back to article Facebook goes down, people dial 911

Facebook's servers fell over today – with users on the US east coast, and in Europe, the Middle East and Africa, complaining of outages. Facebook outage map Oh noes! Circles mark areas of connectivity problems ... Click for bigger map. Source: IsItDownRightNow.com According to IsItDownRightNow.com, the downtime appears to …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wait... what?

    People call the cops because a site is down? Is it April 1st?

    1. Justin Pasher

      Re: Wait... what?

      Just like people call because McDonald's gets their order wrong or they are out of a particular food item.

      This is the unfortunate world we now live in...

      1. khisanth

        Re: Wait... what?

        The kind of people who don't know what to do when McDonalds or their favourite fast food restaurant is closed. Saw a video where some fried chicken place had run out of chicken and people were up in arms complaining that their kids were going to starve, that they didnt know what to do and how would they eat?!

      2. Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

        Humanity

        catering to the lowest common denominator for far too long...

    2. Tom 260

      Re: Wait... what?

      Some people call emergency numbers for the daftest things, maybe they think Google runs the numbers now:

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-28589972 (Where's the late night chemist at?)

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-28408175 (There's a fly in my ear!) - this one has a fair list

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-25560444 (I'm in the supermarket!)

      Also see the related stories off those links for more...

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Syntax Error

        Re: Wait... what?

        So who do you ring?

        1. Bloakey1

          Re: Wait... what?

          "So who do you ring?"

          Ghostbusters!.

      2. Tom 38 Silver badge

        Re: Wait... what?

        the police can/should do something about *Facebook*

        Oh, I wish they could....

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So that's why I saw a large group of tweenage girls crying hysterically, prodding and shaking their mobile phones, screaming that their lives were at an end, accosting passerby demanding they check to see if they had a mobile signal.....

      If only Facebook were online, I would have posted the video.....

      Damn Facebook!

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait... what?

      Apr 1, Aug 1, that's a pretty easy mistake to make, right?

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Wait... what?

        FACEBOOK DOWN?

        Hanging is too good for them! Call the gas trucksFEMA trailers.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait... what?

      Facebork spin-doctors rang it in themselves, hoping for yet more free media publicity.

      How silly of them, for surely no decent media outlet would take up this 'story'...

    7. itzman
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Wait... what?

      No, its 2014, the age of idiocracy and soshul meejah

      1. ecofeco Silver badge

        Re: Wait... what?

        "No, its 2014, the age of idiocracy and soshul meejah"

        x a billion

        Upvoted.

    8. boltar Silver badge

      Re: Wait... what?

      I don't think you appreciate just how many truly stupid people there are out there. The advancement of mankind is generally down to a single digit percentage of the population with the grunting masses dragged along for the ride.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Wait... what?

        My wife, a psychiatric nurse, calls my cutomers 'patients'.

        (AC for obvious reasons)

      2. ToddR

        Re: Wait... what?

        By their knuckles

    9. LucreLout Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Wait... what?

      "People call the cops because a site is down? Is it April 1st?"

      This is the inevitable end-game of health and safety law.

      We need to return to a system of allowing the stupid to die off before breeding, rather than coddle them throughout an artificially extended existence, in which they achieve nothing other than slowing the herd.

      Joke icon over there --> only I'm not wholly sure I'm joking....

    10. ToddR

      Re: Wait... what?

      No just the US of A

    11. Janir

      Re: Wait... what?

      No.. its L.A.

  2. Mr_Pitiful

    GADSLBI

    Go And Do Something Less Boring Instead

    1. edge_e
      Thumb Up

      Re: GADSLBI

      for those of you not old enough to understand the reference

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRUhjFF5a6Y

      1. VinceH

        Re: GADSLBI

        "for those of you not old enough to understand the reference

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRUhjFF5a6Y"

        Before I paste that link into an address bar, I'm going to warn you that if it isn't a link to something relating to Why Don't You, I'm going to hunt you down and feed you to a very hungry gerbil. (I don't actually have a gerbil,hungry or otherwise, but I'll find one when I need to).

        [Nine minutes later...]

        Legend!

        1. jason 7 Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: GADSLBI

          And none of the kids spoke in 'Gangsta Stylee'.

          Ahhh bliss.

        2. Scroticus Canis

          Re: GADSLBI

          Ah the good old days, making a cheese and ham sandwich with out the fear of being accused of insulting some desert spawned religion and a kid with enough common sense to use a knife with out H&SE or police intervention. Smells like freedom as I used to know it.

      2. Mr_Pitiful

        Re: GADSLBI

        Cheers

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: GADSLBI

      Never heard of that show. Thanks for the link.

      Priceless.

      Cheers.

