back to article El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

We're delighted to report that the Valladolid tentacle of flatpack world superpower IKEA does indeed lie on "I've Got A Screw Loose Street", and we've got the photos to prove it. Back in 2011, as construction of the 34,700m2 particle board megarepository was under way on virgin ground in Arroyo de la Encomienda, on the …

  1. Pete 2

    Better than FYRKANTIG Close

    > IKEA asked its Facebook fans to vote on a name for the new road

    Presumably a close second was: How the hell do I get out of here? Avenue

    which narrowly beat: Dam' I forgot the handles Way

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Shouldn't it be something like 'there's always something missing from the pack' or even better '02036450000 Street' which happens to be the customer services number.

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Better than FYRKANTIG Close

      All the street numbers are given as Aisle 12, Bay 4.

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        Re: Better than FYRKANTIG Close

        where aisle 12 is not next to aisle 11 or 13 but for some obscure reason is in a different building.

  2. Peter Methven

    I have your missing bits...

    That's strange... I always seem to have bits left over when ever I build anything from IKEA :-)

    1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

      Re: I have your missing bits...

      I also do, as well as someone to tend to me when I manage to hammer my big thumb, thankfully screwdrivers are not normally required instead hex keys which arent as sharp :D

      1. chivo243 Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: I have your missing bits...

        Wait until you have to move house, and disassemble these wonderful products, then you try to re-assemble you either become an Ikea re-engineer expert (drill and small screws seem to work best) or burn the shit on the spot.

        btw, the nice hex head wrench is always included too. After the missus came home with 3 new Ikea items for the boy, I now have 6! Maybe they should leave them out of the box, and have a small bin at check out and be encouraged to grab one if it’s your first visit.

        drink up, it’s Friday!

        1. Danny 14 Silver badge

          Re: I have your missing bits...

          better to use a cheap cordless drill with a hex bit, saves your index finger bruises (on bigger builds). Cheap drills wont strip the heads either (or I suppose an expensive one with proper torque controls, my £6 BandQ one does the job nicely, it hasn't the power to overtorque)

  3. Anonymous Blowhard
    Thumb Up

    Democracy in action

    It's good to see that the Mayor and Ikea went along with the people's choice on this; even if it was a humorous dig at the sponsor.

    Reminds me of Sheffield's "Letsby Avenue":

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/27/letsby_avenue/

    1. Lars Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Democracy in action

      I had a look at that link and must admit it took some time to grasp it. But I wonder how many understand this "by" which is the Norse word for willage, Rugby for instance and hundreds in Northern countries, Visby and so forth and why not by-election, willage election a remainder of how old democracy is in the norh. One of these silly jokes I remember is the politician who said - I am thirty and my wife is thirtytwo. And if that does not sound like I am dirty and my wife is dirty too then you have no imagination.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder if maps of the shop make it unclear which way is up?

  5. Lord Raa

    This reminds me of reports of the town "Fucking" in Austria having problems with tourists stealing the signs.

    I think they did get around to selling the signs. I can't recall and I'm at work, so I'm not doing searching the internet right now.

    1. Shrimpling

      There is a village in Warwickshire called Wiley with a similar problem.

      The village sign has been replaced with a massive rock with Willey carved into it, I don't think anybody has tried to steal that yet.

      1. frank ly

        Even better, would be a massive rock carved into the shape of a 'wiley'.

      2. Bronek Kozicki Silver badge

        massive rock, you say? Something's wrong with my eyes, I read that word differently first time

    2. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      Eglish mono-speakers ruining the world for the rest of us

      In Montreal (while I was living there) the city council forced a Japanese restaurant to change names, after a neighbourhood complaint from self-entitled parents. The name of the restaurant was that of a Japanese style (well, a karate style, as much as I loathe karate; bloody peasants trying to defend themselves from the weaponised nobility*).

      That name: Fukyu.

