back to article Ab phab: Apple is Britain's coolest brand YET AGAIN

It might be news to anyone who watched queues of rabid fanbois queue for days to buy the iPhone 6, but apparently Apple is still Britain's coolest brand. In spite of its association with the heinously unhip U2, Apple's own trendiness is "untouchable", an organisation called CoolBrands has claimed. It has put Apple on the top …

  1. SuccessCase

    Peak Apple eh Jasper !?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Every chav, his aunt, his mother her sister the absent father will now have one because it is so cool.

      Next they will all be walking around with Burberry phone covers....

      When things become less exclusive it is time for a change.

      1. Tom 38 Silver badge

        When things become less exclusive it is time for a change.

        Surely it is time for a change when the device no longer does what you want it to do - or to put it another way, doesn't this just show that you valued the exclusivity of the device more than the functionality?

      2. whatevs...

        "Every chav, his aunt, his mother her sister the absent father will now have one..."

        Funny, you lot are constantly telling us that Samsung and Android have the larger market share. Which is it?

  2. Khaptain Silver badge

    Only one one the list

    Aston Martin, definately, especially the DB9, all the others are just consumerisms. Even Rolex can be had for as little as 5000Chf which puts it into the realm of affordables.

    Anyone that thinks Apple is cool, obviously isn't. Something that sells by the multi millions can never be on a hip-list. Hip and Cool are what makes you different from others......definateyll not that which makes you the same.

    ( Hip-list, sounds like something a geriatric surgeon's secretary might keep in a filing cabinet).

    1. Peter Storm

      Re: Only one one the list

      Dead right about Aston Martin, especially the convertibles. My boss has one and he'd make Piers Morgan look cool.

      A real wankermobile.

      Edit: Unless it's a classic like a DB5 or similar of course.

      1. Getriebe

        Re: Only one one the list

        DB5, like all XK Jaguars (the earlier the worse) are cool to look at but awful to drive. Look at the modern improvements that get added on - brakes, steering, ignitions, fuel injection etc.

        If its an Aston, and you want to develop arm muscles, its the Ulster. But give me a Frazer Nash any day, cool to the cognoscenti.

    2. sabroni Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Even Rolex can be had for as little as 5000Chf

      Seriously? You think prohibitively expensive = cool?

      Cool has nothing to do with how much something costs. This list is nonsense, the Fonz is not interested in any of these brands.

    3. RoninRodent

      Re: Only one one the list

      > Anyone that thinks Apple is cool, obviously isn't. Something that sells by the multi millions can never be on a hip-list. Hip and Cool are what makes you different from others......definateyll not that which makes you the same.

      Couldn't agree more. 2012 specs at a premium price and Apple fans still think they can tout it as the best thing ever. It just goes to show they care about the brand more than the actual products.

      On another note I have the coolest and most innovative way of hammering nails in right here. It absolutely is not a small rock with an Apple sticker on it even though it looks kind of like one. It took years of R&D to develop and is covered by a patent covering "roughly round with one flat surface" that we totally invented. Anyone want to buy it for £1000? It just works!

    4. dogged

      Re: Only one one the list

      Astons are cool regardless of who drives them but it's not about the price - a Mark 2 Fiesta 16 valve special is also cool.

  3. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Sophie Dahl and Jodie Kidd - models, Julien Macdonald - clothing designer

    Did they by any chance ask anyone who knows about technology to rate an iPhone?

    1. Ali on the Reg

      Re: Sophie Dahl and Jodie Kidd - models, Julien Macdonald - clothing designer

      You are missing the point. Some cool people said it is cool and therefore by buying an Apple product I become cool as well. Research, technical merit, suitability and individual choice be damned. So if you want to join club cool just do what the celebrities tell you.

  4. jb99


    Apple cool?

    Is it april 1st already?


  5. Fab De Marco

    So If I want to be cool.....

    I have to roll up at Glastonbury in my Aston Martin wearing my Nike sweatpants, check the time on my Rolex then tweet about it on an iPhone..... That's the dream anyway.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Android isnt a consumer brand. Xperia, samsung galaxy are brands.

    Android is an operating system.

    1. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Re: Idiots

      I assure you, Android is a brand. Have you never seen the little green android icon? This is called branding. Google even tell you how they want you to use it.

  7. Big_Ted

    Oh dear

    So they ask a few self indulgient fashionista's what is cool and we the rest of the world have to accept ?

    My god what a load of crap, yes Apple kit is very well made, nice in the hand and just works, the price while high is affordable but none of that makes it cool. So no I refuse to accept a company that calls itself Coolbrands is even remotely unbiased or knows what its talking about excpet for the few people it deals with directly.

    This is a bigger non story than the Apple Watch until it is actually released.......

    1. earlyjester

      Re: Oh dear

      No no no.... it doesn't just work, you have to set it up then like any operating system you have bugs, security issues, apps that crash, wifi issues, maps problems, design flaws.

