back to article Early result from Scots indyref vote? NAW, Jimmy - it's a SCAM

Web users have been warned to be wary of fake results messages about the Scottish Independence referendum. The warning from UK.gov-backed Get Safe Online comes hours after the polling booths opened north in the border in a history-making vote that will determine Scotland's fate. Unlike a political election, there will not be …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    How do we know this warning isn't a scam?

    1. Lexxy
      Trollface

      It's not a scam. For your Special Certificate of Authentic Message, just post your personal details below and I'll be happy to fire that over to you...

  2. Keef

    No law against asking somone a question is there?

    "Unlike a political election, there will not be any exit polls today"

    I can't see the media missing out on getting some unreliable data to report on.

    1. S4qFBxkFFg

      Re: No law against asking somone a question is there?

      Unless it's *seriously* unreliable (i.e. sending the work experience kid to the nearest polling station to ask a couple of people leaving) it would just be too much work.

      Proper exit polling is seriously expensive, for little gain - they'd be better just making it up for all anyone will care about predictions when they get the actual result tomorrow.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: No law against asking somone a question is there?

        I think part of the reason for exit polling is to give the pollsters more information for when it comes to their next 4 years of polls. So they're trying to track what they've missed out, and this is their best chance to get at a large sample of actual voters, who they actually know have turned up. Who're also less likely to lie or forget who they voted for.

        Referenda tend to be far apart, erratic, and all different. So refining their polling models would be pointless.

        1. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge

          Re: No law against asking somone a question is there?

          But surely if you want to check your polling there is a gold standard when results - by voting area- are announced, at least in terms of elections?

    2. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: No law against asking somone a question is there?

      There is (probably) no law against asking the question but in the case of this referendum there is law which makes the publishing of exit poll results and similar a criminal offence.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: No law against asking somone a question is there?

        Although presumably no law on posting the results of the polls on your website if the servers are in poland?

      2. vagabondo

        Re: No law against asking somone a question is there?

        I am pretty sure that you can publish the exit poll results after the official poll closes. The restrictions only apply while the polling stations are open.

  3. Rampant Spaniel

    What are your predictions?

    Not what you want, but what you think will happen? If there's no exit polls we should just invent our own misinformation based fun :)

    I think 55% yes.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: What are your predictions?

      I'd say it'd be a 51% Yes to be honest. Either way, I'd love it to be a Yes.

      1. AbelSoul

        Re: What are your predictions?

        I'm voting yes but think it will be around 55% no.

        1. AbelSoul

          Re: I'm voting yes but think it will be around 55% no.

          Sometimes it sucks to be right.

    2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: What are your predictions?

      I predict discontentment, and complaint that misleading promises were made....regardless of which way the vote goes

    3. mike2R

      Re: What are your predictions?

      Feeling optimistic, I'm going to say 60% No.

      This based on my hopes that No voters have been less likely to declare themselves to pollsters, that some Yes supporters may have more wanted to send a message than actually become independent and will change their mind with the polls so close, and good old in-the-ballot-box cold feet.

      But mainly that I don't want the vote to be any closer. A 20 point margin puts the question to bed.

    4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: What are your predictions?

      Does "vote early, vote often" apply there? If so, 55% yes, 55% no.

      1. William Towle
        Black Helicopters

        Re: What are your predictions?

        > If so, 55% yes, 55% no.

        I'm impressed you got close ... http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3205477/posts

        Personally, I'd heard the turnout was good ... but not that it was *that* good!

    5. breakfast
      Paris Hilton

      Re: What are your predictions?

      I think it will be a disaster for the rest of the UK if they do vote yes, but probably the smartest choice for them. In the interests of trying to create a win-win scenario, I have put a tenner on "yes" just in case.

    6. Velv Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: What are your predictions?

      Going to be a big turnout with 97% registered by last Friday and the SNP hoping to sign up the remaining 33% before today.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What are your predictions?

        With lots of 16yr naive kids voting yes after Salmond promises they get a free PS4 if they vote for independence.

    7. Mike Smith
      Thumb Up

      Re: What are your predictions?

      I think 65% yes, based solely on my pet theory that the reason so many people (97%) have registered to vote is that they want change, rather than to maintain the status quo.

