back to article Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Lego has changed, according to a Polish priest, who has warned that newer sets of the popular Danish toy are actually tools of Satan that can destroy children's souls. Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre The sweet yellow bricks of yesteryear are no more, apparently, now that Lego has started producing series of minifigs like …

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  1. raving angry loony

    I'm guessing the only reasons he's on about it is that the fucker stepped on one while going to the loo in the middle of night. In those cases, yeah, Lego is the work the devil. Or, in the contest of "small things giving much pain", at least Australian.

    1. seven of five

      Aren´t Monster Fighters discontinued since two years?

      I´ll have to check the brickipedia, can´t remember, never was much into them.

      I´m busy building spaceships, spaceships, SPACESHIPS!

      Greetings

      Benny

    2. Charles Manning

      "stepped on one while going to the loo"

      Due to his pledge of chastity he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house.

      1. Jedit
        Trollface

        "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

        "... he should surely be in a reasonably Lego-free house"

        That, and shouldn't altar boys be old enough to have outgrown Legos?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: old enough to have outgrown Lego

          You are never to old to play with Lego.

          It is important to grow up, but you shouldn't let that ruin your life.

        2. defiler Silver badge

          Re: "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

          When you've outgrown Lego, you've outgrown life.

          1. Michael Habel Silver badge

            Re: "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

            When you've outgrown Lego, you've outgrown life.

            Reminds me of the line: "When you are tired of Ursa Minor Beta you are tired of life." the suicide rate quadrupled overnight.

      2. Adze

        Re; "Due to his pledge of chastity..."

        Surely there's a one word explanation... choirboys.

      3. andy k O'Croydon
        Coat

        Pledge of chastity, choirboys...

        ...explains how he's still getting his Lego-ver.

      4. This post has been deleted by its author

      5. raving angry loony

        Sir, one does not need children to purchase Lego!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Wonder what he makes of Good Cop Bad Cop?

      Still he may have a point, my son keeps wanting to get the bad guys rather than the good guys.

      1. wowfood

        Your son has good taste. I always root for the bad guy, and I'm waiting for a game where I get to play the villain rather than the hero. I don't wanna be a pokémon master, I want to take over the world darn it.

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

          Didn't KotOR allow you to play the baddies?

          1. Michael Habel Silver badge

            Didn't KotOR allow you to play the baddies?

            No not unless they changed it after the first Game. Having played the first Game you'd be given Story driven choices that either pushed you to be a super white Jedi, or fall back on being very dark Sith Lord that manages to rule the entire Galaxy again....

        2. Parax

          re: waiting for a game where I get to play the villain

          Did you miss Evil Genius?

    4. Mage Silver badge

      In the dark, bare feet

      At least he isn't in UK. Is the UK mains plug the most evil thing to tread on in the dark at home?

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: In the dark, bare feet

        Either that or the edge of a door.

        1. Peter Simpson 1
          Happy

          Re: In the dark, bare feet

          As a teen, I developed my own film. Working in the darkroom is a super way to learn obstacle-avoidance skills which have served me well throughout my life.

          Mostly. The downside is that the extra confidence causes me to move decisively, rather than tentatively, and the few toe/obstacle collisions that do occur are consequently at high speed.

      2. paulll

        Re: In the dark, bare feet

        I was going to say that. Been living in Canada for nearly 10 years and I still shudder at the thought of stepping on UK plugs ...

    5. Jim 59

      Seems like goodies vs baddies to me. May actually improve child's sense of right and wrong.

      Won't do much for their English literature though. That dark character is a mash up of Dracula, Batfiink and darth Vader.

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge

    I guess it's official

    A university study (who the hell pays for this crap) and a Catholic priest are bad-mouthing Lego.

    On the bright side, it wasn't Playmobile or it would be certain that when LOHAN takes off, every country would have an interceptor ready to shoot it down lest it infect the countryside.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: I guess it's official

      After all the shit that catholic priests and nuns have been up to for the last X number of years I think they are probably very highly qualified to judge whether something is evil or not. After all, they have so much experience.

      Whenever I read about all the harm they've done over the years, I really, really, really do hope there is a hell waiting for them.

