back to article Apple Fanbois (and girls) already lining up for NEW iPHONE

Apple has yet to formally introduce or set a release date for its next iPhone, but that hasn't stopped rabid fans of iStuff from queuing up for Cupertino's next shiny release. Customers in New York have already begun camping out in front of the company's flagship store for the honor (and attention) of being the first in line …

  1. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Only one word comes to mind.

    Why? Is this some sort of status or group thing to wait for something you could pre-order and get at home? I guess I'm just not hip enough to understand.

    1. Fluffy Bunny
      Holmes

      Re: Only one word comes to mind.

      The correct approach, when given an iThing, is to carefully place it on a chopping block. Then carefully raise your wood splitter (back-end first, not pointy end) and bring it down hard onto the offending iThing. Repeat about a dozen times or so, until it has been rendered safe.

      Any parts still recognisable should be disposed of as hazardous waste.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Only one word comes to mind.

        Idiots like those camping out in NY are what creates this fanbois meme, and I hope it rains for the next few days.

        Other people actually buy this kit as a careful, deliberate choice, usually after it has been out for a while (the primary use of fanbois is being beta testers :). Having said that - that is after weighing off the risk of not-so-good logon security of the one-to-bind-them-all Apple IDs vs. the benefit of very usable kit that tends to work as it is supposed to do.

        However, bigger idiots destroy a piece of tech instead of selling it on ebay, of course.

        1. JustNiz

          Re: Only one word comes to mind.

          >> Other people actually buy this kit as a careful, deliberate choice

          Not true. Any well-informed person that made a choice not based entirely on fashion would have bought an Android-based device.

          On both functionality and price (i.e. the actually important stuff) Apple doesn't have a prayer against Android.

    2. Rampant Spaniel

      Re: Only one word comes to mind.

      If being hip means spending the best part of a month being a tramp then I am happy to leave it to others. I know it is party of the cult of Apple but I fail to see why a company that actually makes pretty decent products encourages this? Perhaps it's just that mentality, to whip them up into a frenzy so they overlook the fact is just an incremental update (like most phone updates are these days). I preordered a note 3 and it turned up the morning of release. Some people got them the day before release. No fuss, no hipster tramping, funny thing is the phone works just as well.

      Now tickets to a Rush or Cream concert I might consider camping for!

      1. J__M__M

        Re: Only one word comes to mind.

        Now tickets to a Rush or Cream concert I might consider camping for....

        I suppose it depends on where you live, but you shouldn't need a tent to score Rush tickets. Dudes know how to tour...

        Unlike, say, for example, Pink Floyd.

        1. AbelSoul

          Re: Only one word comes to mind.

          Dudes know how to tour...

          Unlike, say, for example, Pink Floyd.

          Given that there are only two members of Pink Floyd left alive and still "in the band" (and only founder member is the drummer), I suppose a downturn in touring activity can be somewhat excused.

          That said, new* album comes out next month. Who knows, perhaps Gilmour and Mason might take the old show back on the road one last time.

          *How new it is remains to be seen.

          1. JustNiz

            Re: Only one word comes to mind.

            >> That said, new* album comes out next month.

            Damn really? cool.

            Don't get me wrong, I *love* the old stuff, but I hope the new album won't just be mostly do-overs of from Dark Side of the moon and The Wall again, like they did with the last album (Division Bell). If they are going to do old stuff then they should do the really old stuff, like from Live at Pompeii and the 30 minute surfing sequence on Crystal Voyager.

    3. J__M__M

      Re: Only one word comes to mind.

      I guess I'm just not hip enough to understand...

      Did you read the article? They don't care about the phones, they care about the attention. The attention that you are giving them by saying you don't understand...

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Why?

        From the linked article:

        "While waiting, the Rays are promoting an app from VideoMedicine that allows patients to Skype with doctors."

        The details of the deal between the Rays and the app developers aren't made clear, but there is more going on here than the Reg article suggests.

        1. VinceH Silver badge

          Re: Why?

          "The details of the deal between the Rays and the app developers aren't made clear, but there is more going on here than the Reg article suggests."

          Indeed. Another important point El Reg neglected to mention was to whom they shelled out the $2,500, which was explained in the linked article: Two others who were there before them, and therefore seem to have found a neat way to make a few bucks (provided they get the timing right, and don't end up camping out too long to be the first in line to sell their places!)

        2. Annihilator
          Facepalm

          Re: Why?

          "The details of the deal between the Rays and the app developers aren't made clear, but there is more going on here than the Reg article suggests."

          Yup, there are 4 people involved here, seemingly none of them particularly want an iPhone. First 2 are there to secure the spot to sell it on (for $2500 each), second 2 are there to promote an app by means of the free media that are covering their presence outside the store.