      *just kidding

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. dajames Silver badge

        Re: Eglish mono-speakers ruining the world for the rest of us

        In Montreal ... a Japanese restaurant ... The name of the restaurant ...: Fukyu.

        There used to be an "Eastern Fusion" restaurant in Battersea named Ho Lee Fook. I don't recall any complaints ...

        1. Isendel Steel

          Re: Eglish mono-speakers ruining the world for the rest of us

          I'm convinced the one referenced in "Werewolves of London" ( Lee Ho Fooks ) should have been done that way,

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. 's water music Silver badge

      misjudged

      Withdrawn due to poorly judged Nazi reference. Sorry.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        Re: misjudged

        Is there any other kind?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There is an street named AC/DC

    Located in Leganés (Madrid, Spain) The plaque was stolen almost daily until they started to sell the plaques as souvenirs. Best business idea ever.

    1. Buiatra

      Re: There is an street named AC/DC

      That´s true. I lived there and I think they finally draw the sign on the wall. The day the Young brothers were there with former major:

      http://img.europapress.net/fotoweb/fotonoticia_20140415110343_800.jpg

      And you can still get one here:

      http://www.guitartuning.es/index.php?show=tuneados&section=tuneado

    2. Winkypop Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: There is an street named AC/DC

      That and also:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ACDC_Lane

      In Melbourne.

  8. A K Stiles
    Devil

    Store designs from hell

    I think the Ikea store designers had a former life designing Las Vegas casinos, carefully constructing the places so you never know which way to go next - I'm not even sure that left hand wall tracking works to get you out of those places, or the casinos!

    1. SoaG

      Re: Store designs from hell

      The Ikeas I've been in, left side of the walkway is the interior walls, so no, that won't work.

  9. John Riddoch

    Edinburgh

    On the outskirts of Edinburgh, we have an Ikea and Costco next to each other. The road is call "Costkea Way". I don't know if they'll bother renaming the road if either of them leave/rebrand...

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Edinburgh

      Is there an Alan Key lives there by any chance?

  10. GreggS

    Gotham

    In Nottinghamshire always has its signs stolen, can't think why. Perhaps they need to employ a vigilante law enforcer to stop it happening.

    1. Ben Bonsall

      Re: Gotham

      If they are officially employed, can they really be described as vigilante?

      WANTED: Security Guard for road sign. Must have own cape.

  11. Mark #255

    Seagate's HQ

    To bring a slight IT angle, Seagate's old headquarters in Scotts Valley, CA was on Disc Drive.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Seagate's HQ

      "Disc Drive"

      With the British English spelling? - or is that a Spanish spelling?

      1. Mark #255

        Re: Seagate's HQ

        It's actually (or it was - they talk about hard drives now) Seagate's preferred spelling. My father (who used to be a purchaser for a now-defunct UK computer manufacturer) has a Seagate T-shirt with a watercolour-esque print of a drive, titled "The Art of the Disc Drive" on its back.

    2. SeanDinfo

      Re: Seagate's HQ

      I always wondered why it was called Disc Drive, now I know. What was I assume their building is now a photo finishers. Nowadays they are in a large glass building next to Armadillo Willys in Cupertino.

      1. markw:

        Re: Seagate's HQ

        Armadillo Willys — a fast food concept too far...

        1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: Seagate's HQ @markw:

          Bastard!!!! --------->

  12. TRT Silver badge

    But the demanding public need to know...

    Did our intrepid Ikeanauts leave with £73-worth of tut along the lines of batteries, small cuddly mice, toilet brushes, suction cups, obscure foam plastic things that might be for stopping fingers getting caught in drawers but you're not really sure how they fitted on, bargain fire extinguishers etc.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But the demanding public need to know...

      Not forgetting 3 hundred weight of tealights and a bag of treat size Daim Bars!

    2. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: But the demanding public need to know...

      Time to 'fess up. We did buy a novelty latex starfish ice cube tray - €1.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: But the demanding public need to know...

        What for?

