back to article Game of Thrones scribe George R R Martin will KILL YOU for US$20K

Game of Thrones author George R R Martin is running a crowdfunding campaign in which he promises to kill you for US$20,000. The writer has launched the campaign to support a wolf sanctuary near his home in Santa Fe. As is the case with most crowdfunding capers, this campaign offers rewards of increasing value for …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At the rate he's writing these things there is more chance of him pegging it first than anyone who hands over $20k

    1. LarsG

      If you name was John Smith there'd be a lot of people claiming the accolade that the character was named after them. It would only be useful if you had an 'unusual name'.

      1. Bill B

        I would pay him $20,0000 if only he would finish the b****y books. I honestly think he lost the plot about book 4 (or else became too important to listen to editor's advice)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If I could afford it, I'd stump up the $20K, using the name "Tony Blair."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      After Newark

      I understand that the remaining members of the Lib Dems (all seven of them) are seeing if they can get the 20K to have "Nick Clegg" added as the character's name.

  3. frank ly


    Are there any guarantees that you won't be stabbed, face down in the dirt after trying to rob an old beggarwoman? It could get nasty in a nasty way. I'd need assurances of a brave and noble death after a very hot sex scene and a big dinner. I'd also need $20K to spare .... ah well.

    1. Crisp Silver badge

      Re: Conditions?

      You'd probably want to stipulate that you died in a heroic way as well. Such as rescuing baskets of kittens and babies from a burning orphanage. (You don't die in the fire, but tragically after rescuing the last singed kitten.)

  4. Aggrajag

    My name is so "plain and boring" I can't see how he could possibly fit it into his world. Thankfully for him I don't have the $20k.

    1. Phil W

      Yeah but in your case, George wouldn't kill you until you'd already tried to kill him in a chronologically misplaced revenge bid.

      1. Kane Silver badge

        @Phil W

        "Yeah but in your case, George wouldn't kill you until you'd already tried to kill him in a chronologically misplaced revenge bid."

        Well played, have an upvote.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You know nothing, Jon Snow.

  5. unitron

    At first I thought...

    ...perhaps it was an offer to reveal to the terminally ill how GoT turns out (at least in the books), and then make sure you don't get to spoil it for anyone else prior to your sudden and assisted demise.

    I mean there's got to be people out there who were fairly young and healthy when they started reading the series almost two decades ago who have since taken a turn for the worse and are thinking "Hurry up, George, I'm not going to last forever", not to mention that Martin's no spring chicken himself these days, so I'm stuck hoping that he lasts long enough to churn out books 6 and 7 and that I'm around long enough for the paperback release of both (gotta complete the set).

    1. fishman

      Re: At first I thought...

      <<<so I'm stuck hoping that he lasts long enough to churn out books 6 and 7 and that I'm around long enough for the paperback release of both (gotta complete the set).>>>

      He has to live even longer - Now Martin is talking about a total of 8 books for the series.

  6. auburnman

    Not that I'm against raising money for charity, but surely there's a way of doing that with less chance for backfiring? I can't see the fans being happy if Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova or someone like him wins it.

    If he had the balls he should offer a bounty that allows you to slap him in the face as revenge for your favourite character :)

  7. Benchops

    "You win and you die"

    is not exluded by "You win or you die."

    However "You win xor you die" is not so snappy.

  8. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    So you pay a fortune to enjoy the same fate as nearly every single character in his books? At the rate he's killing them off, there won't be anyone left to kill the winner.

  10. Cliff

    Mild Anarchy

    Here's $20k my name is Scrotie McBoogerballs

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mild Anarchy

      That's funny, Cliff...

  11. batfink Silver badge

    Focus, George, focus!

    George! Stop ****ing about with fundraising for saving furry animals and get writing. None of us are getting any younger, notably you, and we all know what happened to your mate Robert Jordan. The TV Series is about to overtake you and they'll start to make it up themselves if you don't keep up, and that's going to screw your book sales. So, less faffing about and more concentration on writing please.

    1. Michael Hoffmann

      Re: Focus, George, focus!

      Thank you and a spiritual thousand upvotes for mentioning Robert Jordan!

      I have friends and acquaintances telling me I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face for refusing to read the books and watching the TV series, but back then I made a vow that I will never go through the Wheel Of Time experience again.

      It seems Martin fans are already going through the same "milking it for every typed word" stage and looking at the author, he is a walking cardio-vascular disaster waiting to happen. I wouldn't wish the same end on any fan: the series being finished by a second rate hack (sorry, Sanderson fans, that's my opinion). It may be even worse: the series is finished "made for TV" by studio committee!

    2. stu 4


      have you been watching season 4 ?

      they are already making it up !

  12. Tom 38 Silver badge

    1) Find $20k

    2) Change name to "Ned Stark"

    3) ....

    4) PROFIT?

    1. Lamont Cranston

      Thanks for the $20k,

      enjoy your copy of Book 1.

  13. VeganVegan

    Just in case there is one commentard who hasn't hear this joke

    Q: Why doesn't George RR Martin use Twitter?

    A: He'd already killed off all 140 characters.

  14. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    Lord Marketing Hack, congratulations on your wedding!!

    "HAH!! Crossbow bolt to the crotch!!"

  15. S 11



  16. stanimir

    There are only two hard things in Computer Science:

    cache invalidation and naming things.

    In this very case the winner is paying $20k to solve part of the problem.

  17. Stevie Silver badge


    He'll put you in a book with a cast of thousands? Big furry deal.

    Then he'll kill you off? Will anyone notice your death amongst the fifty odd PoV character that will have met their end by then?

    It would be funny if someone called Ned Stark won the prize though.

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