      1. therealmav

        Re: GADSLBI

        Why don't you nostalgia alert for the truly old like me who watched the first episode. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OcGCGS2Ow30

        watch and learn eighties kids

        1. AdamT

          Re: GADSLBI

          Hmm. I used to be a little put out by the implied irony:

          "Why Don't You Turn Off The Television And Go And Do Something Less Boring Instead .....

          .... After You Have Watched This Television Programme Telling You What That Should Be"

          (but, yes, it was still good)

          Was that the one with Doctor What - a fairly transparent but more educational rip off of Doctor Who?

          1. ravenviz
            Headmaster

            Re: GADSLBI

            It was the one where you had to wear stripy socks 'because there was a doris', but they never said what a doris was or ever saw one (maybe because of the socks!).

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    What can I say?

    Further proof (if any was needed), that the majority of Facebook users are fucking idiots.

    1. Herbert Meyer

      Re: What can I say?

      f'ing idiots ? Is that what they are doing instead of FaceBook ? Is there a queue ?

      1. channel extended
        Devil

        Re: What can I say?

        Hey Idiot get in line!

      2. Charles Manning

        Re: What can I say?

        > f'ing idiots ? Is that what they are doing instead of FaceBook ? Is there a queue ?

        No need to queue there are more than enough idiots to go around.

    2. Cliff

      Re: What can I say?

      Alas, as a huge statistical sample, they probably represent the general populous fairly closely. We're doomed.

    3. bigtimehustler

      Re: What can I say?

      Ok, this is the same as saying people in general are idiots because they ring emergency when their cheeseburger has no cheese. Idiots pervade all areas of life, not just fb.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: What can I say?

        Correlation does not imply causation but their are one of two possibilities... a) FB is an idiot magnet or b) FB turns its users into idiots.

        1. MrZoolook

          Re: What can I say?

          "Correlation does not imply causation but their are one of two possibilities... a) FB is an idiot magnet or b) FB turns its users into idiots."

          Ah, good use of sarcasm their.

    4. DropBear Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: What can I say?

      Nothing to do with FB - it's just that moronic 'murrican entitlement. Something bad happened to me? There MUST be someone responsible! Sue someone! Something public stopped being available? Call the cops and complain - the very fabric of society is clearly unravelling!

      1. Cipher
        Facepalm

        Re: What can I say?

        DropBear scribbled for posterity:

        " Nothing to do with FB - it's just that moronic 'murrican entitlement. "

        And no other country has morons who feel entitled, eh?

        Sigh...

    5. Visionman

      Re: What can I say?

      "Further proof (if any was needed), that the majority of Facebook users are fucking idiots."

      You are too kind.

    6. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: What can I say?

      Current Status: Fucking an idiot.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fines

    I hope that they all got fined for misuse of emergency services.

    1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Fines

      " I hope that they all got fined for misuse of emergency services."

      I always thought they were, in the UK, but seeing those numerous examples in the press, and on YouTube etc. it doesn't seem that they are.

      Remember some of the UK cases (I''m sure you can find them by Googling) :

      - Woman complains someone has stolen her snowman.

      - Woman complains she's run out of fags

      - Man reports strange object in the sky - turns out it was the moon...

      - Woman complains that her husband is hogging the TV remote ...

      1. harmjschoonhoven
        Thumb Up

        Re: Man reports strange object in the sky - turns out it was the moon

        A well-known astronomer instructed his teenage daughter to answer the phone at full moon to ask whether callers who had spotted a UFO had also seen the Moon.

        This usually settled the argument.

    2. mr.K

      Re: Fines

      While some people clearly have a too low threshold for calling emergency numbers*, that is not something that holds for everybody. The last thing they want is for people to contemplate over if their issue is serious enough to call for help. Instead they inform the public on occasion or with repeat offenders they have a talk. I think they will go to pretty long lengths to avoid the headline "Called the police for help, got fined".

      *We got separate numbers for police, fire and medical.

  5. Mark 85 Silver badge

    I guess their Tweet is better...

    then telling the caller that they're sending a squad car and a SWAT team to the FB local office.

    1. tony2heads
      Thumb Down

      Re: I guess their Tweet is better...

      NO WAY is it better

      What I expect is this

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOvm_RMlkok

      also with "Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the^W Blues^W Brothers^W Mark Zuckerberg HAS been approved."

  6. johnwerneken

    I dont believe anything facebook says

    The message they out up for me excused this odd time for an outage"Scheduled Maintenance" lol

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I dont believe anything facebook says

      And there ladies and Gentlemen, the perfect specimin of a Facebook user. Freshly crawled out from the primordial soup presumably only because the site that attracted someone like him (or made him like that) was down.