      Catholic priests & nuns -> (see icon)

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Re: I guess it's official

        Not as much as people who are not Priests and Nuns actually. Humans are the problem.

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

          Re: I guess it's official

          "Humans are the problem." - Can't argue with that.

          However, people in positions of trust, power and influence (especially when they are the supposed proponents of a GOOD force in the world) offer up a greater betrayal than ordinary scumbags do.

          1. John 110

            Re: I guess it's official

            "people in positions of trust, power and influence"

            So, like teachers and scoutmasters then?

        2. Bumpy Cat

          Re: I guess it's official

          @Mage

          When someone's entire raison d'être is that they are a morally superior guide to spirituality and ethics, the excuse "Well, other people rape children too!" doesn't really cut it.

          1. Someone Else Silver badge
            Thumb Up

            @ Bumpy Cat--Re: I guess it's official

            Oh, that I could upvote you more than once!

          2. Mage Silver badge

            Re: I guess it's official

            look at the real statistics, not the newspapers.

            1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

              @Mage

              I'm not quite sure what you're driving at here Mage. For sure there are lots of people out there that do a lot worse than catholic priests and nuns.

              However that doesn't make what some of these evil bastards have done any better.

              Molesting children and systematically covering it up at an instutional level.

              Using children as unpaid slaves, stealing their children and selling them to wealthy Americans.

              That's just the Irish one's that I've heard about - God knows what the rest of the get up to (at least I hope he does).

        3. Michael Habel Silver badge

          Re: I guess it's official

          Not as much as people who are not Priests and Nuns actually. Humans are the problem.

          Adult Humans... With imaginary friends, that are always whispering into their ears, about how wonderful it would be to rid the World of all the Sinners.*

          *Sinners here being anyone that refuses to _think_ like them.... So do any of these cats even use Apple stuff? I'd have thought that _Thinking differently_ would be activity to be shunned by those types?

      2. Moony

        Re: I guess it's official

        I had some trouble parsing your 2nd paragraph. I read it as:

        "Whenever I read about all the ham they've done..."

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: I guess it's official

      "A university study (who the hell pays for this crap) "

      It probably came out of the School of Social "Sciences" or whatever they call it there.

  3. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Where are the values?

    I agree with the priest - all filth and nothing for the soul. Where are the four Horsemen? Where are David and Goliath, where are the female role characters (Delilah)? Why can't the children play with destruction of Sodom and Gonorrhea? Hmmm, there is something not quite right with the last one, but it passed the spell checker, so it must be OK...

    1. seven of five
      Headmaster

      Re: Where are the values?

      Five. It is five horsemen (or rather four and one chariot, granted. Still makes five, though.).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Where are the values?

        Didn't the 5th horseman leave before they got famous?

        1. Proud Father
          Happy

          Re: Where are the values?

          Something to do with artistic disagreements.

          Ronnie Soak is quite happy just delivering dairy products.

          1. Christoph Silver badge

            Re: Where are the values?

            So what does this priest think about My Little Binky?

            1. frank ly Silver badge
              Happy

              @Christoph Re: Where are the values?

              Definitely a 'carrier of Death'; and he does it so well.

            2. Michael Habel Silver badge

              Re: Where are the values?

              So what does this priest think about My Little Binky?

              He probably hates that too. I don't think the Church would have much use for a Sun Goddess!

          2. Elmer Phud Silver badge

            Re: Where are the values?

            "Ronnie Soak is quite happy just delivering dairy products."

            Anywhere and at the same time -- it's all quantum, innit?

            1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: Where are the values? Ronnie Soak

              Love his Yak milk from 600 years ago. Still fresh too

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      Re: Where are the values?

      I think it's disgrace that they have so many girlie LEGO sets now, after all we know women are to blame for ALL the worlds sins, as for the babies that are born evil...well.

    3. Elmer Phud Silver badge

      Re: Where are the values?

      "Why can't the children play with destruction of Sodom and Gonorrhea? "

      IT was fine for a while but as as a family game I'm fed up as I have lost a child but gained an extra salt shaker.

