back to article Ad regulator pulls down Branson-backed magic undies

The UK's Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has decided that Wireless Armour, which promises to protect your crown jewels from nasty WiFi signals, can't be advertised in Blighty. The underwear, which has sought funds on Indiegogo and later attracted the high-profile backing of Richard Branson, claimed that silver threads in …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    pff.. what a load of Bollocks

    'nuff said.

    1. big_D Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: pff.. what a load of Bollocks

      It doesn't seem to have affected P. T. Barnum's offspring at any rate!

      Icon: Who nicked my boxers?

  2. David Roberts

    Other way round?

    Tuck your phone into your underwear to go "off grid" and stop the spooks tracking you?

    Stealth boxers could have a big market.

    Are you stealthed?

    No, just pleased to see you.

  3. Chris Miller

    It used to be women

    targeted by these flimflam merchants. Anyone remember the lead-lined aprons sold in the 90s to 'protect' workers (especially pregnant women) from 'harmful' emissions emerging from VDU screens?

    1. birchanger_toper

      Re: It used to be women

      But those were dangerous times. Remember all of the nasty negative ions we had to be protected from? Some of my colleagues actually bought air ionisers to create lovely positive ions, thereby guaranteeing them centuries of good health.

    2. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: It used to be women

      Harmful emissions from CRT tubes wasn't all nonsense, it's just that the concerns persisted well beyond the point where they were relevant.

      Shooting high power electron beams in the direction of people, even though there was some form of screen between the beam generator and the people did result in various types of radiation, from visible through to X-ray, low-energy beta and possibly even alpha particles or fast ions.

      Very early CRTs probably did emit small amounts of harmful radiation. But by the time they were commonplace in offices and homes, the problems were sufficiently well understood that any alpha (which were probably stopped by the glass anyway), beta and even X-rays were being blocked by coatings on the glass or diverted away from the person sitting at the screen. There is not enough energy in the electron beams to generate gamma radiation.

      So any terminal/monitor made after the late 1970s were not a problem, but the information persisted.

      An interesting page is the description of the stickers on the tubes of Lear Siegler ADM3a terminals (an early glass TTY) at http://www.tentacle.franken.de/adm3a.

    3. MyffyW Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: It used to be women

      Of course women have the good fortune of everything being neatly tucked away. Proof, were further required, that God is female.

      [Other belief systems are available. Scientific evidence suggests evolution, not an intelligent designer of either gender, was responsible for our current shapes. Exceptions must be made to foregoing rule for this commentard, whose curves might have something to do with excessive consumption of chocolate]

  4. The Axe

    ASA still useless

    So wow, the ASA actually reads some scientific studies. Don't know why they ignore it for many other cases such as e-cigs.

    Even if the magic undies are useless why should the ASA try and effectively become our parents and look after us and protect all of us just because a few people believe in silly things. The views of those in the ASA are a bit silly. Why aren't they banning ads for pro-biotic yoghurt and useless cosmetics but ban ads that show cars going a bit fast.

    The best way of getting rid of such stuff is to allow the public to make their personal mistakes and find out that such products are a pile of shite and not buy them ever again. To have the ads hidden means that the few that get past the censor have the cachet of being seemingly validated. It doesn't matter that they are pulled after being shown, the lie has been gone around the world before the truth has a chance to catch up.

    #ScrapTheASA

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: ASA still useless

      What? Let people decide for themselves and learn from their mistakes?

      Such dangerous and subversive ideas have no place in Nanny State Land.

      1. Cliff

        Re: ASA still useless

        The ASA don't give a monkeys about public health, they only care if an advert misrepresents and is complained about. The clue's in the name.

        Pro-biotic? Heard that term recently? No? Because it is no longer allowed for just this reason.

        And just for measure, before anyone whines about 'our taxes', it's entirely paid for by the ad industry. It costs you nothing.

        1. you are idiots

          Re: ASA still useless

          Re Cliff

          "And just for measure, before anyone whines about 'our taxes', it's entirely paid for by the ad industry. It costs you nothing."

