The cynics among you might try to claim that everything at Amazon is offered at a 20 per cent discount because of its advantageous tax arrangements
No, I'd claim Amazon was offering everything at a 16.667% discount.
I am a very lucky man: Amazon is offering me a 20 per cent discount. The cynics among you might try to claim that everything at Amazon is offered at a 20 per cent discount because of its advantageous tax arrangements but that would be the result of confusion. My 20 per cent discount has nothing to do with VAT being 20 per cent …
quote: "err, do your guests know you are making them wipe their mouths and hands on used nappies?"
I spot a distinct lack of trust in standardised washing processes (including machinery and detergents). They are good enough for me, and I would happily use a freshly washed cloth regardless of it's previous role.
I also happily eat sausages and drink tap water though, so YMMV ^^;
We tried cloth nappies with our first son, 5 years ago. Really, we did. We were pro-planet, cloth is better for baby, who cares about the initial cost because we save money in the long run parents.
But, he would soak the nappies and any clothes he was wearing at the time.
That doesn't sound too bad, except he did this almost hourly. Even with the extra inserts and the "waterproof" cover.
Disposable worked out cheaper because with them we managed to keep our sanity.
> Amazon, Google and all the others have been assiduously tracking, carefully storing and relentlessly re-using information about us.... for years
And still they make a total balls-up of analysing it. So imagine what a mess a government run tracking scheme would be. Without even the incentive for getting it right, of making a profit?
Yet this is what we get. With all the surveillance, meta-data, guilt by association and treating all their citizens like criminals: even before they start correlating the data they get from our everyday activities.
They say that if you have done nothing wrong, then you have nothing to hide. The problem, as this example illustrates, isn't that the bad things you (may) have done will come to light - it's the incorrect conclusions and false-positives that get drawn from poorly analysed data collections. Even from the world's best commercial operators.
"Maybe the spammers know something that I don't. Have I really been deluded thinking I was a woman for the last 40-odd years?"
My favorite spam of all time was about twenty three years ago. It was a spam arranging a dating club with people that had herpes ! A commendable act I thought but where did they get my address from?
I don't get spam any more! is that sad?
That's the problem with Amazon recommendations and advertising - if I only bought stuff for myself I guess their only failing would be for things I'd just bought, e.g. why keep pushing TV adverts at me when I've just bought a brand new TV from you?
However, the reality is that my Amazon purchase history is a mish-mash of personal purchases, things I've brought for work, things my kids or relatives have asked me to buy for them, presents I've bought for people ranging from babies to 80+ year olds. No wonder Amazon's targeted ads seem to be aimed at the wrong target!
I am against nuke plants, vehemently, or anything nuke and I am a Brit ... facebook served me an ad for a career on a nuke carrier (the US navy) ... Now, I don't fancy killing kids from the "safe haven" that is a nuke carrier, thank you very much.
As for Amazon, they always serve me ads for stuff I recently purchased and, obviously, have no need to purchase again - the MUM5 works a treat, not sure why anyone would want a second one ... No I do not have ad block, I click on the ads to help finance my favorite websites (el Reg included) ;-)
Will I get a bonus from el reg ? No, shit, I'm anon ... oh well ...
" Will I get a bonus from el reg ? No, shit, I'm anon ... oh well ... "
You only think you are anonymous. ElReg knows your login handle/password, which is required to post here. In turn, they are tied to your current IP address (by definition). You are not as anon as you (seem to) think you are.
D weekend :-)
You do realize that all the criticisms you had about spotify are clearly untargeted ads EVERYONE sees, right?
They're not saying "you would like this".
They're saying "these are CURRENTLY TRENDING AND ARE REALLY POPULAR".
Are you sure you're actually the only one to recieve this nappy discount? I can't take the premise of the article seriously anymore.
@gloucester Are you using the Humpty-Dumpty Words Means Whatever I Want Dictionary? This is what I find in reputable sources. And, no, I haven't omitted a second definition from further down the page.
OED 1. Very loyal and committed in attitude and 2. (Of a wall) of strong or firm construction.
Cambridge always loyal in supporting a person, organization, or set of beliefs or opinions.
Collins 1. loyal, firm, and dependable, 2. solid or substantial in construction, 3. (rare) (of a ship, etc) watertight; seaworthy
Merriam-Webster 1a : watertight, sound, 1b strongly built: substantial, 2 steadfast in loyalty or principle.
