back to article Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery

A jiggy Delaware pair who allegedly indulged in some hot burrito meets soft taco action atop a Mexican restaurant have been charged with a buffet of offences including "lewdness", "indecent exposure second degree" and "resisting arrest". According to Newark Delaware Police Department's Facebook presence, an officer rushed to …

  1. frank ly

    This is what can happen ....

    ... when you ask for an extra helping of hot sauce. (Is that a sloping roof?).

    1. Mpeler
      Pint

      Re: This is what can happen ....

      Not forgetting some sage advice/comments from TacoBell sauce packets, to wit:

      "Warning! You're about to make a taco very happy."

      "I feel so comfortable in your hands."

      "I would've chosen me too."

      "You chose wisely." (egocentric tacos, I guess...)

      "Do I know you from somewhere?"

      "I'm single...are you?" (erm, a little late for that...)

      "Dibs on the taco."

      "Has catsup been talking smack about me?"

      "We could all use a little squeeze now and then."

      "That's my ticklish spot."

      "You bring the appetite, I'll bring the heat."

      "Guess it's just you and me now." (yeah, and a thousand other people....)

      "I carry my weight in my midsection." (erm, maybe in a few months...?)

      "Add a little verde to your life."

      "It would be an honor to sauce your food."

      "This is gonna end with you eating me, isn't it?" (hey, that's on a sauce packet...)

      "Wait, I want to remember you like this."

  2. Don Dumb
    Pint

    "Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage"

    Have a beer for that sub-headline

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: "Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage"

      Thanks. I'll head to the fridge right now...

    2. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      Re: "Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage"

      Were they fish tacos? Inquiring minds want to know ...

    3. Mpeler
      Pint

      Re: "Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage"

      And another beer....

      I imagine they were the Taco the town......

      1. Mpeler
        Coat

        Re: "Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage"

        All because he's a boy named Suh?

        (apologies to Johnny Cash) (and everyone else, too.....)

  3. Shane McCarrick

    The Panera next door would at least have given them some privacy........

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Shane McCarrick

      Read the article and note the addresses. It would appear that they ventured out onto the roof from one of their own apartments, simply staying indoors would have given them more than enough privacy, so much so, that it seems more than likely they wanted to be seen.

      However it could be that the apartment was full, a party for example, and they did indeed seek privacy on the roof.

      Given the choice, I think I'll go with the first theory.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: @Shane McCarrick

        I'm thinking lack of air conditioning. Too hot inside for rumpy bumpy, so they just took it outside where it was cooler.

  4. Joey

    Why?

    Is this (particular) rubbish reported in The Register?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Why?

      The IT angle is that you can use Google Streetview to assess the veracity of the story and get an idea of the location etc.

      1. Scott Pedigo
        Coat

        Re: Why?

        The IT angle: I can see a tenuous connection with various Unix commands. Here's my "man" page:

        type: she was his, and vice-versa

        tee: what she was wearing

        strings: he has a nice trophy collection

        touch: how this all got started

        wait: what they failed to do

        strip: what they did

        head: what he wanted

        tail: what he got

        expand: what happened to the burrito (that's a little donkey, right?)

        join: the connection between burrito and taco

        time: there wasn't enough

        nice: right up until the police arrived

        split: what they tried to do once the police arrived

        alias: what he and she tried to give to the police

        what: the crime of combining burritos and tacos in public

      2. Volker Hett
        Pint

        would have been better

        with playmobile reenacting :(

        Beer instead

    2. Andrew Commons

      Re: Why?

      So they can use the headlines of course.

    3. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Why?

      God alone knows. The question of how this and similar rubbish keeps appearing out of nowhere has been haunting us for over ten years. It's a complete mystery.

      1. ItsNotMe
        WTF?

        "The question of how this...keeps appearing out of nowhere has been haunting us for over ten years"

        So Lester...just exactly who is in charge there...if you don't know how this keeps happening? Hmmm?

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: "The question of how this...keeps appearing out of nowhere has been haunting us for over ten years"

          Your guess is as good as mine ;-)

          1. ItsNotMe
            Pint

            Well...I'm not too busy at the moment.

            Let me know if I can help out in any way.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Why?

        "It's a complete mystery."

        Hey, how come you don't get a staff gold badge? Upvoted to help you on your way to silver ;)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Facepalm

      Re: Why?

      Oh Joey, you really don't get the bootnotes section do you?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least...

    ...they're not the usual ugly as sin eye/memory bleach required couple. Hell, you can even tell which is the male and female.

    Must also say that $1,800 bail seems a bit steep. Newark must be a tough place for real criminals.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: At least...

      Have to agree, especially the woman. I'd "tap-as"...

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        Re: At least...

        Oh you just had to slip that one in...

        1. Steve Goodey

          Re: At least...

