatively buy elasticated strides.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Did you mean..

        ..Lazzy Pants?

      2. skeptical i
        Meh

        While I generally agree with wearing the correct[-ish] size trousers ...

        ... be aware that most clothes designed for vagina people have either no pockets or little details that are pockets in name only (they may hold two coins and a lipstick, but nothing useful like a wallet or celphone). Presumably this has something to do with wanting nothing so cumbersome as a moneyclip to detract from the wearer's natural form, but it is still surprising that so few items of female clothing have functional pockets -- not everyone is a supermodel every waking hour.

      3. John Tserkezis

        "Instead we have to witness love handles and belly bulges squeezed out of the tops of trousers and crop tops."

        Hey! I like muffin tops.

        Er, perhaps I should have made myself anonamous first...

    3. mafoo
      Angel

      levis

      I acutaly have a pair of levis cargo shorts and they have pockets inside the leg and hip pockets just the right size for an iPhone 6 / Galaxy S5 to be held snugly in a vertical position.

  2. Buzzword

    Handbags at dawn

    The pockets featured in that video wouldn't fit an iPhone 5 either. Most women carry their phones in their handbags anyway.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Handbags at dawn

      But do women carry their phones in their handbags because they haven't got the pockets? My Mum complains because when she's at home, she obviously no longer requires her handbag, but with no pockets to put the phone in it either gets left in the bag, or abandoned in whichever room she happens to take it out in first. Obviously if she's visiting me it's no problem, as it can sit by her seat with phone available. Not that anyone gets signal in my flat...

      Whereas a man's phone can stay in his pocket, and be available at all times. Ready for fondling or answering, as required.

      Given the annoyances women are willing to put up with in the name of fashion, should we seek another solution? If pockets spoil the line of a well cut trouser. How's about autonomous drone handbags? Either flying or wheeled, which follow you round the house, with all your bits-and-pieces.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Handbags at dawn

        "Given the annoyances women are willing to put up with in the name of fashion"

        The oddest of which for me has to be pockets that aren't, a frequent cause of irritation for my girlfriend. It looks like a pocket till you try to stick something in it, when you discover its sewn up and apparently only there for decorative purposes. Or I guess the lack of the actual pocket element is a money saving device by especially tight fisted manufacturers. It would drive me nuts; probably the first time I discovered it would be the last time whatever-it-was ever saw the light of day.

        1. VinceH

          Re: Handbags at dawn

          "The oddest of which for me has to be pockets that aren't, a frequent cause of irritation for my girlfriend. It looks like a pocket till you try to stick something in it, when you discover its sewn up and apparently only there for decorative purposes. Or I guess the lack of the actual pocket element is a money saving device by especially tight fisted manufacturers. It would drive me nuts;"

          I have a coat like that - and it does indeed drive me nuts.

          I bought it in a bit of a hurry, and didn't take enough notice at the time, so I didn't notice the faux-pockets until much later (and a very long way away from where I bought it).

          Which is doubly annoying, because the main reason I picked it up was because it had plenty of pockets. I find lots of pockets very useful - especially when I go for a long walk in the middle of nowhere - so this coat is the most infuriating garment I have ever purchased.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Handbags at dawn

            Are you sure they are fake pockets? Quite often companies sew up pockets so people don't bag them when trying them on. I remember pointing out to two student friends that their interview suits actually did have pockets, they just needed to unpick them.

            But you are right, we women rarely get our fair share of pockets. But then I'd never buy a sodding iPhone anyway :-)

            1. VinceH
              Unhappy

              Re: Handbags at dawn

              "Are you sure they are fake pockets?"

              100% positive. :(

  3. Khaptain Silver badge

    Burn baby burn

    Quick question : do lithium batteries, or whatever they use now, leak acid.... maybe that burning sensation isn't the clap after all. The iProne 6+ does have a rather large battery after all.

