back to article Chihuahua TERROR: Packs of TINY hounds menace Arizona

Residents of a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona, are battling to reclaim the streets from packs of Chihuahuas which have brought terror to wide-eyed kiddies obliged to run the canine gauntlet on their way to school. According to this chilling report on Fox, gangs of the diminutive mutts numbering as many as 12 roam the streets of …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chihuahua TERROR?

    I have to see this for myself. Sounds like a horror movie in the making.

    1. DougS Silver badge

      Re: Chihuahua TERROR?

      Someone at SyFy started the script a few minutes ago. It'll be ready for shooting tomorrow afternoon.

      1. Jason Hindle

        Re: Chihuahua TERROR?

        Chihuahua vs Sharknado?

        1. NumptyScrub
          Go

          Re: Chihuahua TERROR?

          Chihuahuaconda

          Black Chihuawidow (one tiny bite and you're doomed!)

          Piranhuahua vs Sharktopus

          1. Marketing Hack Silver badge

            Re: Chihuahua TERROR?

            I humbly suggest:

            "CHIHUACALYPSE"!!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If only Americans could play proper football, the chihuahua would be the perfect ball. GOAL!

      1. kiwimuso

        "f only Americans could play proper football, the chihuahua would be the perfect ball. GOAL!"

        ....or even rugby. Chihuahuas would be perfect for drop-kicking!!!!

        And no joke icon!

  2. jake Silver badge

    The three rules for wanna-be feral dogs, AKA "the three `S`es":

    1) Shoot.

    2) Shovel.

    3) Shutup.

    Sadly, the "owners", who obviously have no clue as to how to train a canine good citizen, are the real problem ... and it's illegal to shoot humans for being stupid, so the problem will not go away.

    Three or four house-pet dogs (from a couple-three houses) running together without human supervision are nearly a pack of feral dogs. Five running together are a feral pack, and will no longer listen to humans.

    The size of the dawgs doesn't matter. It's the lack of direction of a human pack leader ... If you are the leader of your pack, I won't have to protect my livestock from your ill-behaved dogs.

    EOF

    1. Corinne

      Re: The three rules for wanna-be feral dogs, AKA "the three `S`es":

      Chances are that these dogs don't have an owner as such, - either run-aways, dumped by owners, or bred from existing un-owned dogs.

      Unfortunately these days I would guess there's a good chance that a fair number were bought as fashion accessories (especially as they seem to be mostly small "handbag" dogs) then dumped when the owners realised that dogs aren't dolls and do crap, need feeding, cost vets bills, bite people when treated badly etc.

      I've noticed that as a generalisation people who own very small dogs have a greater tendency to fail to discipline them, probably because for many people they are baby substitutes (think old dear with yappy bad mannered toy poodle or King Charles spaniel). They also seem to think that because they are small it isn't as important as with big dogs to make them behave, though the 2 worst injuries I've ever received from dogs were from a Chihuahua and a Yorkshire terrier and I've had a LOT to do with bigger dogs too.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The three rules for wanna-be feral dogs, AKA "the three `S`es":

        I've been around a lot of dogs over the years, many of which their owners have said "You can say hello, but be careful sometimes he snaps" etc. Most of the time, I've had no issue with these dogs, ever. Even the big growlers, I however have had repeated problem with the yappy dogs, yorkie sized etc. Basically what I've found is big dogs are easier to judge.

        There are big dogs who are soft as muck, other bigs dogs who are timid and will growl out of fear, until they know you're no threat... After which they're soft as muck. And others who will growl because they're unsocial, these ones should imo be muzzled at all times in public. Sadly they aren't, normally because their owners are idiots (these dogs have normally been abused, and eventually get taken off these crappy owners. But by that point the damage is done)

        Then there are the little dogs. The ones who are soft as muck are still soft as muck. The timid ones will either run and hide, or they will snap without a moments notice. The vicious ones will snap without a moments notice.

        Basically big dogs will tell you to bugger off, while little dogs with try to pick a fight. A bit like drunks. (Every time somebody has picked a fight with me, it's been a short arse)

  3. Denarius Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    is Paris nearby ?

    Has the Paris pack taken up dog breeding ?

    1. 's water music Silver badge

      Re: is Paris nearby ?

      > Has the Paris pack taken up dog breeding ?

      I once saw a video of this, although it may not have been authentic

  4. CADmonkey

    In the words of Ron Swanson:

    "Any dog less than 50lbs is a cat and cats are pointless"

    1. xperroni

      Re: In the words of Ron Swanson:

      However, a dog with less than 50lbs still thinks like a dog.

      Whereas cats think they can do as they damn well please – regardless of weight, but clearly can get harder to oppose as we go from, say, house cat to tiger.

    2. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge

      Re: In the words of Ron Swanson:

      Nah, a dog has to be able to be sat on without major injury. Many terriers - fine dogs - fit the description and are < 50lb.

    3. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: In the words of Ron Swanson:

      I prefer the description given by Jeff Dunham: Anything I can easily drop-kick over my back-fence, not a dog!

      1. wowfood

        Re: In the words of Ron Swanson:

        Anything that bounces when it barks is not a dog. It's a chew toy.

  5. hplasm Silver badge
    Devil

    Hah.

