back to article Cops: Bloke makes bet with wife. Wife loses - so hubby TASERS her

A Chicago Bears fan was cuffed on Monday night after allegedly giving his missus a right royal tasering - purportedly the result of a bet that the Illinois team would prevail over the Green Bay Packers. According to the police report, 42-year-old John Grant and his wife Nicole - a Packers fan - were watching the two teams …

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  1. Martin Budden Bronze badge

    Domestic battery with a domestic battery?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If

      She had consented to have been shot by a .357 magnum or assault rifle?

      That would have been ok, he had a licence for those.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: If

        But a taser isn't a 357 Magnum. Aren't they classed as non-lethal weapons? I know there's some debate on the safety of the things, but they must be regarded as pretty safe, because there used to be a rule in the British police that you couldn't be issued with one, until you'd been stunned with it. It was part of the training. Don't know if that's still the case. But the lawyers in workplace health and safety would definitely have something to say if they tried that rule on the firearms officers...

      2. xperroni
        Facepalm

        Re: If

        That would have been ok, he had a licence for those.

        From which we should conclude it's OK to use a taser, so long as you don't have one?

      3. Killraven

        Re: If

        No. Because, in most places, it's perfectly fine to give somebody permission to hurt you. But in very few places can you give permission to kill you. Most places also make it illegal to discharge firearms in urban areas.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: If

          No actually it isn't, at least in the UK. You can not consent to, say, BDSM activities which result you getting assaulted or worse. The police, at least the sensible old fashioned non-target driven ones, will quickly decide its way more hassle than its worth if they catch you using, say, an electric dog collar on your partner.

          The more officious ones will try and charge you, then try to persuade your partner you are abusing her and really go to town to try and make your life difficult. Even if their older more experienced colleagues suggest to them a telling off and a 'don't let us catch you doing this in public again' speech. They will threaten you with the sex offenders register and try to get you to give them your phone unlock code.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: If

            I don't get that, surely it is a violation to your Human rights for the police to interfere with your sex life?

            That is the problem with our Law, sometimes laws brought in to protect people forget to add in exceptions to allow people to live their lives..... And for one other thing, all fixed penalty rules MUST be revoked, the police should always be able to use their judgement and unless the victim wants to prosecute, they should respect the victims wishes.

          2. Old Handle

            Re: If

            My understanding is police normally have to experience being tased as part of their training with the weapon, so they really wouldn't have a leg to stand on if they claimed you couldn't consent to it.

          3. Killraven

            Re: If

            Except that this story takes place in America.

        2. Jim 59

          Taser = torture

          Talk of taser being "non-lethal". True, but like some other non-lethal acts, it qualifies as torture especially if repeated as in this case, even if it leaves no lasting injury.

    2. Graham Marsden
      Coat

      "a domestic battery charge"

      Presumably a re-chargeable battery...

    3. TheOtherHobbes

      "Domestic battery with a domestic battery?"

      It's on the charge sheet.

      1. dssf

        NaCl/LiOn

        Next time, he'll compel her to put into writing that it is ok to instead pummel her with boxes of Morton Salt and dozens of packages of Energizers.

        It truly WOULD be "a salt and battery" charges, but at least it won't be an electrical device if the components have no capacity for capacitance.

        A side benefit of gettting her to agree in writing is that she will will be charged each time she resists a rest.

        Now, if she decides to engage in a bit of variance with variants, she can shove in series some of those batteries and a bit of salt and give his a$$ some TRUE END DUCT ANTS, hahahha. Or would one of them face CON DUCT Dance?

        Butt, that would lead to a leaded case of serous and serious co-deep-end-dance as one or both of them waddle to emerge intsy room to undergo pre-discharge procedures.

        Ba da bing... Bzzzzt....

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That explains it

    First I was all wtf ? And then:-

    '....he agreed to allow cops to search the nearby truck where the pair were living...'

    and all was right with the world again.

  3. Khaptain Silver badge
    Joke

    Ever increasing standards

    How do you increase the intellegence of the average American familly ?

    Buy them a dog.