    1. Jim 48
      Flame

      Re: Burn baby burn

      This OnePlus One battery ignited in somebodies pocket and left them with a nice burn.

      "Be careful my One has burned"

  4. JDX Gold badge

    Maybe cargo pants will become de rigueur for avid phone users?

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Maybe cargo pants will become de rigueur for avid phone users?

      Definitely if they don't start providing batteries with more capacity..

  5. Dan Paul

    How about a side pocket?

    If any jean designers bother to read El Reg forums, how about a pocket along the upper right or left side of the thigh? (I call prior art)

    One that would not only hold the johnnie come lately iPhone 6 or 6+ but the far more common and durable Samsung Galaxy and Note products.

    Oh, and that wimpy iPhone wouldn't be able to bend or feel undue pressure there and we'd be able to see a proper womans behind unmarred by a phone!

    1. Matt Piechota

      Re: How about a side pocket?

      "If any jean designers bother to read El Reg forums, how about a pocket along the upper right or left side of the thigh? (I call prior art)"

      Somebody did that in the era of PDAs, if I remember right. It was a very discrete zippered pocket along the seam of the pant leg.

      Ah-ha!

      http://the-gadgeteer.com/2002/02/21/dockers_mobile_pant_review/

      Eww, pleated front.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I feel left out :(

    I like carrying my 15" laptop around. Aren't there trousers for me too?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: I feel left out :(

      Certainly. Clown trousers are available at all good retailers. One size doesn't fits all. With roomy elasticated waists and trousers to hold all your laptop or custard needs.

    2. Darryl
      1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

        If Darryl's fashion tip catches on ...

        The news group posts might be genuine:

        dict 'baggy pantsing'

      2. skeptical i
        Coat

        Re: I feel left out :(

        Hammer don't hurt 'em!! (Can't touch this.)

  7. Irongut

    particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world?

    Except it isn't because they all keep their phones in their handbags. Well all the ones I've ever met anyway.

    1. Captain Queeg

      Re: particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world?

      Not every woman, my wife keeps her phone in her bra... :-/

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Devil

        Re: particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world?

        my wife keeps her phone in her bra... :-/

        I bet you feel a right tit when she's busy and you have to answer the phone for her...

      2. Darryl

        Re: particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world?

        My thought, when I see that, is 'Lucky phone'

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world?

        My wife has no room left for a phone in her bra, let alone a phablet ;)

  8. Slx

    I have a feeling that it's a combination of hipsters, skinny jeans and oversized phones....

    If the iPhone 6plus rids the world of skinny jeans it will have done us all a huge favour !

    1. FredBloggs61

      Speak for yourself!

    2. Alistair Silver badge
      Coat

      I have a feeling that it's a combination of hipsters, skinny jeans and oversized phones....

      If the iPhone 6plus rids the world of skinny jeanshipsters it will have done us all a huge favour !

      FTFY

      1. Vector

        "If the iPhone 6plus rids the world of skinny jeans hipsters..."

        Fat chance

        I guess we could dream though...

  9. tony2heads

    Holster

    Would iphone fanbois be cool with a holster ?

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: Holster

      Would iphone fanbois be cool with a holster ?

      That will last exactly ONE visit to an airport :)

      1. John Bailey

        Re: Holster

        "That will last exactly ONE visit to an airport :)"

        I fail to see the down side.

  10. 080

    Nip down to Screwfix and get youserlf some decent work trousers, my 7 incher fits neatly into the pockets. They stock several designer types like Dickies and De Walt

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge

      Or a toolbelt

      With room for the charger, the external battery packs[1] and a straightedge[2]

      [1] so you can multiple or longer phone calls

      [2] to check if you bent it back just right

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      7-incher?

      That's all well and good for you and your lady, but do the pockets hold a phone?

  11. i like crisps
    Happy

    CALLED IT...........YESSSSSSSSSS

    Called this the other day, some of you scoffed, but i fuckin called it........YESSSSSSS.