    4. Joefish

      Re: Where are the values?

      Look up something called 'The Brick Testament'... ;-)

      Then your task for the rest of the day is to work out how The Daily Mail connected the author with paedophiles.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      destruction of Sodom and Gonorrhea

      Gonorrhea

      That's what you catch from preists anyhow

    6. Lapun Mankimasta

      Re: Where are the values?

      Where are the four Horsemen?

      Or, in the immortal words of one schoolboy (forever anonymous, thank $DETY from whom all blessing flow), "Where are the four whoresmen?" (He was of the opinion that the reason Cromwell won over King Chuck was that his soldiers were better whoresmen than King Chuck's own, even to eating their meals on whoresback. Now if King Chuck had been named King Liquid Laugh or King Technicolour Yawn instead, he might have won that war ... )

  4. jake Silver badge

    When I were a lad ...

    Lego was a "build it & break it" toy ... Am I the only one who built a floor-to-ceiling castle in the living-room (base roughly 24" square, spire tapered from 6" to as small as possible), tied the middle of the tower to the front door-knob, and laughed my ass off when Dad came home for lunch & destroyed the entire thing?

    Rebuilt it the next day. Dad came in the back door. Lesson learned.

    Me. Age five.

    I still have the blocks. My younger nieces & nephews enjoy playing with my late '50s/early '60s collection.

    1. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Re: When I were a lad ...

      not to tie it to the door?

    2. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: When I were a lad ...

      Not castles, but large spaceships that I would "land" in a Gerry Anderson-esque fashion (sort of belly-flopping, losing large amounts of material as it slid across the floor and into the wall*). I gave myself points if the only intact structure when it came to a halt was where the important members of the crew would sit.

      *All sorts of trouble from dad for the dents and gouges in my bedroom wall!

  5. LaeMing

    I'd have thought,

    the melting point of plastic a little low for hell!

    Meccano, OTOH...

    1. Andrew Newstead

      Re: I'd have thought,

      Ah this is Lego, the toughest substance in the known universe (we've still got bricks from 50 years ago!).

      Wait! Could this be the basis for dark matter?

      1. Crazy Operations Guy

        Re: " toughest substance in the known universe"

        Indeed, a few months ago I helped my parents with their garden and unearthed a Lego from when they were kids (about 45 years). It was even in near-pristine condition, especially compared to the nearly-disintegrated plastic bucket that we also found that was from a mere 15 years ago. Seriously, what the hell are the made of? I think they will still be around even after the heat-death of the universe.

        1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

          Re: " toughest substance in the known universe"

          The early Lego bricks were almost exclusively just red and white, no yellow, black or grey. The bases were a cream colour, and instead of a circle pattern to lock the 'knobs' of the bricks in, used to have square holes in the bottom that the 'knobs' would fit in. Additionally, the 2x1, 6x1 and 10x1 narrow bricks would not have pins to help hold them on, but had cross-wise narrow divisions to help keep the sides in enough to grab the knobs of the lower bricks. It did not work as well, and often a complex model would be difficult to build because it just would not lock together.

          The plastic of Lego from 50 years ago is different to modern bricks, and I think it was a styrene based plastic, and a bit brittle (yes, I am talking real Lego here, not the Betta Bilda and like copies, which we also had). Consequently, it would break on occasion. My older brother and I used to build models, and then use the spring powered suction dart guns (with the suckers removed - never be allowed these days) to 'blow' the models up, in scenes reminiscent of Stingray and Thunderbirds. Every now and then, we would break a brick. (Side note. In the film Thunderbirds Are Go, some of the houses that Zero-X crashes into are clearly made from Lego if you frame step the DVD!)

          There used to be completely different windows and doors, with glazing in as well. I remember the garage bases with up-and-over doors, which were the right size to allow you to build a garage for a Matchbox sized car. The garage door auto-opened (it was weighted) and was held down by a flap that caught the bottom of the door. 'Drive' a car up, and over the flap to press it down, and the door would open. Push the car in, and close the door, and then trigger the door, and the car would roll out because it parked on a shallow ramp that formed the base of the garage.

