back to article Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

A US foreign exchange student has become a deserved internet celeb after firefighters extracted him from a giant vagina in the southwestern German city of Tübingen. According to Erick Guzman, who kindly posted snaps of the incident on Imgur, his chum decided it was a bright idea to get down and dirty with Peruvian artist …

COMMENTS

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  1. g e
    Facepalm

    I bet he felt a massive twat

    And so forth

    1. NoneSuch

      Isn't a massive slap until he cries traditional (and deserved)?

    2. BillG

      Re: I bet he felt a massive twat

      What a big pussy.

    3. larokus

      Re: I bet he felt a massive twat

      His greatest folly

      Not going balls to the wall

  2. Slartybardfast

    What a cunning stunt!

    1. Jango

      Spoonerism ....

      ... was it implied? I'm not so smart

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now he knows...

    ...what it feels like to be a right dick

  4. Mintyboy
    Paris Hilton

    "the delivery method is not noted" - Lots of Lube I guess

    Paris for the Obvious

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Episiotomy?

    2. cortland

      Chicxulub

      http://www.talkrational.org/showpost.php?s=aca42ed5af9ec9c7ca1b4bbfb09541c6&p=647691&postcount=20

      However, I've heard it's said Chicks-who-lube. Ahem.

  5. Steve Evans

    Good to see students haven't changed...

    And the powers that be really do not have a clue when deciding where to place these things given the nature of students!

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Good to see students haven't changed...

      It as hard for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven as for a student to squeeze through that thing.

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        Re: Good to see students haven't changed...

        it was only a half hearted attempt as it seems his legs got stuck, not his head or an arm (or cock, that would have been impressive).

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Good to see students haven't changed...

          Yeah, it did seem he had trouble getting his leg over.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Good to see students haven't changed...

        It as hard for a rich man to enter the gates

        I have no idea what Gates his preferences are..

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Good to see students haven't changed...

          "I have no idea what Gate's preferences are.."

          I think he likes to f*** everyone in the arse.

  6. M7S
    Coat

    I see the Germans responded by sending a snatch squad

    (sorry)

  7. Robert E A Harvey

    err

    Are we going to get a Playmobil reconstruction?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: err

      Given that humiliating photographic evidence is included, do we really need one?

      1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        Re: err

        Of COURSE we need one! It isn't REAL otherwise, as any El Reg fule know

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: err

        Given that humiliating photographic evidence is included, do we really need one?

        Pics or it didn't .. oh, wait.

      3. Charles Manning

        Re: err

        " photographic evidence "

        You can fake photos with Photoshop etc.

        You can't fake Playmobil!

    2. ElReg!comments!Pierre Silver badge

      Re: err

      > Aer we going to get a Playmobil reconstruction?

      There's a problem with that: how are you going to find a scaled-down representation of the structure?

      Oh, wait...

      1. SoaG

        Re: scaled-down representation of the structure

        Didn't US Airways already do that recently?

  8. Hardcastle the ancient

    That's very informative

    I havn't "known" any German Ladies, but it appears that I would have a lot to re-learn if I did.

  9. Montreal Sean

    Always practice safe sex.

    You never know what you might cathch.

    1. Montreal Sean

      Re: Always practice safe sex.

      Balls. *cathch/catch

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Always practice safe sex.

        I jutht thought you were couthin Igor

        Yeth, marthter, I'll get my coat marthter

  10. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
    Coat

    Must be my mind

    but when I read the headline I assumed that:

    a) he was drunk

    b) it wasn't his leg that had got stuck.

    1. ian 22

      Re: Must be my mind

      He wanted to get his end off, but he chose the wrong end by the looks of things.

  11. Graham Dawson

    This is going to birth more copycats than any of you can conceive.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If the firefighters had failed to free him...

    ...would it have been a cock up.

    1. Euripides Pants Silver badge

      Re: If the firefighters had failed to free him...

      ...then he would have been fucked!

  13. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge
    Trollface

    I would suggest

    "Reports suggest that no less than five emergency vehicles and 22 highly unamused firefighters rushed to assist the "really embarrassed" student, although the delivery method is not noted."

    They were very amused and will dine out on this.

    1. theModge

      Re: I would suggest

      I'd suggest the 4 of them it who turned up first found it so funny they called 18 of their mates...

  14. Sir Barry

    Does he feel born again?

    Looking for a womb with a view?

    After his pics are posted all over the interwebs does he feel like a real ****?

  15. frank ly
    Coat

    It's a boy!

    coat: yes

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swot guide for Tubingen uni finals:

    Materials 101: silicone is going to work a better than sandstone for what class of applications? Why?