  12. G R Goslin

    Incompatability

    There isn't really anywhere on the human body where a flat slab like an iPhone can be accomodated. Certainly not around the hips area. We should take a leaf out of James Bond's book and wear shoulder holsters. Tucked under the arm is about the safest place to be against being bernt and bashed against things. Just the place for a quick draw. In the wrong company, however, it might get you shot.

    1. BongoJoe

      Re: Incompatability

      What about the small of the back?

      1. Michael Thibault

        Re: Incompatability

        >What about the small of the back?

        Agree. I can't understand why 'the office' hasn't been claimed as yet for use in toting around slab-like things of various sizes.

    2. Mephistro Silver badge

      Re: Incompatability

      "In the wrong company, however, it might get you shot."

      I'd rather run the risk of being shot than having to wear baggy pants, a handbag or a sporran. Luckily, there are other options, like, say, not having a phone the size of an ironing board. ;-)

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Buy wrangler...

    If they still make them, my tablet fits in the big pocket on my thigh and my smartphone fits in the pocket above/inside it*.

    For my currrnt tablet/phone combination.

  14. emmanuel goldstein

    it's about time the emperor, I mean fanbois, learnt they are not actually wearing anything at all

  15. AsherGoldbergstein

    "The problem is particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world, who must battle the patriarchy's insistence on "small front pockets" every time they try to wodge a mobe into their strides." It's happening!

  16. Rich83

    Geordie Jeans

    Never liked skinny jeans, always make me think of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX85QqzrXO0

  17. albaleo

    I used to like Apple and The Register

    "Apple is no longer just a tech firm, remember, it's a fashion brand."

    And The Register is no longer just an IT news outlet, remember, it's a clickbait site.

    I think you can do better.

  18. VinceH

    Tsk.

    "It’s something that we always are considering, in terms of the functionality of our garments," she insisted. "Of course, we’re always going to make sure that we’re going for something that’s flattering for the consumer...but we’re always thinking about how shethey wears the garment, what occasion she’sthey're wearing the jeans for and what shethey needs to just make them work for hertheir everyday life.”

    Fixed that for her.

    Unless Lee Jeans really are only going to design this 'extra pocket' on jeans for women.

    (Although the general gist of that... flattering, occasions, etc... perhaps that is the case.)

  19. Haku
  20. Dr Scrum Master
    Paris Hilton

    Why keep it in your pocket?

    Alternatively, ladies can also carry their iPhone like a handbag.

    http://thesakeofvanity.bigcartel.com/product/new-2014-high-quality-3d-iphone-5-5s-case-chanel-perfume-bottle-w-chain-tpu

  21. Salamander

    Or alternatively we could just go back to using sensibly sized phones. Some celebs are returning to using their old Nokias and Motorolas in the wake of the iCloud hacking. Who knows, maybe it will catch on.

    1. fanboi #451 Silver badge

      Ah, but 'celebrities' need a phone that your average really stupid hack (the newspaper type, not the computer one) can easily access the voicemail on, and one that they can switch off the security of, to make life easier for said hack.

      At the NoTW hearing their 'expert' claimed that if the default Nokia 12345 code did not work then he did not bother. Even T-Mobile RECOMMEND setting the default security code to 12345 for Nokia handsets.

  22. xyz
    Joke

    Forgive me but...

    I understand that Apple built its new shiny so it folds.

  23. fanboi #451 Silver badge
    Gimp

    Its not the SIZE of the pocket!

    Its the rigidity that counts! We need trousers ('pants' for you lot somewhere west of Ireland) with stiffened 6.23" kevlar pockets (hardened steel might be going too far) to make doubly sure that you can't start doing Uri Geller tricks with your iPhone ≥6.

    1. Pookietoo

      Re: Its not the SIZE of the pocket!

      Carbon fibre is stiffer than Kevlar.

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