        1. Irony Deficient

          Re: But the demanding public need to know…

          For €1, apparently.

          1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

            Re: But the demanding public need to know…

            quite amusing. There, have a free +1

    3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: But the demanding public need to know...

      Ikea went downhill in my estimation when they stopped selling Reindeer Salami.

      1. Rob
        Coat

        Re: But the demanding public need to know...

        This thread seems more about willies than Ikea and street names.

  13. frank ly

    re. Katarina's trainers

    Does this indicate a tendency towards astroboffinry? It might be a good idea to get her a telescope for Christmas.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: re. Katarina's trainers

      Surprising the number of Spanish women who smoke pipes ...

    2. MrT

      Re: "Telescope for Christmas"...

      ... or the next level of dance classes? :-)

  14. ukgnome

    Is it wrong that I like to see ladies with pipes?

    And does it have a particular name?

    *Mrs gnome has a pipe that I insist she chews on when she is doing her degree work, well now she's on her forth I figure she has every right to be boffinised.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
  15. Jonathan Richards 1
    Happy

    For extra bonus points...

    ... one of the screws in the signs ought to be somewhat oversized and not properly tightened. Sigh. One can't have everything.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: For extra bonus points...

      I'm sure one of them will be, by accident if not design.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: For extra bonus points...

      >one of the screws in the signs ought to be somewhat oversized

      If there were it wouldn't be difficult to put right as there are still iron mongers in Spain where you can buy just one screw.

      1. nbauers
        Happy

        Re: For extra bonus points...

        Ah yes, a ferretería or ferret shop in English

        1. Peter Simpson 1
          Thumb Up

          Re: For extra bonus points...

          @nbauers: But my hovercraft...

      2. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

        Re: For extra bonus points...

        I don't know specifically about the UK, but there are shops where you can buy any number of screws in ALL the countries I've recently been to (US, Canada, Germany, France, Finland, Spain). If you think there's no such thing in your place, you've probably not looked hard enough.

      3. Captain DaFt

        Re: For extra bonus points...

        "there are still iron mongers in Spain where you can buy just one screw."

        Not to mention numerous bordello's as well.

  16. Jock in a Frock
    Joke

    I would laugh my nuts off...

    ... if the sign saying "I've got a screw loose" - !actually! had a screw loose.

    Oh, the iron(monger)y!

  17. Hodders

    Hang on..

    According to Google translate, it says " Street I have a screw" ??

    Inquiring minds need to know - do you have a screw - or a loose screw?

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Hang on..

      That's Google Translate for you.

    2. Peter Simpson 1
      Happy

      Re: Hang on..

      You've made a wrong turn. You're in the "red light" district...

    3. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      Re: Hang on..

      I can't be bothered to check the Google but the Spanish in the article is sound (as you'd expect from Lester). Just for the added unnecessary bit of trivia, the Spanish verb "faltar" has the same root as the English "fault" or "default" and -in the present context- the meaning is litterally "missing".

      There you have it, straight from the mouth of someone who used to know the horse's cousin.

      1. Hodders
        Pint

        Re: Hang on..

        Thank you all

        My faith in the linguistic ability of El Reg correspondents has been restored.

        Time for a pint..

        1. moiety

          Re: Hang on..

          In Spanish, falta can be 'I lack' or 'I need', so translating it to English makes it marginally filthier.

          1. moiety

            Re: Hang on..

            Tornillo is something that is turned. Screw, vice...something that you apply torque to. So unless you're doing helicopter sex (and by that I mean some sort of kama sutra torque-relevant 360 degree horizontal spin; not sex where your parents hover anxiously waiting to pass you tissues when needed and have tea already waiting for half time) then tornillo isn't really the word. There are a couple of Spanish words that might do the job; but none that would have gone on a sign in public.

            The fault; when you think about it, is in the English. Screwing someone rarely involves torque. Or not much beyond the normal wriggling.

  18. Simon Harris Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Not only IKEA... to add an IT angle

    there appears to be an Apple Store on I've got a screw loose street too - how apposite!