  17. Frankee Llonnygog

    This will be good practice for

    evacuating the similarly genitalled stadium

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sign out front

    I believe the sculpture is labelled: "Feel the biggest #### in the world"

  19. Rob

    Depending on how much of a geek the student is...

    ... this could be the nearest he'll ever get to one.

  20. Lamont Cranston

    Looks like an accident waiting to happen.

    They should plug it up with something.

  21. TRT Silver badge

    I'm sure he'll end up in court over this one.

    He'll get 6 months hard labia.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm sure he'll end up in court over this one.

      One that's actually witty. Well done.

    2. Michael Thibault

      Re: I'm sure he'll end up in court over this one.

      Upvoted that, in spite of it being a groaner.

    3. Joefish

      Re: I'm sure he'll end up in court over this one.

      Would that be a miscarriage of justice?

  22. Rich 11 Silver badge

    "Forceps!"

  23. thomas k.
    Facepalm

    What puzzles me ...

    is why a university would feel the need to display a giant vagina in full public view on its campus in the first place.

    Is it a medical university? If so, is the sculpture anatomically correct enough to serve as a teaching tool (which might thus explain it's presence)?

    What do female students think of this giant twat? Is there also a giant penis gracing the campus, in the interest of even-handedness (so to speak)?

    I'm sure, being 'public art', it cost a pretty penny, too.

    Sorry for the rant but - Hey! You, kids! Get that thing off my lawn!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      It's a university. They do that sort of thing there.

      It's 197x. The photocopier repair van exits our college access road and passes in front. It stops. The passenger gets out, walks across the grass, reads the plaque, shouts back "It's Henry Moore's reclining woman in three parts", and returns to the van, which continues on its way.

      My point? The guys in the photocopier van seemed to have more of a grip on the concept of art than you do. (And probably more of a sense of humour, though we can't be sure.)

      Finally - ever been to Avebury? Have you worked out what those stones represent?

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        Re: What puzzles me ...

        I remember looking around York university in the 80s. It was a concrete dive, something like this would have taken the edge off it.

      2. dogged

        Re: What puzzles me ...

        Oh, you triggered my ex-farmworker from Wiltshire -

        They represent about a day's work when you have to mow the bloody field.

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: What puzzles me ...

          They represent about a day's work when you have to mow the bloody field.

          Isn't that what sheep were invented for?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What puzzles me ...

          There are tall pointy ones and vaguely trapezoid ones standing on one corner. I imagine the people who put them there used sheep rather than mowers, but I also imagine that their interests in human anatomy were pretty similar to what they are today.

      3. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re Avebury

        Well, it seems we haven't evolved that much since the stone age. The piece of art may be a bit more refined and while back then it was young women rubbing their loin against menhirs, nowadays is 'merkin students trying to pass through giant vaginas.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What puzzles me ...

        Henry Moore's "reclining woman in three parts"?!

        Still, I guess that after her partner made a hash of the "sawing a woman in half" trick not once but twice, she's quite entitled to lie back and take things easy for a while...

    2. TRT Silver badge

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      There's a bit of history to this you know. In the typing pool of the Bundeskanzleramt many years ago, they didn't spot that one of the typewriters had a broken 'l' key but by the time the mistake was spotted it was far too late, and you know German officialdom... they had their orders. The chancellor had ordered "an extensive programme of purchasing works of public art".

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      > is why a university would feel the need to display a giant vagina in full public view on its campus in the first place.

      It was commissioned to commemorate the university awarding Jeremy Clarkson an honorary degree.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What puzzles me ...

        It's actually a giant set of labia, but I couldn't be bothered to correct the original poster. I'm surprised he made the mistake as I understand that there is a great deal of information on the Internet about female anatomy.

        It's a bit rude likening either to Jeremy Clarkson, though. I know which I prefer to be standing next to.

    4. Thorsten
      Pint

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      It's in front of the university's microbiology and virology institute (go figure!). It cost 120k€, and it's supposed to symbolise the "gate to the world" (although the title is "chacàn", which means something different).

      As for 22 firefighters being there: apparently the emergency call went "there's a guy trapped in a stone vagina". I guess that none of the firefighters on duty then wanted to stay behind at the station. The only one unhappy was Tübingen's mayor, who, thinking of the costs, asked in an interview whether it was really necessary that all 22 had to be present.

      Anyway, cue lots of comments in the German press about the second speleologist that had to be rescued from a cave within a week...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What puzzles me ...

        > The only one unhappy was Tübingen's mayor, who, thinking of the costs, asked in an interview whether it was really necessary that all 22 had to be present.

        Isn't the fire brigade in Tübingen a paid service?

        1. Thorsten

          Re: What puzzles me ...

          > Isn't the fire brigade in Tübingen a paid service?