I'm afraid my knowledge of Old French isn't as good as yours, but some dictionaries appear to concur in your view that "staunch" derives from a 13C verb meaning "to stanch". If people are going to post to El Reg in archaic foreign languages, it would help to add some indication of which language they are using.
Hmm, an American correcting English on an British web site? I had to look up the word stanch as I'd never come across it before, thought something was amiss when firefox put a red wiggly line underneath it, this is what google had to say:
variant spelling of staunch2.
"Sanitary napkins work even better. Tampons, with their applicators, can even help staunch a deep puncture wound."
Sanitary towels are great for wounds, good for keeping sweat out of eyes in tropical climates and jungle. Tampons are superb for puncture wounds and particularly bullet wounds. Brown unbleached ones are best due to TSS but any port in a storm.
Not just the same thing, but often from the same supplier.
Its this that proves that targetted advertising is utterly pointless. In a world where we can search for stuff we know we want there is no point showing adverts for that stuff. I'd guess it has a higher click-through rate, however I'd expect the actual extra sales generated to be less than random ads that actually stood a chance of showing you something you weren't already going to buy anyway and may not even have known you wanted (or that it existed).
Ah, but if the ad-service can lose the detailed time-ordering when reporting, the vendor might see an apparent higher hit-rate for their ads: ad pushed (afterwards) to a buyer might easily be mis-analysed as an ad pushed to someone who bought ... especially if the vendor doesn't have access to detailed buyer/ad-target data. This would make the ads seem more useful than they are, and so help to encourage future ad orders..
I've told this one before, so apologies to those who read it last time.
Like all men, Facebook keeps throwing me "Meet hot young single women in your area who are absolutely gagging for it" adverts. Then my wife bought my daughter a DVD of Annie. I'd never seen it before, noticed something mildly amusing about it, and mentioned it on Facebook. All those ads immediately disappeared, to be replaced with "Meet young oiled men in leggings and peaked caps" ads.
Somewhere in their code, Facebook actually have this algorithm: "Watched a musical => Must be a poofter."
Assuming you are computer illiterate, and don't know the difference between "jake" and "Jake" in this medium, I'll assume you mean "jake" ... Please note that "Jake" hasn't been exactly active recently.
ANYwho ...I'm not certain which of the above two posts you are responding to, but where have I ever displayed homophobia, or a love of Dodge motor vehicles? Please, do try to read for content Alister.
A something man like you probably have children or grand children who need nappies. That is logic, get over it, you cannot hide. Still when I put Linux on a Windows machine previously used by my wife and using it now, YouTube keeps proposing stuff I never looked at. Also I am frequently asked to do something about my Windows machine as it's running out of space and guts, spooky. What makes me a bit sad are a few, god forsaken sites, where I have been, for years, the one and only first 1.000.000 human being to accidentally find them. Please somebody help them.
Now Tesco have changed into a bank, they have changed their telephone security requirements without telling the customers. So, unable to persuade them to transfer our money, we used snail mail to close the account. The accompanying letter said "Thank you for closing your account!" However, we made the mistake of continuing to use the credit card. Wednesday in the US, for the second time in 2 trips the card was refused. We regularly spend 2-4 months in the US for the past 20 years and Tesco have been supplied with both fixed line and mobile US phone numbers. When we phoned Tesco to find out why, we couldn't answer the new security questions to their satisfaction, even though we also wished to pay them a lot of money to clear last months bill. After she had spoken further brusque words with the Tesco employee and demanded to talk to a manager, who apparently was too important to talk to an irate customer, we were redirected to the next department who said the purchase ( for less than $400) was suspicious, so they blocked it and the following non purchase and phoned our UK number to tell us! So much for having all the customer data and knowing all about their purchasing habits. It's obviously time for a new credit card supplier. Thank god we have a US bank account for backup. I have to admit, that my experience of Amazon has so far been extremely good, so much so that they are my preferred supplier for most mail order purchasers. If they do a credit card, I'll certainly consider it!
I think the nadir was when Amazon recommended me a book on assisted suicide. Apparently other people who had enjoyed PG Wodehouse were also interested in assisted suicide.
Personally I find the opposite: a bit of Jeeves and Wooster always puts me in a spiffing mood for a top hole sort of day. What Ho!
Oh FFS Alistaire, just do what I've been doing since the targeted ads started (and are most vigorously presented right here on El Reg I might add): stick a few waterbras and thong sets on your Amazon Wish List each time you visit.