          Originally, the roof bricks were steep, almost 45 degrees so that a 2x4 roof brick had 1x4 knobs on the top to allow you to build the roof.

          There also were wheel bricks, with wheels with rubber tyres (originally white/beige, but replaced quite quickly with black tyres) that had metal pins that would push into the wheel brick. If you stood on on one of the wheels which was pin-up, you really know about that! This was extended to train tracks and special flanged wheels (we originally used the wheels with the tyres taken off), complete with electric motors.

          Things started getting different in about 1968, with different plastic, curved bricks, and specialist fence, trees, flowers and less steeply raked roof bricks, with additional colours and clear bricks, different plastic, and more brick sizes. And then they introduced models with special parts made only for a particular model, which would always go missing. People started building the models and leaving them built, rather than using their own imagination.

          My youngest son, who is 18, has his complete lifetime's worth of bricks from special models (he's a real Lego fiend). We've just done a tidy and consolidation, and we have many thousands of bricks, filling all the drawers of a desk, along with storage tubs of the more common bricks, and glass coffee jars for the more specialist bricks. I don't reckon he could make any of the models up now, but he has vowed to find all the bits for the X-Wing kit he had! We may have to go to the Lego site and order a piece or two (yes, they sell single bricks from almost everything they've done in the last 20 years, but they tend to be expensive). They will even print on bricks (particularly body parts) from your own design if you are prepared to pay for it!

          And I'm about to take ownership of the remains of my Lego set from the 60's from my father.

          1. BoldMan

            Re: " toughest substance in the known universe"

            Lego from 50 years ago? Pah a mere stripling... Meccano is still compatible with the first edition put out by Frank Hornby "Mechanics Made Easy" in 1898! In my collection I've got plates and girders going back to the 20s and 30s that still look superb.

            1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

              Re: " toughest substance in the known universe"

              Yeah, had Meccano as well, but I really did not like the square nuts that had sharp poorly formed corners that would scratch the enamel off the coloured metal panels (that probably puts a date on the sets, as more recent Meccano had hex. nuts). Never had an electric motor, but did have the clockwork motor. This was really my older brother's, not mine.

              I moved on to building control-line aircraft instead of building things from Meccano!

          2. MacroRodent Silver badge
            Thumb Up

            Re: " toughest substance in the known universe"

            You neatly described how I also see the Lego evolution. My son has around 1000x times the number of Lego parts I had at his 8 years of age (yeah we Finns have got richer...), but it is harder to use them for own designs, since most come from different disintegrated StarWars, Space Police, Kingdoms etc. etc. sets with too many special types of parts. Even if you find more than 2 of the same shape, they are of different colour... The old limited palette reduced this problem.

            I still have my box of various old school Legos, but left intentionally at my parents house. It is delightful to see what happens when the modern kids (my son and his cousins) get their hands on these mostly generic parts that do not carry any message about what you should build from them. The only specialty is the old Lego railway system with the discrete rail and tie parts. But even there the isolated rails can act in other designs as rods etc. It is really sad it has been discontinued.

  6. localzuk

    Damaging?

    Fantasy and fiction are damaging? Better stop them reading the Bible then...

  7. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    He has a point - sort of...

    One of the joys of Lego in the early days was that it encouraged imagination. Using basic building blocks you could create anything. Then they started bringing out special pieces and sets and it became just another one-use toy, or at best a jigsaw - build whatever is on the box. These figures are the same - kids don't really need a Lord Vampyre figure - if they want to pretend they're fighting the dark lord from their spaceship then they should be able to take a nice friendly smiling 'Mr Bun the Baker' (or whatever) figure and PRETEND he's a mega-vampyre.

    All these specialist bits are just a way to extract more money out of kids and their parents.

    Obviously Playmobil doesn't count...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: He has a point - sort of...

      Yes and no, you can still easily get "normal" LEGO and my two girls love playing with it. They mix and match with the custom stuff with bizarre effect.

    2. DropBear Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: He has a point - sort of...

      they should be able to take a nice friendly smiling 'Mr Bun the Baker' (or whatever) figure and PRETEND he's a mega-vampyre

      Spot on - back in the day we were quite happy to use 2-4-2 brick stacks as a rudimentary human figure - never stopped any of the fun, they were completely general purpose and you could never really run out of them...

