back to article LOHAN cops a faceful of smutronyms

There's nothing quite like a Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) backronym challenge to bring out the sniggering schoolboy in our beloved spaceplane fans. Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic Earlier this week, we challenged you lot to come up with a snappy name for our mission abort box - in the best …

COMMENTS

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  1. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Fuel to the flames

    > So, those of you who've not yet entered the competition ...

    You *know* this is just going to be a platform for the smutsters to take another bite of the cherry ... Hmmm, cherry ... CHERRI

    Computerised High-altitude Emergency Rockblock Release Initiator

    Contrived? Moi?

  2. JonP

    BARBIE - clean & wholesome enough?

    Balloon

    Arduino

    Rock

    Block

    Initiated

    Ejector

    1. JonP

      Re: BARBIE - clean & wholesome enough?

      Just thought of another - really must try and do some work...

      Now

      Snip

      Arduino!

  3. Smarty Pants
    Mushroom

    J - Just

    U - Utilise

    S - Switch

    T - Toggles

    I - Iridium

    N - Negator

    or

    B - Balloon

    I - In

    E - Error

    B - Better

    E - Eject

    R - Rocket

  4. rurwin

    How else to interupt an out-of-control career?

    REHAB

    Required (or Remote)

    Emergency

    High

    Altitude

    Breaker

    Unfortunately there is already a REHAB, but they won't be confused, and this usage is far cooler. ;-)

  5. Shrimpling

    SWIFT

    As this if for terminating a wayward flight in a sudden way I propose SWIFT

    S - Sudden

    W - Wayward

    I - International

    F - Flight

    T - Terminator

  6. GettinSadda

    BOTOX

    If is all starts to look wrong LOHAN may need to rely on:

    Button Operated Termination Of eXperiment

  7. NorthernCoder
    Thumb Up

    LOVER

    LOHAN

    Operator;

    Vertical

    Emergency

    Remote

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Special

    Projects

    Urgent

    Neutralising

    Kit

  9. A K Stiles
    Alert

    SPITS

    Satellite

    Powered

    Incursion

    Termination

    System

  10. Wyrdness

    SMUT

    Spanish Manual Un-Tetherer

  11. BigG

    GAGA - Guard Alert Gringos Away (or Guiris Away)

    PS. Link to Southampton University Postgrad no longer working - cuts?

  12. Ralph B

    MILEY

    M - Mission

    I - Interrupting

    L - LOHAN

    E - Eject

    Y - Yoke

    1. Ralph B

      Re: MILEY

      (You'd be a twert, sorry, twerp to use it too soon.)

      1. Ralph B

        Re: MILEY

        ((Or did I mean "twerk". Yes, I probably did. (Sigh.)))

    2. David Kelly 2

      Re: MILEY

      Every LOHAN needs a MILEY!

  13. Huntsman

    SPURT Box

    Special

    Projects

    Uplink

    Remote

    Terminator

  14. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Necessary

    Electrically

    Activated

    Remote

    Mission

    Incursion

    Sabotage

    System

    or

    Orbital

    Orb

    Puncturing

    System

  15. Don Jefe
    Thumb Up

    Honored

    Wow, just wow. I'm so excited to have my contributions to the decline of humanity recognized on the international stage. Rarely does one receive recognition for aiding a species in its race to the bottom.

    I would like to think my Kindergarten teacher for teaching me about acronyms by always speaking the individual letters of the names she called me. Without her guiding hand I would never have even tried to figure out what those words meant.

    I would also like to thank my Marketing Director for his habit of naming our internal projects so atrociously that I have gained untold experience in building the type of strong, attention getting bacronyms that distill the essence of a project into a tidy, easy to use package.

    I would like to thank all post-Hoover Presidential administrations for their tireless service in concocting ridiculous and unwieldy acronyms for their door-to-door democracy delivery operations. They have set the bar very low and as you know, there can't be a first place unless there's a last place.

    Lastly I would like to thank my dog, Archduke Ferdinand (aka Emergency Meal #1) for his unquestioning loyalty and for staying by my side as I toiled with the more subtle aspects of my latest acronym creation.

