A return to El Reg headline excellence.
Cheered me up just as Beer O'clock approaches.
A 19-year-old Tennessee girl cuffed earlier this week for allegedly driving with a suspended licence is in a spot more bother – after jail officers reportedly discovered a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina. Dallas Archer's police mugshot Pretty in pink: Dallas Archer's police mugshot Dallas Archer was pulled over in …
"I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking "did he fire six shots or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow you head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky? Well, do you punk?"
"No idea, I'm a bloke. But I imagine trying to get a spiky hair brush, can of hair spray, mirror for doing eyes, etc, up there would be a tad uncomfortable!"
I'm sorry to say but Rule 34* has covered....pretty much all of those.
Er, so I'm told.
*do NOT google 'rule 34' from work. Ever. Unless you like being sacked.
But why would it go off?
The NAA .22 Long Rifle is the most popular Mini-Revolver ever produced. With the many current accessories, it is versatile for many applications and is the standard by which other Mini-Revolvers are judged.
Yes, I see.
As with every NAA Mini-Revolver, the hammer need not rest on an empty chamber. Using the original half-way notch cylinder, the hammer may rest safely and securely without chance of accidental discharge.
So that's ok. then.
On the other hand, some unfriendly molecules may leak onto the mucuous membrane.
Still, how DID she come up with that idea? Women these days...
It reminds me of a line from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
(Bernadette says to Shirley)
Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon, and blow your box apart? Because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!
I don't know what's worse, that I can remember the line or that I have watched the film...!
Maybe someone told he she had to take some 'protection' with her so she didn't get up the duff.
Re. Russian Roulette.
In Soviet Russia, tampons apparently make passable bullet wound pluggers. Seriously!
They are basically sterile and in an emergency can save lives.
At least long enough to get to hospital, but they do act as effective plugs for massive blood loss and can possibly prevent air getting into the chest cavity as well (citation needed)...
"Tampons were standard issue for bush patrol in the RLI (Rhodesian Light Infantry) back in the day. Normally need two for entry & exit holes."
A tampon for the small entry wound, perhaps, but you'd need a large pad for the exit wound. Or a proper dressing. Or two. Or even three. Depends on what you were shot with and where.
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