back to article Cops bang up 'drunk, naked' Virginian

A Virginian earned herself a cuffing last Saturday night after allegedly rolling up at a cop shop both drunk and in the buff, demanding to see her incarcerated hubby. Maura Fussell poses for an Arlington County Police mugshot According to this report, 26-year-old Maura Fussell, of Reston, arrived at Arlington Magistrate’s …

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  1. Titus Technophobe
    Happy

    2015

    Booking tickets for St. Patricks day in Arlington VA.

  2. Sander van der Wal
    IT Angle

    IT angle?

    Let the USA know that other countries have their own three-quarter wits and we don't particularly care about your half-wits. There are already plenty of them on the telly anyway.

    1. Ben Bonsall

      Re: IT angle?

      I think it was more of a tIT angle.

      1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

        Re: IT angle?

        Come on, Lester must be having an off-day. Got through a whole article about a naked woman getting cuffed and having her collar felt without asking if they matched...

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: IT angle?

          Why would I deprive you lot of the pleasure of making that connection? You can't expect me to do all the work around here.

          1. Piro

            Re: IT angle?

            Hmm, you're reading this on a computer, presumably they used a computer to record the two boozy troublemakers' details, and one imagines computers were involved in processing the alcohol transactions that caused so much trouble.

          2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: IT angle?

            "You can't expect me to do all the work around here."

            Of course we do. What do you think we pay you for? Oh...wait...

            <off to click a few adverts>

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: IT angle?

        Surely you mean tIT dangle

  3. Baron Ebaneezer Wanktrollop III

    Pictures or it never 'appened!

    1. GSystems

      There We Go

      Was willing to read through all of the comments before I posted as such... Exactly!

  4. lansalot

    actually...

    I think you'll find that ultimately, she didn't get her collar felt.

    Well, not by her partner, anyway...

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: actually...

      But at least they'd know if it matched her cuffs...

  5. russell 6
    Joke

    More likely she was picked up by the fuzz rather than had her collar felt. Getting my coat.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    These days...

    ...my wife doesn't even go to bed naked never mind go to fetch me from the cop-shop. However, looking on the bright side, I and the local residents should be thankful for that.

    1. Ted Treen

      Re: These days...

      Damned good job you commented as AC.

      Your real name/handle could have ensured it was your last ever comment...

  7. Denzel
    Paris Hilton

    Pics or it didn't happen!

    Paris, because...well doesn't need explaining really, does it?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Indecent?

    Why not unrequested exposure?

    1. HelpfulJohn

      Re: Indecent?

      Indecent?

      That picture makes her look quite nice, possibly even a little "hot". So unless she had some disgusting disfigurement not seen in the head-shot I can't see how "indecent" applies.

      Of course I'm male, hetero and "allowed to look" so maybe I'm missing a nuance?

      1. Sooty

        Re: Indecent?

        I was really not expecting her to look like that at all.

  9. Swarthy Silver badge
    Trollface

    Hmm.. Where are Don Jefe's comments

    Knowing that that's his backyard, I would expect that he would have some insight.

    I'll be nice and presume that he is still hungover from the festivities. This is no way to imply that he was the one receiving the visit from his Mrs.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Refused to get dressed or leave in a cab

    Bit unfair really. How was she going to pay the cab fare?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Refused to get dressed or leave in a cab

      "How was she going to pay the cab fare?"

      A question perhaps better unasked.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Refused to get dressed or leave in a cab

        Actually I was hoping someone would answer it, and then I could have trotted out the classic cab driver joke reply:

        "Haven't you got anything smaller?"

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. GitMeMyShootinIrons

      Re: Refused to get dressed or leave in a cab

      Excuse my naïveté, but where would she keep her change?

      Ah, yes, with her mobile phone - how silly of me.

  11. Semtex451 Silver badge
    Go

    limerick competition mission Creep

    Its asking too much i suppose to have a Limerick competition on this quality Bootnote, instead of ball point pens.

    Tut.

    1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Semtex451 Re: limerick competition mission Creep

      There was a young lady from Arlington County,

      Who went to the Coppers displaying all of her bounty,

      When propositioned by the fuzz,

      She declined despite the buzz,

      Saying; "I'd only do that with a Mountie!"

      1. Semtex451 Silver badge

        Re: Semtex451 limerick competition mission Creep

        There was a young lass from Reston VA

        Missing hubby banged up for more than a day

        For a Paddy’s day bash

        She went out on the lash

        Appeared nude at the clink for a roll in the hay

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: limerick competition mission Creep

      There was a young lady of Reston

      Who went out without even a vest on

      She went to the Plod

      To demand hubby's bod

      All she got was a cell bunk to rest on.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: limerick competition mission Creep

        Never write a limerick, it will nag you to improve it for days.

        Rev II

        A drunken young lady of Reston

        Saw the police without even her vest on.

        She asked of the squad

        For her paramour's bod

        But they said it was out of the question.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For now let's assume

    That this is not a publicity stunt that has gone right.

    About 31900 results (0.18 seconds)

  13. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    Cute.

    Nothing more to add.

  14. All names Taken

    Wot a lassie!

    Wot a beautiful image to see on a Friday too.

  15. Maty

    Limerick competition

    A lass named Maura Fussell

    Had a husband locked in a cell

    Wearing nothing but skin

    She tried to get in

    It's something Virginians do well.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Limerick competition -scansion

      May I propose a mild edit for scansion?

      "A lady named Maura Fussell

      Had a husband locked up in a cell"

      Limericks can be a bit irregular but the first line usually has 8,9 or 10 syllables, with 8 being commonest, and as your last line (which is a good one) has 9, so should the second.

      Of course, you can always tell me to take a running jump and land on my ars poetica.

      1. phear46

        Re: Limerick competition -scansion

        I liked matys.... it wasn't the best but far from worst. Helped the second time round when you read her name as foo-sell

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

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