back to article Look out, world! Space Station satellite cannon has A MIND OF ITS OWN

A satellite launcher deployed on the International Space Station has surprised astronauts by firing off its payload without human intervention. The CubeSat Deployer, manufactured by Texas firm NanoRacks, is designed to emit its miniature satellites on a strict schedule – but the spacemen noticed that the cannon appeared to be …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's Alive

    It's alive, I tell you ! It's alive !

    And now it has guns !!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Nightmare at 20,000'

      The little Gremlin from the Twilight Zone.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Nightmare at 20,000'

        That gave me nightmares that one

        1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: Nightmare at 20,000'

          Or shades of Moonraker - those acting eyebrows are also nightmare inducing.

          And we haven't even got a shuttle with a frikkin laser beam on its nose left to chase them down!

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Is it time to resurrect ROTM?

    Since it's alive and has guns...

  3. Greg J Preece

    So those were NSA launches, then?

  4. harmjschoonhoven

    The video is far better with the terrestial sound turned off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Right..

      And someone or team actually had to CHOOSE that music. The other contenders must have been really bad !

      1. Truth4u

        Re: Right..

        I was wondering if it was a pisstake video but looks like a genuine ad.

  5. ecofeco Silver badge
    Terminator

    Skynet?

    Well somebody had to say it.

    1. Steve Knox

      Re: Skynet?

      More like MPU.

      1. willi0000000

        Re: Skynet?

        Edward approves.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wait, what the hell does someone need all those damn camera floating around for?

  7. gregthecanuck
    Angel

    Oh gosh!

    Sounds like a case of pre-ejeculation to me...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh gosh!

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/09/07/it_jargon_is_absolutely_reamed_with_sexual_doubleentendres/

  8. VinceH Silver badge

    "The two satellites in question are from San Francisco startup Planet Labs, which is planning to ring the planet with the tiny units. The satellites, which the firm calls Doves"

    Well, they looked like Planet Labs' Doves when they were loaded up, and it looked like the satellite launcher released its payload on its own, but can we be certain that a chap by the name of Hugo wasn't controlling the mechanism remotely, and didn't make a switch at some point, with the payload now containing a toxin (probably sourced from a rare orchid) designed to be released into the upper atmosphere?

    1. TitterYeNot
      Coat

      Licensed to thrill...

      "with the payload now containing a toxin (probably sourced from a rare orchid) designed to be released into the upper atmosphere?"

      That's us stuffed then, with no more space shuttles for a certain Mr. Bond to shoot them down with.

      And, what's worse, no chance for a certain secret service boffin to come out with the timeless classic "I think he's attempting re-entry Sir..."

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh I'm really sorry,

    That hasn't happend before.

    "There is plenty of time, we have all these, lets see if we can do better next time eh."

  10. imanidiot Silver badge

    I, for one,

    welcome our new orbiting mechanical overlord.

  11. Alistair Silver badge
    Coat

    Ooops.

    I didn't think I was working on the production system.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019