          It's like its own little economy literally built on nothing.

          1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

            Re: Why?

            The fact that there exists a company in NYC which provides a line waiting service for anything from iPhones to cronuts tells you something about how special NYC really is.

          2. Ilsa Loving

            Re: Why?

            "It's like its own little economy literally built on nothing."

            Suddenly I'm really really hoping that Jerry Seinfeld gets in line...

        3. mrjobby
          WTF?

          Re: Why?

          "While waiting, the Rays are promoting an app from VideoMedicine that allows patients to Skype with doctors."

          Isn't that, er... Skype?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple just needs to end the camping out. Do what many companies did long ago; the lottery system. You show up, you get assigned a number. When they are ready to open the store, they pick a number and start from there. This ends the people trying to break the 18-day record and for trying to sell a spot.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Apple just needs to end the camping out. Do what many companies did long ago; the lottery system. You show up, you get assigned a number. When they are ready to open the store, they pick a number and start from there. This ends the people trying to break the 18-day record and for trying to sell a spot.

      Sadly, some people in Apple seem to be desperate to keep the cult thing going. I can see this work in the US, but I'm frankly disappointed it works anywhere else too. If it wasn't so much more functional than the alternatives I'd pass, but our choices are based on simple TCO evaluation in the context of what we do. I can imagine that this works out differently for others, but for us it works.

      1. Alex Rose

        "Sadly, some people in Apple seem to be desperate to keep the cult thing going"

        I suspect they think it adds a few points to the stock price and they are probably correct.

    2. Spleen

      As others have said, the whole camping out for weeks on end, followed by the hilarious spectacle of the employees applauding you in as if going to the Apple Store is something worthy of adulation like running a marathon or winning a cup final (congratulations! you're a mug!), is part of the Apple cult image. When something's parodied in an advert for Carlsberg industrial cider you know it's part of the popular consciousness.

    3. Annihilator

      Yes but that wouldn't get them any publicity/free media, so chances of them doing it are zero.

      Besides, pretty sure Apple don't own the area outside their store, so what they could do about it escapes me.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Dumba$$es.

      Mr T? Is that you?

  4. Greg J Preece

    Wait, why do you have to pay to queue?

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Because two people got there before them. Apparently they don't give a toss about iThings, they just trouser the money from fools year after year.

      http://www.cnbc.com/id/101967509

  5. Arctic fox
    Joke

    I suppose that we should hope that Mr and Mrs Ray..........

    ......... are not fans of the band Police or I very much fear we can guess what they would name a son if they had one.

    1. The Bit Wrangler

      Re: I suppose that we should hope that Mr and Mrs Ray..........

      Stewart Ray?

    2. Spleen

      Re: I suppose that we should hope that Mr and Mrs Ray..........

      If they have triplets they could name them Alpha, Beta and Gamma.

  6. Khaptain Silver badge

    3 minute orgasm

    18 days of looking like a fool, 1 minute to unbox , 1 minute to configure, 1 quick call to another fool, et voila, the orgasm is gone.

    Fapping oneself for 18 days for a 3 minute orgasm just doesn't seem worth it.

    Andy Warhol's 15 minutes will seem very short lived once world + dog has finished laughing at this short manifestation of patheticness.

    (Definition : Patheticness - The incredible lengths that one will go through, to do something completely worthless and twee).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 3 minute orgasm

      Fapping oneself for 18 days for a 3 minute orgasm just doesn't seem worth it.

      But think of the quality!

      :)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 3 minute orgasm

        Think of the chafing...

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: 3 minute orgasm

          >Think of the chafing...

          18 days worth of chafing.....oh la la ...

          1. jimbo60

            Re: 3 minute orgasm

            You're holding it wrong.

        2. Kane Silver badge

          Re: 3 minute orgasm

          Think of the arm ache.

    2. chr0m4t1c

      Re: 3 minute orgasm

      I happened to be in New York a couple of years ago when the iPhone 5 launched and there were TV crews from around the world interviewing people in the line pretty much 24 hours a day.

      The story says that these two have some software to promote, making this a marketing exercise - they'll get 18 days of worldwide press coverage for their $2,500 ($3,200 including phone), which is a bit of a bargain.

      Fanbois? Not likely.

  7. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Holmes

    "Rabid Fans"?

    Are they infected with Rabies?

    Are they drooling/frothing at the mouth?

    If they are then they should be taken away and quietly put out of their mysery.

    Otherwise.... Leave the clearly derranged souls alone. Giving them publicity only serves to make them breed (I can be on TV for 5mSec). No publicity and soon they will give up.

    On the otherhand, Samesung looks on and says, 'how can we get the same free publicity'?