          No, it's a volunteer fire department. The town will pay for the operational costs as well as loss of wages for the volunteers. They may be able to charge the exchange student, though.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: What puzzles me ...

            > No, it's a volunteer fire department.

            Ok, thanks. I thought Germany followed the Austrian system on this.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sorry for the rant...

      Don't apologize, no one respects that around here

    6. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      I guess it's some kind of homage to ancient pagan cultures - there was lots of genital worship along with the blood sacrifices back in the day.

    7. Volker Hett

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      It's in germany, different culture and all of that. A sculpture of a gun is a problem here.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What puzzles me ...

      > is why a university would feel the need to display a giant vagina in full public view on its campus in the first place.

      Are you for real, or just a flashback from old Victorian days?

  24. Michael Hawkes

    Perhaps he wanted to engage in some up-close

    examination, not knowing that he must use the

    necessary equipment. After all, he's a student,

    isn't he? Having to be extracted is really quite

    sad.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Lubricant

      See what happens when you forget to apply the correct lubricant?

  25. Winkypop Silver badge

    What a.......

    Cnut

  26. TitterYeNot
    Coat

    Help! My inner six-year-old is now loose in my head...

    Well, this is cliterally what will happen if you start *fannying around in a pubic place, though at least he didn't pussyfoot around, and he must have beavered away very hard to get into that position.

    I know, that wasn't cunny at all, I'm going...

    *Note to Septics - never tell a visiting Brit that it's OK to pat someone else's fanny in public...

  27. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Every facet of this story had me asking "In the name of god, why?"

    Kudos, Register.

  28. Arachnoid
    Headmaster

    Well I can see this becoming

    A student fad for rag week where red will be a popular colour to wear

    [Teacher because they always disapprove]

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In which..

    A US tourist learns about man-traps, and thanks anti-abortionists. He was delivered safely rather than being twatted by GSG-9, which could have been a risk as the image appears to show a full Brazilian.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There's one born every minute...

    see above

  31. Herby Silver badge

    Reminds me of the "Cat stuck in a tree" call.

    You see, after you call firemen about the "cat stuck in a tree" they reply: "Have you EVER seen a dead cat in a tree". Of course the answer is NO, so there is no need for the firemen to "rescue" the stuck cat.

    I feel the same applies here as well. If he got into the mess, surely he can get out!" (probably in more ways than one!).

    As for other comments, some pretty good ones. Lots of upvotes.

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      FAIL

      Re: Reminds me of the "Cat stuck in a tree" call.

      Nah, but I've seen plenty on the ground, under trees.

      // squirrels under telephone wires as well

  32. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Coat

    So I guess that sculpture...

    Is "the ultimate cock-block"?

    (Sorry. I'll leave now...)

  33. Charles Manning

    The obvious reason...

    Who had ever heard of imgur.com before this?

    Post a few pics of a twat in a twat and... instant publicity.

    1. Old Handle

      Re: The obvious reason...

      Why hasn't? It's just another free image host, but it was quite popular already.

  34. Haku

    Is that Pillowpants the pussy troll?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YaX2jLc_ko (Clerks 2, it's rude)

  35. Mitoo Bobsworth
    Coat

    Excuse time

    "I'm studying Gynecology"

    "This is my impression of a tampon."

    etc... this guy needs an out - oh, sorry

  36. Qu Dawei

    Next stop

    I've heard that the next stop on this exchange student's visits around Europe is to the Large Hardon Collider. I hope he doesn't get shafted there (unless he would like to be).

  37. Crisp Silver badge
    Coat

    It's a trap!

    /Admiral Ackbar

  38. jorge666

    Please change the title to include "trapped American student"

    This can only happen to American student. Please change the title accordingly.

  39. Craig 2

    Why wasn't the tagline "Dick gets stuck in vagina"?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      On the grounds of good taste. We are a family publication, after all.

      1. Hans 1 Silver badge

        >We are a family publication, after all.

        By looks of it, yes ... 9 in 10 comments on this article are from 10 year olds ...

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did they tie a blue string round his neck to pull him out with?

  41. ForthIsNotDead
    Facepalm

    Hmmm...

    Looking at the second photo, I note a distinct lack of a clitoris, thus confirming the oft held belief among women that men really don't know where to find it!

  42. Sir Crispalot

    Apparently he was in a bit of a flap when they rescued him ...

  43. Nick Woodruffe

    I guess in the UK we would call that kind of monument "petrified beef curtains"

  44. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    (cough)virgin!!!(cough)

    "Peruvian artist Fernando de la Jara's stone representation of female naughty bits"

    Has Fernando de la Jara ever actually *seen* any woman's "naughty bits"?

  45. PeterM42
    Facepalm

    I'm surprised....

    ...that no-one checked he was wearing suitable protection.

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