back to article Chinese iWatchers: Apple's WRISTPUTERS ALREADY in production

Production of the semi-mythical iWatch has already begun, mysterious Chinese production sources have claimed. According to a report in the China Times (in Mandarin), factories have already begun churning out the first models of Apple's wearable computer. Factories are expected to make between two and three million iWatches …

COMMENTS

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  1. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Off the cuff

    I wonder if Apple will bring out a range of attire with especially shortened sleeves, so that everyone will be able to see that you have an iWatch?

    What's the point in having Apple gear, if nobody else knows that you have it?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Off the cuff

      Do you mean t-shirts?

      1. VinceH Silver badge

        Re: Off the cuff

        No, t-shirts already exist and weren't invented by Apple, so they'll have to come up with something completely new (which just happens to already exist in the form of t-shirts) and claim to have invented it.

        1. Peter 48

          Re: Off the cuff

          well that hasn't stopped Apple with the majority of their patent lawsuits, so why should they change now?

        2. Random Coolzip

          Re: Off the cuff

          At last -- the real reason Steve Jobs wore those shirts with the 3/4-length sleeves!

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Coat

          Re: Off the cuff

          ***cough*** iT-Shirts ***cough***

          OK, leaving already...

  2. Big_Ted
    Devil

    You will need

    A new set of earphones with an extra long lead to go up your sleeve, across your body and up to your ear.

    These will also have a patented Apple sytem called an iRubberband to secure it to your arm to prevent dangly bits that could catch on non iThings.

    The cable will also be stretchy to accomodate arm movement and bending. Cost of earphones will be 50% of the cast of the iWatch, ie £300 for the iWatch and £150 for the earphones.

    1. jai

      Re: You will need

      you know they invented a thing called Bluetooth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bluetooth) a few years ago, you get it in loads of things, including earphones. Best thing about it, it would have saved you having to type all those words if you'd known about it beforehand.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Re: You will need

        It's called humour.

        1. ukgnome Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: You will need

          no, I am pretty sure those magic headphones that he describes are called bluetooth

        2. Tom 38 Silver badge

          Re: You will need

          It's called humour.

          Allegedly

      2. Big_Ted

        Re: You will need

        Oh dear, I'm shaking my head....

        1 is a joke

        2 Bluetooth will eat the "Small" battery this thing will be able to hold in a very short time if its more than an interface for your ithingy.

        3 I can't see any use for one unless it is a fully functioning device after all by the time I look at it I couldhave looked at my phone or whatever.

        1. jai

          Re: You will need

          @Big_Ted

          2 Bluetooth will eat the "Small" battery this thing will be able to hold in a very short time if its more than an interface for your ithingy.

          really? the batteries in my bt earphones (considerably smaller and probably cheaper than the battery apple would put inside an iDevice for the wrist) last 3 days easy.

          @JDK

          Can you get BT earphones rather than headphones, with sensible battery life?

          yes, mine last at least 3 days, could be longer but i'm in the routine of charging them on wednesdays and over the weekend. which isn't a problem as i'm already in the routing of charging my phone every night.

          Also even if you're right, BT earphones would be the reason they cost £150 so he's half right.

          No, bt earphones for £150 is so 2008! you could have just-f'ing-amazon'd-it to check your prices before you typed, but i've done it for you:

          http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bleutooth%20earphones

          On just the first page, showing 16 results, there are 9 items that i would consider "earphones" and of those, only two cost over £35.

          Adding up the number of people who left reviews (good or bad) comes to 635 people. Even if you take the unlikely view that I'm the only person who bought a pair and didn't leave a review, that's still quite a lot of people for a product that "nobody wants" as you put it.

          1. JDX Gold badge

            Re: You will need

            Well I'll happily stand corrected that such things exist and are affordable. However given that I've NEVER seen anyone use wireless earphones, while I have seen wireless headphones quite frequently - though still a tiny minority - I stand by my other point.

            Taking an absolute number of users proves nothing. It's a tiny, tiny niche of the earphone market of interest to a very specific group of people.

            Now that being said, one thing Apple are good at is making people decide that suddenly a pre-existing, barely used technology is desirable to the point we have the silly jokes about Apple "inventing" things. So given that BT earphones actually do exist I will also happily change my position on an iWatch to "cautious interest".

            As a side question - I'd love BT earphones which were two separate parts without a connecting wire, so you literally just plug in each ear. Do they exist?

      3. JDX Gold badge

        Re: You will need

        Can you get BT earphones rather than headphones, with sensible battery life? They certainly haven't caught on which suggests nobody wants them.

        Also even if you're right, BT earphones would be the reason they cost £150 so he's half right.

      4. PeterM42
        Joke

        Re: You will need

        If Apple had invented Bluetooth, surely it would have been called iTooth (try saying it out loud)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How many millions?

    Commenting on rumors that have raging for a long time now its a bit pointless but, nonetheless, considering the fiasco that was the 5c, I doubt that Apple would put in production a new product in a number of that magnitude. At least not after a good blitz of marketing campaign.

    1. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: How many millions?

      12.8 millions. Estimated sales of the very popular and lucrative 'failed' iPhone 5c last Q.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How many millions?

        Hardly a fail - just went to show more people prefer the high end model. Still see plenty of 5Cs being sold.

        1. JDX Gold badge

          Re: How many millions?

          Yeah, I start to see more and more of these. It's just nobody was in a rush to go out and buy a 5c like they were a 5s - but when coming to upgrade people ARE attracted by the cheaper option.

  4. Frankee Llonnygog

    iWTF?