      Plus a bit of wishful thinking. I really, really hope it's a Yes.

      1. S4qFBxkFFg

        Re: What are your predictions?

        I hope for a "Yes", but am predicting a narrow "No" win.

        The 97% registration does have the potential to shake things up though; many of these people have never voted before; the pollsters have never had to take their effect on elections into account before - so a 65% (either way) should probably not be seen as unthinkable.

        1. Swarthy Silver badge
          Big Brother

          Re: What are your predictions?

          The People will vote 100% for an independent Scotland. All those who vote against are Enemies Of The People.

          If the tally of the vote is 60% "No" it means that The Enemies Of The People are pervasive and have corrupted 60% of the population, so their votes should not be counted.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: What are your predictions?

            That's why the pols are probably over estimating the Yes.

            People tend to say they will vote for the generally popular side when asked by the nice young lady.

            So in election polls they say they will vote green/lib/snp but then think of their wallet and vote tory

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: What are your predictions?

              What? Vote Tory in Ecosse? Are you stark raving bonkers (or worse)

              Voting Blue might be acceptable in other parts of the country but North of the (soon to be erected) Wall is just silly.

              The only realistic choice (According to my family) is between Fake Socialists (Labor) and the Salmond Nutty Party who in some respects are more socialist than Labor. Mind you Labor have not been socialist since Wilson became their leader.

    8. vagabondo

      Re: What are your predictions?

      I predict widespread hangovers over Friday and Saturday due to an excess of both celebration and disconsolation. The distillers will do well. I bought some pies this afternoon and already had a couple of bottles (Jura and Talisker) ben.

      slàinte!

    9. arrbee

      Re: What are your predictions?

      60% No.

      but this will prove to be not the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning.

      oh yes

    10. Captain DaFt

      Re: What are your predictions?

      I predict that either way, the announcement will be entertaining if they follow the meme.

      After all, tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

      (Yar! We be hoisting our Jolly Roger! !)*

      *Flag not tended as an insult, just wry bemusement at the (?) coincidence.

    11. PleebSmash

      Re: What are your predictions?

      52% no according to YouGov

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bye bye scotland....

    Can we add wales to the list next?

    1. breakfast
      Joke

      Re: bye bye scotland....

      Apparently they already left.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Definitely a dodgy website

    http://www.bing.com/search?q=Scotland+Referendum&mkt=en-gb

  6. Evil Graham

    Not quite true

    The NSA will know.

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: Not quite true

      Only because GCHQ will tell them.

      But only after the memo's been misfiled, mislaid, then accidentally deleted.

      The official top secret, redacted report should be ready for release sometime in 2024.

  7. AbelSoul
    Trollface

    polling booths opened north in the border

    "Out here in the perimeter there are no stars..."

  8. JimmyPage Silver badge
    WTF?

    wtf

    is a "square sausage sandwich"

    1. Chris Miller

      Re: wtf

      A sandwich made with a square sausage, of course. Another delicacy to set alongside deep-fried Mars bars.

      1. Alan Gauton
        Happy

        Re: wtf

        Also commonly known as a lorne sausage.

        Rather bizarrely I did see someone in Dundee asking for a sausage burger roll last week - he did sound English though. :-)

      2. Pax681

        Re: wtf

        Sorry Chris ............ it was Delia Smith the English cookery writer/presenter that came up with deep fried mars bar in the 70's

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGOaaYeMyS8

    2. Velv Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: wtf

      Yeah, its a myth, a bit like haggis running round the hillsides.

      It's actually a trapezoid sausage sandwich, but getting a hungover Glaswegian to say trapezoid was pushing the butchers luck.

      1. Tweetiepooh

        Re: wtf

        The wild haggis of Scotland may be a myth but here in Hampshire it's the new season pork pies that are becoming available. With children now going to school the nesting sites are much safer and the recent dry weather has helped improve survival by allowing their coats to fully dry out much more quickly giving protection from predators.