          "Oh you just had to slip that one in..."

          That's what she said.

      2. Yugguy

        Re: At least...

        You have very low standards.

        I'm not sure I'd reach the vinegars looking at that face.

        1. h4rm0ny
          Thumb Up

          Re: At least...

          >>You have very low standards.

          Oooh, is it time again for someone on the Internet to crow about how a woman is below their sexual standards again? I guess it is.

          Care to share a photo of yourself taken by a police photographer shortly after arrest. Thanks! :)

  6. Buzzword

    Intoxicated

    It's usually safe to assume drugs are involved in stories like this.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Intoxicated

      Usually viagra, but doesn't look like it would have been necessary here.

    2. JLV Silver badge

      Re: Intoxicated

      & probably some of that nasty rock n roll music too.

  7. ukgnome

    Dammit Lester!

    I want a shrimp taco now......why doesn't the UK understand the importance of mexican food?

    If I start a kickstarter for a Del Taco where should I put it, and who would want to be in on it.

    1. Steven Raith
      Joke

      Re: Dammit Lester!

      "I want a shrimp taco now......why doesn't the UK understand the importance of mexican food?"

      In the UK, we have laxatives.

      (apologies)

      Steven R

      1. SoaG

        Re: laxatives

        and a lot more Indian food.

      2. Lyndon Hills 1

        Re: Dammit Lester!

        Shame you can only upvote a comment once. That deserved more. Or maybe I should ask GCHQ to do it...

        1. Steven Raith

          Re: Dammit Lester!

          Lyndon, I'm an upvote whore, I'll take them from anyone, even GHCQ.

          On the subject of things that make you poo in extremis, I recently discovered that crushed chillis, while an excellent way to make almost anything utterly delicous, are rather like a good whiskey - not to be enjoyed too much on a worknight.

          That day at work after that four cheese and a fistful of chilli dinner was an excrutiating one.

          I'm 32, I should know these things by now...

    2. Mpeler
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Dammit Lester!

      "Del Taco"? I thnk what you mean is Taco Belle....

      Paris, because she's not afraid of heights.....:)

      (P.S. I know it's Taco Bell....I think Del Taco and Taco Bell are both from Glen Bell)...

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Dammit Lester!

        ""Del Taco"? I thnk what you mean is Taco Belle...."

        It's Del Boy and Rodneys new venture you plonker!

      2. ukgnome

        Re: Dammit Lester!

        Nope - I mean Del Taco, I wouldn't set foot in a Taco Bell.

        www.deltaco.com

        1. Mpeler
          Pint

          Re: Dammit Lester!

          In that case, Baja Fresh - no microwaves or can openers, etc.

          http://www.bajafresh.com/

          Btw, Glen Bell wasn't directly connected to Del Taco (my bad), but he did give them help early on...

          The best tacos are usually from the taco trucks (then again, go to Mexico and ask for a taco - you'll get either a blank stare or something that looks almost, but not completely, unlike an American taco...).

    3. skeptical i
      Pint

      Re: Dammit Lester!

      Someone in Delaware might have gotten some shrimp burrito, or maybe it was beefsteak, the article didn't go into detail.

      Cerveza to wash down the burrito, mi amigo. -->

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They should have been left alone

    They should have been left alone. They only did the job nature gave them. Multiplying their DNA.

  9. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    Looks more likely to me

    that they were on the awning of the pizzeria next door (much more visible, easy access via the conveniently located windows, news reports are always wrong about something) so can we please restart this thread with Italian jokes instead.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cracking response time frm the local PD

    I would never have envisaged getting caught within 3 minutes.

    1. DNTP

      Re: Cracking response time frm the local PD

      This is exactly how every police department in every jurisdiction I've lived in would have responded to this.

      Any call about noisy sex or a college party would have a dozen shirts there in minutes. Burglary in progress? Half an hour. But the time a drunk guy was using a bat to try and bash open the door to the apartment building? "Go tell him to go away, and call us back if he actually breaks it down."

      To be fair, I didn't feel like confronting him myself and he never actually broke in. Just did a hundred bucks worth of damage to the foyer and the door. Way to go cops.

  11. Alan Sharkey

    How did they make it last 3 minutes :)

  12. Identity
    Coat

    Old Joke

    A couple were going at it on the roof of a whorehouse when the action got so frantic, they fell off. A passerby knocked on the door and said, "Lady, your sign fell down."

  13. Identity
    Coat

    Old Joke

    A couple were going at it on the roof of a whorehouse when the action got so frantic, they fell off. A passerby knocked on the door and said to the madam, "Lady, your sign fell down."

  14. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

    The old song

    What did Dela Ware?

    Less than a brand New Jersey, it seems.

  15. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    The real question is

    Who are the sad fuck-nots who reported them to the police?

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