back to article Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack

Tim Cook has broken a decade of fruity silence and finally exchanged a few words with The Register. His famous, dead genius predecessor Steve Jobs famously stopped talking to us after one of our hacks took the mickey out of his bizarre pre-baldness hairstyle*. Many years of total silence, prohibition from briefings, etc …

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  1. Bob Vistakin
    Holmes

    What's an iPad?

    Is that some cheap knock off copy of an Android tablet?

    1. LarsG

      Hairstyle

      No doubt this retro hairdo will become the de rigueur style of Fanbois wishing to emulate their hero.

      Much like the Kevin Keegan perm or the Bono mullet.

      Now the Jobs Comb Over.

    2. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: What's an iPad?

      If it says 'Sent from my iPad' then its a signature added by most a lot of people to their android setup. Its a bit like having to set you browser to IE to get some stupid government site to do something really simple.

    3. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: What's an iPad?

      Is that some cheap knock off copy of an Android tablet?

      No. It's not cheap.

    4. Steve Todd

      Re: What's an iPad?

      What's a Bob Vistakin? Is that some sort of cheap knockoff of a human being?

      1. ItsNotMe

        Re: What's an iPad?

        No Steve...it's a upgraded model of a Steve Todd...but till cheap. :-)

        Best,

        Tim

        Sent from my iPad

    5. Bitbeisser
      Devil

      Re: What's an iPad?

      You seem to confuse "cheap knock-off" with "expensive ripp-off" ... <BFEG>

  2. regadpellagru

    not well inspired hack, then

    "His famous, dead genius predecessor Steve Jobs famously stopped talking to us after one of our hacks took the mickey out of his bizarre pre-baldness hairstyle*."

    Hmmm, link ? Whoever that hack may have been, he was certainly not well inspired that day ...

    I'm not bald nor pre-bald, but I certainly know tons of folks who would take pre-baldness jokes from anyone else quite badly (or baldly :-).

    Then, as Jobs didn't seem to be the very tolerant kind, he banned El Reg company wide for a decade, which is indeed quite overkill.

    Hack lesson: don't mess with baldness.

    1. Ted Treen
      Coat

      Re: don't mess with baldness.

      OK: keep your hair on...

      1. Number6

        Re: don't mess with baldness.

        For some of us, that doesn't appear to be possible without the use of glue. Mine is vanishing, and based on observing my father's progressive hair loss, I might have to become a manager if I end up looking like Dilbert's PHB. In the meantime, I can't see it so I try not to let it bother me.

    2. Someone Else Silver badge
      Facepalm

      So, lemme get thtis straight...

      ...one of El Reg's intrepid reporters made an offhand wisecrack about the Saviour's hairstyle, and that was all it took to get the corporate cold shoulder for all this time?

      Wow...just wow! Words fail....

  3. treboR
    Meh

    It's not that bizarre, he just looks a bit like Richard Whitley

    1. Red Bren
      Coat

      he just looks a bit like Richard Whitley

      They look even more alike today. What? Too soon?

    2. Sandtitz Silver badge

      lookalike

      Richard Whiteley? Well, if you squint and don't look at the screen.

      Jobs looks exactly like George Costanza. Google it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: lookalike

        More like George Costanza's slim brother.

  4. Dan 55 Silver badge
    WTF?

    I always thought it was Jagwire wot did it

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2002/06/18/apple_announces_first_rack_servers/

    Commentards demand an explanation.

    1. xperroni

      Re: I always thought it was Jagwire wot did it

      A glimpse of a silver case was all we saw of this, which for the first time brings Apple consumer design talents to the most utilitarian of backroom computers: the rack.

      It's kinda funny to read this now, a good ten years later, and remember how Apple went through the trouble of establishing itself as an enterprise vendor – just to waste it when it became clear its consumer-aimed iStuff would seize the day, leaving the poor folks who bet on the Fruity corp stranded.

