back to article Assange fails in bid for election to Australian Senate

Wikileaker-in-Chief Julian Assange's campaign to win a seat in Australia's Senate has almost certainly failed, with the Wikileaks party securing just 0.62 per cent of the nine million votes counted in the nation's election. Assange has done a little better in the State of Victoria, with his party picking up a little over 25, …

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  1. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Mephistro Silver badge

    "a home for dozens of animatronic dinosaurs."

    As long as it's only dinosaurs, and not dinosaurs mixed with biblical figures, I'm OK with it. ;^)

    1. Big-nosed Pengie

      "As long as it's only dinosaurs, and not dinosaurs mixed with biblical figures, I'm OK with it. ;^)"

      Palmer may be a multibillionaire far right loony, but he's not completely barking mad.

    2. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge

      FFS!

      Imagine having Noah part a sea of dinosaurs to let his people through on a replica of the titanic on wheels!

      Now that would be worth the price of admission. :-P

      Having said that... maybe he's trying to evolve into West World?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    In the United States we already have a home for dozens of animatronic dinosaurs. It's called "The House Of Representatives".

  4. AnotherBird

    A small miracle.

    Julian Assange was hoping for a small miracle in both getting a seat, and being able to return to Australia without being arrested. Conventional wisdom states that Assange can not legally sit in the senate with his legal problems. Also, that such legal problems end political careers.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Cliff

      Re: A small miracle.

      He was. He failed. His motivations were impure and selfish, this is not the grounds for public life and getting people to view for your integrity.

      Australians aren't stupid.

      1. M Gale

        Re: A small miracle.

        His motivations were impure and selfish, this is not the grounds for public life...

        Publically impure and selfish, shurely?

        What, me? Cynical?

    3. Lars
      Happy

      Re: A small miracle.

      Who wants to change a sofa for a seat, anyway.

      1. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Lars Re: A small miracle.

        "Who wants to change a sofa for a seat, anyway." A$$nut, obviously, seeing as the sofa comes with no out-door walks and limited opportunities for ego-stroking chats how appearances.

    4. LaeMing Silver badge

      Re: A small miracle.

      There are better whistle-blower organisations than WikiLeaks (they just have a low profile, which is probably a result of their higher integrity). I'd have voted for one of their people any election, but a representative of WikiCircus? Not likely.

  5. poopypants

    Makes me proud

    "it appears this system may result in a candidate from the Australian Motoring Enthusiast Party winning a seat"

    Finally, a genuine representative of the proletariat.

    1. Steve Brooks

      Re: Makes me proud

      Yeah right. from their policies; "We will not support legislation or public debate that is divisive or disrespectful." So we are going to suppress discussion on issues we don't agree with. The entire point of democracy is that you don't suppress discussion. And also who decides if it is divisive or disprespectful?

      And; "Hurts the Australian way of life or penalises the law abiding for the sake of the irresponsible minority, thus making life harder for average Australian families or takes away the right to a “fair go” That's going to be a hard one, who decides what the average australian family is, and if they aren't average does that mean it's fine to pick on them for the benefit of the priveleged "average"? They do realise that almost nothing is at that point don't they, that average's are simply the midpoints of a possibly vast range of possibilities.

      Should I also point out that some preferences from said party are directed to One Nation and Pauline Hanson, and as a result these minor party preferneces Pauline Hanson is now a senator, dog save australia, the queen certainly can't.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Makes me proud

        Pauline would at least make a better Senator than Assange or the Christian Democratic Party. Which says a lot about the current crop of Senate candidates

      2. poopypants

        Re: Makes me proud

        It was a joke, Steve. I guess it's my fault for not using the joke icon. My bad. Also, I think you take politics way too seriously, but that's a whole different issue.

      3. Vociferous

        Re: Makes me proud

        He didn't say that the party's agenda was good or responsible or even sane. He said it was a good representative of the australian working class. Which it may well be.

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          Dammit

          So the revheads get a seat but those of us who prefer to keep our recreational activities indoors are left out in the cold.

  6. jake Silver badge

    Gee, you think?

    Making changes in governmental policy doesn't work when the messenger is clearly deluded.

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: Gee, you think?

      I'm not sure that's a valid statement; based only on observation of other Western policy makers. All my evidence is anecdotal though, so I could be wrong.

      I'm going to go with my gut though and say that delusional people making and changing government policy is more the standard than the exception for the last 40 years or so anyway.

      1. ChrisM

        Re: Gee, you think?

        You mean that we haven't been led by the best and brightest minds of our generation? Thanks for shattering that illusion :(

    2. Graham Marsden
      WTF?

      @jake - Re: Gee, you think?

      Have you *looked* at the people who are being elected to office in the US or the UK or several other countries too?!

      They're not just deluded, some of them are bat-shit crazy!

