"created using pioneering lean-CGI techniques developed entirely in-house."
On the internet there are certain things you can be pretty sure of. Nubile young women lusting after you probably aren't (any of those things); free stuff almost certainly isn't free, and may not even be stuff; and after 5pm San Francisco time on Friday there probably won't be anything decent published on the Register until the …
Especially the one coming as it is weekend until Tuesday Yay!
What do you mean "the one coming"?? Don't you folks know that the weekend starts Wednesday evening and ends Wednesday morning? That gives you 8 hours or so to sleep, shower and get ready to start all over again ;)
...to more of El Reg, and a bit of a shake up in the content. I actually do browse the site quite frequently at the weekend, and have to look through some of the older articles I missed during the week as there's nothing new.
Also, I personally would like some more articles on cars. I know there was a link to send an email with suggestions, but in my defence I am far too lazy to go back and send one.
I've been reading The Register since I can't remember - 1998? - something like that. And it's my go-to source of information and news. During 9/11 when all the news websites couldn't cope, I ended up reading the latest on The Register. I go to the register before I go to the bbc news website every day. The reporting, if slightly eccentric at times, is brilliant - no bullshit, well written and just the right level of sarcasm. And now I get to read more of it. Well done!
I'm with John.
Maybe some post hangover slow cooker recipes to prepare while hammered, post pub?
"Now, when you come to slice the tomatos, remember to focus on just one of the three sets of hand/knife/tomato in front of you, to avoid adding something more than tomato juice to the chopping board"
Steven "hic" R
Then just for you (well, and everyone on my web site, but if I told you where that is, I could be accused of the Great Sin of Marketing) - Why Every Kitchen Needs a Knitting Needle!
There isn’t much garlic doesn’t go with. Well, except vampires. Though if you want to know why vampires really hate garlic, you’ll have to read my 'XXXXXXXXXXXXX' :-).
So. Garlic doesn’t go with vampires, at least it doesn’t if you’re the vampire and not the walking bottle of yum a vampire tends to look for on a dark and stormy… No. Not on a dark and stormy night. Definitely not on a dark and stormy night.
Cue lightning :-).
But garlic goes with most other things. Well, maybe not trifle. Perhaps. Though…. Hmmmmmm….
No. Not trifle :-).
Still. I was talking about garlic recently somewhere else. And I suggested every kitchen needed a knitting needle. A what? Yes. You heard right.
Every kitchen needs a knitting needle.
So why does every kitchen need a knitting needle? Listen very carefully, young paddy-wack. I shall tell you.
To start with, get some big Portabello mushrooms. When we say ‘big’ here, think about two or three to a plate. A dinner plate. A big dinner plate :-).
Next, take out the mushroom stalks. This is where I’m supposed to say ‘keep them and use them for… (insert something you never get round to doing here)’. I won’t. Eat them. Raw. They’re good. Alright. OK. If you insist. Chop them and mix them with some shredded cheese. Look at the cheese. Decide you don’t like that cheese. Throw it all away. So. We're good with the whole 'stalker' thing, right? Right. Onward and downward. Yes, Jones Minor. I can see you there at the back. Or sideways.
Next, chop up some fresh garlic. Don’t chop it too fine. You’re going to make garlic butter. It’s really, really hard. No, really. It is! It's like, so hard, it's harder than a.... OK. It isn’t. Hard to make, I mean. Just don’t tell anyone. It spoils the mystique :-P. Yes, if you insist. You can use store garlic butter if you want. But chop up some garlic anyway .
Make garlic butter.
What do you mean, how? OK. Get a ramekin. Yes, or a little bowl. But don’t call it a little bowl. Pretend it’s a ramekin. Why? Because I said so, that’s why :-P.
Put some butter in the small bo… in the ramekin. How much? It’s going to thickly cover the frilly sides of your mushrooms. Why do mushrooms have frills? Well, they’re Victorian mushrooms. They’re embarrassed. Yes, that means I don’t know. Or I do know and I don’t care :-PP.
Throw your chopped garlic on the top of the butter. Use a fork to mix it in.
Alright. Yes, I probably should have said ‘let the butter get soft' first. So sue me :-).
Throw on some more garlic. Mix some more with the fork.
Throw on some more… oh. We did that bit.
Now get some tin foil. Make little cups/ boats big enough for the mushroom caps to sit in. Yes. I know. They were big mushrooms. So make big boats :-). The rim of the boat/ cup should come higher than the top of the mushroom that’s going to sit in it.
Yes, you can wear a pirate hat while making the boats if you like.
Yes, or a sailor hat.
No. Not a Stetson. Oh. Alright then, Jones Minor. You can wear a Stetson. Yes, I know Stetsons are cool. Will you put the gun away now, please? Pretty please?