        Just ask Jake at Hampshire Farmers' Markets http://www.stanstedfarmshop.com/2014/09/10/finest-pork-pie-ever/

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: wtf

      Iceland food stores sell frozen square sausage slices. Rather like a square pork burger, 12 to a bag for a quid. I imagine the real thing is even more tasty, and probably less healthy :-)

      http://groceries.iceland.co.uk/plumtree-farms-12-lorne-slices-720g/p/48383

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: wtf

      It's also known as a Lorne sausage and it's crap.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorne_sausage

      1. vagabondo

        Re: wtf

        "It's also known as a Lorne sausage and it's crap."

        If you buy it from places like Iceland, I expect it is crap. But some butchers that make their own get it right. A butcher in Dunoon used to have a really good square sausage reputation -- it had to be ordered in advance (1960s).

  9. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Prescience

    And if they'd been using electronic voting machines the result would be programmed known before the polls had even opened.

  10. breakfast

    Salty ire

    The rumour I heard was that in order to cast your vote you have to draw a Scottish flag on a piece of paper.

    Quite a coup for the "Yes" campaign there, I think.

  11. Elmer Phud
    WTF?

    What's new?

    How many folks just keep on with the click-bait without engaging the brain?

    Still several born every minute.

  12. Alien8n Silver badge
    Joke

    Shock result

    In a shock result at the polls of the Scottish Referendum 97% of those polled vote Yes to joining Russia.

    1. Mike Smith

      Re: Shock result

      And President Putin immediately appeared on state TV to roundly condemn the 3% of No-voters as CIA-sponsored subversives, dissidents, intellectuals and terrorists, and to promise the firmest action possible against those who seek to undermine the free and fair democratic process.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shock result

      Surely, if we get a yes vote, we'll soon become part of the US. I mean, we have oil, and no navy/army to speak of, leaving us ripe for invasion...

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Shock result

        Forget the US. Norway are closer. Perhaps they want to have the rest of the North Sea oil. You know, to complete the collection. And it's not as if they haven't done it before...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    sick of it all

    Who cares what they vote besides bbc1 news and the politicians. Besides now more of that free money given to them can now be spent on the struggling southerners..

    They get what is it again free education ? free health care i.e. no prescription charges etc...

    Let me think I was very puzzled about all of that until this whole election wave came about and out of it came lurking North Oil Sea

    So if there was no North Oil Sea - there would not be one politician leaving their warm office to go to scootland and there would be no 24 hours of the 24 hour day spent by BBC new repeating the same retarted message.

    Meanwhile hiding under the carpet all the pain the people in London have to put up with a given example tube strikes yesterday washed down as late finishing engineering work

    Its all a puddle of poo can we now vote to get GB out of Westministers fiddling hands ?

    1. S4qFBxkFFg
      Windows

      Re: sick of it all

      Nurse! More dried frog pills!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: sick of it all

        no offense intended by my original post, the reality is if the Queen has asked to be kept out of it then what on earth has it got to do with the ppl of the south, if nothing then why are we kept in sync with every second of it ?

        This is between Westminister/Salmond and the ppl of Scotland nothing that happens or they do will be in the hands of the people who are not involved in the voting process.

        You may as well infect the news with the Election results of alaska, it is just as interesting as this

        1. Desk Jockey
          Headmaster

          Re: sick of it all

          You should care even if you don't get to vote in it.

          If Scotland votes yes, YOU (the taxpayer) will have to foot the bill for moving stuff around, relocating Trident etc and a whole host of economic changes. There might even be some implications at a European level too. For all we know, the Scots might even try to dump all their debt (a large chunk created by Scottish banks) over the arguments about currency union. Either way, the British economy (both Scottish and the rest) will take a hit as people get jittery feet and various sectors have to be re-organised.

          If Scotland votes no, the Westminster politicians on your behalf (and not giving you a say in it) are going to offer them all sorts of sweeteners, quite likely involving taxpayer money.

          So yes, directly or indirectly your life will be impacted by the results of this vote. Which is sort of ironic really because this is what Scotland has been complaining about in regards to Westminster politics. They get shafted and don't have a meaningful say in what happens. Now they have found a way to do it to those south of the border. Who knows, it might just make people realise how terrible our politicial system has become and actually campaign to do something about it.