          That explains why they are useless, you might as well use wolves as sheep dogs.

          Why the fuck is "unlimited*" allowed in any advert for broadband etc, when the small print says otherwise.

          Complain to ASA and point them at the definition of unlimited in the fucking dictionary, you'll get a wank reply from a marketing wanker.

          (*this should be in unreadable tiny text, explaining how unlimited is actually fair use limited, WTF!)

          1. Cliff

            Re: ASA still useless

            >>Why the fuck is "unlimited*" allowed in any advert for broadband etc, when the small print says otherwise.<<

            So sue the company who caught you out with the bait and switch, get a court to decide. And complain to the ASA more. Actual complaints will focus their mind, they have in the past.

            The ad industry is terrified of being state regulated, so set up the ASA to try to self-regulate and so want to be seen as fair and credible. You're right that they have no real power, but the alternative is state regulation which I'm not convinced is really a better answer as it'll be slower and more bound up in statue and cost the taxpayer money for a similar or worse (by and large) job.

            But there's nothing to prevent you from challenging 'unlimited' in court if you feel (and arguably rightly) that the term is being abused and you bought a contact after being misled.

  5. Caaaptaaaain kick arse

    Totally Pants!!!

    Surprised it's not been said already

  6. imanidiot Silver badge

    Well, Balls

    The product is a bit pants though.

    *Yeah, I got that out of my system now. I was going to do the bollocks joke but Anon up there beat me to it. Someone hand me my coat. The one with the gold thread liner. Ohh, and the tinfoil trilby right beside it please!*

  7. John Tserkezis

    No problem, re-purpose the pants as a hat (with ventelation) and you have yourself a brand new product!

  8. Peter Simpson 1
    Coat

    These good folks

    Carry a complete line of EMF shielding clothing. Including a shielded baseball cap...because tinfoil is so "yesterday" (and immediately marks you as a nutter...you wouldn't want that, would you?)

    http://lessemf.com/personal.html

    // I wish I were kidding

    // No tinfoil hat icon?

    1. imanidiot Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: These good folks

      Pretty sure this guys is wearing one -->

  9. Frankee Llonnygog

    I wore a pair

    and my dictaphone stopped working

    1. Peter Simpson 1

      Re: I wore a pair

      You're holding it wrong (tm)

    2. Cliff

      Re: I wore a pair

      You use a Dictaphone? I use my finger.

    3. Someone Else Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      @ Frankee Llonnygog -- Re: I wore a pair

      I'll be taking delivery of my new keyboard now....

      (Nicely done!)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Branson endorsement

    I have nothing against Richard Branson, but could I suggest that this is an example of how leaving school at 16 may have its downsides?

    1. SVV

      Re: Branson endorsement

      Quite. I would be guessing that O level physics was not his strong point, as he seems to think that wearing tinfoil pants will protect him from goolie-frying wi-fi radio waves, whilst going up into space in a fibreglass rocket won't expose him to any dangerous radiation at all.

      With such a great intellect, we really should be putting him in charge of important stuff like our trains and health service.... oh, sorry we actually are aren't we....

  11. Caesarius
    Pint

    Scary invisible rays

    This reminds me of the joke played on freshmen in my college. A note was placed in each of our pigeon-holes advertising a new technique for marking serial numbers on bicycles, using nuclear radiation. This was to be provided free, as were the lead-lined underpants that should be used when riding the bicycles during the initial stage, when the radiation had not died down to a safe level. We were to apply to the Porter's Lodge: the Porters showed a range of emotions, ending with hilarity and derision.

    At least those precautions would have been effective but unnecessary, rather than ineffective and unnecessary.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Cliff

        Re: Scary invisible rays

        Or Christchurch of course. With its famously precisely 4' behind clock (none of this London time nonsense with all these new-fangled trains), bowler-hatred porters, and other anachronistic anachronisms.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon