back to article PANIC OVER DROOPING house prices hits MEMBER-shaped estate

Residents of an estate in Wirral fear house prices might be seriously affected by the revelation that their sleepy corner of Merseyside resembles a giant gentleman's undercarriage when viewed from aloft. The penis-shaped configuration of houses in Wirral The ensemble of Edward Road, George Road and Yeoman Cottages do indeed …

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  1. SirDigalot

    Obviously nothing to do with

    The great big industrial estate next door...

    1. PhilBuk
      Thumb Up

      Re: Obviously nothing to do with

      Agreed. I've lived in within 2 miles of this area for 23 years and didn't even know there were houses down there! As you say, I suspect living next to an industrial estate has more of an effect on the house prices than anything else. Oh, and the area floods like buggery at frequent intervals.

      Phil.

    2. Steve Evans

      Re: Obviously nothing to do with

      Or that it's in the Wirral?!

      1. Mike 102
        Megaphone

        Re: Obviously nothing to do with

        Clearly as the the whole of the Wirral is desolate place no one would ever want to live in.... tosser

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A nice new stadium in the area should help with the house prices...

    I hear Qatar has a lovely design they could borrow.

  3. GitMeMyShootinIrons
    Pint

    It's Friday and I'm bored...

    The house at the end of George Road needs a large fountain to complete the image. Perhaps some nice big bushes around the periphery of Edward road and Yeoman Cottages too.

    "Homes under the Hammer" takes on eye-watering connotations.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clowns.

    I can't imagine many estate agents have ever been asked:

    "But what does it look like when viewed from a helicopter or plane? Will my friends who can fly mock me?"

    You live on an average street, in a fairly industrial area in the Wirral, was there ever a point in time when people were queuing to buy on this street? No. I think not.

    In fact a quick check shows a year on year rise of house sale prices on one of those streets since '06, the one with the nicer houses on it.

    1. Don Jefe
      Happy

      You would be flabbergasted, flabbergasted I say, at the loony questions any kind of salesperson is asked. Is the house meteor resistant? Has anyone ever been held prisoner in the basement? If the drain backs up will the shingles on the roof taste good with spicy mustard?

      Now, I grant you prior to this event most real estate agents were likely never asked if the shape of the street resembled genitalia, but I bet they will be asked now. The smart ones will say the street was designed to look like a bouquet of flowers and the Internet perverts turned the image wrong way round. I would be willing to bet that sites for helping first time home buyers know what to ask incorporate the question 'does your potential new street look like a giant cock when viewed from above'.

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Happy

        @Don Jefe

        "Has anyone ever been held prisoner in the basement?

        Shouldn't that be "Can you hold prisoners in that basement?"

  5. David Pollard

    "To prevent punters pulling out prematurely ..."

    I see what you did there.

  6. Simon Harris Silver badge
    Coat

    This is only the beginning...

    I hear developers are planning to build condominia all around it.

  7. M Gale

    Why Worry over Wirral Willy?

    Dunno why they're that worried. Played right, the only way that's adjusting house prices is up.

    1. Montreal Sean

      Re: Why Worry over Wirral Willy?

      I wouldn't want to be around when the property value reaches it's peak.

  8. Bronek Kozicki Silver badge

    could have been worse

    1. Ivan Headache

      Or even worse

      http://gawker.com/christian-science-church-looks-like-a-giant-dick-from-s-1454084292

      1. Fink-Nottle

        Or even worser yet

        http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10455544/Wiltshire-housing-estate-built-in-shape-of-swastika.html

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1st world problems

  10. Khaptain Silver badge

    Road names

    Maybe that should be Prince Edward Road...

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Road names

      Prince Albert, surely?

      1. tirk
        Coat

        "Prince Albert"

        That's got a ring to it!

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: "Prince Albert"

          Ooops mixed up me Princes.....

          1. Simon Harris Silver badge

            Re: "Prince Albert"

            "Ooops mixed up me Princes....."

            and I thought you were just upholding the view that Edward was a bit of a dick!

  11. BongoJoe

    Hmm

    Must be rather chilly there....

    1. Spoonsinger
      Holmes

      Re: Must be rather chilly there....

      In the general population flaccid length isn't actually a good indicator of it's turgid length. Besides it seems to be mostly surrounded by bush so what's the problem?