    3. Joefish

      Re: Using basic building blocks you could create anything...

      Oh for Frith's sake, have today's comments been taken over by an army of James Mays? That Built-Of-Lots-Of-Colours (BOLOCS) doesn't wash with any kid over five.

      I suppose back in your day you had to pretend that a slab of red and blue bits was the Millenium Falcon right up to the age of 12, instead of the officially licensed sets you can buy now that wipe the floor with the sales figures of any other toy you can imagine.

      1. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge

        Re: Using basic building blocks you could create anything...

        Just a pity the Millenium Falcon kit really is pants compared to the display one at Legoland (19,800 pieces ffs!).

        However given the Death Star is a little over 3,000 pieces for £300, its probably just as well it's not available as a shipping crate.

      2. Santa from Exeter

        Re: Using basic building blocks you could create anything...

        @Joefish

        Back in my day the Millenuim Falcon wasn't around when I was 12, and I didn't have a handy TARDIS to travel to now to buy the overpriced crappy licenced tat.

        I was perfectly happy with 'basic' Lego bricks until progressing on to Meccano at around age 12.

        I then had endless fun building 'unrealistic' vehicles and (once I had my pride and joy - a Mammod static engine) ferris wheels and all sorts that included sharp edged Meccano fron the 30's bought in jumble sales.

        1. Joefish

          Re: Using basic building blocks you could create anything...

          @ 'Santa from Exeter'

          So, in what way are you NOT James May? This 'Meccano-was-amazing' fantasy is just another aspect of the whole "wasn't life great when we were all half-starved and they were dropping bombs on us" school of reminiscing. What next, bring back those childhood joys of power cuts; kicking white dog-shit down the street; maybe a bit of cholera too? Kids today don't know what they're missing.

          I hate to break it to you like this, but the past really isn't better than the present (and that applies to LEGO as much as anything) - what really changed is, you let yourself get OLD!

          Now go and buy some proper LEGO. The latest Octan race car is particularly good. And go and see the movie. Then buy some more. Meccano? Seriously? You really wish that on kids today?

  8. adnim Silver badge
    Devil

    Proof that God exists

    To bring about Armageddon what could be better that instigating the creation of dozens of diametrically opposed religions with a fundamental tenant of each being that it be the only true religion and that all others must fall?

    Satan therefore exists because God is good and would never do such a thing. Only the Devil would create such a situation where humankind murders each other in the name of a religion. Ipso facto God exists.

    Now that that has been cleared up, Lego the tool of Satan destroying children's souls? The only thing Satanic about Lego is the price.

  9. Dave 125

    Reporting April Fool stories as news?

    Or is it only me that thinks there's something significant in "Publikacja: 01.04.2014".

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Perhaps not

      The the register linked to a Polish article that links to:

      http://www.se.pl/wydarzenia/kraj/szatan-czai-sie-wszedzie-klocki-lego-kucyk-pony-i-hello-kitty-gdzie-jeszcze_389274.html

      At the end of that article it says: Publikacja: 31.03.2014 13:42 Aktualizacja: 01.04.2014 14:04

      That was sufficiently ambiguous that I decided to look more carefully. Web searches on Slawomir Kostrzewa mostly show articles in English dated second of April with a few dated the first. By chance, I noticed his name is really Sławomir Kostrzewa. Most of the links go to unrelated people with one of those names, but on the second page, there is this:

      http://www.fronda.pl/a/ks-slawomir-kostrzewa-diably-staly-sie-modne-i-swietnie-sie-sprzedaja,31423.html

      Google translate tells me Sławomir thinks modern popular culture makes young girls act like necro-vamps or prostitutes. The date at the bottom is 21.10.2013

      I would expect a loud mouth like this to have more form, but perhaps there are more entertaining loons in Poland keeping him out of the news.

  10. fritsd

    You forgot Jack McHammer (Groundskeeper Willy) and Frank Rock (Mike from the Young Ones).