    1. a53

      Re: "Rabid Fans"?

      Samsung could start making phones worth buying ?

      Instead of just supplying tacky plastic things to apple haters.

      Bring on the red arrows, lemmings, see how much I care.

      1. Darryl

        Re: "Rabid Fans"?

        "Bring on the red arrows, lemmings, see how much I care."

        Hey look - it's one of those rabid Apple fans

  8. Captain DaFt

    Interesting contrast here

    A Reg article about the innovations and improvements on Samsung's new phones, followed by an article about Apple fanbois paying thousands for the honor of queuing up to by an iPhone they know nothing about (literally, they don't even know for sure if it even exists).

    I... really don't know what to say, actually.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You may try to read the actual article..

    It may be worth you reading the actual CNBC article and especially watching the video instead of going into rabid foam-at-the-mouth fanboi denouncement mode solely based on the Register's take. You'd pick up a rather important bit of information (no idea why that was omitted, either precisely to troll the Apple denouncement crowd or simply incomplete research).

    Both group of "firsts" are actually using the position for commercial promotion, so they get days worth of TV and media exposure. I don't know if you have ever bought a prime time TV advertising slot, but rest assured that you won't get it for $2500, and it certainly won't get as much attention and coverage as being in the news, globally.

    They're the ones having the last laugh...

    1. Pedigree-Pete

      Am I missing something but.....

      ....Surely, Skype allows patients to VC with anyone they choose (along with loads of other soft & hard VC stuff), what does VideoMedicine bring to the party? Just Googled VideoMedicine + Skype & only the iPhone 6 news resulted. They definitely have a marketing issue if sitting in a queue is their best shot.

    2. Spleen

      Re: You may try to read the actual article..

      That's even sadder, frankly. What sort of person would buy a product because they thought "wow, if someone at the front of an Apple queue is behind it, it must be good"? Well, I can answer my own question: the Rays are promoting something called "VideoMedicine" which lets you talk to doctors via Skype. So it's an app to make it easier for hypochondriacs to moan about their imaginary aches and pains. If you think about it, the Venn intersection between people who spend all their time talking about their iPhone, and the similarly desperate-for-attention people who spend all their time talking about how they might have bird flu, is probably pretty large.

  10. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: andyelliott@outlook.com

      Self promoting? They're promoting some software, not themselves. And shit, sometimes you get a good atmosphere of camaraderie in queues... they can be more fun than many people's workplaces.

      1. Darryl

        Re: andyelliott@outlook.com

        People who wait outside an Apple store for 18 days probably don't have workplaces.

  11. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Not been announced yet?

    Everything it will have is already out there.

  12. a53

    Sadly

    Due to a family financial emergency, my replacement is going to have to wait.

  13. Ken 16 Silver badge

    Paid by Apple?

    I presume that status of being first in line would wane if any product launch is deferred to, say, December and that those in line are not going to be those employed on Wall St. Some, if not all, must be getting an incentive from Apple to join the queue. I've only witnessed one iPhone launch queue (outside the Glasgow store many years ago) and it was mostly composed of the 'geniuses' selling the item in the first place.

  14. hoola
    WTF?

    Paid for queuing...

    Sorry but what planet are these people on that thery feel the need to pay to queue. Whatever the product, this is just insane.

  15. 45RPM Silver badge

    Too much life?

    These people clearly have too much life if they can afford to waste days of it. It would be most equitable if some of them could be relieved of this excess life in order to boost the years of those of us who have too much to do and not enough time to do it in.

    And am I the only person who’d laugh himself stupid if, after all this queuing, Apple didn’t release anything new on September 9th. Just a big empty stage with the words ‘Fooled You’ on it.

  16. Yugguy

    A fool and his money are soon parted

    To be fair it isn't just Apple. Idiots will camp out for all sorts of things just to be the first.

    Me, I'll stay at home with a nice glass of Hobgoblin ale, sititing on my comfy sofa, ordering my stuff online.

  17. Technological Viking
    Trollface

    Trying to set the record (straight)

    They're trying to break the record for waiting the longest for a Jesusphone, but Apply hasn't announced it yet? So, what happens when the event on the 9th says "We're releasing this phone THIS WEEKEND! There are also five units available for purchase here right now!"? The Rays wait for two weeks, fail to set the record, aren't even the first to get it, and still look like buffoons. I really hope Apple knows how to troll this hard.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Raving mad, pal

    Stark, staring, 100%, gold-plated bonkers!

  19. Rampant Spaniel

    The Great Tracey Island Shortage

    of the early 90's. Anyone else remember camping out for that? Lucky little brat didn't even realise how lucky he was. That was a pretty brisk night as well, which idiot put Christmas in the coldest & wettest part of the year?

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