      Tech comes and goes, but Apple's disregard to their customers is timeless.

  5. Khaptain Silver badge
    Coat

    What about Tim Cook

    Tim Cook was even worse, he tried to "emulate" steve by wearing the jeans and the turtlenecks.... Steve was bad enough with his haircuts etc but it is even worse that someone would want to copy the whole look.

    Windows/DOS = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop ( debateable with TIKAM).

    MacOs = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

    Android = Variation of *nix with nicer desktop.

    Digital/Dec Vax = A true outsider.

    Therefore MacOs, Android and Windows are step brothers/sisters.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What about Tim Cook

      Windows is a variation of UNIX with a nicer desktop, but vax (by which I presume you mean vms) upon which NT is based is a true outsider?

      1. madmalc

        Re: What about Tim Cook

        Huh?

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: What about Tim Cook

          >Huh?

          Have a look at the little icon on the right hand side, there might have been a little bit of tongue in cheek involved.....

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What about Tim Cook

        VMS was also the inspiration for EPOC32 (Psion) which then become Symbian.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What about Tim Cook

          "VMS was also the inspiration for EPOC32 (Psion)"

          Really? Anyone got sources for that (other than unreferenced assertions in Wikipedia)?

          Both quality OSes, both doomed by their unfashionableness and by the lack of a revenue-generating ecosystem to promote them (no need for an ecosystem, those two were mostly fit and forget, unlike some other more fashionable OSes which were seen as ongoing revenue opportunities by an ecosystem of dependent traders).

  6. messele

    Amusing.

    I note that Hamill does not quote his own words to Tim Cook that prompted this terse reply that is being paraded around like a Native American's scalp.

    Judging by the thanks in the reply however it must have been THE MOST Bum-licky, two-faced, sycophantic crud yet from the bullshitmeister. Nice that he takes the time to regularly message somebody he has such contempt for though with such praise though.

    Please sir can we see your message so I can laugh at your pathetic journalism career some more, please, please?

    1. amanfromearth

      Re: Amusing.

      Those who can, do.

      Those who can't do, teach

      Those who can't teach, teach teachers

      Those who can't teach teachers, become journalists

      Those who can't do, teach, teach teachers, or become journalists, become politicians

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Amusing.

        Those who can't teach, inspect

        FTFY

      2. Someone Else Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Amusing.

        Those who can't teach, teach gym.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Amusing.

      The butthurt is strong with this one

    3. Joey

      Re: Amusing.

      Dear Fruity CEO, I would just like to drop you a fruity message to wish you and your fruity firm all the fruity best for the fruity New Year. Jasper

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Smacks of desperation, on both sides!

    Apple are now so desperate, they have to rekindle severed relationships. Reg, is your tongue brown?

    1. Paw Bokenfohr

      Re: Smacks of desperation, on both sides!

      Of course. Apple are desperate to get in The Register's good books. Because that would mean that The Register would carry stories about Apple. Unlike now, where it's never mentioned on the site.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Smacks of desperation, on both sides!

        That is not quite true. I do recall several fashion articles relating to keynote speeches by Apple execs. Thanks to the Reg Fashion Pages - We all know that Steve invented the turtleneck.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Best" is not just a word

    ...it's a fucking sentence. I have never understood the origin of "Best" when used to close an email. Best what??? I understand "Best regards", but just "Best"?

    Urban Dictionary shares my frustration, but I still don't understand the origin:

    (1) An elitist assholean method for signing email

    (2) An email signature indicative of a laziness too pervasive to finish what one started (by simply adding the word 'regards' followed by a comma).

    Answers on a postcard, please.

    Best,

    R Tape

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Best" is not just a word

      Pedant.

      Or is that not sufficiently sentencey for you?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Best" is not just a word

        "Pedant. Or is that not sufficiently sentencey for you?"

        You realise that "pedant" is one of the highest accolades a commentard can receive?