    Well what does he want to have for hero-figures then? Habakkuk the Grumpy Prophet?

    1. Joefish

      Re: You forgot Jack McHammer (Groundskeeper Willy) and Frank Rock

      I think you'll find that Frank Rock is based on Bruce Campbell's combined history of monster slaying end Elvis impersonating.

  11. foo_bar_baz

    On a tangent

    One thing is true: Lego heroes (police etc) all have grim and sour expressions, the only ones with smiles seem to be crims. What does that teach my kids?

    1. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: On a tangent

      "One thing is true: Lego heroes (police etc) all have grim and sour expressions, the only ones with smiles seem to be crims. What does that teach my kids?"

      ...er...that you can swap out the heads and hats to make the cops smile and the bad guys grumpy when they are caught?

  12. thosrtanner

    on a complete tangent

    Maybe those nice polish coffin makers who do the calendar should team up with lego for next years edition and send him a copy.

  13. John Tserkezis

    Not a problem for me.

    "...are actually tools of Satan that can destroy children's souls."

    No problem here, I sold my soul to some guy called Milhouse for five bucks. Sucker.

  14. thomas k.
    WTF?

    WTF?!

    While I can at least understand his reasoning regarding Lego, what's his beef with Hello Kitty and My Little Pony?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "... including Hello Kitty, Pokemon and My Little Pony"

    I *heart* Hello Kitty.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Is it just me, or does writing *heart* instead of 'love' completely miss the point of using an image of a heart to indicate the word 'love' ?

      1. Lapun Mankimasta

        Get "biblical" and use "bowels of compassion" instead.

  16. John Bailey

    And this dear listeners..

    Is why I became an atheist.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: And this dear listeners..

      All men begin as atheists, it's only when the Bible Bashers starting spinning their tales to children that anyone ever become religious.

      It is forbidden to play with a child's body, why is it not forbidden to play with his mind ?

  17. Elmer Phud Silver badge

    Pole polisher?

    Years ago, my nippers never had the delights of these modern Lego sets and characters.

    Not only that but no-one ever brought toy guns for my two girls but that never stopped them from making all sorts od ordnance from Lego bricks.

    My youngest (butter wouldn't melt etc.) used to build rooms in Sims, have a wall full of fireplaces, fill the rest of the room with sofas then put a few Sims in and remove the door. That's when she wasn't building swimming pools, filliing them with childen and removing the steps. It was such a small step form discovering how much fun it was to takeaway the toilets.

    Nowadays, she's still the mild-mannered, thoughtful, kind peaceful person but also one of the nastiest, most viscious mass-killers on WoW I've ever seen.

    Mr Priest -- yer too late.

    And anyway, I've seen small kids have gun fights using teddy bears as pretend guns.

    1. Spleen

      Re: Pole polisher?

      "My youngest (butter wouldn't melt etc.) used to build rooms in Sims, have a wall full of fireplaces, fill the rest of the room with sofas then put a few Sims in and remove the door"

      The second most fun you can have in a simulation game, next to building a "powered-launch" coaster in RollerCoaster Tycoon that flung everyone off a hill to an explosive death. I seem to remember that if you made your deathtrap too obvious (e.g. just a launch and a short ramp) the guests would refuse to go on it. But if you made it look like a proper coaster and that final hill was just a bit too short... then you are become Death.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Pole polisher?

      "Nowadays, she's still the mild-mannered, thoughtful, kind peaceful person but also one of the nastiest, most viscious mass-killers on WoW I've ever seen."

      This is one of the major benefits of the internet and online gaming... the ability to commit heinous atrocities without any real world consequence. Whether its mass slaughter of murlocs in WoW or the genocide of entire races in Mass Effect, it can be a very good way of finding some carthartic release after a hard day!

      The fact that I can go home in the evening and spend an hour or two venting my frustration at all the idiots who've irritated me during the course of a day at work by imagining they're my targets as I brutally and repeatedly kill people in online games is one of the reasons I've managed not to actually kill anybody in real life... so far, at least...