    Where F = Why. I don't wear a watch. I have phone. I am reasonably certain that my heart is beating. I would rather not be beeped with ALERT: YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL, THAT'S WHY YOUR PHONE IS RINGING or ALERT: YOUR HEART HAS STOPPED, YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE. I don't want to run a wire up my sleeve to earphones, or wear Bluetooth phones like a taxi-driver. I want to watch foreign movies on a screen large enough to read subtitles on. I'm happy to look at my phone/PC/etc to see if I have emails - I don't want a Pavlovian ping breaking my concentration every time the boss mails her latest inanity. I mean, really, why?

    1. Mike Bell

      iYouHaveNoIdeaWhatItIsYet

      You might want to ask such questions AFTER its functionality has been announced.

      If it could monitor my blood glucose levels, buzz me when my boss is within 100m, unlock my car, wave me through airport check-in, project a hologram of Princess Leia et fucking cetera, I'd probably buy one. As it is, it's a pointless exercise moaning about the capabilities of something that doesn't exist yet.

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
        Alert

        Re: iYouHaveNoIdeaWhatItIsYet

        Despite your Bronze status, you really don't know the Apple Haters that lurk in this forum very well.

        any mention of apple and they emerge from their Caves/Basements and strike rapidly.

        Later on they return to sink their fangs into anyone who uses even a modicum of common sense and downvotes them into Crapple hell.

        A little matter of not knowing even 25% or what might or might not be in a possibly imaginary device is of no consequence to them.

        1. dogged

          Re: iYouHaveNoIdeaWhatItIsYet

          A really good implementation of a wrist-borne interface might be the only thing that would convince me to Apple products, assuming they integrated nicely.

          And didn't need the foul malware that is iTunes.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: iWTF?

      Where F = Why ?

      Think you mean "Where W = Why", because AFAIK "Why" doesn't start with an F.

      1. Geoff Campbell
        Happy

        Re: iWTF?

        I think Sir meant to say:

        "There's no F in Why".

        Honestly, can no-one get a simple punchline right these days?

        GJC

      2. Frankee Llonnygog

        Re: "Why" doesn't start with an F.

        I have a lisp.

    3. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: iWTF?

      I wear a watch. I can see the time at a glance, without having to fumble in a pocket for my phone. With a twist of the bezel, I can set a reminder of a time (for cooking times, parking tickets etc) in one natural movement.... to accomplish the same on a phone takes a bit of fumbling, prodding, stroking, and returning it to my pocket.

      There are a lot of functions that could be incorporated into a watch without it looking ugly or 'geek-chic' like a Pebble.

      Even a single RGB LED unit can tell you whether an incoming call is coming from a someone you want to talk to or not, for example.

      Being able to silence a phone by a double tap to your wrist would be desirable.

      Being able to locate a phone in a similar way would be useful.

      If you are only imagining a smartwatch as being like a mini phone on your wrist (a la Samsung Gear), then I can't blame you for being indifferent to the idea. However, if you break down the interactions you have with technology and perform a time-and-motion analysis, you might find that there is room for improvement.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And

    pilfered versions have already made their way to Samsung where their lawyers are taking a great interest in them.

    Other 'nicked' devices are frantically being torn apart and copied all over China/Korea/Taiwan.

  6. Barracoder
    FAIL

    Sure....

    Because we need something else to charge every 7 hours....

    1. Big_Ted
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Sure....

      Unless they use kenetic energy to charge.

      You know the more you shake your wrist the more you charge it..........

      Oh dear......

    2. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Sure....

      What have you got that only lasts 7 hours on a full charge, other than an iPhone running a video loop?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sure....

      I charge my Pebble every three or so days.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: Sure....

        >Because we need something else to charge every 7 hours....

        The Casio G-Shock BLE connected wristwatch has an estimated battery life of two years, based on being connected to a phone for 12 hours a day. Compared to the ten year battery life of a normal G-Shock watch it is on the low side, but still...

        You have to trade features against battery life.

  7. Breen Whitman

    This device will be handy for Apple owners to wear. Given they tend to have fairly weak limp wrists, this should help them function better in life by providing extra support.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Oh well. Would you tell that to the scaffolders who drink in your local?

      No, I didn't think so.

  8. Chris G Silver badge

    iShirt

    Perhaps a wearable recharging accessory such as an iShirt with flexible PV panels could integrate with the iWatch, it could even have a clear section of sleeve to allow the iWatch to see the light of day.

    Kinetic systems would work but if they are built into the watch would make viewing the tiny screen very difficult while one is furiously shaking the wrist!

    awhole range of iFashion could be introduced with Pv/kinetic charging to accessorize with this: iHat, iJacket,iPants.........

    I also remember reading a couple of years ago of a patent for shoes with piezo electric heels intended for recharging smart or i things.

  9. JustNiz

    It looks hideously chunky.

    What would this do that my phone doesn't already do better?

    1. Don Jefe

      I think the broad acceptance of 'clunky' wristwatches is what Apple has been waiting on to release their watch. Once the success symbol of misguided Turks and middle managers, the clunky 'cat head' size shitty wristwatch has now become accepted anywhere annoying people congregate. One more gigantic watch among many others is no problem.

      I guess the biggest problem is that it won't be noticed. They should make it do something badass, like launch frisbees or clay pigeons. New clay pigeons are non toxic and completely biodegradable you know.

  10. poopypants

    More consumer guff that is surplus to requirements

    I certainly won't be watching for it.

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: More consumer guff that is surplus to requirements

      Yeah. I hear you. Beds were so much nicer when they were stuffed full of straw and every ear of corn you ate was one less sock you had to wash.

  11. DougS Silver badge

    No way is that a real picture of one

    It is obviously an artist's concept, by an artist of has no concept of what one might look like other than "pretty much the same as a Galaxy Gear".

    Apple would never make anything that thick, and they know if they did no one would want one.

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