back to article Lumia 1520: Our man screams into ENORMO new Nokia phondleslab

So we’re all Dom Joly now - shouting into gigantically oversized phones. Well, not everybody - but large devices have seen amazing sales increase in the 18 months, catapulting them out of the techie niche they’ve quietly inhabited for years. You can say phablet, we prefer “phondleslab”. Whatever they’re called, these pocket- …

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  1. TheProf

    What is it?

    Not quite pinned a name down yet have you?

    'You can say phablet, we prefer “phondleslab”.'

    Also called in the article:

    pocket-busters

    slab

    specialised device

    smartphone

    6-inch tablet.

    Maybe we could just call these things by their size. i.e. 5-inch phone, 8-inch tablet etc.

    1. BeerTokens

      Re: What is it?

      yep screen size followed by 'phone' if you can make calls from it and 'tablet' if you can't

      Simple.

    2. Arctic fox
      Happy

      @The Prof "What is it?"

      Personally I call them FEMPS. F***ing Enormous Mobile Phones. "Phablets" or Phondle-whatever just does not cut it for me.

      1. Squander Two

        Re: @The Prof "What is it?"

        A friend of mine calls them "wablets", a portmanteau of "Web" and "tablet". On the downside, it doesn't incorporate the word "phone"; on the up, it's a really funny word.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @The Prof "What is it?"

          For one this big, a portmanteau of "Web" and "plank" might be more appropriate.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Microsoft

      Microsoft went wrong with the Zune and now it's going wrong with the size of this Phone.

      There comes a time when bigger is not better and I think they have just hit it.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What is it?

      Personally, I think a product shot would be more useful to help "pin[ned] a name down" to this item over, simply, just a description.

      If pictures speak a thousand words, why bother trying to figure out what appellation is correct is we can simply decide for ourselves?

    5. Manu T

      Re: What is it?

      "You can say phablet, we prefer “phondleslab”.'

      Naah, what about craplet

  2. Dazed & Confused

    I wonder what this phone looks like?

  3. Dave 126

    I used to get authentication errors when trying to connect to the internet on older Samsung feature phones when the time and date were wildly incorrect (usually following a battery removal).... again, it wouldn't have hurt to put a 'Is your device showing the correct time and date?" prompt alongside the error message.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

    Why on God's earth do you need a Microsoft account to use Facebook and Twitter?

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      I read it more that you need a Microsoft account (e.g. app store account) in order to either download the apps, updates to the apps or to store the settings - which is much more explainable and even moderately sensible, compared to needing an MS account to access these services.

    2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      Why?

      Well how else will you be assimilated into the Microsoft Collective? A.K.A The Jedoon

    3. Mike Brown

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      Because its microsoft.

      THe same people that still wont allow you to drag and drop onto the task bar, even tho we've been trying to do it for years...

      1. APJ

        Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

        I can drag something onto the taskbar. If it's a shortcut it gets "pinned" automatically, if it's a document it pins the associated app and then adds the document as a pinned object in the jump list.

      2. MIc

        Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

        I just drags an icon onto the taskbar. What exactly are you saying you can't do? (running 8.1)

      3. t.est

        Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

        That's why you all should go OSX.

        But for me as an old macer, I can't stand the Dock or the taskbar, their functionality are so limited, and the designers have placed them wrong causing extra movements.

        MS was almost cracking how it should be made with Vista. Yes Vista had one good feature that it beat all other systems with. They had the bar where gadgets lived, this was perfect at what it did. The only good development with vista UI and they removed it in Win7.

        Instead they should have continued the development to make it replace the other stupidly designed user elements.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      Not exactly, you can access the website fine but the review said "out of the box".

      Microsoft allows you to link Google, Twitter, Facebook, etc accounts to your Microsoft account and Windows 8 and WP8 will display updates in your People Hub without the need of seperate apps or accessing the individual websites.

      If you can't add your Microsoft account during setup it can't pull through the linked accounts and the people's hub does not work "out of the box".

      As a side note you'd need a Microsoft/Google/Apple account to access the Facebook and Twitter apps on their respective platforms.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      You dont, its for the rather good live tile system (have a lumia 900) and unlike the mess that was the HTC aggregation thingy the WinPho implementaion isnt a total pain in the ass and is quite unobtrusive.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      Because Windows phone stores your facebook and twitter credentials in Microsoft servers and connects them to your hotmail account. Of course, you can trust Microsoft to not do anything untoward with your credentials...

    7. dogged

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      You don't - to use the Facebook and Twitter apps, poor as both are.

      You do if you want social media updates in your "People" feed, which bypasses the apps entirely (and can on occasion be quite useful).

      1. Squander Two

        Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

        The People hub is superb, in all honesty. I'm a complete Facebook addict, yet I've barely been anywhere near the Facebook site or app since I got a Lumia. Everything bar sharing can be done from the phone. Also, carriage returns in comments are no problem.

        I understand the Twitter integration is just as good, but I don't use it because Twitter is a monument to banality.

        1. sam bo
          Facepalm

          Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

          "I'm a complete Facebook addict,"

          " but I don't use it because Twitter is a monument to banality."

          Oh, the irony...it hurts .

          1. Squander Two

            "Oh, the irony...it hurts ." @ sam bo

            Facebook's what you make it. It's a blank slate. I understand a lot of people use it to say "Had spaghetti for dinner!" but none of those people seem to be my friends. We have a thoroughly interesting time on there. Twitter, on the other hand, by its very structure discourages interesting discussion and encourages me-too banality and the substitution of hashtags for wit.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      Because it's windows 8-ish.