    1. Shrimpling
      Thumb Up

      Re: Honored

      Upvote for "Emergency Meal #1"...

      Best dog name ever.

    2. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Honored

      It does bring a swelling of pride doesn't it?

      Well, the swelling of something anyway.

      Trebles all round!

    3. Captain DaFt

      Re: Honored

      " Wow, just wow. I'm so excited to have my contributions to the decline of humanity recognized on the international stage. Rarely does one receive recognition for aiding a species in its race to the bottom. "

      Yes, it is a rare glow of pride to be so honored in the forums of El Reg.*

      Maybe they could see their way to a special badge for those of use that have contributed so much?

      *My contribution was lauded here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/05/sign_compo_results/

  16. ToggleMaudlin

    GERONIMO

    (Ge)osensitive

    (Ro)ckblock-powered

    (Ni)x

    (Mo)biliser

  17. Lunatik

    DUI - Disaster? Undo It!

    OPRAH - Obligatory Panic Rocket Arrestment Hardware

  18. Parax

    End of the outing? need to get home quick?

    Terminate Autonomy eXtricate Immediatly

  19. SRMoll

    Fornicate

    FOR

    NICking

    Aircraft

    TEther

    I.e. "Quick we must fornicate now!"

  20. Bill Fresher

    WANT-MUFF

    Whatchamacallit Apparatus Needed To-Manually Unfasten Floating Failure

  21. Jon Green

    TWERKER

    T Termination

    W With

    E Enabled

    R RockBLOCK -

    K Kite

    E Emergency

    R Release

  22. Pypes
    Paris Hilton

    S.L.A.P.P.E.R.

    Space

    Launch

    Automatic

    Payload

    Preservation

    Electronic

    Release

  23. Bill Fresher

    PUBE

    Promptly Unfasten Balloon Equipment

  24. Shambles
    Thumb Up

    C.L.I.T.F.L.I.C

    Cut Line In Transit - Force Loss (of) Immediate Control

    .

    .

    .

    Sorted.

  25. lawndart

    says

    Manually

    Activated

    Range

    Safety

    Electrical

    Device

    M-ARSE-D

    (with extra padding)

    1. lawndart

      Re: says

      or

      Manually

      Activated

      Range

      Safety

      Emergency

      Descent

  26. Malcolm 2
    Happy

    Jeri Ryan

    I think that I have just posted in the wrong thread - evidently distracted.

    Judicious Emergency Remote Initiated Rapid "Yes Abort Now"

  27. Why Not?

    Coitus

    Coitus

    Cut

    Off

    In-Flight

    Tether

    for

    Universal

    Safety

  28. Bill Fresher

    MACHETE

    Makes Arduino Cut-down Hardware Ensuing Trip Emergency

    1. Bill Fresher

      Re: MACHETE

      or

      Makes Arduino Cut-down Hardware Eliminating Transpiring Endangerment

  29. Nicholas EGF Berry

    FONDLE

    Free Orb Non-Destructive LOHAN Equipment

  30. Robin Bradshaw

    SIDEKICK

    Spanish

    Imposed

    Deactivation

    Enhancement

    Key

    Initiated

    Controlled

    Kill

  31. Lottie

    Space Plane Untethering: Negating Katastrophe

    Anti

    Baloon

    Offcourse

    Reactive

    Terminator

  32. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    OK I'll add a Russian touch to it

    Manual-Abort Remotely-Utilised Switch-Initiated Apparatus

    or Marusia, 'cause it's lonely up there and Lohan will need a friendly companion like that, for example...

  33. Steve Davis 1

    BRASTRAP

    Big

    Red

    Abort

    Switch

    To

    Release

    Aerial

    Payload

  34. kmac499

    PANIC

    Every Good Project should have a PANIC button, If only for the reason that everyone can wonder around lik Corporal Jones form HicthHikers saying "Don't Panic"

    Push

    Actuated

    Negative

    Incident

    Containment.