On with the motley. Whatever motley may be. Take your mushroom caps. Take your knitting needle. See? You knew a knitting needle was going to come in somewhere, right? Well, it is. It’s going to go in the mushrooms. Push holes through the cap, frill side to skin side, with the knitting needle. Don't worry that the holes seem to close up some. OK. Are you ready? Now for the next hard bit that's not really hard. Really ready? So....
Cover the frilly side of the mushroom caps with the garlic butter. Make the butter layer thick. When you've made it really, really thick - add more garlic butter. If your skin starts to blister, and a blonde runs through the door clutching a stake - you're a vampire. You probably aren't going to like the mushrooms. If you're not a vampire, put the mushroom caps in the tin foil boats.
Now heat up the oven. HOT. Put the mushroom boats on a baking tray, or in a shallow pan, and in the oven..
This is where the magic happens. The secret’s in those little holes you made. The butter starts to melt in the caps - and runs down through the holes. The melting butter cooks and flavours the inside of the caps, then through and pools under the caps. The oven’s hot. So the butter’s hot. It cooks/ fries the skin side from the underneath. And remember those bits of garlic you mixed into the butter? They won’t fit. Down the holes. So they sit there on the frills. Cooking.
This next bit is purely optional. You can put the mushroom caps under a hot grill (that's a brolier for our colonial cousins) for a while to brown the garlic a little. But you don't want to let them burn or scorch. Really. You don’t. Trust me on this.
No, I’m not a doctor. Yes, you can trust me on this anyway. Well, about burnt garlic, at least.
OK. You’re done. Take the caps out of the boats. Throw away the boats and the melted butter, unless you don't want to. I have no idea why you wouldn’t want to throw them away, but the choice is entirely yours :-P. Pat the bases of the mushrooms dry. Put them on a plate. If they live that long
So there you are. Why every kitchen needs a knitting needle. Or at least, why I think it does. Now it’s your turn. What unusual item is in your kitchen, and why?
No. Not that one. I’m probably too young :-).
And as you have swiftly and wisely seen, this is one of the benefits of the Knitting Needle Special - it's highly adaptable :-).
Variances I've tried:
1: Include the chopped up bacon, both with it mixed into the garlic butter and put on top to crisp while grilling the garlic
2: With suitable mushrooms that dip well in the centre) an egg cracked on top of the garlic once the mushroom is cooked, and put back in the oven to bake or under the grill to cook.
3: Add a side of pan-fried steak (striploin). Fry the steak in that melted butter that collected under the caps because it's got all that lovely garlic (sorry to those that hate or are allergic to garlic) flavour in.
4: Ditch the silver foil boats. Make quality beef burgers, but thicker than usual. Make boat wells in the burgers, and sit the mushrooms in the wells. Now the garlic butter melts down through the mushrooms, and into the burgers as they cook, to help them cook through and flavour them. When they're done, the mushrooms are cooked into the burgers - put them on a plate and enjoy!
So no. No risk of veggie-ness here - unless you want it that way. The choice, as they say on all the bad games shows, is yours! :-).
@The_idiot - I'm blaming you for my oncoming heart disease, that sounds pretty damned good - especially the burger one.
I think we're onto something here with the foodyness stuff - there's an article this weekend about coffee and there were some great suggestions in that comment thread too.
El Reg readership, being pragmatic* foodies? Whodathunkit?
*pragmatic foodyism is fine - when it's being fancy with food for nothing more than the sake of being fancy....less so.
> vegetable oil in your turbo diesel
Why, that works perfectly well with almost any modern injection pump (up to 1/2 oil). With minor modifications you can run on pure oil (eg colza oil). All is needed is a serious boost to the pre-heating circuitry (once the engine is hot it runs on pure oil without a hitch). The torque is (reportedly) increased, too. But the exhaust smells of fries...
I've only seen the full mod on agricultural machines as it's illegal on public roads, but I do know a number of people who routinely run on 1/2 vegetable oil in their unmodified turboD car.
"I've only seen the full mod on agricultural machines as it's illegal on public roads, but I do know a number of people who routinely run on 1/2 vegetable oil in their unmodified turboD car."
According to this BBC article, it's not been illegal since July 2007 so long as you don't make more than 2,500 Litres.
Oh, making fuel is not illegal but where I live any mod to the engine (such as supercharging the pre-heating system, required in order to run on pure vegetable oil) have to be rubberstamped by the appropriate authority before the vehicle can be considered road-legal. Perhaps it's not the case in the UK though.
The suggested non-IT subjects for the weekend will tend to merely pad out the home page synopses. Such articles should be a rare leavening of El Reg - not an almost unrelated weekend binge. By Monday any IT articles from the previous week will have paged out of view - with Fridays' IT articles liable to be missed. That may also make following new comments a bit more awkward - if they were not bookmarked.