    1. LarsG

      Re: Ever increasing standards

      That's insulting the dog.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ever increasing standards

        "LarsG - That's insulting the dog."

        No it isn't, there's no possible way that could be interpreted as an insult to the dog, unless the dog prides itself on bringing down the general intelligence of a household simply by moving in.

      2. disgruntled yank Silver badge

        Re: Ever increasing standards

        Well, then, if you are satisfied with making them look more intelligent, move an English family in next door. No dogs harmed or insulted, and the Americans suddenly look like the old Bell Labs.

    2. Jemma Silver badge

      Re: Ever increasing standards

      please don't buy them a dog!!

      went to Ohio, lovely friendly Staffordshire terrier, and two five year old girls. All of three foot nowt, and had no idea about dogs. parents similarly inept - the house was dogcrap alley!

      I had to yell at the dog several times when it jumped on the girls - parents didn't see the problem, and the poor animal hated crapping in the house - against its training.. but no one would take him out.

      Trigger did have one use, it was because of his behaviour to one of the girls I suspected abuse. Turned out she'd been raped by her dad for 4 years & has HPV now. That was bad enough, but if we hadn't have realised it could have gotten worlds worse...

      1. Anonymous Coward 101

        Re: Ever increasing standards

        "Trigger did have one use, it was because of his behaviour to one of the girls I suspected abuse."

        What the fuck?

        1. Jemma Silver badge

          Re: Ever increasing standards

          An ex gf of mine was partial to her Labrador (in the biblical sense) - when you peer over the back of a chair and see a kid of 5 doing exactly the same thing - its pretty much a given that something somewhere is not entirely kosher.

          I am not going to say any more since the details are somewhat cringeworthy (unless you are a member of PETA ironically)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ever increasing standards

      Increase it even further...

      ...give the dog a bone.

      1. MrDamage
        Coat

        Re: Ever increasing standards

        Old mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard, to give her poor doggy a bone.

        But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.

        ...I'll get my coat.

  4. jake Silver badge

    Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

    ... trash is trash, the world 'round.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

      Yes, and as we all know, America produces more trash per capita than anywhere else in the world.

      1. Titus Technophobe

        Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

        Dammit Jake was going to suggest that one. Mind even you have to admit that the US does have a fine selection of very special needs game show contestants for Jeremy Kyle …….

      2. Jamie Jones Silver badge
        WTF?

        Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

        " Yes, and as we all know, America produces more trash per capita than anywhere else in the world."

        You haven't seen the Jeremy Kyle show then?

        1. Maharg

          Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

          "You haven't seen the Jeremy Kyle show then?"

          Yes I (unfortunately) have, I am also aware that US version of the Jeremy Kyle show was cancelled, because it was a bit ‘tame’.

          1. Colin Miller

            Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

            Talking about Mr Kyle, a warring wife ran over her husband (and his father) with her campervan, after appearing on the show to 'help resolve their issues'.

            1. Ted Treen
              Coat

              Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

              "...a warring wife ran over her husband (and his father) with her camper van..."

              Obviously not an intent...

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

            ------- Yes I (unfortunately) have, I am also aware that US version of the Jeremy Kyle show was cancelled, because it was a bit ‘tame’.

            It was cancelled due to low ratings. If you feel better spouting bull, then fine

        2. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

          Isn't Jeremy Kyle a spinofff form the Jerry Springer kind of shows..

      3. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

        "....America produces more trash per capita than anywhere else in the world." I would suggest it is more accurate that the States produces more poor trash with the economic opportunities to afford Tasers and the like, compared to most of Europe, where the trash are just poor. Personally, I'm more impressed by the trash-with-cash than the trash living in the PIIGs.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

          Matt, you ain't been to a run down UK council estate recently I take it?

          They all have new cars, premium satellite TV and 3+ holidays per year.

          Incidently, that comment from you surprises me. I thought you were all about how us commie europeans give the hard earned money of good people to benefit scroungers.., and "screw the poor" like the good ole usa does!

          Maybe I have you mixed up with another yank.

