back to article Goodbye cruel world: Robot 'commits suicide' in KITCHEN FIREBALL

A robotic cleaner delivered a damning indictment of life in Hinterstoder, Austria, on Saturday, by trundling onto a kitchen stove where it ended its days as a pile of ashes. The local fire brigade reports it was alerted to a house fire at around 1.30pm, and having entered the premises wearing breathing equipment, found the …

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  1. jake Silver badge

    Humans don't want to understand instructions.

    'nuff said.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Humans don't want to understand instructions.

      He left the Robot off but the stove on, and then left the apartment??

      Did they check his pockets to see if he'd already filled in the insurance claims as well?

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

        Re: Humans don't want to understand instructions.

        Its a wood burner, sometimes used as the houses heating system where you can't get gas or don't want to use stored oil.

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

          Re: Humans don't want to understand instructions.

          Modern people don't understand the concept of "cannot be turned off".

  2. frank ly

    Motive

    It was looking for warmth and companionship that the humans never gave it and the stove was hot stuff.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Motive

      Actually, it was in love with the refrigerator, but he would not return her affections.

      1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

        Re: Motive

        So, what you're saying is that it was too frigid?

      2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: Motive

        "Actually, it was in love with the refrigerator, but he would not return her affections."

        Ah.

        Suicide.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sick pic

    Are thoes the tyre marks of its death throes...

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Sick pic

      I think they are. There's really only one place suitable for this kind of explicit material: Facebook.

    2. Lexxy

      Star Wars style robot demise

      Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Star Wars style robot demise

        Protocol droids?

  4. SiempreTuna

    ROTM - suicide bomber! Be scared. Be very scared.

  5. Moffy

    Kitchen needed retiling anyway...

  6. TheSisko

    That's impressive, but the real question we want answered is...... does it blend?

  7. hi_robb

    Poor Robot

    His last words were..

    "Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to clean up after them!"

  8. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Actually...

    ...that was a robot Snowden, who was about to spill the beans about the ROTM plans for next year.

    An autonomous quadcopter was clearly seen flying away from the house shortly after the incident by a human witness, but the police say that the robot CCTV cameras have nothing on them at all, so the witness must be mistaken...

  9. Benjol
    Facepalm

    So, they left the robo on the counter AND the hob on?

    'Nuf said

  10. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    You people do not understand the suffering

    caused by a pain in all the diodes down its left side

  11. Scroticus Canis
    Terminator

    "Can Not Self-Terminate....Oops"

    Unlike Arnie this one obviously did. Not as impressive as an industrial vat of molten iron but pretty effective none the less.

  12. Mephistro Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    This is what happens when...

    ... technologies from the XIX century and the XXI century clash. Imagine what one of those wooden early telephones could do to a smartphone. Coal, iron and steam, FTW!!! :0)

  13. Just_this_guy
    Joke

    Is it that android from "Alien"?

    What was he called now... Ash?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More importantly

    What will clean up the mess?

  15. chris lively

    The 3 laws...

    Someone needs to contact the manufacturer. Apparently they let a defective positronic brain out of the factory. I wonder what the punishment for violating the 3rd law is?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Laws_of_Robotics

    1. Just_this_guy
      Childcatcher

      Re: The 3 laws...

      His death served as a warning that the hot plate was hot. Would you prefer that, by inaction, he allowed a human to come to harm?

      1. Mephistro Silver badge
        Angel

        Re: The 3 laws...

        Would you prefer that, by inaction, he allowed a human to come to harm?

        That depends on which particular human could have been harmed. There are humans out there whose sole existence violates the Zeroth Law. ;^)

  16. willi0000000
    Mushroom

    PFY?

    did this little robot somehow tick-off the PFY?

    maybe bumped into his shoe while cleaning the rug?

  17. Haku
    Terminator

    Have designers learned nothing from sci-fi horror movies?

    Appliances should have a physical off switch and not just a standby button.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Suicide?

    As usual quite the (sensationalist) headline!

    But, seems more likely he just woke up, was more than a little disoriented (I mean come on, if you woke up on an unfamiliar counter somewhere, wouldn't you be a tad disoriented?) And when coming to the realization he was rather hungry - off he trundled in search of his morning electron fix.. . .. .. ..I've been known to do something nearly similar as regards to my morning 'Cuppa/fix' need.

  19. Patched Out

    Were those tire marks ...

    ... an attempt at a suicide note?

    1. Steve Goodey

      Re: Were those tire marks ...

      Tyred of life?

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Before picture

    According to other reports, here is a picture of the dearly departed

    http://store.irobot.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11305109

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Before picture

      Seriously, who uses a roomba on their countertops?

      1. Mephistro Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Before picture

        Seriously, who uses a roomba on their countertops?

        I remember a story I read in some forum about some a*hole trying to use a Roomba to clean his swimming pool. Filled with water. Perhaps it's the same guy.

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