      This is apple marketing at its finest that I hear people quote even after they have had issues.

      I would like to say no one released products that don't work but I have been in the industry to long to say silly things.

  8. Oliver 7

    Double plus good

    Remember those 80s ads? Hardly the choice of the non-conformist these days.

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Double plus good

      Seems to me the conformist chooses Android. They've got the big market share, not Apple.

  9. Stretch

    i assume this is only cool for those who can be influenced by "key influencers", or "fucktards", not for the rest of us.

    Anyway, please join me in a campaign of hate directed against that idiot CoolBrands company.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Me, me, me, me, me....... and me

    "The trend-hunting spindoctors consulted with 37 "key influencers""

    Fashion is such an artificial concept and it annoys me no end that someone can decide based on how they feel what everybody else should be doing.

    People have been (rightly?) angered when politicians or other figures of authority pass laws which make life harder for the common people but ever so nicely comfy for themselves, yet here we see people begging to be accepted into the group of acceptably fashionable humans, blindly allowing themselves to be governed by those who are as dismissive of their followers as politicians are of the citizenship.

    So many people who gladly mock 'religious idiots' for following their book, deity or holy-man are more than happy to base their measure of success and joy of perceived social acceptability on the basis that people famous for living self-glorifying lives say that something is fashionable and if you're not using that something, then you are lacking.

    1. Yugguy

      Re: Me, me, me, me, me....... and me

      This could be the best comment I have heard in a long time.

  11. Tony Green

    Maybe they should have spelled it "kewlest"

    The very phrase "coolest brand" is enough to tell me that all this means is "appeals most to the kind of fuckwitts who are unable to think for themselves".

    Of course there are people who have weighed up the options and decided that an iPhone is best for their needs, but it seems the vast majority of people buying them are only doing so because of the fact that it's fashionable. Same people who un-failingly buy whatever they're told is "kewl".

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Sophie Dahl and Jodie Kidd - models, Julien Macdonald - clothing designer


    Check with the kids..who?

    So not down with the kids, not down with the clearly., CoolBrands is like so yesterday they are not cool.

  13. KroSha

    Neflix would possibly be cooler if the service had been working at all this week.

  14. returnmyjedi

    The coolest person I know is my fifty odd year old next-door neighbour, who works on a fruit and veg stall, drives a rusting Alfasud, goes to the Cropredy festival every year and has a Nokia N8.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    teen cool

    According to my mid-teens son and friends, Apple is now regarded as totally uncool, behind android and even behind Microsoft. The few that carry iPhones seem embarrassed to admit it - one has just been given a hand me down iPhone 5 to which his response is trying to sell it so he can buy a lastest gen games console. Anecdotal, only a snapshot, I suspect kids at our local private schools who are taught that expensive equates to exclusive therefore cool take a different perspective.

  16. NogginTheNog


    I buy and use things that are the most suited to me in utility, and within my budget.

    Anyone who consumes something primarily for it's 'coolness' is a f*ckwit.

  17. Truffle

    Glass door?

    Surely a glass door is relatively easy to break through.

    Maybe its a Sapphire Glass door....but then it'd have to be a tiny door.

  18. Yugguy

    How much could I NOT give a flying whatsit

    About wether anyone else thinks I am cool?

    Fashion is for people who can't work out what they like and need someone else to tell them.

    It lasts for about a millisecond until the next fashion arrives.

    When it's time to change my phone if I feel an Apple phone meets my needs I'll get one. Or a Huwei, or a Samsung, or a Sony.

    And I won't give a second's thought to what some pointless scrotes think about my choice.

  19. DougS Silver badge

    Definition of cool

    For those criticizing the way they're determining this by asking "key influencers", how are they supposed to determine cool? It doesn't work by reviews, specs or anything else technical.

    The people complaining are the people who were never cool in high school and still don't understand that popular people determine what cool is, and whether you personally have a high opinion of those popular people is as irrelevant as it was when you were a spotty 16 year old.

    Complaining about the whole concept of "cool" is fine. Complaining that they aren't deciding what is "cool" correctly because you think the answer it gets is wrong is stupid.

  20. Oninoshiko


    while most kids today wouldn't be caught dead listening to U2 on their iPhone, I wouldn't be caught dead listening to my U2 on an iPhone.

    Guess I'm not "hip" anymore.

  21. Nathan Askew

    Shh - don't tell the oldies

    Don't let the secret out of the bag, let aunt Mildred & uncle Geoff think that Apple is still cool. But as we all know, the brand is now the most un-cool tech around.

  22. Steve I

    Why is it that...

    ...some of the people here trying to define 'cool' probably think that telling a girl that they were up until 3am, recompiling a Linux kernel, is going to impress her. Which it won't Even when wearing your best tank-top.

  23. Big_Boomer Bronze badge

    Define Cool!

    Define Hip! Correct, you can't. It's all just a marketing ploy to persuade people to pay more for something that can be had cheaper elsewhere.

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