      And you don't get a choice of candidate, you just get whoever the other nutcases tell you you're getting because they think the same way...

  7. RealFred

    The best thing to Come out of the election

    Is that Assange didn't get a seat. He is a self serving egotistical moron who believes that everyone's private information (except his) is fair game. He wants the whole world to be run as he would like it. We just got rid of one egotistical moron in government. We don't need to replace him with another.

    1. Vociferous

      Re: The best thing to Come out of the election

      Assange appears to be a perfect textbook sociopath, you can just tick off traits from egomania and lack of empathy to sexual promiscuity and mythomania.

      1. Richard 26

        Re: The best thing to Come out of the election

        So, ideally suited for a career in politics, then?

        1. Vociferous

          Re: The best thing to Come out of the election

          Well, being a sociopath certainly hasn't hurt Newt Gingrich's career, that much is for sure.

        2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: Richard 26 Re: The best thing to Come out of the election

          "So, ideally suited for a career in politics, then?" Not really as the key skill required is the ability to hide your flaws, not parade them out for all (voters) to see.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The best thing to Come out of the election

      Do ya think that like Cameron he got the message? ;-)

    3. A J

      Re: The best thing to Come out of the election

      I think we just did replace one egotistical moron with another.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Didn't matter who we voted for

    A politician still got the seat…

    As for Wikileaks, did look for them, didn't see them anywhere on the Queensland senate paper.

  9. graeme leggett

    interesting system - have I found a flaw?

    "Once a candidate gains that “quota” of votes, any other votes for that candidate pass to a voter's second preference"

    I interpret this to mean that it must be important/significant in which order ballot papers are counted.

    You could have one area within the state where a minor candidate has very strong support and the majority of the second votes are for this person.

    If the papers from this area is counted first, then the voters first preferences are used up electing the major parties candidates.

    If however they are counted later, once the major party candidates have gained sufficient votes, then all these second preferences would be effective for this minor candidate.

    I presume the relatively low requirement of a 1/6th of votes, a wide spread of voter opinions and compulsory voting make a scenario unlikely but would it be possible to game the system?

    1. Tom 260

      Re: interesting system - have I found a flaw?

      I think (not an aussie here, so going by articles I've read in recent weeks) the second preference is determined by the candidate/party, hence why the Wikileaks party doesn't have much chance of a seat, as they don't appear to have any deals with other parties to gain their second preference votes.

    2. DavCrav Silver badge

      Re: interesting system - have I found a flaw?

      ""Once a candidate gains that “quota” of votes, any other votes for that candidate pass to a voter's second preference"

      I interpret this to mean that it must be important/significant in which order ballot papers are counted."

      This isn't how it works. How STV works is that, for example, say you have five seats and a million votes, so you need 200000 to win a seat. If no candidate has more than 200k then the person with fewest votes is eliminated and their votes are transferred, either by candidate's choice or why voter preference (ordering the candidates 1 to n). This continues until someone gets 200000 votes. Then, if they have (say) 250k votes, 200k of those are used to win, and the "excess" 50000 are distributed to other parties. How this is done is either candidate's choice or by taking the preferences of all voters and dividing by 5, i.e., 50000/250000. Play continues.

  10. Def Silver badge

    "to build an exact replica of the Titanic"

    Presumably what he really means is an exact replica before it sank.

    1. Fink-Nottle

      Re: "to build an exact replica of the Titanic"

      > an exact replica

      That's also the aim of the Australian Tautology Party of Australia as well, too.

      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        Re: "to build an exact replica of the Titanic"

        Not really. Diesel engines and a full complement of lifeboats is pushing the definition of 'exact'. I think 'loose replica' is more correct.

  11. Jay 2

    I think Assange would need a damn sight more luck/help than a political position in Oz to get himself out of his own self-inflicted predicament. One way or another he's going to face some time inside another institution the second he steps foot out of that embassy. And this time round I don't think there will be many people lifting a finger to help him.

    Maybe if we just treat his current stay like the recent Channel 5 series of Big Brother; ignored by most people (and the media), to which the usual refrain is "Is that still going?". Might give him a bit of a clue if it didn't make the news every time he farted or something.

    1. Vociferous

      Anonymous is still his private army...

      ...so I don't think there's much chance of him being ignored.

      1. Don Jefe

        Re: Anonymous is still his private army...

        If Anonymous had anything remotely resembling a hierarchical leadership structure (or any organizational structure whatsoever) they might be something significant. But they don't, so they're not.

        The very thing that gives Anonymous any kind of 'power' (loosely defined) is the very thing that prevents them from ever being more than a minor thorn in the backside of their enemy of the hour.

        If you put 100 Anonymous members in a room with unlocked doors and a mission to leave the room, 75 of them would pull out their cocks and/or shit on the floor and forget to leave. Twenty of them would try to block the exits, three of them would be trying to figure out who just shit on their shoes and the other two would leave during the confusion, but only because they got bored, not because they were supposed to be leaving.

        I think that's the way they like it too. They can play or not play as their wishes dictate. That's fine, but it limits the extent of their reach and power.

        1. Vociferous

          Re: Anonymous is still his private army...

          Oh Eff Off.

          The Anonymous of old, the one you talk about, the one which spent its days IRL harassing tween girls and people who were mean to cats, "for teh lulz", doesn't exist any more. What exists today is Assange's Private Army, consisting of equal parts libertarian conspiracy nuts and undercover law enforcement agents pretending to be libertarian conspiracy nuts.

          1. Don Jefe
            Happy

            Re: Anonymous is still his private army...

            I take back what I said earlier: 40 of them would be blocking the exits, 40 of them would be trying figure out if it was a setup and twenty of them would be making investigation and arrest lists.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Can you tell what it is yet?" ;-)

  12. returnmyjedi

    Regardless of Wikileaks' mission for freedom of information...

    ...Asange still comes across as an egotistical prick, like a Michael Moore 2.0

  13. Bryn Smith

    small correction

    In a half senate election, the quota for electing 6 members is actually one-seventh of the vote cast. (Similar to the quota required for electing one member for a lower house seat is one-half of the vote cast.)

  14. moiety

    Call me naive, but I thought the "brick with eyes" was going to be an actual brick with some googly eyes stuck to it. Stupider things have been elected, after all. And it makes so much sense: after a long and scandal-free career (hard to get up to the usual politician shenanigans if you're a brick); the brick could retire by way of being used to build cells for the other politicians. Brick is a national hero and Australia would be that much better off...not least because bricks don't have much in the way of expenses.

    I read the story, but still prefer my version. Maybe next election...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      "an actual brick with some googly eyes"

      Just as well that wasn't the case; far as I can tell, the last thing we need is for more of Google's eyes to be looking at us.

    2. Allonymous Coward

      The Chair recognises the Rt. Hon. Tub of Lard MP

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kmys4LH9jTE

  15. bag o' spanners
    Pint

    Once more with feeling

    Having seen the goof reels from the electioneering, I think it's pretty much business as usual in Oz.

    No matter who you vote for, a self-centred arsehole always gets elected.

    1. MrDamage
      Joke

      Re: Once more with feeling

      Until some by the name of Sidebottom gets elected, then it will always be a self centred arsehole who gets in.

  16. Arachnoid

    And I thought

    English Politics was weird at times but these Aussies have beat us to the ashes yet again

  17. andro

    wikileaks lost the game the moment their preferences were announced, and the nazi party ranked high, and above the quality greens senator scott ludlam who has been doing a very good job pushing the issues wikileaks supposedly stand for. They were trying to play the preferences game but preferences were put in which were not approved by the wikileaks national council, and in doing so they became part of the problem they are trying to solve (and lost most of their supporter base). It turns out you cant say one thing and then do another when running on a platform of transparency and proper process.

    More info here: http://danielmathews.info/blog/2013/08/statement-of-resignation-from-wikileaks-party-national-council/

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Go Palmer!

    I hope he does get in.

    He's as mad as a cut snake of course.

    I just want to see him in action.

    Reality TV eat your heart out.

    1. FozzyBear Silver badge

      Re: Go Palmer!

      My thoughts exactly. Personally love to see a debate between him and Abbott. I'm sure Palmer would be able to throw in a reference to budgie smuggler somehow. It was this comment I was hoping for in the rudd v Abbott, but alas just boring policy crap.

  19. James 51
    Joke

    The title is too long.

    "North American readers need to imagine a 240-pounder who combines the positions of tailback and defensive tackle"

    Quoi?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The title is too long.

      Canadian eh?

      He is like a Hockey player, buddy.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ASSange loses again

    The life of a loser like ASSange exiles him to sleeping on the couch of a rogue country.

  21. mmeier

    Well, guess around January we will get the British and Swedes do a deal like "If Sweden does not imprison him he'll go back to GB for skipping bail" and soon after that Equador claims that "this is good enough to ensure the safety of Commonwealth-citizen Assagne" and decide the need for Asylum no longer exists.

    Three month to 10 years later (depending on wether he had a nice STD while not using a condom or not(1)) Assange will land on Sydney airport (if he didn't behave on the flight face first after Lars and Inga throw him out of the plane) and get a final press conference. A VERY big one courtesy of the USA...

    (1) Having unprotected sex while suffering from an Sexually Transmitted Disease is considered "Körperverletzung" (battery) in quite a few countries. And Assange refusing a blood test more than once speaks volumes to me

  22. CmdrX3
    Angel

    It must be true then

    There really is a God :-)

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