          1. arrbee

            Re: sick of it all

            You do know that having "Scotland" in the name of a bank doesn't make it Scottish ?

            hint: look to see which larger groups they are part of

            The proposed move of bank HQs to London is of course less about the so-called "guarantees" and more about the worry that a Scottish government might introduce actual regulation.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: sick of it all

            Trident should be scrapped, total wasted money that could pay for better things such as devices that NHS can't afford to buy simply because their too expensive.

            When a new phone comes out it is expensive, people buy it and their supporting the cost/research for new generation. If everyone went and bought £10 phones from a phone shop then we may not have our current phone technology.

            Back to this specific point when the time comes those older medical technologies should be donated to the third world and new investment into better health care.

            Regardless you would have to agree that having your Media infected and to have no control of what the outcome is - is rather pointless. Blast the Scotts sure but out in the rest of the land what does it achieve. The final result will be just fine. so I will stick wih the title.

            However the entire reason for the title and comment was really based on your very last line. How terrible our political system/Media has become.

            Channel 4 had something on the TV a few weeks back, its worth a watch:

            Why Britain's Establishment is unjust and unsustainable

            This is our real problem and the reality behind all the issues in Scotland. For them to accept the Queen as theirs really says that politically things are in a mess and we are not the politicians, just the humble worker bees who for most care is bread on the table.

            I do how ever think the main reason for this is quite simple, a bit like the film the Jerk, where lots of social flies when there is money and major scarper when there is no funds left. Its probably all related to the size of our debt and now everyone wants to try their own thing rather than be indebt.

            It is happening all over the world spain and Catalan ..

            So although the deicision may impact all our lifes, well yes but we are free and could look at migrating elsewhere where the grass may be greener

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  14. EssEll

    Nonononononono

    "This is just as true for Scotland's independence vote as it would be for ... natural disasters"

    IMHO, those two things could end up being broadly the same if there's a Yes vote.

  15. Dave Bell

    Where did they come from?

    So there is now some official way of making computer security announcements.

    It'a odd how I never seem to have heard of them before. It's the sort of thing you'd expect to get mentioned by an ISP. Maybe I did miss it. Was the notice pinned to the notice board in the cellar, behind the door marked "Beware of the Egress!"

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    as someone who'll be an observer at the count

    there will be no recounts for disputes about numbers, only disputes about "process" .

    there are no exit polls at the polling stations.

    the final count will be done at Ingliston royal highland centre near the airport and the results will be declared at 6am tomorrow. this is due to ballots from outer areas being boated and helicoptered to the main counting area at Ingliston.

    I am a YES voter and the nerves never started till i cast my vote now i am crapping it.

    In all honesty i think it's just too close to call at the moment however what i can say is that the YES campaign have had a MASSIVE voter registration program running this past 2 months thus hopefuly that will tip the scale.

    I do have worries about the postal votes though... over 700,000 of them and to be frank there has been some shenanigans with postal votes in previous elections... we'll see though.

    posting anon as I am an observer and thus don't want to get shat on for posting!

    1. graeme leggett

      Re: as someone who'll be an observer at the count

      "had a MASSIVE voter registration program running "

      Well everyone is affected, so they ought to have their say. Of course the increased registration may have made sure the Noes turn up as well.

  17. Salamander

    Weird result

    I am predicting that someone in the NSA decided to ensure a no vote by hacking the ballot papers and changing the question to 'Do you think Alex Salmond should spend the next year dressed as Dame Edna in a bikini?'

    The result will be 70% yes, 30% no.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "NAE, Jimmy"?

    Unless you're using the word 'nae' as a variant spelling of ye olde English 'nay', your headline should say 'naw, Jimmy'. The conventional usage of 'nae' in Scots is as a substitute for 'not', as in isnae, disnae and 'nae idea'.

    And I speak as one whose gf's Naw vote has just cancelled out my Aye vote.

    1. gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: "NAE, Jimmy"?

      Och aye the noo, etc.

      Fair point.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Someone at NNL said

    Yes 51.4% No 48.6%

    Apparently Lt Frank B Parker is on standby...

  20. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Yank here

    I've been education myself on the issues of this campaign in the manner that any good American does.

    I threw my Braveheart DVD in the player.

  21. JCitizen
    Big Brother

    One thing for sure...

    If it is a 'NO' vote the PM of the UK will be promising the world to Scotland for as much autonomy as he can lie his way through!

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