      How he ended up here is anyone's guess though.

  7. connermac725

    OMG

    the end is near lol

    Facebook what is that oh yea that thing people waste their lives on

    just for the opportunity to have FB sell all they know about them to advertisers

    they should have just called the NSA to find out why it was down

  8. Tel

    I discovered, upon finding Facebook down, that I had to FaceRealLife instead.

    The horrors that I saw! Hold me!

  9. DNTP

    Well that explains why the company was so productive today.

  10. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Trollface

    Damage limitation

    "Facebook goes down, people dial 911 "

    So, only Americans overreacting then.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Damage limitation

      Maybe, maybe not.

      Plenty of people NOT living in the US actually think that "911" is their local emergency number.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Damage limitation

        They also went to "high school", graduated from "college", think the UK has got a president called "Obama" (actually, perhaps they are closer to the truth than they ought to be) and imagine they live somewhere near or even in an American state such as California or Texas, wear idiot baseball caps and think the nth (5th? not sure) amendment and "right to bear arms" are British. Increasingly they confuse fictional USA with their local reality and geography, modifying speech and ideas to fit, from silliness such as *going to the bathroom" even in a restaurant or the woods to calling the English Channel, *the ocean". I notice that, in Register comments, and sometimes articles, people who purport to be technical (and so needing to be accurate and precise in their work) can not even manage English spelling and grammar.

        Bloody sad loss of their own culture and identity to a misunderstood, fictional version. The worst for this are our most prominent politicians who definitely confuse USA interests with our own and encourage a common enemy in the form of more able, neighbouring countries that still have some awareness of their own identity and culture.

        So, of course the loss of some asocial web site is an emergency. Actually, get the army on to it to hunt down the saboteurs of our way of life.

  11. Belardi

    Same idiots as

    These are the same idiots who NEED to have a label printed on their phone screen "Peel protective cover to see display" on new phones.

    1. Caesarius
      Pint

      Re: Same idiots as

      Unnecessary instructions have been noted before.

      "Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion."

      —The toothpick instructions that annoyed Wonko

      (from http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Wonko_the_Sane)

  12. Scroticus Canis
    Headmaster

    How come if the US East Coast servers were down ....

    ... it was Californians dialling 911? What's not right, the story or American geography? If the servers covered the whole of American postings does it then just indicate a special level of idiots (IQ < 20) in just one state?

  13. StimuliC

    Damn You! You really went and Done it!

    Yes you Facebook, you were supposed to stay down, offline, permanently gone! You were not supposed to come back and haunt the world with you perpetual spying and reaping of personal information. When I pulled the Fiber Lines from the router you were supposed to stay disconnected FOREVER!!!!! LOL

  14. ecofeco Silver badge

    My favorite 911 call

    My favorite 911 call is the man who insisted the police bring him more beer.

    Repeatedly.

    You can guess the ending.

  15. Ross K Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Downtime?

    One assumes the CIA were installing a few patches?

  16. Toby 2

    3pm on a Friday? Don't think office productivity would actually have changed much ;)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We are seeing

    the fall of the republic

  18. Winkypop Silver badge
    Alien

    Apols to Roger Waters

    And when they found our shadows

    Groups 'round the social media sets

    They ran down every lead

    They repeated every test

    They checked out all the data in their lists

    And then the alien anthropologists

    Admitted they were still perplexed

    But on eliminating every other reason

    For our sad demise

    They logged the only explanation left

    This species has amused itself to death

    No tears to cry

    No feelings left

    This species has amused itself to death

    Amused itself to death

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I suppose it's not as bad as in the UK where we call up the Police because there isn't enough toppings on our ice cream.

    1. Trygve Henriksen

      What kind of topping?

    2. gotes

      Someone call the grammar police!

  20. Mr Michael Strelitz

    Its the FBI stupid

    Wrong number. They should have been calling the FBI for FaceBook Information

  21. j.p

    911

    australia implemented 911 to supplement our local emergency number (000) due to unfortunate US influence on our chitlins.

    1. ToddR

      Re: 911

      Solutions:

      1. Legalise Logan

      2. Close the US

  22. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    Just remember...

    The average person on the street is an idiot. And by definition, half the population is stupider.

  23. Shaha Alam

    but wait...

    ok, so it's a stupid story.

    but if police forces are using facebook and other social networks as part of their service delivery (which they increasingly are), don't the public have a duty to call them if those services go down?

    it might not be an emergency, sure, but it's also a duty for the cops to know when their service (via fb, twitter, wot-not) will be back again. how else will people 'like' them for helping cats out of trees?

  24. OGShakes

    Facebook or Facepalm?

    Nope Napalm the people who call the law for this kind of stuff, its the only answer!

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