    2. Richard Scratcher
      Gimp

      Re: "Best" is just not a word

      No words from Mr Cook about of the release date of the Mac Pro then?

      All the best!

      Dick

      1. BristolBachelor Gold badge

        Re: "Best" is just not a word

        No news on the new Mac Pro, no.

        But there is a new model due soon - the Mac minipro. However this one needs a Thunderbolt to Ethernet cable, a collection of Thunderbolt to Sata cables, and a Thunderbolt to PCI enclose to come close to a Mac Pro, but still won't even support the amount of RAM that a Mac pro from years ago supports :(

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: a collection of Thunderbolt to Santa cables

          That'll be for Donner and Blitzen's interconnect to the Lightning wotsit?

          I'll get my coat. Red, with white decorative parts.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Best" is just not a word

        > All the best!

        Who you calling a dick?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Best" is just not a word

          > Who you calling a dick?

          Sorry, I didn't notice your name is Richard. :-b

    3. Jonathan Richards 1

      Re: "Best" is not just a word

      Interesting... I would have mentally autocompleted "Best..." with "...wishes". Kind regards, if the regards need an adjective, shurely?

    4. Barbarian At the Gates
      Trollface

      Re: "Best" is not just a word

      Best is a sentence because internet.

    5. Vic
      Pint

      Re: "Best" is not just a word

      > Best what???

      Bitter, of course :-)

      Vic.

    6. Pseudonymous Coward

      Re: "Best" is not just a word

      I use "Best" all the time. It's as redundant as all the alternatives are but it saves precious bytes allowing me to avoid Virgin Media's bandwidth throttling for just that bit longer...

  9. Snark

    This is...

    The clearest sign of the impending apocalypse ever. Hell just froze over.

  10. smartypants

    The title of the article should be...

    "Technology Site Duped By 10 line script into thinking that the Apple CEO replied to them"

    1. Adam 1 Silver badge

      Re: The title of the article should be...

      Nah it's legit.

      If it WAS Siri, it would Shirley have pointed out some nearby coffee house.

  11. Someone Else Silver badge
    Alien

    Be careful what you ask for...

    ...you might get it.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Isn't that one of the seven signs or something.....

    ...And the gates reopened for the vulture, and the journey began anew. Where Eve had left the Apple(Insert Trademark Symbol Here!), the Vulture seized upon, and hell followed suite.

  13. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    WTF?

    Whaaat?

    This comment thread has managed to start at the bottom of the barrel and work it's way steadily downwards!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Whaaat?

      Isn't that what they're for?

  14. ThomH Silver badge

    I thought El Reg made fun of Jobs' pronunciation of Jaguar?

    "Jag-yar", if memory serves. Surely you guys didn't do more than one thing to upset Apple?

    1. Not That Andrew

      Re: I thought El Reg made fun of Jobs' pronunciation of Jaguar?

      "Jag-wire", actually. And I also thought that was the reason, but everyone was making fun of that at the time, from CNet to Wired.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did Cook explain...

    ...why he gets $700 Million in annual compensation and the Chinese slaves who produce Apple products, don't?

  16. ysth

    I too would like to see the email *to* Cook.

  17. fearnothing

    "We won't rib you ever again. Promise."

    Don't make promises you can't keep.

  18. bruceld

    Tim Cook

    With or without his fortune...I personally find Tim Cook to be the sexiest man on the planet. I'd marry him in a heartbeat...!

    From...a canadian admirer. :D

    1. kain preacher Silver badge

      Re: Tim Cook

      IS there a canadian version of the film deliverance ?

  19. EPurpl3

    Finally a good article, well done reg :D

    I bet Cook would like reg to ROFL a little more about Jobs to let everybody know that Apple it's not Jobs.

  20. sisk Silver badge

    Apple's silence to El Reg for all these years has been because you had the audacity to point out that Jobs had a bad hairstyle??? I'd assumed it was because you didn't sing their praises. I didn't think even Jobs had an ego that big.

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