          1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

            "Matt, you ain't been to a run down UK council estate recently I take it?...." I do drive through certain areas of London, Leeds, or Manchester with the car doors locked. Strangely enough, I see less trouble in the poorest areas like the North East than I do in London. There are areas of Paris, Madrid or Rome I would not take my weekend car to as it would be a crime magnet.

            "....They all have new cars....." Hmmmm. I would suggest you take a peek at some more of those areas. Anything really brand new parked outside in areas like Brent in London is not going to last longer than a few hours intact or unstolen.

            ".....premium satellite TV and 3+ holidays per year....." I have worked on schemes for kids from deprived areas and many of them had never even left their home cities, let alone taken a holiday. The majority of them did have Sky and a games console of some type though. The strange bit was their expectation to such luxury items, as though it was a "right" to be able to play Halo and watch repeats of Friends but expect others to pay for it.

            "....I thought you were all about how us commie europeans give the hard earned money of good people to benefit scroungers...." Not just that but the money you waste on desperate attempts to control the economy, essentially trying to make it stand still, because the thing you lot REALLY hate is the lack of control.

            "....Maybe I have you mixed up with another yank." Yank? Ah, that's just your preconceptions showing you up again.

            1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

              Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

              Nice reply Matt. (no sarcasm intended)

              And yes, I've witnessed first hand the expectation of Sky etc. as a right!

              One query - I realise the way 'anon' phrased it was antagonistic, but is the term 'yank' considered offensive?

              I know that yank(ie) actually refers to the stereotypical Southern (USA) American, but it's generally used outside America to mean an American, and I thought with as much offensiveness as you calling us 'Brits'

              Does our use of 'Yank' imply ignorance and insult to you?

              Cheers, J.

              1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
                Facepalm

                Re: Jamie Jones Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

                ".....Does our use of 'Yank' imply ignorance and insult to you?....." No, it simply means you didn't do your research. I have made it clear in any number of posts that I am English and living in the UK. It also provides evidence of your very limited circle of friends in that you assume anyone that doesn't share your socio-political PoV must be a foreigner. I suggest you need to get out more.

                1. Jamie Jones Silver badge
                  Flame

                  Re: Jamie Jones Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

                  Woah there!

                  I was just following up on anons assumption, in what was a polite post.

                  But as you say, there are obnoxious twats like you all over the world.

                  Still, apologies for not knowing all-things-Matt - how stupid of me to not have read and remembered every bloody post your Highness has made. No doubt, I need to get out more(!)

                  Anyway, in my El Reg postings, I've mentioned where I live, where I've lived, a few of my personal domains, and even my main email address - I wouldn't expect anyone here to know any of this. Obviously you know it -if not, is that because I'm not as important as you?

    2. Velv Silver badge

      Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

      Very true, however the rest of the world does not enshrine the right of its trash to bear arms or arm bears or do whatever the hell it wants.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

        "Very true, however the rest of the world does not enshrine the right of its trash to bear arms or arm bears "

        The tragedy is that the founding fathers merely intended to permit gentlemen to roll up their sleeves. Due to an unwitting spelling error they guaranteed two hundred years of fire-arm touting chaos.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

          Even more to the point, the Founding Fathers only intended gentlemen to be allowed guns. They were expensive and beyond the reach of ordinary people at the time, so the "well regulated militia" would have consisted of landowners.

          The motto of the USA really should be "Gerroff moi land".

          1. Mark C 2

            Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

            Correction, the Founding Fathers only intended white, male, gentlemen landowners to be allowed guns, or to vote. Strange they keep amending the US Constitution to make it less racist, less sexist, protect freedom of speech etc. but not to remove automatic weapons from the civilian population.

            WTF did those Brits (Founding Fathers) know about modern US society - very little to nothing.

      2. xperroni
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

        Very true, however the rest of the world does not enshrine the right of its trash to bear arms (...)

        Which got me thinking: could the rednecks be convinced that firearms are for sissies, and "real men" only own electric taser guns?

      3. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Velv Re: Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

        "....the rest of the world does not enshrine the right of its trash to bear arms...." Obviously your limited Worldy experience means you haven't "enjoyed" the Fwench, Spanish or Greek countryside during hunting season.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Velv Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

          I hunt in the French country side, I have also hunted in the States.