    "The ability to form a pack of Chihauahas is insignificant next to the power of the ride-on lawnmower."

    Yip-yip-yip-EEEeee-kayay.

    Splut.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Golf

    The perfect targets to teach children how to play golf

    1. Elmer Phud Silver badge

      Re: Golf

      Oooh, urban crazy golf -- I think I played an online version years ago.

  7. MJI Silver badge

    Local cats

    Knowing how small a Chihuahua is I am a little surprised the local cats haven't had a go.

    Annoyed moggies have sharp claws, and do not suffer annoying dogd.

    1. d2

      Re: Local cats

      - moggies Rule:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPR-jbrDPc8&feature=youtu.be

      Cats Chasing Dogs | Funny Cats Chasing Dogs Compilation

      2:41

      Mr Twister's Funhouse

  8. Alan_Peery
    Happy

    My Chihuahua chased off German Sheperds

    It's really funny to see a large dog look downwards at the Chihuahua and then turn away in defeat. If there were thought bubbles, you'd see "OK, I'll go away. Yappy little dog, could eat it in a bite. What is it thinking? Why am I leaving..." with the words getting smaller and smaller.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do what you do with any Rat

    Poison them, problem solved.

  10. Rob

    Stock rearing...

    ... for Kebab vans, cats breathe a sigh of relief.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Catch them in a big net,

    then catapult them back over the border.

  12. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    If a chihuahua tried to chase me

    I I would step on it

    the dog that is, not the accellerator (gas-pedal for those on the other side of the pond).

    A healthy kick (conversion, rugby style) would also be on the cards

  13. Adam Trickett
    Alert

    Land Piranha

    Allegedly the temple dogs were crossed with small European breeds that were popular with sailors of the time (small is useful on a ship). After the temples were broken up large packs of the pre-chihuahua dogs then roamed the country side hunting and living feral "as wolves" - though on a smaller scale. It's from these frisky chaps the modern breed is a alleged to have been developed...

    I once mentioned this story to a friend in the US, who coined the phrase "Land Piranha" in a cheesy Mexican accent...

  14. Kubla Cant Silver badge

    Taco Bell advertising campaign that featured a talking Chihuahua

    Does it still talk after they've cooked it and rolled it up in a tortilla?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Coat

      Does it still talk after they've cooked it and rolled it up in a tortilla?

      Indeed it does. It says, "after eating this, you're going to feel Ruff!"

      1. Marketing Hack Silver badge
        WTF?

        You don't want to know what's in that Taco Bell "ground beef"...

  15. kraut

    That "resource" seems awfully confused about the difference between "species" and "breed".

  16. Brian Miller

    "It can tear a man's sock right off his foot!"

    said Ted Johnson, of Red Meat.

    Arizona has an open carry gun law, and people simply need to get over this thing of not eating dogs.

    1. Bitbeisser

      Re: "It can tear a man's sock right off his foot!"

      Yeah, where are those 2nd Amendment turds when you could use them for once...

  17. Beachrider

    From one American perspective...

    The prospect of teacup-holding Englishmen thinking that these Chihuahuas would hold still for a bend-it-like-Beckham corner kick is amuuuuusing. You are gonna get bit!

    I don't know why they just don't unleash a bunch of squirrels. That breaks up the chihuahua's pack thinking in seconds!

    1. willi0000000

      Re: From one American perspective...to another

      sorry, but there is presently a shortage of squirrels. they are presently all engaged in refocusing the voting base of one major American political party every fifteen minutes.

      [this message brought to you by Look, Squirrel™]

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: From one American perspective...

      A bushel or ten of very hungry squirrels and making sure there is no other easy food source should easily take care of the yappy problem.

  18. Kernel

    Quite simple

    They just need to release some pythons into the area.

  19. Mark 85 Silver badge

    So what they have..

    are small, fast moving, noisy targets? And probably a little old lady population who would surround the critters in a protective circle if it was declared open-season on Chihuahuas.

    1. Random Coolzip

      Re: So what they have..

      Which is exactly why we don't declare it. We just observe it.

      Personally, I favor a trap-and-release program, like the one we have at the local gun club.

      "PULL!"

  20. Darryl

    Pedant Alert!

    Chihuahuas are not hounds. They just barely qualify as dogs, but they definitely are not hounds.

  21. jake Silver badge

    I am appalled.

    The lack of animal behavior knowledge being displayed here is astonishing.

    I might have to cancel my subscription.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I am appalled.

      Dogs are best trained by feeding them porridge and tying a pretty bow on their tails. You then hop around on one foot for 30 minutes muttering "doggy be good, doggy be good". At the end of that 30 mins you will have the best trained pooch you could ever wish for.

      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      Has he gone yet?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You idiot, Stimpy!

  23. cortland

    Oh Chihuahua?

    "Ai, Chihuahua" is Mexican Spanish for "Oh F*dge". Substitute the right 4-letter word for "fudge.

  24. southen bastard
    Pirate

    Rat traps, the big spring loaded ones, snap and its broken,

    Another solution put a bounty on them, 2 dollars for a set of ears, could make some money there.

  25. MrDamage
    WTF?

    How

    Can you be scared of a dog who is destined to end its life in a brief, crunchy squeak beneath the heel of a sturdy boot?

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