  18. Graham Marsden
    Devil

    "dark monsters, which can negatively affect the development of children"

    And they should all learn to behave or SATAN WILL TAKE THEIR SOUL!!!!

  19. Flugal

    This reminds us how much credence we should give the the thoughts of religious leaders.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fill his office with lego zombies

    As in the title really. While hes out on lunch fill his office with little Lego zombies.

    1. Sorry, "Sorry that handle is already taken" is already taken.

      Re: Fill his office with lego zombies

      "While hes out on lunch ..."

      So any time really, because this fella is, quite clearly, permanently out to lunch. :-)

  21. Winkypop Silver badge
    FAIL

    It's quite telling really

    Grown man, a priest: concerned about imaginary souls and evil beings, etc.

    5 year old: concerned about building the best spaceship, castle, lair, robot, etc....

  22. Squander Two

    Obviously.

    > He cited a study from the University of Canterbury in New Zealand last year, which found that the number of happy faces on Lego minifigs was decreasing while the number of angry faces was increasing.

    Since all Lego figures used to have a smile, well, duh.

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: Obviously.

      Exactly my thoughts on this. Statistics, lies and damn statistics.

      I remember wishing that they had other expressions other than "gormless grin" or that there was a difference between male and female faces. The enterprising among us got hold of marker pens and draw faces on (aka mauled with a marker) the reverse of the head to give us some variety.

  23. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Pint

    Lego as a reminder of mortality

    Digging out the kids Lego that has been stored in the attic for decades I'm amazed that it's as bright and shiny as it was on the day I bought it.

    Me, however...

    (Beer 'cause I need one after that)

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Theocracy.

    Poland is a very devoutly Catholic country. You can tell that by simply looking at the pictures posted in the Polish Wikipedia. There are usually two pictures of large old churches or cathedrals in it per week--sometimes every day. What I did not realize is that the Catholic clergy can be as irrational as the Baptist or Pentacostal clergy. This fellow has shown me the light.

  25. axemanrj

    Did anyone mention??? EARWORM ALERT

    Don't worry Father Strangepriest, everything is awesome!!!!

  26. conan

    I think this is important

    I actually agree with the priest. Not about the evil, but I don't like the fact that different lego sets are now "for" a particular demographic. Sure, when I was a kid all I wanted were spaceship sets, but once the pieces I got were all thrown in a box, there was nothing to suggest a spaceship as opposed to, say, a barn.

    This is worst in the case of girls vs boys, where some sets are based around fighting and presumably aimed at boys (http://www.lego.com/en-gb/ninjago?icmp=COUKFRNinjago), and some around socialising, again presumably for girls (http://friends.lego.com/en-gb?icmp=COUKFRFriends). The colour schemes broadly follow the blue/pink zeigeist for distinguishing gender. If a boy picks up his sister's Lego set today, I'm guessing he's much less likely to be interested than 30 years ago. For a toy which by its nature appeals only to creativity and imagination, I think imposing these sorts of limitations is a real shame - and is driven by adults who do the purchasing, because the kids have shown time and time again that they don't care until they're told to.

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: I think this is important

      While I agree that there is now more obvious gender targetting of lego, to a large part this always the case. The "city" lego was usually shown pictures with girls and boys. The "space" lego was usually shown with pictures of boys. The rather older "house" lego (where you built rooms and had articulated characters) was usually shown with girls.

      However dump all the pieces in a box and they become the building blocks that a much wider variety of things can be built of - but that's the enduring beauty of lego, what you can do with it. The more specific the piece then usually the less options for re-use there are but even this encourages creativity - want a satellite dish for the side of a house but don't have one, use a water character's "tray" instead.. want a downlighter for a light but don't have one, use a satellite dish... and so on.

      The interesting thing about the blue = boy, pink = girl colour gender assignment is that this is a relatively recent assignment; It used to be the other way around. It's also interesting to note that it wasn't that long ago that up until a reasonable age boys and girls were dressed near identically.

    2. Joefish

      Re: I think this is important

      You're forgetting the answer to one simple question - who has the biggest clout and influence; who buys by far the most LEGO from the LEGO company? And the asnswer is ... Toys'R'Us. Parents buy LEGO from a toy shop.