Most of the normal IT articles are not time-critical - often having appeared in the mainstream media a few days earlier. What is needed is a bit of traffic shaping to provide a smooth data flow - spreading the normal number of articles over seven days rather than five. The active moderation over the weekend will be a big bonus. That means interactions will progress during a weekend's leisurely reading - avoiding several people making the same comment which is currently only revealed on Monday.
Guaranteed monster page hits; plus a possible record-breaking webcast as the Register Hacks compete to see who gets the job. Some job interview suggestions:
● Cage match
● Drinking competition (you'd probably need to hook up some big data for that one, as I would expect a loooong war of attrition with Reg Hacks)
● Geocache race around London (and other reg-nest cities) where the contestants have to alternate between London cabs and Uber cars; with bonus points being awarded for the promixity of the drivers to each other.
● Ultimate bacon creation competition (only counts if the contestants eat all of their creation without their arteries exploding).
Well, the fewer cheeseburgers and no soda pop diet has made Worstall about 3 stone more buff......although I'd hesitate to claim that being "more buff" equates to "being buff". Having fewer chins but still multiple ones probably doesn't qualify for the state of buffness even if the direction of travel is right.....
Just a suggestion... add it. Other publications do. You could feature "Tech babe of the week", who works in IT and has a nice (server) rack. Include photos and a short bio.
I would call you a dinosaur, but dinosaurs are cool. Go back to The Sun and stop alienating our female commentard fellows.
As for the OP, I work weekends, and it can be very dull. Thumbs up for making it slightly less so for me!
I have doubts about this weekend publishing idea.
The market niche of the Reg is computer trade press plus science and technical reports, all for technically qualified readers who tire of the dumbing down in the mainstream press and TV. Although the tech reporting has lost some of its sharpness in the last year or so.
The weekend will be different, and you will be competing with many other competent sources. Looks like a way of losing money.
Do you think you can maybe convince the BOFH to lift the mobe app from the daily mail? They have a pretty nice one . . . a nice mobe app UI that is, once you get past all the pics of Kim's backside.
I especially like the DM mobe apps UI caching feature as here in California we have some of the worst internet connections in the world . . . funny ol' world ain't it?
I wonder just how much bandwidth that Kim's backside sucks down around the world.
I see the garden. Perhaps gardening could be an option too? Or DIY, el Reg Style! I have a few projects in the to do jar. Just not finding the motivation or... err the motivation to get moving. Maybe some success stories might give me the foot in the ass I need?
It's Friday, work is a distant memory, have a pint!
"There is a subset amongst IT types that love to share their "set-ups" and hovels. Some being cool, others for the horridness of them."
Been done, though it may be time for another update...
Maybe it's time for a re-imagining directed by Tim Burton, Ventblockers III: Revenge of the Mice, starring Helena Bonham Carter as the deranged mouse which craps all over the inside of your PC. There may even be room for a bit part by Gary Lineker?
I appreciate the effort and I think it's going to be lots of fun to get new and varied content from The Register, but you need to take some time off and so do we. I will agree you definitely should have a mod/copy editor working though. I look forward to new content from Alistair Dabbs and especially Tim (Rocket Windows) Worstall. The Register often has details you won't find elsewhere, and you're not afraid to call a spade a spade. Plus the headlines and the humor, oh my gosh you manage it like no one else. When's your next story on the death of the Queen?
Saturday, 12:30CET. I'm wanting to read Dabsey. Only just posted.
PLEASE, just put everything up on a Friday like normal, and let us browse at leisure. Don't f**king drip feed us like moronic Mail readers. Reg readers have the ability and knowledge to pop on line whenever and choose what we want to read and when.
I want to sync my Reg Android app on a Friday and have a cache of stories when I'm away from 3G coverage.
This is JUST to force people to check up more regularly though the weekends, thus improving your Ad display rate. I seriously thought the Reg was above this, but apparently not.
More home HW hacks would be good (whatever happened to the robot lawnmower ?), especially if they have frikkin lasers.
You could start by doing an article on this guy (warning, it currently runs to 41 very long pages and takes more than a weekend to read it all), there is some serious power tool pron to exite the jaded (including doing things with angle grinders I'd never imagined such as using an angle grinder on wood, WTF!).
Yes, a good idea to fill the void with, perhaps one or less of:
O Visits to techy interesting visitor attractions (challenge someonw to do the Lighthouse Museum @ AB43 9DU) - I visited Bletchley following one such Reg article.
O Essays involving some crystal ball gazing - we are still using von neumann architecture and that will have to change if something like memristor technology takes off.
O The best 10 (educational games, sci-fi books, geek presents, perl manuals, single-board computers, microbreweries in some random location)
O More tales of remote working scenarios
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