My browsing is a thing of wonder as those annoying ads of yesteryear now feature scantily clad young ladies. Nothing cheers me up like reading your column while being enthusiastically exhorted to try the latest push-up bra by a pneumatic young woman.
My 'My Amazon' page is a thing of NSFW beauty too.
No, it is because common usage over nearly 60 years suggests that term.
Though I can't say I'm thrilled by the idea of seeing Bulgarian Oilbags even if that is a more accurate description of their contents.
That's the problem with IT - it tends to reward a literal mindset and atrophy what little metaphor-decoding nodes we are born with. Luckily I grew up in the 60s and 70s and had my metaphorical nodes fed on a diet of Sunday Mirror and Page Three. I could often feel them swelling as I read from the serialized Naked Ape (with tasteful pictures that had nothing to do with the text).
Nice one, really nice one.
Put me in mind of a fellow student living in the same student house as I did, and he was into punk musing of the type in which it sounded like somebody was vomiting violently into a microphone, and somebody else had hung a fireproof mike in an operational afterburner of a jet fighter.
He used to study quietly and conscientiously till midnight, and then put his music on at roughly 120 dB. As he did not hear our complaints I yanked out the appropriate fuse. He complained that that could damage his records; I retorted that that was peanuts to the damage my 5 lb sledgehammer would do next time. I suggested he had a perfectly serviceable set of headphones so he could listen to his music any time without disturbing us. He said the sound quality would suffer. He did not understand why we howled with laughter at that.
The best was being recommended Infected Mushroom because I'd told 'em I'd listened to Dropkick Murphys… Infected Mushroom, for the uninitiated, are an Israeli trance outfit (and, yes, I do happen to rather like 'em, but from Dropkick Murphys…?!). And can anyone make ANY connection what-so-fecking-EVER between Inspiral Carpets, Terrorvision, and The Undertones…?!
But what REALLY irks me about Spotify is its gig recommendations. This is the best so far: - "You listened to Inspiral Carpets. Want to see a gig near you…?" Why thank you, Spotify, I might just as it goes… So what do I see when I tap the link…?! Manchester, Sheffield, Newcastle, Glasgow and Liverpool. Same for Half Man Half Biscuit, Five Finger Death Punch, Paul Heaton, Ziggy Marley and Pop Will Eat Itself (I'm nothing if not eclectic, me!). My Spotify settings are set to London, my Songkick settings are set to London - SO WTF AM I ONLY GETTING LISTINGS FOR THE NORTH…?!
As far as depressing spam goes, I'm currently receiving offers for discounted over-50s life insurance, retirement living and SAGA Holidays ('ere, Dabbsy! Think I'm getting yer spam, matey! ;oD). I'm barely 40 (okay, perhaps I'm a LITTLE 40…). What's next…? June Whitfield trying to sell me cover for funeral costs…?!
Okay, rant over…
Naaa, they start hitting you with hair loss treatments, and Viagra by the mid 40's.
Funeral plans and "last chance" health plans by the late 40's.
Magical investment plans to waste your pension money, Put charities on your will and buy "Best of the 1980's collections of 575 CDs" are a definite sign you've got a foot in the grave (Damn, have been getting them for a year or so !)
If it were Grooveshark giving you those recommendations, I would have to apologize, as Infected Mushroom does share a few of my playlists with Dropkick Murphy's, next to Mindless Self Indulgence and Penny Black Remedy.
But, as I don't use Spotify, I got nothin'.
I will have to check out Inspiral Carpets.
I use Google's mapping on my mobile to take my teenager to the various friends' homes. I almost always use just the postcode - I can find the actual house number myself (I'm not yet totally dependant on Google, yet).
Yet even when it's the first time I've been there Google will, spookily often, identify which is the right front door and often will even show me a picture.
I don't think I've ever used an on-line supplier who's managed to deduce what I might buy based on previous purchase or viewing history. Amazon are particularly screwed because I use them as a reference source to look things up, as in "it's available on Amazon" as an idea that something is available. I might be encouraging someone else to go buy, but not me. The fact that I delete cookies a lot probably doesn't help them either. One day I'll write an app that lets me modify cookies and screw with them even more.
I haven't actually seen the point in them, except for picking on.
I am still trying to work out why one infected a Doctor Who special, this really annoyed my daughter as she hates these sort of bands.
The nearest thing to a boy band she would listen to would be Busted or McFly.
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