          In France you don't get to keep your rifle on public display after the hunt is finished. *cough* *cough* Rifle Racks + Rednecks *cough* *cough*

          The yanks have much nicer 4*4s though...

          To tell the truth, the hunters were/are some of the most down to earth people that I know.

          1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
            Boffin

            Re: AC Re: Velv Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

            "....To tell the truth, the hunters were/are some of the most down to earth people that I know." Right after 9-11 I was in North Texas and I remember a quote from a gun-toting local that the majority of the posters here would label a "redneck". With quite amazing prescience he said; "If we invade Afghanistan, even when we win, there will be no-one thanking us for doing the job."

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Velv Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

            In Sweden they will shoot anything, moving or not. One does notice that the native Swedes are always wearing high-visibility clothing when out in the forest, not that it is any guarantee - a bloke might get capped taking a dump on his own toilet!

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Velv Before anybody suggests it is confined to the US ...

              Lol the thread went from Americans Numpties to a guy having a crap in a Swedish forest.

              Gotta luv them thar interwebs....... ( Spoken with toothless half-drunk redneck accent)...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can't win them all

    She survived, so no Darwin award.

  6. localzuk Silver badge

    Only one word for this behaviour...

    Shocking!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe

    The Rampant Rabbit no longer hit the spot, so to speak.

  8. Richard Scratcher
  9. bigtimehustler

    She should have been arrested for wasting police time, if i consent to you punching me, then call the police, im wasting police time essentially. Seeing as such a weapon is non lethal, the same holds true, if you don't want it, don't consent to it.

    1. Don Jefe

      I agree. The trashiest part of this whole thing was that she called the police after agreeing to the bargain. Honor has gone the way of the dodo it seems.

      Anyway, they showed the 'electric weapon' on the news this morning, it's not a real Taser, it's one of those stupid novelty 'stun guns' that you can buy at any flea market or truck stop for ~$24.99. It hardly qualifies as a weapon.

      The lesson in all this is that if you're going to Tase someone, do it with an actual Taser. Otherwise they'll either call the cops on you or beat the ever loving shit out of you.

    2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: bigtimehustler

      "She should have been arrested for wasting police time, if i consent to you punching me, then call the police, im wasting police time essentially......" She may have consented to being Tasered ONCE, but it appears the hubbie got carried away and shocked her three times. I have seen a rampaging, 6'2" rugby player go real quiet after a single Taser shock, so I can't see a housewife asking for a second dose. I would suggest the wife was very clear in saying she did not want to be shocked again after the first effort. If hubbie administered the second or third shocks after she had said "no", effectively withdrawing her consent to the action, then it's assault, even if she originally agreed to taking three shocks, so the call to the cops was justified.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      So as she consented initially, she shouldn't be able to withdraw that consent once the consequences of what she'd consented to were made oh so clear after the first tasering? Really? Make a good defence for a sexual assault case, NOT.

  10. bpfh Silver badge
    FAIL

    Probably not a taser...

    I don't thing that she'd be laughing after getting hit by multiple darts and blasted... so sounds more like a cheap stun gun.

    Come on El Reg, please get your technical facts right...

  11. i like crisps
    Pint

    'A FAMILY THAT TASERS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER'

    Can really see this catching on over here.

  12. adam payne Silver badge
    Coat

    Shocking! Sorry i'll get my coat.

  13. Zot

    That's how these hicks get immune to it.

    They keep tasering each other until it has no affect on them, making the police tasers useless.

    They're really THAT clever, it's amazing! :)

  14. Arthur 1

    Shouldn't count anyway

    Who can say they predicted that result? All bets should be off when you need a freak QB injury to be right. Bears fans are so delusional.

  15. ausnerd
    Joke

    Why do Bears have flat feet?

    From jumping on the Packers.

  16. Amorous Cowherder
    Facepalm

    Consent?

    Both a pair of fecking eejits!

  17. wollo

    Bears fans are not normally prone to violence 'cos the Bears never beat anyone.

    I imagine her saying "On the butt-ox, sir", in just that same accent.

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