      It's called marketing. That, legal professionals, and catholic priests - you can work out your own order for the lowest circles of hell for that lot.

  27. Flakey

    If He's That Bothered

    maybe he should contact Lego and get them to roll out a Lego "Jesus" set. Just think of the fun he could have: Lego Last Supper with his disciples, the arrest and questioning of Lego Jesus by Lego Pontius Pilate, a Lego cross complete with crown of thorns and to top it off, a resurrected Lego Jesus, all angelic. On second thoughts I think I might contact Lego with this idea

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: If He's That Bothered

      I do like the idea of a "Jesus" set but then there's that difficult question of how Commander J marshals the Battle Nuns when they go fight Action Man Giganticus. Do they go with the Pirates in the Space Galleon, ride on the back of Tommy 'Tank' Tortoise, or glide in on Hudl One?

      Darned kids and their ridiculous imaginations.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What about looking at this from the other side?

    I was trying to summon a demon the other day and just got a box of Lego....

  29. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Was this Lego Face Study paid for out of the academics' pockets, or did they get public funding for this moronic waste of time?

    Seriously, some stern letters should be going out right now from higher educational institutions demanding the return of Degree Certificates for making "educated" people look stupid again.

  30. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    If this clergyman were to change his fixation to GI Joe he would at least stand a chance of getting a (kung fu) grip.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He should watch the LEGO Movie...

    ... then he'd know that there's no need to worry because EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

    Apologies to anyone who has watched the LEGO Movie and now has that annoying tune stuck in their head again...

  32. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    bowdlerisation

    In my day, when Humpty Dumpty cracked his shell, not even all the king's horses and all the king's men could put him back together again. The big bad wolf ate Little Red Riding Hood, and even in a tale with a happy ending (Hansel and Gretel), the witch gets burned alive in her own oven. We also played Cowboys and Indians and Cops and Robbers. Nowadays, Humpty Dumpty can be rebuilt, the huntsman saves Little Red Riding Hood (or maybe the wolf only came for tea) and Hansel and Gretel would have been adopted by the kindly witch.

    What is this world coming to?

  33. mad_dr
    Mushroom

    How about a Reg readers' suggestion thread...

    ...for the most inappropriate idea for a themed Lego kit? If we get enough ideas, perhaps we can petition Lego to put it into production (or perhaps not).

    I'd like to see:

    Inglourious Basterds Farmhouse set (Complete with removable floorboards, milk jug, pipe, etc.)

    1. Flakey

      Re: How about a Reg readers' suggestion thread...

      I'm going for a Prostitute Lego set. Build your own sleazy neighborhood complete with ladies of the night on every street corner, "customers" slowly driving by and pimps in flashy motors at an appropriate distance. Could be a winner

  34. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
    Pirate

    This is new?

    So the Lego skeletons from a few years back are OK because they're smiling?

  35. system11

    I agree with him in the vaguest of ways. I do think lego was nicer before all the smirking attitude faces.

  36. Lapun Mankimasta

    At the very least, he could use the ingenious suggestion from some Perl hackers of a few years ago, and:

    https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/comp.sources.misc/FZqNSnP2s8Q/ZvsZ-9GqcJoJ

    XThe name suits the program, in our opinion. If you don't like it,

    Xfeel free to call it "SANTA", which is, perhaps, a more user-friendly

    Xanagram of the acronym - you can run the repent program if you are

    Xreally offended.

    Just repent.pl with all your heart, or your bowels of compassion if necessary, and all these Satanic faces become Santaic faces.

  37. Michael Habel Silver badge

    Finally I fond a proper use for these 3D Printer thingies... I can just print out my own custom Bricks!

    Wonders how long it would take to knock of a few hundred pieces needed to build a Lego Rifle?...

  38. teebie

    Well that's just silly

  39. po

    You may laugh but...

    It's easy to mock the good bishop, but remember how all those religious groups that warned against the evils of D&D back in the eighties were proved right by the massive upswing in serial killings, the opening of the hell mouths over Washington, London and Paris, and the plague of demonspawn? Lego are toying with dark forces here.

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