    BUTTON

    By the way in best Strategic Rocket Service parctice, the control box should have a second key on at least six foot of wire to enforce dual control of such a drastic option. (It doesn't need to be wired up just needs to look the part :-) )

  35. Harvey Trowell
    Mushroom

    A further effort for your kind consideration:

    DISCONEKT - Dave's Indubitably Shed-Created Ominously Nerdgasm-Enabling Killswitch Terminal

    Which I feel is suitably improbable, although back at the other end of the probability scale, I still like:

    BRA - Ballocket Remote Abort

  36. BrotherWolf

    ABORTS

    Abruptly Break Orbit Rockblock Terminator Switch

  37. This post has been deleted by its author

  38. adam.c

    Shall

    We

    Abort

    Lohan

    Lest

    Orbit

    Will

    Start

  39. Mycho Silver badge

    Let

    It

    Not

    Drop

    Somewhere

    Anyone's

    Yodelling

  40. Mycho Silver badge

    STOP

    Shit!

    Turn

    Off

    Pronto!

  41. This post has been deleted by its author

  42. Bill Fresher

    REDBUTTON

    Release Equipment Dave Built Used To Terminate Orbiter Nosedive.

  43. Don Jefe

    FNORD

    Failure

    Neutralization

    Orbiter

    Recall

    Device

  44. Toltec

    DWAYNE DIBLEY

    Disaster!

    Why

    Are

    You

    Not

    Expediting

    Destruct

    Immediately?

    Blow

    Lanyard

    Electronically,

    Yes?

    Because when you see him you know it has all gone wrong.

  45. Toltec

    When it has all gone a bit-

    Prevent

    Egregious

    Territorial

    Exodus

    Total

    Orbiter

    Nullification

    Go

  46. Toltec

    I have work to do damn it!

    Obvious really, this calls for the Corbomite manouevre

    Cancel

    Orbital

    Rocket

    By

    Operating

    Manually

    Initiated

    Tether

    Elimination

  47. JCB.Photorf

    OH! DRAT

    Overflown

    Habitation!

    DRop

    Activation

    Transmission

  48. Aleph0

    HANGOVER

    Human Activated Network Gear for On-demand Vehicle Emergency Release .

  49. Sequin

    Big Red Aeroplane Launch Emergency Stop Switch

    AKA BRALESS

  50. Shades

    PEARSHAPED - Primary Emergency Abort (and) Release System (of) High Altitude Project Experiencing Deviation

    BOLLOCKS - Bloody Orbital LOHAN Lifter Off Course Kill Switch

  51. Robert Moore

    For whatever it is worth

    I really liked:

    ARSE - Automated Range Safety Equipment (lawndart)

    Smart, funny, and could almost be accidental.

  52. Splodger

    Stop! H.A.M.S.T.E.R. Time!

    High

    Altitude

    Mission

    Switch

    Tether

    Emergency

    Release

  53. Chris G Silver badge

    TOOLBox

    Terminate

    Orb

    Operations

    Lohan

    Box

  54. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Angel

    Angel

    Asynchronous

    Networked

    Gravity

    Enhanced

    Liberator

  55. IT Drone

    SCRAM

    Safety

    Cut-down

    RockBLOCK

    Abort

    Mechanism

    [Nothing to do with SCRAM® (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor), honest.]

  56. Bill Fresher

    Where's my prize?

    I have a use for it.

  57. Alister Silver badge

    M.A.M.M.A.R.Y

    Mission Abort Mechanism, May Attract Register Yokels

    Description and warning in one neat package...

  58. annodomini2 Bronze badge

    SPUNK

    Special

    Projects

    Unintended

    Nuance

    Kontrol

  59. Sp0ck

    LECH

    Lohan

    Emergency

    Cut-off

    Hardware

  60. Sp0ck

    LUBE

    Lohan

    Umbilical

    Break

    Equipment

  61. Mike Flugennock

    Actually, I kind of like ARSE

    It's simple, elegant, technically descriptive, and it seemed to require the least amount of verbal "shoehorning" to get the verbiage to fit the abbreviation.

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