      1. Don Jefe

        Re: Must be rather chilly there....

        That's just what they're trained to to tell you in Communicating Empathy 101 :)

      2. Mike Moyle Silver badge

        Re: Must be rather chilly there....

        Well, judging by the fact it appears that the road stops there, it looks like it's near the ass-end of nowhere.

      3. Simon Harris Silver badge

        Re: Must be rather chilly there....

        Think i'll get a Tardis tattooed onto my willy. Then if I get any complaints about the size, I'll just say it's bigger on the inside.

        1. MrDamage

          Bigger on the inside

          Will always translate to "smaller on the outside".

  12. Ilsa Loving

    If it was me...

    I'd call it a feature and put a price premium on the house.

  13. NukEvil

    "Who would want to live in the cul-de-sac that everyone is taking the mick out of?"

    Everyone, forever.

  14. Spiracle

    A possible solution...

    ... would be to re-develop the surrounding area on a Cerne Abbas Giant streetplan.

  15. Steve Knox
    Coffee/keyboard

    "Who would want to live in the cul-de-sac..."

    Indeed!

  16. stizzleswick
    Boffin

    City planners...

    ...must have been able to see this before the streets were even built--you don't need a satellite image to see the shape of this if you have a map--, so I will assume the responsible architect had a good chuckle when he drew up the plans for this development.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "According to the Telegraph, homeowner Carl Hodge said he and his neighbours had become "a laughing stock" following their exposure on the internet.

    He fretted: "I haven't heard of anyone moving out because of it but we are definitely worried it would put off potential buyers if we ever wanted to sell. Who would want to live in the cul-de-sac that everyone is taking the mick out of?""

    Has this man left school yet? This folly makes *him* the laughing stock!

    Quite apt he lives there.

    1. Montreal Sean

      He isn't worried about them taking the piss?

      That's a relief.

  18. The Jon

    End of George Road

    Should be renamed as The Bell House?

  19. Tsunamijuan

    I see this as a price increase not decrease

    Get a few hot female porn stars to move in there, since they tend to enjoy things of a phallic nature. once that happens The rest of the houses will go up in price once you let leak that they live there.

    Problem solved.

    I'll be here all week, with more horrible answers to 1st world problems.

  20. asdf Silver badge
    Mushroom

    can't resist

    Its bad enough living in the dreary UK in the first place but to live near an industrial park with a phallic shaped subdivision is just plain bad karma.

  21. bed

    Balls?

    Fitting somehow that those living in the testicular region have a golf course over the fence. I hope the planning people had some fun providing planning permission for the proposed erection.

  22. Azzy

    Either you guys have filthy minds, or I don't.

    I have to work to see the cock+balls there. The balls aren't really visible, and the cock is mishapen. I'm sure there are plenty of roads in the world that look way more like male genitalia.

    It's kinda short though - only 6 houses long. And the surroundings don't look all that nice, either. They really should have used condominiums, before putting it in there....

  23. Tromos
    Joke

    I'd like to apply...

    ...for an extension.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The ideal partner

    URL says it all

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/18/qatar-accidental-vagina-stadium-al-wakrah-world-cup-stadium

    NSFW for some meanings of safe and work

    1. Nigel 11

      Time to re-christen the local pub?

      There are lots of pubs called the World's end, because back when Jeremiahs were proclaiming the end of the world on an annual basis, the local reprobates would gather at the pub for one last drink before their eternal damnation. When that didn't happen, they had a few more drinks and renamed the pub.

      Anyway, after that ramble, I'd suggest that this estate's local be re-named the Cock and balls. With a perfectly clean pub sign, of course. And a Google maps reference.

      1. MrDamage
        Pint

        Re: Time to re-christen the local pub?

        Why not make everyone who drinks there buy a badge to join its exclusivity, and call it "The Members End"?

        1. Lamont Cranston

          Re: Time to re-christen the local pub?

          The Bell's End, shirley?

  25. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Go

    Hey, if they want to increase property values...

    They can put a new Qatari-style football stadium in that seemingly empty lot at the top of the picture.

  26. Montreal Sean

    it's a good thing...

    It's a good thing the estate at the tip of Georges Road doesn't have a fountain in the back yard.

    Actually, it would be better if it did. :)

  27. Martin H Watson

    Find out what cul-de-sac actually means...

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