      On any windows 8 device (phone, tablet, surface thing, laptop or [non corporate/enterprise] desktop ) it's quite difficult to make them do ANYTHING without a windows account to sign in with.

      Tis the future don'tcherknow. or something.

      1. RyokuMas
        Trollface

        Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

        "Tis the future don'tcherknow. or something."

        Like Google trying to force G+ requirements to comment on pootube?

    9. jason 7

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      I have to admit this trend of having to have successive accounts to access material is getting very tiresome. I'm thinking of just abandoning several of them.

    10. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

      For the same reason you need one to run Windows 8.1.

      Actually if you don't want to open an MS account then you will find the option buried at the bottom of the create account page, obscure enough to make most people stick in their Hotmail address to carry on installing. I imagine the option to not use an MS account will disappear by Windows 8.2.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Microsoft account needed for Facebook? ??

        "to not use an MS account will disappear by Windows 8.2."

        I hope that by then Microsoft disappear altogether.

        They're already filthy rich, it's time for someone else to fill his/her pockets.

  5. Rog Reg
    Alert

    High ISO shots

    Are the two high ISO tube shots labelled correctly? The shot on the right clearly has much more noise than the one on the left, but they're currently labelled as the left being the higher ISO shot. Either the label's wrong, or the high ISO noise reduction is simply miraculous!

  6. Danny 14

    WTF?

    "A lanyard strap would have helped."

    Jebus, a lanyard on a phone?

  7. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Clutter

    For the first time, I found the screen to look busy or cluttered - the ability to add “spacers” would be welcome.

    That's certainly my impression to. Certainly not helped by the colour scheme. The research has been done on how much you can comfortably take in at once and that must be the basis for GUI, folders, drawers, whatever would help but, as you say, little chance of anything like that coming soon. Can't see people swapping their Note 3's for this.

    1. Squander Two

      Re: Clutter

      I have loads of spaces between tiles on my WP7 Lumia. No spacers per se; just leave a gap between tiles and it stays there. Leave an entire empty row and the UI shifts the tiles up to fill it (which I think is fair enough), but any other gap it accepts quite happily.

  8. Bill Neal

    HELLO?

    HELLO!

    YEAH I GOT A NEW WINPHONE!

    NO IT'S RUBBISH!

    YEAH RUBBISH MATE!

    CIAO!

    I kinda miss trigger happy TV. I should go download it.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: HELLO?

      There you go...

      http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=83f_1323799141

  9. garcon

    Oh no - what happened to windows phone?

    The original windows phone 7 interface was simple and slick. It was even radical.

    When one changed the theme colour all the tiles would adopt the new theme colour. Now the trend is for developers to 'fix' the colour of their app tile, probably to create some differentiation.

    The very large screen of the 1520 accommodates a lot of custom coloured tiles. The result is Windows Phone CLOWN PANTS.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: Oh no - what happened to windows phone?

      Windows Phone: Designed by clowns

    2. hoverboy

      Re: Oh no - what happened to windows phone?

      I'm a WinPhone fanboi but this bugs me too. The worst offender is NOKIA, who choose different colours for their various apps depending on function (e.g. all the location apps are blue, the photo apps purple) I keep my start screen organised with 'pure' MS apps at the top so I can keep a nice steel grey theme. Below that multicoloured hell breaks loose! This minor gripe aside, you'd still have to put a gun to my head to make me go back to Android or iPhone (I've had both)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear

    " (50pc of original size)"

    At 1/4 of it's original size (50% reduction horizontal, 50% reduction vertical) every photo from every smartphone looks good. Even the crappy ones.

    "beware: the AT&T edition has only 16GB onboard."

    Here we go again. Can we PLEASE have equality for ALL consumers, goddamned!

    Why all this crap different devices for different telco's. At least Apple doesn't fall for this shit!

    THIS:

    "The 1520 refused to allow me to either create a new Microsoft account, or access a valid Microsoft account. Without one you can’t use Facebook or Twitter "

    Coupled with THIS:

    "It’s not a bug that should be there at all, but the lack of an accurate diagnosis from Microsoft will trip up even experienced users..."

    Shows exactly what's wrong with Windows Phone/Microsoft and why "experienced" users don't want it! Period!

    "Of all those Lumias, the 720 is my personal favourite."

    Well, off all those Lumias, NONE is my personal favourite. I think they're all crap, I'd preferred if Nokia held on with Harmattan instead :-(

    "Since you didn't ask. But I'll tell you anyway."

    > :->

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Oh dear

      Why all this crap different devices for different telco's.

      Less on-board memory = more bandwidth sold, or so the 'thinking' goes at AT&T.

  11. Schultz

    "it felt like it would slip out of my hand"

    It clearly needs a handle. Or a proper Telefonhoerer (didn't find a proper English word for it).

  12. Maryland, USA

    Still pocketable

    If a phablet is no wider than 86mm, It can slip into a man's standard shirtpocket. The 1520 measures 162.8 x 85.4 x 8.7 mm, so it's pocketable. In fact, so is Huawei's Ascend Mate, which sports a 6.1-inch screen.

  13. Geoffrey W

    Photo?

    Not even one photo of the thing so we can judge just how enormous it is?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Photo?

      Maybe Orlowski forgot to take his wide angle lens?

    2. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Photo?

      You wish is my command.

      C.

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