People just won't listen, will they?! It must make the EU hopping mad.
And if people don't start to listen ... Eventually it will be like water restrictions, won't it?
People will only be allowed to use Google on Wednesdays and Sundays. Every other day they'll have to use Bing (apart from Monday, 4pm - 7:30pm, when they must use Yahoo).
EU Citizens will be able to earn EuroCoins for searches on niche engines. Triple coins on a Sunday, for using that Wolfram thing. Anyone using Ask more than twice in a decade will be entitled to a week off work, unpaid, and receive three years worth of Saturday afternoon Google search credits (for use before 6am)
As a weekend approaches, with people desperate for their Google-fix, a black market in screen-grabs of the Google Results Page will flourish. The most highly prized gear will be animated gifs of the end-to-end search process (including auto-complete!!). People will be murdered for possession of the raunchiest material and old men will be prosecuted for enjoying it in the company of teens.
The Grabbie-Racket will finally be exposed in the Daily Mail, when a ninety-four year old great grandmother of nineteen is heartlessly jailed for the possession of only 4 (four!) USB sticks.
Horrified by the fallout of the old woman's jailing, advertisers will abandon search engine placement altogether. Instead concentrating on advertising in pr0n videos and unlicensed streams of sporting events.
Thereby completely ruining the only previously decent content on the web, causing everyone to abandon it and return to using Teletext.
This will cause the fledgling ski-tourism industry in North Korea to collapse, as everyone returns to holidaying for a fortnight in Torremolinos. In a fit of pique, the North Koreans will launch a massive nuclear strike against Google's HQ; wiping out much of the moon (and several hot air balloons) in the process.
Before a dead Steve Jobs arises and puts all the blame on Samsung, then has a law passed mandating every man, woman and child buy Apple wearables engraved with the face of Jonny [sic] Ive.
The EU says: Stop using Google. You know it makes sense.