back to article METRE-LONG DINOSAUR POO going under the hammer

A colossal dinosaur poo is about to go to under the hammer. Auction house I.M. Chait has listed what it describes as an “Enormous and rare coprolite” said to measure 40 inches - 101.6cm - from end to end. The object is believed to have been the result of a meal consumed during the Miocene-Oligocene epoch, some 23 million years …

  1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    "At a guess it came after a nasty vindaloo"

    Here I was thinking a kebab. Oh, it's a meter long! Ouch!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The normal price is only $2.50/lb

      http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_GqLiIYV1FnA/TGVzGobfSsI/AAAAAAAAB2k/oL0VaJZB6nI/s1600/photo+2-717791.JPG

      Near Cañon, Colorado, USA. Just a few years ago.

      Some assembly required.

  2. SW

    Never mind the quality and length

    How much of an eye watering girth was it - El Reg units only please

    1. Code Monkey

      Re: Never mind the quality and length

      From the picture the girth of the dinocronk is unimpressive. I doubt it's even a third of a lingiune.

      1. Eddy Ito Silver badge

        Re: Never mind the quality and length

        Well if my calipers are correct the ratio of length to max diameter is about 15.771 so going with 7.257 linguini (40") long that makes the max diameter 0.460 linguini (2.536") which gives, assuming a circular section, a girth of 1.446 linguini (7.968"). For comparison a typical credit card is 0.3855 by 0.6123 linguini and a US note is 0.4735 by 1.114 linguini.

  3. Mark 85 Silver badge

    I'd shudder to think that it might have come from something that flew... and I'm glad whatever took that dump isn't around now.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Nah... if it had been dumped from the air

      it would have splattered.

      Mind you, I've known a few people whose desks would only have been enhanced by a large pile of splattered dinosaur poo - the fresher, the better.

      1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re: Nah... if it had been dumped from the air

        Splattered, yes. The much smaller seagull poo splatters as well but it's still freaking disgusting if it hits you.

  4. Chris Miller

    During the 19th century there was a significant coprolite mining industry in (mainly) Cambridgeshire and Suffolk, to provide phosphate for fertiliser. The discovery of guano islands killed it off, but it was revived for munitions during WW1.

    1. Code Monkey

      It's nuggets (no pun intended) like this that keep me coming back to this site.

  5. 's water music Silver badge

    Poo coming under the hammer

    not an activity I want to observe close up

  6. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    El Reg {rolls eyes up}!

    This scatological humour is reminiscent of the playground.

    Keep it up.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: El Reg {rolls eyes up}!

      I disagree. Playground humour is both childish and annoying. And if you say different, it's because you smell of poo.

      1. teebie

        Re: El Reg {rolls eyes up}!

        "Playground humour is both childish and annoying"

        So's your face!

  7. jake Silver badge

    Not a dinosaur shit.

    Dinosaurs all[1] died out long before 23 million years ago.

    As a side-note, looks like diverticulitis is nothing new.

    [1] Yes, I know, my fowl are descendants of Dinosaurs. Stop it already.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "during the Miocene-Oligocene epoch..."

      "..., some 23 million years ago."

      Which means it is bird shit.

      (Yes I know, still dinosaur, but certainly not T.rex or so).

  8. Arnold Lieberman
    Joke

    No shit

    Really?

  9. Pastafarian

    under-water release

    It was probably released under water - a turdpedo. In my experience an air-bourne release tends to curl up

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: under-water release

      Depends on whether the dinosaur stopped or kept walking while pooing.

  10. jm83
    Alert

    [sigh]

    Some people will buy any old shit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: [sigh]

      Maybe they'll buy one of mine.

      The other week, you know, I'd been holding off, and holding off (like you do) to the point where I was suffering from turtle's head, and then I gave in and tottered off to the trap. And it was probably the prescription co-codamol that I'd taken, along with beer and a lot of barbecued meat, but it was like squeezing out a cabbage. I called from the cubicle for a midwife, because it seemed that only a midwife would have the necessary skills to help, but there was no response. After an age of fevered laboring without pain relief or professional assistance, I finally launched not merely a fearsome dreadnought, but more like the entire Grand Fleet, all well formed, stiff, and of immense girth. Piled up glistening above the water they were. Had I been able to gently lay it like cable, moving very slowly along to avoid tensile stress breaking the log (and hopefully controlling the cigar cutter reflex), I'm sure I'd have easily got more than the puny 40 incher that this dino cropped off.

      And then, not realising the vast monetary value of finely formed faeces, I flushed this work of art to oblivion*. In terms of monetary and artistic loss that flush must rank with the day when the Momart warehouse went up in smoke. In fact, the flush was far worse, because Momart only contained crap like Tracey Emin's sex tent,and stuff owned by Charles Saatchi.

      In view of this exciting news, I shall taking to laying my dogs eggs on sheets of A1 craft paper in future, sun dry them, and then take them along to I.M.Chait to discuss terms.

      * Well, the bogs at work have crappy syphonic flushes, and I tried to flush it to oblivion, but in fact left a sizeable residue for subsequent visitors to marvel at. I can be sure, though, that the article being auctioned here is of the wrong colour and inadequate girth to indicate that anyone recognised the value and fished it out.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Euch! You can even see the bit where it detached from the dino's bum.

    Just the kind of thing to chase one's little sister around the living room!

  12. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
    Alert

    an object so intriguing it will pull even the dullest dinner party out of the shit.

    Hopefully won't be purchased by Heston Blumenthal, I wouldn't put it past him to serve it at a dinner party...

  13. Cleary1981
    Thumb Up

    IT Angle

    Slap an apple logo on it. Those fanbois will be any shit with an Apple logo on it

    1. David Walker

      Re: IT Angle

      Uninformed Apple haters got to hate. At 10K its a half-price steal compared to the Apple Watch Edition

  14. hi_robb

    But...

    Does it come with a copy of 'The Origin OF Faeces?'

    /Gets coat.

  15. MikeOxlong

    Bono and Randy Marsh both jealous

    We need to know how many Courics it weighs though, to be sure if it is close to being the world record.

    I'm sure that Bono will contest it's validity.

  16. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Now we know

    Why Tyrannosaurus went "nnnnnn..... GRAWWWWW!" all the time and had such a bad disposition!

  17. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
    Joke

    How much...

    ...to own the oldest poop joke ever? There has to be a joke in there somewhere.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's the human record?

    I know I've done well over a third of that length. Surely someone has done better than half that length. So you wouldn't think this would be from a particularly large dinosaur. How big must a brontosaurus poo be?

  19. Igamogam

    No dinosaurs were injured during production

    If this turd was deposited 23 million years ago it was over 40 M/Y after non-avian dinosaurs disappeared so it can't be a dinosaur plop can it?

    What were the big mammals around at the time, the "likely coprolites" as it were?

  20. x 7

    crappy storyline

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