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Not only IKEA... to add an IT angle

      I think they eliminated screws from most of their product line...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not only IKEA... to add an IT angle

        So Apple would now be on loose glue street?

  19. Billa Bong

    That's not why I go to IKEA

    It's conveniently half way between my house and my wife's parents, and sells good meatballs.

    It's just a shame I can't get out of there without picking up some tat from the Market Hall.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    nuts tightening

    Do you think the local Mayor has to follow IKEA's advice, and "periodically tighten the screws to ensure stability" on the road signs ?

    Coat taken and taxi booked - "To the Market Hall Alfred! Must purchase more tat-based crack"

  21. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: more of Katarina please!

      [smart and tasteful comment about screws]

      1. Simon Harris Silver badge

        Re: more of Katarina please!

        Now we've had pliers can we have a 20 interesting facts about screws BuzzGasm article please.

    2. SoaG

      Re: more of Katarina please!

      Sounds like the police should be getting a warrant for your HDD any day now.

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Re: more of Katarina please!

        Yes. Bear in mind my daughter is 12 years old, so let's keep it clean, eh?

        1. petur
          Flame

          Re: more of Katarina please!

          "Bear in mind my daughter is 12 years old"

          Smoking a pipe?

          ...with matching(!) icon

  22. Stratman

    "myself and my glamorous assistant and apprentice boffin Katarina rolled up"

    Should that not be "When my glamorous assistant and apprentice boffin Katarina and I rolled up" ?

    Would anybody really say "When myself did something"?

    Words are the tools of a journalist's trade, using tools incorrectly causes problems.

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Spanish get the win for having a sense of proportion as well as a sense of humour.

    Well done that municipality.

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      I don't know, in my experience there's always the right number of screws*. That wouldn't be a problem anyway, as I do usually have -at home- more screws than strictly necessary**. On the other hand*** I once did have to re-drill a hole that wasn't "finished"****.

      * some would say there's never enough of that but I'm impervious to double-entendre

      ** don't try the double-entendre, you're wasting your time

      *** did I mention that I don't get double-entendres?

      **** don't even bother

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sticker

    It is interesting that someone managed to get high enough to put a sticker on that sign. Someone else then appears to have managed to remove everything except the glue.

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      Re: Sticker

      > It is interesting that someone managed to get high enough to put a sticker on that sign.

      Yeah, Marijuana use is rampant in Spanish youth. Youngsters, they just can't get legally drunk like the rest of us. Oh wait, you meant "high" as in "2 meters"? Well, given the astronomical height of the sign I'd say they, like, put their arm up. From which I can cunningly deduct that they were either wearing a T-shirt, or a well-cut costume. Or that they did not mind terribly much about how their cheap costume reacted to lifting their arm. Which is it now? Life is a neverending enigma! Perhaps they didn't even wear a costume! It's Spain after all, I've been told that they all sold their costumes to EU thrift shops as a part of redeeming the national debt. Or sumfin.

      Or maybe there was a smudge on the lens. Oh well, whatever.

      1. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

        Re: Sticker

        Back of the enveloppe calculations: the (somewhat nice-looking) model looks like she is, roughly, say, 1m62 (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm probably not that far off). That puts her max reach up at ~2m10, which seems to be the bottom of the sign (back of the envelope estimation, again). Scaling up, it means that a 1m75 male would have no problem sticking it there without even jumping (1m75 is a tiny bit taller than the mean Spanish guy; I'm quite the optimist type. More scientifically, in any population youngsters are above the mean height, for reasons both physiological and evolutionary; they're also more likely to put stickers up there.)

  26. RedneckMother

    Well...

    I've always been accused of having a screw loose, and reply "it's better than having a loose screw".

    Thank you, I'll be here all evening.

  27. StimuliC

    Street naming is so much fun lol

    Makes me think of the streets locally a developer named Thisa way, Thata way, Whicha way.

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