back to article Bondi shark alert systems beams warning to nobody on Google Plus

An Australian company called Shark Mitigation Systems has come up with something interesting: a sonar-equipped buoy that can spot sharks and then beam information about their presence to lifeguards over Optus' mobile telephony network. The idea is that the buoys will be tethered off Australia beaches, for two purposes. The …

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  1. Don Jefe

    SMS EMERGENCY UPDATE

    Shark Mitigation Systems, in partnership with Google Plus and Optus want you to know that shark has been detected within 10m of your present location. Google Plus indicates you have zero (0) people from your Circles within shouting distance. SMS has sent a message to everyone in your Google Plus Circles indicating your current location and that you will shortly be attacked by a shark. You will receive a 15% discount on emergency medical services if someone from your Circles informs [Hospital] of your imminent arrival.

    This message was delivered to you by Optus Telecom and will not be calculated in your message or data allowances. Thank you for being eaten.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: SMS EMERGENCY UPDATE

      I thought Google Plus was just the login method for You Tube that I refused to sign up for.

      Sounds like Google Plus is to Facebook what Google Apps is to Office Online.....A poor copy.

      1. Andrew Punch

        Re: SMS EMERGENCY UPDATE

        > ...Google Apps is to Office Online.....A poor copy.

        Google Apps came first and kicks arse

    2. Slap

      Re: SMS EMERGENCY UPDATE

      I just spat beer onto my iPad upon reading that

      Thank you very much, Don. I couldn't give a toss about the iPad, but I will be expecting recompense for the wasted beer.

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Coat

    What?

    Not Facebook? They're missing all those "likes".

    1. big_D Silver badge

      Re: What?

      Here, have a like. Er, I mean an upvote.

    2. Blofeld's Cat

      Re: What?

      >beep<

      Quist has updated his status to: "being eaten by a shark"

      >beep<

      Emilio Largo has updated his status to: "day just got better"

  3. Andrew Punch

    Small Number of People Attacked By Sharks

    And a small number of people use Google Plus. A perfect match perhaps?

  4. LaeMing Silver badge
    Alert

    But...

    ...do the sharks use Google Plus???

    Duh Du Daaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    ....

    Actually, I guess this means they technically do. So Google Plus gets more users from this.

    Just be careful who you add to your inner circle!

  5. treboR

    IT IS WET

    YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY A SHARK

    1. the spectacularly refined chap

      Re: IT IS WET

      It's like that sponsorship message on Dave.

      "In a fight between character and a shark, character always wins... unless it's underwater."

  6. Sebastian A

    They really should develop a buoy to warn the sharks, since an encounter with a human is far more often fatal for them than vice versa.

  7. frank ly Silver badge

    Am I correct in assuming ...

    ... that they use an SMS to send the warning? I hope so.

  8. anatak

    laser discriminating ?

    Can these buoys detect lasers mounted on the sharks ?

  9. Mage Silver badge

    Social Medjya

    Why use these at all?

    What is wrong with a web site that has RSS, SMS or Email. Or all three?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How do they measure Google+ usage?

    As clearly the ability to have private circles means they can't measure it..

    #fail

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: How do they measure Google+ usage?

      It's fairly late in the game for some to still not understand 'private' means private to the users and proles. It does not mean private to the service provider, their partners and advertising customers.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How do they measure Google+ usage?

        Untrue in this case, as it happens, but I do sympathise with your cynicism; knowing who to trust is a hard problem.

  11. Scroticus Canis
    Facepalm

    "technology to help prevent drowning would save more lives"

    It's already available but water wings probably don't seem cool to the beach going demographic of 14-29 year olds.

    So now people in Oz are swimming with their smart phones? At last a use for that iOS update that made your iPhone water proof. Yeay!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm wondering if

    sharkshit = bullshit

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